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hands.
Lev studies his target, forms a plan of attack. Normally it's not a struggle for him to just go for it and do what he wants to do, but Yaku is always telling him to put more thought into his actions and he's going to listen to him this time.
Yaku turns towards him, and Lev looks away quickly. That's another lesson Yaku taught him: don't make be obvious about where you're aiming.
"You don't have to be so nervous, you know," Yaku says with a smile. He holds out his hand, palm up.
In an instant, all of Lev's plans crumble. When he takes Yaku's hand, it's the best feeling in the world.
kiss.
Lev has never hated his height more than right now.
"I'm sorry," he says again, handing over a freshly prepared ice pack. "I'm so sorry."
"That's okay," Yaku says with wince. "Just...explain to me why you felt the need to head butt me in the middle of a movie?"
"It was supposed to be a kiss," he answers miserably.
Yaku lets out a huff of laughter. "That's not how you kiss someone."
"I know that," he pouts. "I missed."
"Hey." Yaku reaches over with the hand not occupied with the ice pack to poke Lev's cheek. "Don't pout."
He moves to straddle Lev's lap. He transfers the ice pack from his head to Lev's, traces his lips with his free hand. "Do you want to try that again?"
Like this, there's much less of a height difference to accommodate for, and it's a lot easier to tip his head and press his lips to Yaku's.
giving.
"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Lev. I don't mind."
"No, I want to." Lev swallows, licks his lips. "I want to do this."
He hooks his fingers in the waistband of Yaku's boxers and pulls them down. He puts his hands on Yaku's thighs and wills himself to focus on the task in front of him, rather than the nervousness crawling along his spine.
"Lev."
Yaku's voice startles him and he realizes he's been staring for a while. He drags his gaze from Yaku's crotch to his face.
"You okay?"
"Um…" Lev glances down and blushes. He's seen Yaku in various states of undress multiple times before, in the locker room, at training camp, even when they've been alone together. But somehow it feels different knowing that he's about to…
He has to say it. If he can't even think the words in his mind he really shouldn't be doing it.
He's going to go down on Yaku.
He just...isn't quite sure how to start.
"I've never done this before."
"Lev." Yaku's voice is a little gentler this time. He lifts a hand to stroke Lev's hair. "Lev, look at me."
Lev does. Looks at Yaku in the eye for the first time since they were making out on his bed and he announced his intentions. The knot in his stomach unfurls a little.
"It's okay to change your mind. If you want to go back to what we were doing, or if you want to stop and put our clothes back on and just watch a movie, we can."
"I've never done this before," Lev repeats. "But I want to do this for you. Just...tell me if I do something wrong?" He smiles, hoping it will calm his nerves and convince Yaku that he isn't lying.
Because he isn't. He really does want to do this. But it's one thing to have Yaku drop to his knees and smile up at him, or to read about how to do it online, and another to actually be the one doing it.
Something in his face must convince Yaku because he says, "Okay," with a squeeze to his shoulder. "But if you want to stop…"
Lev lowers his head to kiss Yaku's hip. "I don't want to stop," he says against Yaku's skin, and he means it. He lowers his head, and finally presses his mouth against Yaku.
love.
The realization comes suddenly, jerking him away from his almost-slumber. He turns to Yaku immediately.
"I love you," Lev whispers into the dark.
He holds his breath, waiting to see if Yaku will respond, but all he hears is the steady breathing signaling Yaku's continued sleep.
He releases his breath, relieved he hasn't been heard. He's ready to say the words, he's just not sure he's ready to be heard.
dress up.
"I got you something."
Lev holds up the scrap of fabric for Yaku to see. He goes from intrigued to closed in an instant.
"I'm not wearing that," he says, with a sort of steel in his voice that Lev's never heard before.
"Not for you," Lev says quickly, because he'd never ask--never want--Yaku to wear something like this. "For me. It's for me to wear. If you want."
After a long moment Yaku says, "Yeah. Yeah, okay."
He still seems stiff, but Lev's not sure what else to do so he drops his pants and boxers quickly to pull on the pink lace panties.
"Do you like them?" he asks, before realizing he's still wearing his shirt. He's tangled up in it, trying to pull it off when Yaku speaks.
"Do you?"
"Umm…" Lev has to think, hadn't really put thought into before now. He likes the color, soft and dainty. The feel of the lace fabric against his skin is different but not necessarily bad. "I do."
Yaku doesn't say anything, the look on his face saying that he's lost in his head again. He worries too much, thinks too hard. It's not Lev's fault, but he still wishes there was something he could do to make up for all the circumstances in Yaku's life that made him that way.
"You know I would never ask you to wear something like this, right? I would never want you to."
