Chapter Text
“Virgil! Virgil, look!”
Virgil feels Logan yank him closer to another display, his hand warm around his. Logan had really been chatty all day, but what did Virgil expect? It’s their sophomore year field trip to Kennedy Space Center and even though Logan’s been here a million and a half times, he still acts as if it’s his first time. Virgil doesn’t mind too much, any day away from the monotony of high school is worth it. Add in the fact he gets to spend all day, barely supervised with Logan, and it’s a winning combination.
He looks up slightly at Logan whose face is practically glowing as he explains the rear portion of Atlantis. His free hand is pointing excitedly at the parts he’s mentioning. Most people would find Logan’s ramblings tedious and annoying. And to be honest, sometimes, Virgil feels that way. But today, it’s endearing and the joy in his face is beyond attractive.
Virgil looks back to whatever Logan’s pointing at before scanning around the large room. Most of their classmates had dispersed, some preferring to sit at the outside lunch tables and keep to their friend groups. Others, however, using the freedom to get closer to their boyfriends. Virgil’s eyes hone in on a friend from art class who’s kissing her boytoy of the week so hard, Virgil’d be surprised if her tongue isn’t all the way down his throat.
Virgil moves his eyes from them to a couple of teachers who instead of monitoring their classmates reenacting a porno have decided to watch him and Logan. Their eyes thin, almost looking for either one of them to make a wrong decision even though they are—and have been—doing exactly what is expected of them. Their obvious allegiance to Logan’s foster parents is clouding their judgement. It makes Virgil angry; it always has, but now the anger’s uncontrollable.
Logan’s gotten an unwarranted reputation because of the lies his previous foster parents told. They told any adult who would listen that Logan was selfish, conniving, an emotionless robot, that he was ungrateful for all the things he was given and was a full-on sociopath. Given that the Parkers own the town’s only coffee shop and Mr. Albertson is the only judge in town, there was no combating it. By the time Logan was 10 the entire town had made their mind up. It’s a miracle that the Sanders wanted anything to do with Logan, considering all the rumors.
It’s just so colossally unfair. Teachers, shop owners, people on the street, hell even Virgil’s own parents, treat Logan like he’s a social pariah despite him doing absolutely nothing to warrant it. And Virgil hates it…no, he hates them. All the followers, the adults who would rather judge a child before getting to know him. Who continue to judge him even though he mostly keeps to himself and does what any parent would expect of their child.
“Do not pay them any attention.”
Virgil looks at Logan who shrugs.
“It is nothing new and there is very little we can do to change their minds,” Logan says his voice and face offering a true indifference.
Virgil supposes he’s that way because he’s been living with it for so long but it just gets under Virgil’s skin. “I know but it pisses me off,” he grumbles unintentionally squeezing Logan’s hand tighter, “You’re the best person in our whole damn town and they…”
Virgil’s silenced by the brief pressing of Logan’s lips against his. Normally, he’d push Logan away. He doesn’t do public displays of affection, but he can’t deny he likes the feeling of kissing Logan. Plus, he knows it’ll piss off at least one of those teachers…give them something to actually stare at. Logan pulls back but Virgil grabs his tie and yanks him back in. Their mouths melt together, Logan offering no resistance to more kissing, moving an arm to wrap around Virgil’s waist, smashing his hoodie into his back.
“Mr. Powers, Mr. Sanders that’s enough!”
Virgil and Logan are yanked apart, by Mr. Patterson, the principal. His face contorted in a deep anger; his lips pursed together so tightly his top lip practically disappears in his Dr. Phil-esque mustache. He looms over them, being nearly 6’5 and just as built as Virgil’s dad. Mr. Patterson roughly yanks Logan’s shoulder.
“I should’ve known you’d be a problem,” he spits.
“Mr. Patterson, kissing is not breaking a school rule,” Logan says, Virgil huffing and crossing his arms defensively in front of his chest.
“Yes, well, that may be true, but any student displaying inappropriate actions…”
Virgil tunes the principal out. He doesn’t want to listen to the man’s lies. Glancing around he sees Malik, the football team’s quarterback, and Reina, the head cheerleader, going at it like they are in a porno. Inappropriate behavior his ass. They aren’t being yelled at and they’re nearly humping each other. He and Logan are being yelled at because Logan is involved...
“—should call your irresponsible pare—”
“Why aren’t you stopping those two?” Virgil interjects pointing at Malik in the corner of a display, “They’re practically fucking.”
