Chapter Text
It was another day in Gotham city, poverty was written all over this part of town, it's a disease that can never be cured. Each election, politicians spewed out their sweet sugar-coated lies to coax the people into giving them their vote in hopes to revive this dying city back to its former glory but all of them are the same, their all liars that only care about wealth and power. The city reeked of putrid smell of scattered garbage, smoke and crime. All forms of desecration can be seen everywhere, even in the nicest part of town. The oppressive thick air that weighed down on this city could make anyone suffocate and desperately cling onto their last bits of sanity. The streets are always filled with people who are barely trying to get by and the scoundrels, it was honestly hard to tell the difference sometimes.
Arthur took up the opportunity and the displeasure of holding out signs and making a fool out of himself to promote small businesses again. It was for a local movie store where you come to either buy or rent pirated movies of all kinds. The pay for this one isn't really all that good but he'll do anything to put bread on the table. He put up his giddy clown persona as he showed off his "skills". Doing this for hours on end drained him and was only met with strange stares, occasional patronizing comments and people ignoring him, however there were times when people seemed half-heartedly interested in what he was trying to promote by looking at the small shop he was working for but no one actually went in to check it out much less buy anything, not today...not yet he hoped at least.
He was used to it by now but it didn’t mean that it didn’t bother him, it was times like this that made him fall into that deep pit of self-doubt and loathing. Why was he still doing this? He knew exactly why. This is the only job that is willing to accept someone like him, it was perfect really, being a clown suited him because he already is one, costume or no costume. He just learned to accept it whether he liked it or not
He hated feeling invisible
He hated how nobody cared
He hated feeling so stupid all the time
Whenever he felt like his psyche is on the bridge of collapse, he repeated the words his dear mother always tells him "your purpose is to bring laughter and joy to the world". It always brought the tiniest glimmer of hope inside him that maybe one day things will get better, people will finally see him and everyone will adore him. Arthur didn’t exactly hate this job, unlike most people would assume. He likes this clown gig, he loved making people happy, making them laugh; although he won’t deny the degradation that came with it, most people don’t find clowns funny anymore and sometimes he gets hired for shit like this. Becoming a Comedian in stand-up comedy is his true passion, his lifelong dream. He set his heart on making people see the funnier side of things even in the most depressing times. There was something intoxicating about acknowledging and being blissfully ignorant about these trying times by coming up with awful jokes that reflected on that. Arthur Fleck faced this dilemma all his life, all he needed was a proper outlet where people should expect as much from him and make them feel uneasy, but not in the way he usually does.
It felt good.
~~-------------------------------~~
It was already late in the afternoon and the sun would be coming down soon enough and he was still out doing the same routine he'd been doing for the past couple hours. There was only a couple more minutes and his shift would be over and he'd finally be free...until he does it all over again for the remaining week or two. So far, the grand total of people that he managed to entice enough are---3. He hoped this didn’t affect his paycheck. Today was yet another disappointing day but since there were only few minutes left, might as well go out with a bang in consolation.
His feet glided side to side as did the rest of his spindly body. He closed his eyes, engrossed in the performance that he was performing to no one but himself right now. His head swayed to the rhythm of his movement and as he went on his perpetual grin only grew wider until it reached ear to ear. He made elaborated twirls on the run-down sign as much as his skill allowed it. Letting the music in his soul take over in the heat of the moment and exerting the remaining energy he had left as he let the dance inside of him spring free. With one dramatic step forward his act is done as was his shift. His phosphoric green eyes fluttered open and were immediately met by a small girl inches away from him with her mouth open like a codfish. He yelped in surprise and in a rather high pitched and comical way---he didn’t mean to make it come off like that...
Jolting back, he accidentally dropped his sign; he took a few more steps back leaving a few feet of space between the two of them. The child let out a small giggle in response of his sudden outburst. He just stared at her, still in shock from the incident. His thumb gripped the small opening of his orange vest, heart still racing, and he could feel it furiously beating out of his chest. The girl bit her lip, seemingly remorseful about what she just caused. She picked up the sign with her dainty hands and offered it to the silly man she just confounded.
