Chapter Text
The moment Jingyi says the words “I love you.” to his long time best friend, Sizhui, it completely catches him unaware.
In the aftermath of a battle, Sizhui only needed to wipe the dirt from his face, look untouchable underneath the moonlight, and chide him gently for his careless behavior, while brushing the stray hairs away from Jingyi's face before the words are out if his mouth without any way of shoving them back in.
The wind whispers the words into the open space and it keeps both Lan’s rooted in their place.
With Jingyi's heart trying to escape from his ribcage, he tries to ignore the voices in his head that were telling him to bash his head on his sword until he faints and to use that as a chance to deny ever saying those three accursed words when he wakes up.
Jingyi can't blame his inner self.
After all, it wasn't like Jingyi was planning to keep his emotions to himself.
He could recognize his impulsiveness.
It was more uncharacteristic of him if he didn't suddenly burst out his feelings in an explosive manner. Jingyi was that much of a hot-blooded person. It was only a matter of time, really. And if he didn’t, people would think Jingyi was possessed. Including himself.
However, Lan Jingyi didn’t want his confession to be casual as a result of his impulses.
He wants it to be deliberate.
Purposeful.
He wants Sizhui to know that Jingyi loved him and that he meant it.
Jingyi just needed to prepare, he once told himself.
Thus to prevent any mishaps that may occur with Jingyi's loud mouth Jingyi had painstakingly planned what his ideal confession would be.
This consisted of a well-written emotionally spurning letter, to be given underneath the magnolia blossoms near the cold springs with petals falling all around them and finally his serene smile and gracious acceptance as he promises to stay away from his friend forever if Jingyi's own feelings made him uncomfortable.
It was supposed to happen in a controlled environment, which was perhaps the only thing in Jingyi’s life that was so well-planned and thought-out he questioned if he really had been possessed.
Trust in the universe, to prove to him how unLan to ever Lan he was by ruining his preparations and getting ahead of himself by just word-vomiting.
He had fucked up and it would be hard not to stumble and dig an even deeper hole from his unexpected confession.
In fact, if it was anyone else, their mind would have short-circuited and rendered them embarrassed and speechless but Jingyi’s mind had always been a special case.
Through years of experience, Lan Jingyi had gotten better at getting himself out of his own sticky situations.
This time would not be an exemption.
Fortunately, only a few seconds had passed with Lan Jingyi bemoaning his fate while his inner demons were already digging his grave happily and almost like a reflex his mind goes into overdrive and thinks of a way to salvage his friendship.
His mind, thankfully, provides.
“You’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for.” is in Jingyi’s opinion the best follow-up to any accidental confession. When the word's leave his mouth, Jingyi seriously considers if he should've just gone and bashed his head on with a sword.
With the way Sizhui was smiling at him softly, free from the shock and worry from earlier's confession, Jingyi can't bear the piercing stab of a thousand needles in his heart, telling him that Sizhui was okay with them being friends but not as anything more.
Jingyi did not know whether he should laugh or cry. Inner Jingyi was already crying at the revelation but Jingyi needed to remain impassive. He stops himself from gripping his robes too tightly, lest Sizhui notices but instead tries his best to show his best friend his usual grin.
"You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for as well, Jingyi."
If Jingyi's heart was previously pierced by Sizhui's expression, his admittance at Jingyi being only seen as a best friend made him feel as if someone had taken it out, and let it to boil only to be feasted upon later.
Jingyi reconsiders his own crafted plans of confession, as he realizes that he may not have been able to handle the pain of rejection disguised as sweet words of reassurance.
Already, his knees are beginning to feel weak.
Jingyi clings to Sizhui for support, hugging Sizhui close to him and feeling the rhythm of their hearts with each other.
Jingyi speaks, his voice hoarse as he attempts not to cry, “Sorry for worrying you Sizhui, but I’m so glad your safe.”
Sizhui, his bestfriend and not lover, hugs him back.