Mr. Patterson glances over at them before back at Virgil, “Well, Mr. Powers they are being teenagers…”
“They’re doing the same thing we were!” Virgil defends exasperatedly, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Watch your tone, Mr. Powers. And no, you are not the same. You two are…homosexuals…and cannot be doing that in front of the public. There are children here,” Mr. Patterson retorts looking back and forth between them, “We don’t need to corrupt the innocent.”
Virgil rolls his eyes but stays quiet, lacing his fingers through Logan’s. It’s official. He hates every adult in their town. Bunch of homophobic jerks…
“Did you not hear me, Mr. Powers?”
Virgil feels Mr. Patterson yank their hands apart.
“None of the homosexual stuff or I’m calling your parents to pick you up.”
“Go ahead and try,” Virgil spits his anger just boiling over. The small mindedness of all of it is just too much. It’s like every adult in their town is against them. “They—”
“Virgil, stop,” Logan whispers, shaking his head gently, "Please."
“Yes, Mr. Powers, I suggest listening to Mr. Sanders. You two keep a respectable distance the rest of this field trip or I’m calling your parents to come and get you.”
Logan nods, Virgil refusing to make eye contact. Mr. Patterson walks away, Virgil noticing the group of teachers looking beyond proud. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t let him call my parents. Not like they’d come get me,” Virgil grumbles. If looks could kill, those teachers would be dead three times over by now.
“Because my papa forged your father’s signature on your permission slip,” Logan whispers as he begins leading Virgil to another area, “Do you not remember?”
“Yeah but what does that matter?”
Logan continues walking, the joy he’d displayed earlier all but gone from his face. They continue down the descending hallway, Logan not saying anything before finally stopping in the remembrance area. The somber music surrounds them, Logan taking Virgil’s hand and leading him to the darkened area where remains of the destroyed shuttles are on display. It’s tucked in a corner, relatively secluded so there’s no one around, not even other visitors. They're safer to be themselves here.
“Your parents have not given you permission to be here. If Mr. Patterson finds that out, my papa will be in trouble. Forgery is a crime…and you know who the judge is. Papa will not get leniency,” Logan explains calmly, “Plus, if the school finds out you’re living with us…they might try to force you back into cohabitation with your parents.”
Virgil feels uncomfortably selfish. How could he not have thought of the Sanders, after everything they’ve given to him? He shakes his head. “Fuck, I’m sorry, L. I-I didn’t even think of that.”
“It is alright. I did not expect you to,” Logan replies with a slight shrug, “You are going through emotional turmoil that is only exacerbated by your anxiety and mistreatment of me and my family. It is understandable. You have not been yourself since you came out…”
Virgil takes a breath and quickly looks around the room. No ones around so he pushes himself against Logan, hugging him. Logan’s right, he’s been struggling to find his center or any calm since he came out. Everything makes him angry or exacerbates his already high anxiety. He feels like the whole world, with the exception of the Sanders, hates him for what he is and is out to cause him harm. He’s talked to Mr. Patton and the Sanders have offered paying for counseling but Virgil can’t let them do that. He knows they’re struggling financially. After all, they were struggling before he moved in. Virgil tries so desperately to minimize his impact on their home and to allow them to pay for counseling when they don’t have insurance? It’s…just not possible. He takes another deep breath, squeezing Logan tighter.
“It will be alright, Virgil,” Logan says, his voice strong but calming, “I, admittedly, do not understand most of what you are experiencing but I wish to be of service in anyway possible. Just instruct me on your needs and I will work hard to meet them.”
How can Virgil ask anything more of Logan? He’s already sharing everything he has, without question, even his parents who he’s only had for a couple of years. He lets Virgil lash out or spiral into anxiety, reassuring him every time with no complaint. He makes Virgil feel at home, even though he’s homeless. And here he is, offering even more. And what has Virgil given in return? Nothing, absolutely nothing. “I don’t know,” Virgil sighs, “I don’t know what’s wrong and I know it’s stupid…”
Virgil feels Logan squirm slightly, the emotional turn of the conversation undoubtedly making him uncomfortable. But Virgil just needs a little more out of this moment. It’s selfish, he knows…but just a couple more minutes…
“It is not stupid. I do not always understand feelings but I do know they are your feelings based off your perception of reality and that makes them valid.” Logan stares at the doorway, making sure they’re not found out. He holds Virgil, hoping that he’s making Virgil feel at least a little better. “You can feel whatever you choose and I will do my best to understand and support you.”