How long was she standing there? Was this kid there the whole time but he somehow failed to realize it sooner like a clown that he was...
She had long, unkept hazelnut hair that scattered everywhere as if she just went in a wind tunnel, some of her locks even covered the right side of her face which a bothered him a bit. Her outfit was nothing out of the ordinary, except for maybe the over sized jacket she was wearing that an adult probably lent. Judging from her frame she looks like she could be in the 2nd or 3rd grader that just wandered off. Was she lost or something? God, he doesn’t want to deal with a missing child...
He would've asked if she was lost or if he could call someone for her so they can pick her up if it wasn’t for the restless anticipation etched on her face. He thought otherwise since normally lost children tend to relentlessly cry and whine for their parents but she wasn't, it almost seemed like she wanted to be here. Her big bright eyes that were also the same shade as her hair were beaming with curiosity and wonder, so much so that it made it seem like she was waiting for him to do something worthwhile. Children are easily distracted in general but it just seemed like she genuinely saw him as someone who is worth her time. It gave him some confidence in himself, or perhaps he was just desperate for any kind of real attention. Was she really amused with the dance he was doing earlier? She had to, right? Why else would she stay and watch if she wasn’t impressed?
Arthur liked to think that he was good with children. After all, he was a party clown and was able to extensively work his way around their demographic; he loved making them laugh. They have always been easier to please, he even enjoyed their company at times, they get enthralled with the simplest of tricks and gestures, they wouldn't beat or cuss at him like the average Gothamite would...for the most part anyway. Maybe he can spare some time to entertain this child for a bit. He’s got nothing to lose. He won’t even bother asking her about the obvious---well...maybe he will later but this was his shining moment to prove himself.
He gave her a coy look and slowly reached out for the sign, fingers outstretching one by one when he touched it. He did a dramatic step forward with a face that matched as he took the sign and gave it a little twirl during the process, she chuckled a bit in response which gave him the energy to muster up a confident yet awkward smile. He skipped back and bowed down to the brunette as if she was a princess. The party clown quickly lifted himself up with his crooked smile still intact.
He paused for a moment trying to think of his next move. He took out the sign in front of him that he stuck in between his arm, arching both of his brows and frowned in a way that looked silly but never breaking eye contact. He crossed his ankles clockwise and strode back, then he did the same movement in reverse, managing to conjure up a little dance for the little lady. As tired as Arthur was, he found himself beaming with energy now because he found his audience. The performance he was doing was nothing new, but to the child it sparked awe and glee, like having a front row seat in a premier showing. Sure, he made a few mistakes with his footing and almost dropping his sign twice since but the kid only found it charming as his smile was almost infectious.
She was the center of his attention while he saw her as a source of adoration that he oh so craved.
Several minutes passed by and the clown faced performer was sweaty and out of breath from exertion. Even his face paint started melt away but his smile never faded as did the girl's. She smiled and laughed with glee in almost the entirety of the performance. With a sharp inhale, he gave a big bow and huffed. His audience applauded at his show. Arthur let out a worn out yet satisfied chuckle while raising his hand up, flattered by the gesture. He crouched down to her level. He wanted to keep making her happy. He needed to hear that sweet laughter again, it made him feel so much better. This is what he was born to do.
"Do you wanna hear a joke?" He asked.
Her round face lit up and eagerly nodded at his proposal. Arthur perked up in an almost childlike manner, he fished for his joke journal that he kept inside his vest. He didn't feel comfortable leaving it inside his bag where nosy people can easily gain access to his most private thoughts plus, he likes to keep it around in case he manages to come up with jokes whenever. He skimmed over the pages that were filled with illegible handwriting and grotesque cut out pictures, he struggled to find an 'age appropriate joke' since most of them were dark by nature as was his state of mind. She tried to peer over his notes to which he protectively hidden it from her view. He bit his lip while his eyes darted each section of the pages hoping to find the right one as his anxiety started to kick in, he increasingly got nervous because it was taking longer than it should, so much so that an awkward aura started to build up.
