Work Text:
“Luna, what in the world are you doing?”
“Oh! Hello, Ginny. I’m spraying for nargles. They hide in mistletoe, you know.”
“But… it’s turning it purple.”
“Better purple than nargle-infested!” Luna said, a brilliant smile upon her face. She was clearly proud of her work defending the castle from the invisible, most-likely-fictitious nargles that were supposedly hiding in the mistletoe hung all over Hogwarts, one of a myriad of holiday decorations placed around the castle in the spirit of the season.
“I don’t think everyone else is going to see it that way,” Ginny told her friend.
“Oh, I think they will. Nargle infestations are no joke.” Luna’s expression had become serious. “The infestation at the Ministry in 1823 even spread to the other plant-based decorations, which caused the building to be evacuated. They couldn’t return until the nargles were exterminated, a process which lasted for multiple days and caused the death of seven of the krups that used to guard the Ministry.”
“Krups used to guard the Ministry?” Ginny repeated, then immediately regretted her curiosity as Luna began a very long lecture on ways that the Ministry had been guarded throughout the centuries, involving things that Ginny was pretty sure did not exist.
*******
Meanwhile, in the staff room, a very different discussion about the mistletoe was happening.
“Well, looks like the mistletoe has turned purple once again,” Sprout opened.
“We can’t just keep switching it back,” McGonagall said with a sigh.
“Perhaps an anti-alteration charm?” Professor Vector suggested.
Flitwick shook his head. “We tried that last time, remember?”
“This is utterly ridiculous,” Snape growled. “There shouldn’t even be mistletoe in the first place!”
“Now, now, what’s the harm with a little bit of love in the air?” Slughorn contested jovially.
“They’re children!” McGonagall chided.
“And what better time to learn about love? Besides, some are of age already.”
“Yet others are eleven. At the very least, as I have suggested previously, remove the charms forcing those under it to partake.”
“Whereas I agree the kissing charms should be removed, is it really so bad the mistletoe itself is there?” Flitwick contested. “Let those do it who want to do it. They’re teens, not toddlers. They’ll be kissing each other anyway, let’s be realistic.”
“It still should not be encouraged,” Snape growled.
“What I find appalling is that color!” Trelawney said, as dramatically as she possibly could. “Purple leaves are an omen of Death! This castle will be plagued with such!”
“Now, now, Sybill, no need to get into a tizzy,” Dumbledore said calmly.
“But, Death!”
“I’m sure it is simply a student playing a prank. A simple reversal spell ought to fix it.”
“Perhaps we ought to put it to a vote whether to remove only the charm and color or remove the whole mistletoe?” Sprout suggested, in an attempt to steer the conversation back on track.
*******
“Ginny! Emergency!” Luna ran over to her friend, hair frazzled and a very worried expression upon her face, the other Gryffindors in the Gryffindor common room staring at the Ravenclaw girl in confusion.
“What’s wrong, Luna?” Ginny stood up, extremely concerned. It wasn’t like Luna to become so disarrayed.
“Someone removed the nargle spray from the mistletoe!”
Ginny stared at her friend, absorbing the information as the others around the common room giggled. She was unsure how to react. Whereas she was certain it wasn’t an issue, her friend was clearly upset about it. “Er. Are you sure?”
“Yes! We must re-apply the spray at once! Harry, you help too!”
Harry looked up from his potions book, which he had been completely absorbed in. “Er. Help with what? Hold on… Luna, how did you get in here?”
“Help spray the mistletoe for nargles, silly,” Luna said with incredulity, as though it were such an obvious thing that Harry not knowing was utterly befuddling. She ignored the other question.
“Er. I’m a bit busy right now.”
Ginny rolled her eyes. “Sure you are. Come on, Luna, I’ll help you, I suppose.”
“But Harry needs to too,” Luna lamented.
“Fine,” Harry sighed, closing his book and slipping it in his bag. He could already tell it wasn’t worth arguing; the Prince could wait.
*******
“Albus! Emergency!” Came a wail, as someone crashed into Dumbledore’s office and collapsed on the floor.