Yaku doesn't say anything, and Lev worries that he's done something wrong. He messes a lot of things up, goes into things without thinking only to end up screwing them up, and this is the first relationship he's had. But still...he'd thought he'd been doing good. Had he said or done something wrong without realizing it?
"Is this not okay? I can take them off?"
This time Lev doesn't wait for Yaku to answer. He hooks his thumbs in the waistband of the panties to pull them down. (He'll burn them later, this was a terrible idea.)
"Wait."
He freezes, looking towards Yaku.
"Come here," Yaku says.
Lev moves toward the bed, where Yaku's been seated this whole time, and it feels like he's traveling miles. He doesn't know whether to apologize or just keep his mouth shut. He opts for the latter.
As soon as he's within arm's reach Yaku reaches for him and pulls Lev towards him. He loses balance and ends up half straddling, half sprawled in Yaku's lap.
"I like them," Yaku says, leaning forward to press a light kiss to Lev's chest. "I like them a lot."
He drags his teeth across skin before biting down and sucking. Lev whines and dips his head down to kiss Yaku on the lips before trailing kisses over his jaw and down his neck.
"I-I love you," he says into Yaku's skin, stumbling over the words that are still new to both of them. He rests his head in the crook of Yaku's neck. "I don't want to do anything that would mess this up."
"You haven't," Yaku says. "You haven't messed anything up. You're perfect. I love you." He moves his hands to cup Lev's ass, the warmth of his touch easy to feel through the barely there fabric. "And I love these on you."
"Good," Lev says, lifting his head. "Because I think they make me look pretty."
Yaku snorts, familiar exasperation painting his features, and Lev finally allows himself to relax fully.
"You're definitely the prettiest boy I know," he says, and Lev preens under his attention.
family.
Yaku leans in close to Lev and whispers, "What's she saying?"
"I don't know," Lev whispers back. "I don't speak Russian, remember?"
"She's your grandmother, don't you have at least some idea of what she's saying?"
"I really don't. Oh wait--that I know. She's talking about what disgraceful grandson I am for not knowing Russian."
shoes.
Lev tries to take a step, but his foot lands and his ankle goes one way and his knee buckles and goes another. Yaku is there, like he's always there, to catch him with steady arms and a laugh.
"You're putting too much weight on your toes. You need to transfer it back. Lower your center of gravity. It's all in the hips."
"But they're so thin. What if they break?"
"They won't break. They're designed to hold your weight."
"I don't get it. My mom and sisters make this look so easy."
"I'm sure your mom and sisters didn't start out in four inch platform heels."
Lev recollects himself and stands again, slowly taking his hands from where they had been clinging tightly to Yaku's shirt. This time he manages a few unsteady steps before he starts to topple over and has to be rescued by Yaku.
"Your ankles are weak," Yaku says, laughing. "And now you're putting too much of your weight back. You need to balance it evenly between the two or you're going to keep falling."
"Sorry," Lev says. "I thought this would be sexier."
"Just because you're about as sexy as a newborn giraffe, doesn't mean I'm not enjoying myself."
comfort.
Lev pulls the large wrapped box from under his bed, suddenly nervous.
"You have to promise to tell me if you hate it," he says, clutching it to his chest even though the action squishes the bow that he had carefully tied just hours earlier. "Don't worry about hurting my feelings. Just tell me the truth."
"Lev, when have I ever worried about hurting your feelings?" Yaku asks, clearly resisting the urge to just roll his eyes and snatch the gift from Lev.
All the time, Lev thinks. You just don't like to admit it.
"Never," he says instead, and hands the package over.
Yaku unwraps it the way he does everything else, carefully and neatly. He unties the ribbon and sets it aside, and then turns Lev's present over to tear the wrapping open along the taped seam. He sets the paper aside as well, and Lev immediately reaches over and crumbles it up, mostly because how can you not want to crumble up wrapping paper, but also because it helps his nerves.
Yaku lifts the lid off the box and Lev holds his breath waiting for his reaction.
"It's a...blanket," he says, lifting it up out of the box.
"A quilt," Lev corrects. "My mom had my aunt teach me, I think mostly to just make me sit still when I was younger, but then I actually ended up liking it so I joined the local society--"
"Wait a minute, Lev. You made this?"
"Umm…yes?"
"Lev, this is beautiful." Yaku has the quilt completely unfolded now, spread out across his lap, running his fingers over the stitches and fabrics. "How did you find the time to make this?"
"Oh, you know. I just did," he says, not wanting to admit to the many late nights he'd spent feverishly working to finish the quilt in time for Christmas. "Do you like it?"
Yaku throws the quilt around his shoulders and reaches for Lev. "I love it," he says, pulling him down for a kiss.
name.
"Morisuke," Lev says, sounding out each syllable against his skin, and Yaku's heart clenches with each brush of Lev's lips against his skin.
"Morisuke, I love you."
"I love you too, Lev."