Work Text:
“Data, I’ve never understood why you can’t use contractions. You speak English fluently, as well as who-knows-how-many other languages. Even novice English learners pick up contractions, so what's the problem?” Geordi leaned one elbow on the bar. He had a glass of cold-pressed single-origin in front of him and the next three duty shifts off. He had joined Data for a drink in Ten Forward on the way to an investigative simulation Data was calling "The Percievers," and the world seemed rosy. Data drank the last of his bio-lubricant and softly set the glass back on the bar.
“I believe my inability to use contractions is a consequence of the subtle rules that governing their construction. I am told they have an intuitive logic, but that logic has, thus far, eluded me.”
Geordi took a sip of his coffee. The last of a roast he’d brought back from a leave on Ohana IV, it was syrupy and rich, with flavors of clavisoa berries and raw cacao. “Look, Data. The rules are real simple. You just take the first part of one word and the last part of the word after it and, kind of, push them together. You see?”
“I think so, Geordi. For example, ‘you’ and ‘will’ would contract into ‘you’ll.”
“That’s right!”
“And ‘I’ and ‘am’ would contract into ‘I’m’.”
“You’ve got it!”
“Then ‘that’ and ‘replicator’ would contract into ‘th’eplicator’.”
“Wait-“
“And ‘a’ and ‘chair’ would contract into ‘a’ir’.”
“No, Data-“
“I’nk I’ee now, Geordi. I’ve been making a’ountain out’f th’averbial molehill. Contractions’re reall’nt as’rd’s I’ve’ted the’t’be. In’ct-”
“Data? Data!” Geordi took the android by both shoulders. Data closed his mouth.
“Yes, Geordi.”
“Data, what are you doing? Are you ok?”
“I am currently operating within normal parameters.”
Geordi scanned his friend’s face, which was calm and relaxed. “Then what *was* that? You just started talking like- I don’t know what.” There was a breath of silence, and then Data's eyebrows lifted.
“I was teasing you, Geordi. Taking actions that I believe will inspire mild irritation for humorous effect.” Data’s eyes, as always, were serene. His face didn’t show the elevated heat of mischief or the shadow densities of a concealed grin, but then, it wouldn’t. Geordi stared at his friend, polyglot and polymath, who had apparently added “deadpan humor” to the list of human skills he’d mastered.
Geordi let go of Data’s shoulders and took another sip of coffee. “…I see.”
“I think you mean ’I’ee’, Geordi.”