“Be careful next time, Jingyi.” Sizhui holds his face in his hand and smiles as warmly as a sunbeam, which is blinding especially in the night.
Jingyi loves him far too much.
“I will.”
I love you.
“I love you too.”
Jingyi's heart catches up to his throat at Sizhui's words. His eyes widen as his hope soars but seeing Sizhui's own serene smile Jingyi instantly knows.
The man only means it as a friend. Just like Jingyi had made it to mean.
His heart falls, and the heavy feeling in his chest is back.
I love you more.
Jingyi can't bear looking at Sizhui's easy admission of his love for him as a friend. He has taken advantage of it tonight and the noble thing to do is to stop. He wants more than his love as a friend but for Sizhui he is willing to let his emotions lie, deep in the caverns of his own mind despite everything in Jingyi's emotions bursting out and being free.
His love cries for help, like a lost child to it's mother, but Jingyi ignores it. He rests his face on Sizhui’s shoulders, breathing him in and comforting himself. Eventually the words are muddled until Sizhui's entire presence calms the turbulent void of his emotions and silences his love.
He had managed, barely, to salvage his friendship, but at what cost.
After the accidental confession incident, Jingyi classifies himself as an idiot. But because he has managed to escape the eventual falling out that comes from actual confessions in between friends, he upgrades his classification and calls himself an inspired idiot.
He’s so inspired that as he wakes up on auspicious day, he sees the opportunity for what his past self has done for his future pining self.
Where previously those words that he had wanted to say to Sizhui was locked deeply in his heart just threatening to burst out in any moment, now he didnt have to worry because he had already said them.
Jingyi may have trapped his "I love you's" in his heart that fateful night, but what mother could resist a child which he has nurtured until it was fully grown.
So Jingyi keeps saying “I love you” to Sizhui.
And his love, like a child, continues to dance freely in the Cloud Recesses’ own grounds.
He says it when he sees Sizhui flushed from night hunting, “Sizhui, I love you so much for protecting me. You’re really the best friend anyone could ever ask for.”
He says it when Sizhui helps him copy the rules in the library “Sizhui, Have I told you I love you today.”
He says it when they’re down in Caiyi and Sizhui offers to treat him “Sizhui, Thank you for this, I love you so much hehehe.”
He says it when they’re training and they’re flushed with sweat “Sizhui, how are you so powerful, I love you, you’re the best.
Jingyi says it in a manner of ways and numerous times whenever they’re together that the pain that he feels thinking about Sizhui never knowing he loves him as more than friend, eases just a little bit.
For all the drawbacks of his love being seen as platonic, Jingyi sees it for the blessing that it is.
He can stay by Sizhui’s side and act affectionately without being suspected and the freedom he feels is one of a dove being let out of it’s cage, free to fly and free to return as well.
Though he may never dual-cultivate with Sizhui, it’s enough for him to stay by his side, even if its just as a friend.
Jingyi's happy.
Isn't he?
Never let it be said that Lan Jingyi will not go above and beyond for the sake of his continued friendship with Sizhui.
From the moment he decided to bask in Sizhui’s own tolerance for being told I love you repeatedly from his friend, albeit platonically, Jingyi needed to find a scapegoat.
A way to absolve him of accusations so that his words could not garner suspicion. Although Jingyi had a reputation for being loud, it was hard to believe that a member of the Gusu Lan Sect would be so expressive and excessive in showing their appreciation in a way that Jingyi was doing with Sizhui.
Even Jingyi had his reservations with how he was acting like Senior Wei, but this was all so Sizhui would not be implicated as well. He had heard Hangguang-Jun's stories of other people's slander at him for merely being tolerant of Senior Wei's wild ways and he didn't want Sizhui to experience the same scrutiny.
Fortunately, as a frequent and reluctant rule breaker (Jingyi can’t help it) Lan Jingyi knew just which rules could help him hide his intentions.