Virgil feels an overwhelming amount of sadness, anger, and worry begin swirling inside of him. It's like he's standing in the middle of a tornado but he’s got to keep a lid on it. He can’t lose it on a field trip… It’s just that Logan’s saying everything Virgil needs to hear, despite his confusion and lack of emotional understanding. And even though they’ve had this conversation before, many times, Virgil’s always just played it off. After all, why should he care about his parents when they haven’t cared enough to call and check on him in over 3 months? When they called Mr. Patton such terrible things when he went to try to smooth things over?
Virgil whimpers, the emotions erupting into a massive storm, threatening to tear down all the walls he’s built to keep it at bay.
Why does he secretly long for his parents’ approval and love when Logan and his parents have been nothing short of amazing? And why is it now bubbling uncontrollably to the surface? “I-I…we need to go home.”
“We are on a field trip. I do no—"
“Now, L…we need to go now,” Virgil grunts, tears starting to line his lower eyelids. He forces himself to count as he breathes, tries to concentrate on the sensation of Logan moving to pull out his phone, on the sound of his voice—slightly concerned—talking to one of his parents, on the warmth of his body against Virgil’s. Anything to keep Virgil’s mind from freaking the fuck out.
~~~~~~~~
Patton’s never driven so fast in his entire life. Fortunately, they only live 30 minutes away from the space center, but the way Logan sounded, the heavy breathing from Virgil, Patton knew it was an emergency and he needed to get there quickly. Patton—with a bit of lying—was able to convince Mr. Patterson to allow him to take Virgil who now sleeps against Logan in the backseat.
“What happened, Lolo? Virgil was real upset when I got there,” Patton asks, glancing back through the rear-view mirror. He watches Logan’s eyes stick firmly to Virgil, Patton making note those are the same eyes Roman gives him when they’re together. Despite the exhaustion his son must feel from not only having to confront and speak about emotions but to have to try to help Virgil has to be immense and yet, he still looks at Virgil like he’s truly in love.
“I-I do not know. One minute we were being reprimanded by Mr. Patterson for being ‘homosexuals’ and the next moment, Virgil was very upset. I brought him to a quiet area--you know the remembrance area--there was no one and his emotional discomfort continued,” Logan sighs, defeat in his eyes, “I am afraid I said something that triggered his anxiety but I cannot figure out what.”
Patton’s heart aches. He knows Virgil is struggling, immensely, with trying to move on without his parents. To be 15 and homeless is a scarily tragic thing. He’s spoken to Patton a couple times, but always clams up when things get too heavy. Of course, Patton assumed he’d at least been talking to Logan, but it seems that hasn’t been happening. “Do you think he’d talk to Dr. Picani?”
“Perhaps. But you and Papa can’t pay for us both,” Logan counters looking up from Virgil and at the back of his dad’s head, “I would not mind stopping if it assisted Virgil.”
“No way, nu-uh. You’ve been working so hard for years and we aren’t going to stop because Virgil needs a little help too,” Patton says shaking his head, “Don’t worry about it, ok? Papa and I will figure it out.” To be honest, Patton’s not sure where they’re going to come up with any extra money but he doesn’t mind. Patton would work as many extra shifts as it took to help Virgil out.
Logan nods, looking back to Virgil. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything, kiddo,” Patton beams as they come to a stop at a red light. He turns around quickly, grabbing and squeezing Logan’s hand. Logan looks at him and Patton sees the concern and slight exhaustion in his deep blue eyes. It's been a while since he's been this physically transparent about his own emotional turmoil and Patton knows they've got wrap this up. “It'll be ok. You just gotta talk to Virgil, y'know? Remind him that you go to Dr. Picani...”
Logan shakes his head sadly. “I have not admitted to Virgil that I speak with a therapist.”
Patton lets out a small “oh” before turning back around. That may explain why Virgil’s been so reluctant. If he knew Logan went, it would take some of the stigma away. But why isn’t Logan sharing that piece of him? Patton wants to launch into a full on investigation into Logan but knows Logan's already tapped. To talk to him about why he's kept this vital pieces of information from Virgil for so long would do more harm than good. So Patton will table it for now. He begins driving again, glancing into the rear view mirror. “Well, kiddo, I think being honest with Virgil might help you both.”