He sighed in relief when he managed to reel in the perfect joke. It was written in the bottom right alongside a multitude of other jokes and random thoughts he jotted down before. The page before it had a lewd picture of a woman from a magazine that he stole. He licked his dry lips and opened his mouth in preparation to tell his long-awaited joke to the small dame. He has to get this right; no slip ups this time.
"Have you---"
"There you are!"
Both of them snapped their heads at the direction of the livid voice. There was an aggravated man stomping his way towards them, it was like counting the seconds pass by while the ticking time bomb is about to explode. There was no doubt in Arthur's mind that this guy is probably her father. The clown fumbled back, dropping the old sign again when the stranger angrily stomped his way onto the girl's direction, not even caring that he just shoved him in the process. The man spared no time to slap the defenseless girl across the head while profusely cussing at her, she was helpless against the towering figure. People actively ignored the cruel assault, all of them just passed by and moved on with their lives as if nothing happened. It didn’t sit well with him. It was like holding up a mirror at his own pathetic life. He was scared but he didn’t want to be like those cruel people that cared about no one but themselves, he had to do something. Anything.
He gathered enough courage to reluctantly approach the furious man and feebly tried to pry him away from the cowering child. "H-Hey stop it, that's enough..!"
"And you!" he shoved the clown with fury still coursing through his veins "stay the fuck away from my daughter, creep. What the hell were you doing?"
"Nothing, I-I---I was just trying to make her laugh" he shakily reasoned out.
"Bullshit." He drawled then grabbed Arthur by the collar. The defeated clown could only stare at the man who was a head taller at him dead on, barely even breathing. The child desperately tried to fend off her father to stop but to no avail. “Don’t lie to me I saw what's inside that notebook of yours" the man’s expression darkened and Arthur eyes widened from the realization. The girl's eye darted at him in confusion. He wasn't a bad guy; it was all a misunderstanding. He was just trying to make her laugh.
"I swear, I wasn’t trying to--" before he could explain himself, he was thrown to the side of the store he was working at where a vast array of magazines and newspapers were placed. As soon as he collided, the papers scattered everywhere. He groaned at the throbbing pain that traveled throughout his fragile body, Arthur was certain that he’ll bruise up later.
She rushed over to him but halted her steps when he howled with manic laughter. There was that burning sensation that he was all too familiar with. He clawed at his throat and gagged when he tried to suppress the laughter but it was a futile attempt. It’s always been like this. He remained slumped over the mass of reading material, he wanted the ground to swallow him up right then and there, that would've been a thousand times better than this nightmare. The sound of his misery echoed throughout the street with people peering over the pitiful display. He caught several glimpses of the small crowd gathering around him, gawking at him like some sort of wild specimen but his glassy eyes were drawn to the girl that was now afraid of his presence. He must’ve looked like an absolute madman, and to some degree, he is. She wouldn’t understand what was happening, neither did anyone else as they would just simply dismiss him as another one of the crazies. As it went on, his cackles turned into a mixture of laughs and dry sobs.
"Freak" the man spat out and yanked her away.
Even in the midst of his fit, his gaze still lingered towards her. She whipped her head back at him; the motion revealed what was hidden under those messy locks, there was large bruise on the right side of her forehead that reached down to her eye. Those ugly splashes of purple, red and black didn’t suit such a sweet face. His heart dropped a little but he wasn’t entirely surprised either. Why must she give him those puppy dog eyes?
His laugh only grew louder.
Their silhouettes became smaller and smaller until they completely vanished from his line of sight. He was sure that he'll never see her again.