Rule 13 Love and Respect all Beings
Rule 41 Have Affection and Gratefulness and
Rule 52 Appreciate the Good People
Jingyi can't help but think that despite his mishaps on that fateful night, the gods above must've been watching him as the people that surrounds him are ones that have known him since childhood, which makes it easier for Jingyi to enact his plan.
The first time Jingyi says I love you enthusiastically to someone other than Sizhui, the Lan cook is bewildered.
In all the years of the cook staying at Gusu Lan, he has only gotten words of thanks for the meal but never anything deeper. Seeing one enthusiastic Lan tell him he loves the food that he creates manages to revive his dead heart that he didn't know was dead in the first place.
"I love you and your cooking Senior Xu!"
The cook can't help it, Lan Jingyi's words of praise fills him with happiness and though the man in front of him is fully grown he pats the child's head, for he doesn't know how to reply to anything else.
As the cook pats Jingyi's head, his thoughts return to a time where a young Jingyi had clutched at his robes asking for something other than bland food and how insulted he was. He had chased Jingyi out from the kitchen but the child had come back the next day and apologized, telling the cook he was ready to accept a beating. He never did punish Jingyi, but the child had helped every once in a while, if only to spice his meals. Senior Xu pretended he didn't see. Jingyi reminded him of his own young self, and though he never had a son, he considered Jingyi as one of his.
Jingyi's beaming smile is enough of a bribe for Senior Xu to make the meal that night taste slightly better for everyone.
"Sizhui, have my share, Senior Xu allowed me to use some of the spices. Here." Jingyi exchanged their own bowls not letting Sizhui protest. Sizhui goes along with it, just to make Jingyi quiet down before one of the seniors administer a punishment for being too loud.
Once the vegetables given by Lan Jingyi enters Lan Sizhui's mouth, Sizhui himself cant help but smile. They're the most delicious thing he ever had the pleasure to eat.
And if Jingyi's own presence is the catalyst for the outpouring of love he has for the food, it will be Sizhui's own secret to keep.
Auntie Hua is a bright and boisterous woman, who among the Lan relations is the only one to hold an unironic love for the ever-spirited Jingyi. Auntie Hua had always mentioned in passing that maybe Jingyi was originally her child which explained why he wasn't as impassive as how the other Lan's looked and Jingyi would laughingly agree as well.
In a sense, with the way the woman had taken care of them ever since their first errands out in Caiyi, Jingyi had secured himself his own personal vendor or maybe it was the other way around. In any case, Jingyi was able to get the best prices for the freshest of vegetables all the while he got freebies.
So when his Love the World Agenda came into place, it was only a matter of time before Jingyi showed her some appreciation too.
Jingyi definitely did not count on making Auntie Hua cry.
He looks towards Sizhui helplessly as he asks him how he can fix this and for once Sizhui's is clueless at what to do. It was always Jingyi who had more interactions with her so the older Lan knew better to interfere.
"Auntie Hua! Why are you crying? I just told you I love you because I realized how much you and your vegetables mean to me."
At his comment, the old vendor couldn't help but laugh. She slaps Jingyi jokingly saying "I swear this child." lovingly and Jingyi breathes an immediate sigh of relief when the people start to turn away from the scene. He laughs along with her and Auntie Hua pulls Jingyi close to an embrace.
"When are you going to marry that handsome man huh?"
Aunt Hua points to Sizhui who was as red as her freshest tomato while Jingyi tries to save himself from choking on his own spit.
"Aunt Hua, we're just friends ah. How can you say this. Now we're both embarrassed."
The old lady huffs, "You can't fool me Lan Jingyi. I'm practically one of your mothers already. Don't think I'm blind to how the two of you stare at each other."
Jingyi hushes the old woman immediately. His eyes meet Sizhui's and seeing his friend not blushing like before reassures him that perhaps Sizhui had not heard Aunt Hua's own remarks. He almost decides to take his I love you back at the embarrassment he was being forced to endure but with Aunt Hua patting his already tousled hair he decides to say "I love you" again to the most wonderful woman in Caiyi
On their way to Gusu Lan Sect, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi each carry a bag of vegetables.