“What’s wrong, Sybill?” Dumbledore stood up, with a shrewd eye on Trelawney and a worried frown.
“The Death omen! It has returned!”
“Which one?” Dumbledore calmed a little, clearly used to the woman’s antics. There rarely was cause for concern with her omens and predictions, at least when it came to those she remembered.
“The purple mistletoe! I told you, it signifies Death! It is not merely a prank being played!”
A knock sounded on the ancient door.
“Come in,” Dumbledore called.
In walked McGonagall, two girls following, one looking down guilty and the other dreamily staring into space, unworried. Behind them followed an annoyed-looking boy.
“Ah, Minerva, nice to see you,” Dumbledore greeted. “Might I ask why you are accompanied by Miss Weasley, Mister Potter, and Miss Lovegood?”
McGonagall got straight to the point. “These are the ones who have been turning the mistletoe purple; I caught them in the act.”
Dumbledore turned to Trelawney, and with a smile said, “See, Sybill? It was a prank, not an omen of Death.”
Trelawney stood up, face flushed. “Er. Yes, so it seems… Well, I’ll just be on my way now…” She left the office sheepishly.
“Now, why would you three play such a prank?” Dumbledore asked. “Harry, will you explain?”
Harry had his arms crossed and was tapping his foot. “We were spraying for nargles, apparently.”
The elderly wizard raised an eyebrow. “Nargles, you say?”
Mcgonagall scoffed. “Honestly, Potter, do you expect us to believe that?”
Luna answered this time, a determined expression on her face. “Nargles are a very real issue! If we don’t take early steps to prevent them, we’ll end up with a severe infestation!”
“And you need to turn the mistletoe purple to prevent them?” Dumbledore asked calmly.
Ginny sighed. “No, that’s a side-effect of the prevention spray.”
“Look, professors,” Harry chimed in, slightly calmer now. “We tried telling Luna it was unnecessary, but she can be, er, quite adamant about things like this. We apologize for the disruption it caused, and we won’t do it again.”
“But of course we will,” Luna insisted, looking at Harry in amazement. “You can’t have mistletoe and not spray for nargles!”
Dumbledore sighed. “Miss Lovegood--”
“Why don’t we remove the mistletoe then?” McGonagall suggested. “Like I’ve said before, it’s not the best decoration for a school…”
Luna nodded her head aggressively with excitement. “Yes, that is a wonderful idea! Certainly the best way to prevent nargles.”
Dumbledore nodded in resignation, recognizing that Luna’s plight against the nargles wouldn’t be stopped unless such drastic methods were taken. “Yes, I suppose that would be best here. Now, there’s the issue of how you three will be punished...”
*******
“Ugh, how much mistletoe is there in this castle?” Harry groaned, climbing the ladder to pluck another sprig off the ceiling.
“Three-hundred and ninety-four pieces,” Luna replied dutifully. “We have removed seventy-six so far. Thankfully, none have had nargles, thanks to the spray.”
“Yes, it was definitely the spray,” Ginny muttered, climbing another ladder. She sighed and spoke louder. “I can’t believe we have to remove all of these without magic…”
Harry shrugged. “It’s not the worst punishment,” he reasoned. “Fred and George got plenty worse for some of their pranks.”
“But this wasn’t a prank,” Luna reminded Harry.
“Well, yeah, but that’s not what most think.”
“Just because others think differently doesn’t change the truth.”
Ginny nodded. “She has a point, Harry. You should be familiar with that concept.”
Harry groaned. “Ugh, don’t remind me. Well, truth or not, at least the castle is nargle-free, right?”
Luna beamed. “Yes! Perfectly nargle-free! Now we just need to treat the wreaths for plimbigiggles.”
“We do?” Harry and Ginny said simultaneously, then looked at each other with worry.
Luna nodded. “Yes, we do.”
“Will it turn them purple again?” Harry asked warily. He didn’t fancy more detention, even if it were milder than he’d had in the past.
“Hmm. No, I don’t think so. Might develop red polka-dots though.”
Harry and Ginny sighed, fully prepared to repeat this entire adventure, complete with detention. After all, when Luna set her mind to something, there was little chance of stopping her!