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You were in deep slumber when you felt shaking on your left side. Trying to get used to the dark you swiftly look up the time on your phone. 3 AM. Way too early. From the side you could see the source of shaking. Rikiel. The poor man beside you has been dealing with anxiety his whole life and recently, the pressure has only mounted.
After the false hope Father Pucci had given him was crushed, all his words about his ‘’godly’’ father and how important Rikiel turned to ash. After barely surviving the fight, leaving him with multiple burning scars, Rikiel tried to get his life back on track.
You were already in a relationship when he abruptly told you that he desperately needed to go to Florida. No coherent reasoning was given as to why he needs to leave everything behind. Only the promise of returning in one piece. No amount of pleading could make him change his decision. With a goodbye hug and a kiss, he walked away from your shared home. His return was painful – the injuries he had sustained in his fight with Jolyne were by no means minor, as he had barely survived with scars cutting deeply into his beautiful body. Yet, it was still your Rikiel. Your nervous, cute and caring boyfriend. At first, it took a long time for him to open up to you as he was worried about scaring you off, knowing the issues he had. But you were understanding and supportive of him, since you shared similar struggles the same struggles, having problems being outside sometimes as well as communicating with people. Mutual understanding and appreciation for each other’s comfort drew you together. Most of the free time you both spend inside watching movies, reading, or simply cuddling and enjoying each other’s company. The two of you had no need to do anything extravagant or crazy.
Seeing your beloved one in distress made your heart shrink. You turned towards him and gently put your arm on Rikiel’s shoulder to keep from startling him. He looks at you over his shoulder with teary eyes and quickly tries to escape your concerned gaze. You silently turned him towards you, moving your hands from his shoulder to his face, wiping away any tears that were trying to escape. Looking into his rich gold eyes you quietly asked what happened. At first, he tried to reassure you that it was nothing and you should go to sleep, profusely apologizing for waking you up.
“Just please, tell me what’s wrong. My heart hurts knowing that you are suffering”
With that he broke down, bringing you closer to his chest and burying his head in your neck. You hugged him back gently, using one hand to brush his hair and another to draw patterns on his back to ease his anxiety. After some time, his breathing started to become even as you kissed his head, whispering encouraging words of support and hugging him tightly. As he started to calm down, you decided to ask if he felt comfortable sharing how he felt.
“I am scared. I don’t know what else to say. I am simply scared of tomorrow, scared to not achieve anything in life. Scared to disappoint people and especially you. Scared to be reduced to an anxious mess.” He rambled with slightly shaky voice.
“You could never disappoint me. On the contrary, I am extremely proud of you, Riki. Each new day you grow and amaze me with new things, be it your interest in space or microorganisms. And you are so caring, so loving. You bring me comfort. Just being in your arms is enough for me to consider each day a good one. Tomorrow is better with you and I wouldn’t want it any other way.” With that, his hold tightened even more around you and a quiet ‘thank you, I love you’ passed from Rikiel’s lips.
Tomorrow might be scary, but it is better with you in it.