As they climb their way to the mountain, he sees Sizhui gasp every other steps. It is only then that Jingyi remembers that although his bag was full of herbs and stems, Sizhui's bag had more heavier fruits inside of them.
Though Jingyi knows Sizhui doesn't need the help since he did not ask for help, he still offers to hold Sizhui's own share. Sizhui merely graces him with a "Do you want me to hold yours, as well." and flex his own biceps for Jingyi to close his mouth before drool gets all over the stone steps they were climbing.
When they're nearer to the gates and his mind no longer in the gutter, Jingyi proposes to exchange bags just until they reach the kitchen so Sizhui can rest.
Sizhui allows it, if only to see Jingyi's eyes crinkle as he becomes proud at his own antics.
Pretending that he didn't have his qiankun pouch in this moment is ranked among the greatest things Lan Sizhui has done in his life, if only because he could admire the Lan Jingyi's physique unabashedly.
Of all the people Jingyi had planned to involve with his Love the World Agenda, Zewu-Jun was not among those people.
One look from Zewu-Jun eyes, is more than enough for the man to know why Jingyi was saying I love you to practically everyone he knew from childhood and another look from the man would surely be none other than the guilt-tripping disappointment at Jingyi's actions of not facing his own feelings.
Now with Zewu-Jun towering over him, as he hugs and says "I love you" to the little Lans that surround him, Jingyi can't help but say "Fuck" under his breath.
Sizhui, holding one of the younger Lans in his arms, instantly turns to Jingyi as he hears the curse then looks towards Zewu-Jun awaiting his friend's punishment.
"Jingyi, I need to talk to you."
There it was.
Jingyi lets go of the little gremlins who moments ago were clinging unto him and resounding cute awws that comes from the loss of the human tree trunk named Jingyi makes Jingyi's heart melt. For a moment, he forgets about his impending doom at the hands of Zewu-Jun but Zewu-Jun once again calling his name pulls him back into reality.
He needs to think about what to say quickly.
The two of them walk a little bit farther away from the day care, leaving Lan Jingyi's sweet scenery of Sizhui with children behind but each step is painful for Jingyi as the silence stretches and Zewu-Jun does not speak.
It's making Jingyi more antsy.
"I've been hearing some strange rumours, Jingyi."
"Zewu-Jun it's not what you think!"
Zewu-Jun laughs, hiding his face behind his robes. "I haven't even said anything yet."
"Is this about my behavior?"
"Oh, what makes you think that?" Zewu-Jun's eyes are glinting with mischievous intent. Jingyi knows not to make things more complicated otherwise, he'll be caught in his own web of excuses.
"I mean aren't the other disciples talking about how frivolous I am with my words?"
"Oh shidi.. you saying I love you to almost everyone you know is an obvious ploy on your side to make Sizhui not notice your love for him."
"I-"
What else can Jingyi do but stutter a non-reply at Zewu-Jun's own words. Zewu-Jun is absolutely right and has deduced Jingyi's intention even with him just hearing it from the grapevine. To be honest, Jingyi feels as attacked and exposed by this man, who he viewed as his father and brother figure.
"I'm more disappointed that you haven't said the words to me you know."
Lan Jingyi's eyes brighten. Zewu-Jun beams at him.
Oh. So that's what it was.
Jingyi turns towards Zewu-Jun and the man has his arms open wide, ready for Jingyi to slot himself perfectly into.
"I love you, Huan-shixiong"
"I love you too, shidi."
When Jingyi returns to Sizhui side, he has a spring to his step and Sizhui comments on his good friend's mood.
"I assume you didn't get punished for cursing," Lan Sizhui says.
Jingyi shakes his head. "Zewu-Jun was just feeling a little bit lonely."
