Work Text:
“What do you mean you don’t like pet names?”
“I never said I don’t like them.” Tenzou scratched behind one ear, a little confused. “I just…I don’t have any pets, Genma. You know that.”
He didn’t understand why Kakashi was laughing so hard but then he also didn’t understand why Genma wanted to know about naming pets when the man had been to his place before so he was more than aware that Tenzou didn’t have any. The lifestyle of a shinobi just wasn’t often suited to keeping non-ninja pets.
“Maybe we should talk about something else,” Genma murmured.
“Yes please.”
“What would your ideal date be?”
If the man kept jumping topics so often they were all likely to get whiplash but Tenzou did his best to keep up, answering with the first thing that came to mind. “Sometime in October I guess.”
“No I…what?”
“You know,” Kakashi butted in, the visible parts of his face red with laughter. “Nice weather, pretty leaves. October! The perfect date!”
“Exactly,” Tenzou declared, relieved that he’d gotten this question right.
Or so he thought until Kakashi fairly broke down over the table and he watched Genma take a deep breath, his face pulled in to a look of disappointment. He did so hate to disappoint people. If only he knew what he was doing wrong here. Thankfully the man seemed willing to make at least one more try to get whatever his point was across.
“Do you enjoy massages?” Genma asked.
“I find them very useful, yes.” At least this one was an easy question.
“Would you like one?” The smile his friend was wearing didn’t seem to match his words but Tenzou gave them proper consideration anyway because that was his way. It simply wasn’t polite to ignore such a selfless offer.
“No thank you,” he decided. “I haven’t been on a mission in a few days so I’m not actually very sore right now.”
Kakashi promptly excused himself from the booth with one hand clasped over his mouth, muttering to himself about oblivious idiots not getting the point. Much as Tenzou was aware that he was probably the aforementioned idiot that didn’t help him in the least to figure out what he was missing. It wasn’t his fault most shinobi were so used to their job they all but forgot how to talk straight to the point.
Seeing Genma drop his gaze to the table while shaking his head in defeat, Tenzou felt a wash of remorse and scrambled to find a way to redeem himself. Clearly he’d failed but he knew it would bother him for weeks if he didn’t at least ask for clarification on how. Maybe next time he could do better.
“Perhaps if I knew what you were getting at with these questions…”
“You really don’t know?” Genma asked, incredulous. “Seriously, you’re not just playing dumb?”
“No,” Tenzou said with a shamed blush.
After a few seconds of staring the leer made a slow reappearance. “I was trying to flirt with you, dumb dumb. Maybe ask you out tomorrow night if you responded at all. But I thought you were just dodging my questions with the most ridiculous answers you could think of and I was about to bow out with as much grace as I had left.”
“Oh no.” Tenzou sank down on to the table and covered his head with both hands, mortified beyond words. His crush had been flirting with him, the man he’d been mooning over for months had been attempting to return the attentions he so badly wanted, and he was too big of an idiot to notice. That was just like him. No wonder Kakashi had been laughing at him so much he needed to leave.
Despite hoping that the man would have mercy and leave him to his misery he felt Genma reach over to pat him on the head.
“Would you like to go out tomorrow night?” he asked as clearly as possible.
“Yes,” Tenzou managed to squeak out.
“Never talk about this again?”
“I would appreciate that.”
His potentially-now-a-boyfriend laughed and although Tenzou had no faith that Genma would actually never tease him about this it was still nice to know that they were both coming out on top even after so many failed attempts. Now all he had to do was figure out a bribe to get Kakashi to keep his mouth shut about how bad at flirting he really was.