Sizhui chuckles, it was certainly not unusual for the man.
"I'm a bit lonely too, you know." Jingyi says as he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at Sizhui.
Platonically.
Sizhui laughs a little bit longer this time, expecting another one of Jingyi's clownish antics before he decides to interlocks his arms together with Jingyi to make sure the man doesn't move too much and get them into trouble.
Jingyi stops in his tracks and stares directly into Sizhui's eyes which is only a few inches away from his own.
Jingyi thinks, he's allowed at least one cheat-day where he can touch Sizhui to his heart's content.
Today is that day.
Jingyi pulls Sizhui closer to him using their interlocked arms and the two struggle to maintain their balance at Jingyi's antics.
They laugh even harder as they eventually fall on the floor, bodies close and thoughts carefree.
All the other junior disciples surrounding them are tactful enough not to comment on their senior's behaviour.
Jingyi continues his Love the World Agenda. If he mentions his love for Sizhui every chance he gets, Jingyi works the double the time for others.
He uses their perceptions of him to maximize his chances of not arousing Sizhui’s suspicions on his actual feelings and he learns to suppress his body from acting out on his feelings, except during his treasured cheat days. which he eagerly awaits.
All things considered, Jingyi is doing well.
Nothing could possibly go wrong
The problem with Lan Jingyi is, he didn't know he was beautiful.
Many did not know as well, but what their mind can't supply their body's can.
Lan Jingyi's lively personality is among the first thing that will assault other people's senses and everything else falls second place. He is as intense as the summer sun, that his energy is almost blinding. It was part of the reason why people didn't see Jingyi having the peerless beauty of the Lan, his personality was what draws you in first. And Lan Sizhui almost laughs because if it was Lan Jingyi, he can definitely make someone love him at first sight with his personality.
It wasn't hard for Sizhui to notice, he has been by Jingyi's side ever since they were children. At one point, Jingyi had asked him how he was so beautiful that people usually complimented him to their faces but Sizhui himself could not understand why Jingyi, who was always next to hi, did not have the same treatment.
As per his father's teaching, when there was something that he did not understand, he observed.
It was definitely not an excuse to lovingly gaze at Jingyi.
Sizhui observed because he wanted to know, how can people look at Sizhui and not notice that Jingyi was far more beautiful.
Once Sizhui saw the reason, a dawning clarity descended.
The way the people move their bodies just a little bit towards Jingyi once they're involved in a conversation with him.
The way they unconsciously touch Jingyi without both person knowing as Jingyi has at this point started bickering with whoever it was he was talking with.
The way they're eyes glide over the entirety of JIngyi's person before deciding that this Lan was different.
Their final thoughts on Jingyi would usually be loud, boisterous or the like, so it never dawned on others that Jingyi was a beauty that would stop flowers from blooming into his presence.
Most days, Sizhui can't help but keep his awe in check.
Sizhui would be lying if Jingyi's popularity only grew once he started voicing out his appreciation for others in words of "I love you's". It was against Lan rules to speak words carelessly but with how Jingyi was selective in giving out these words he was sure that Jingyi was deliberately using it to people that he cared about.
Sizhui didn't need to disclose how much he wanted Jingyi to say those words only to him.
As a matter of fact Sizhui wouldn't deny how his heart ached just a liitle bit at being just among the many others, who Jingyi had known from childhood and was therefore treasured with "I love yous", but Sizhui knew he couldn't be selfish. JIngyi was free to love who he wanted to. If Sizhui was not worthy of his romantic affections, then at least he was worthy of Sizhui's friendship.
And that was enough.
"The fuck you going on about?" Jin Ling's voice is loud, and Jingyi would be lying if he said he didn't want to shut his friend's filthy mouth by clamping his hand over it.
"What part of I'm content being his friend do you not understand" Jingyi growls. After Jin Ling had confided in him about his burgeoning love for Ouyan Zizhen, the two had weekly meet-ups to discuss their predicament. Jin Ling, the traitor, finally decided he was done with all the drama and confessed to Ouyang Zizhen, whom Jingyi had heard, cried at having his love for Jin Ling being requited.
Jingyi held his hands together in prayer for Ouyang Zizhen, because the little mistress was going to devour that pure boy.
"Are you somehow taking notes from my idiot of a lover, because I swear that kind of thinking is what got us into this stupid pining mess in the first place."
"What?! I'm not pining! Who said I was pining?!"
Jin Ling's accusatory glare is enough for Jingyi to shut his mouth and try to argue in a different angle. Before he can argue, Jin Ling imparts him with his own words of wisdom. Clamping Jingyi's mouth shut, "Look here, idiot. You said you're worthy of his friendship but aren't worthy as his lover. Can't you hear how idiotic those words are, being friends and lovers are not mutually exclusive you know."
"That's not true!" Jingyi says struggling to break free from Jin Ling's grasp but he once he does he begins to ramble so Jin Ling can finally see his point and let him rant in peace. "Being Sizhui's friends needs no particular traits. Sizhui is kind enough to befriend anyone and anyone who isn't willing to be his friend doesn't exist. Being Sizhui's lover however, certain traits are to be expected."
"Should I even ask what they -"
"- As the future sect leader Sizhui's wife needs to be virtuous, pure, loyal, kind , sincere, affectionate, dignified but knows how to have fun, -"
As Jingyi lists his requirements, Jin Ling's eyes grew wider and wider. Not because Jingyi was listing a lengthy requirement that can rival his own uncle's but because he knew a person who Jingyi was describing.
"Aren't you just describing yourself?"
Jingyi who was in the middle of describing the perfect wife that he could accept for Sizhui, coughs when he hears Jin Ling's words.
"What!"
"How could you not hear yourself, you stupid Lan!"
"I mentioned dignified!"
"And two years have passed since Senior Wei came back and enough time has passed for the rules to be integrated into your head. The only time you act all clumsy is when you're completely relaxed and guess where it happens?!"
Jin Ling became irritated. Lan Jingyi had the audacity to pause and think about it!
"Not in front of outsiders idiot! The last time I heard someone call you as undignified was when we were still school mates, how can you be so clueless! Don't tell me you still think in your empty head that you're still undignified as a Lan?"
Jin Ling slaps Jingyi with a paper fan, frustration evident in his face. Lan Jingyi wondered where the fan and all the extra bottles that were lining their table came from. He was sure he only ordered tea.
Jin Ling however continues to rant, "Oh right, you mentioned pure. One of your redeeming qualities I bet, from the way you're so fucking clueless."
"Im not..." Jingyi protests but it fell on deaf ears.
Leave it to Jin Ling to compliment and insult Jingyi at the same sentence.
Jingyi drinks one of the cups laid out before him, feeling attacked when he just came here to have a good time. At the same time Jin Ling's eyes widen and flashes with murder.
"Please tell me, you didn't drink my wine."
The taste in Jingyi's mouth is not the sweetness that is usually associated with tea but something fruity. Jin Ling doesn't see how much his glare rivals that of his uncle and Jingyi gulps feeling fear rise in him. The wine in his throat is oh so sweet.
"I didnt?"
Thud.
"Fuck!"
"Im sorry for this Sizhui. The idiot drank my cup accidentally."
Lan Jingyi clings to Jin Ling, his face nuzzling his friends face. Jin Ling looks at his friends face in disgust but turns to Sizhui with an apologetic face.
"Jin Ling!" Lan Jingyi, the idiot, is now crying, "You're such a good friend, I love you." Jingyi uses his upper robes to wipe his snot and Jin Ling can't help but let Jingyi go in disgust.
Sizhui is there to catch him.
Sizhui will always there to catch him.
His hold on Jingyi just a little more tighter than average, but he can pinpoint his own feelings of possessiveness and dismiss it as irrational.
Jingyi is now screaming his I love you's in between his sobs as he screams at Jin Ling and Sizhui's saint-like patience to put Jingyi over his shoulder's like a ruck-sack and go back home is being tested.
"Please just take him away." Jin Ling pleads, his hands rubbing his head in frustration.
Sizhui smiles at him, understanding how hard Jingyi was to deal with whenever he got drunk.
"Thank you for calling me," Sizhui says appreciatively.
"Who else was I supposed to call?" Jin Ling glares as he stepped on his sword and prepared to fly. He mumbles "I swear to God these idiot lovers " which Sizhui, fortunately, did not hear.
Jingyi is still shouting "I love you's" and Sizhui is still trying his best to calm his best-friend. Jin Ling didn't want to see any more and had flown out.
"Jingyi." Sizhui puts their heads together, trying to knock some sense to his drunk friend. Sizhui is carrying Jingyi in his arms with Jingyi's hand over his shoulders and its easier for both of them to stare into each other's eyes.
"Sizhui, Is that you?" Jingyi eyes are half-lidded, his smile loopy. He looks utterly ridiculous but Sizhui can't help but be endeared to him.
"Yes, its me." Sizhui smiles back, foreheads still close and breaths intermingling.
"You're so beautiful. How are you so beautiful." Jingyi once again starts crying and Sizhui doesn't know where to put his arms so he can wipe Jingyi's tears away.
"Jingyi, I hate seeing you cry. Please don't cry." Sizhui says it softly, through first-hand experience a more sterner voice may just make Jingyi more miserable.
"I know." Jingyi sniffs, trying to prevent his tears and his snot from falling.
"I'm going to stop." Jingyi says, with as much determination as a drunk man could manage which is to say, a lot. Jingyi manages to loosen his hands off Sizhui's shoulders and Sizhui is worried that Jingyi might fall from how he's moving about so Sizhui shifts his hold on Jingyi and pulls the man closer to his chest.
Jingyi just grins, relishing in the warmth and scoots even closer than what was physically possible. Unaware of Sizhui struggling, Jingyi also makes a wide gesture using his hands, and giggles conspiratorially. He shouts the next words however defeating his initial purpose, "Sizhui I'd do anything for you! Anything and Everything!"
"Oh, is that so?"
Jingyi nods his head.
Sizhui apologizes to Jingyi in his mind for taking advantage of his drunk friend's truthfulness but he needs closure from all the mixed emotions JIngyi is making him feel.
"Would you also go as far for the other people you have said "I love you" to?"
Jingyi replies with a loud "No."
"Not even, Zewu-Jun?"
Jingyi answers by shaking his head.
"Hmm, Auntie Hua?" Another shake, "Senior Xu?" Another shake, "Ouyang Zizhen?" Another shake. "How about Jin Ling?" Jingyi shakes his head more furiously this time.
Jingyi moves his head so that their foreheads are once more touching and his pout is cute enough for Sizhui to stumble on his steps.
Jingyi however doesn't notice, safe in Sizhui's hold.
"Only you, Sizhui." he says with as much sincerity as a drunk person could muster.
Sizhui knows Jingyi will not remember his words in the morning, but it serves as reassurance to Sizhui's own agitated heart that at the very least he holds a special place in Jingyi's own heart. Supposedly, drunk people do not lie but Lan Sizhui does not need the reassurance of the age old wisdom. Lan Jingyi has always been truthful, albeit he was secretive and Lan Sizhui never had the heart to push his friend into experiencing discomfort.
Still, Sizhui dare not hope.
Not yet.
Though his mind does not yet accept the possibility, his heart stays true and sings in joy; Sizhui finally replies with all the emotions he could muster and says "I'm glad that I'm the only one for you."
Chests close and their hearts beating in tune, Sizhui can happily start planning on how he can ask Zewu-Jun's adopted son's hand in marriage.