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“Thank you, once again, for agreeing to help me,” Yusuke said enthusiastically, unwrapping his burger at an alarming pace. “And for buying me lunch. I am truly grateful, and I promise to repay you one day.”
Ryuji rubbed the back of his neck, ducking down to hide his face. Why the hell did his cheeks get all hot over the littlest things when it came to this guy? “Dude, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” he muttered. “Did you… uh… get enough to eat?”
He eyed the five burgers in front of Yusuke skeptically, two of which had already been reduced to empty wrappers. Yusuke nodded firmly. “I did. I wasn’t sure fast food would be to my taste, but I do find that I rather enjoy it. And the atmosphere as well… who knew the modern theme of space travel combined with the homey feeling of a 1950s diner could be so aesthetically pleasing? Thank you for bringing me here, Ryuji.” Ryuji sighed deeply.
“D’you ever think about anything but art?” he asked offhandedly, taking a bite of his own burger. Yusuke seemed to consider this question at length, pausing in his voracious eating and bringing a thoughtful hand up to his chin.
“I think about you,” he said, very simply, before turning back to his food. Ryuji choked so hard he blacked out a little.
From Shibuya, they took the train back to Yusuke’s dorm, Ryuji quickly directing Yusuke to a rare empty seat and opting to stand over him. They didn’t talk much during the ride. Yusuke had his sketchbook out and was gazing out the window with that thoughtful expression of his, and Ryuji… Ryuji was thinking.
That had been kind of a date, hadn’t it? They’d gone out to eat, just the two of them, and Ryuji had covered the bill. Then again, it wasn’t like it was the first time they’d been in that exact scenario. Ryuji ended up paying for Yusuke more often than not, in fact, for obvious reasons. But for some reason, it felt different, this time. Maybe it was because he was finally starting to acknowledge the… things he felt, when Yusuke was around. He didn’t think he was quite ready to put a name to it yet, but he was at least at the point that he knew it was there. It scared the living shit out of him.
He glanced over at Yusuke, his throat tightening as he watched the setting sun cast shadows over his ridiculously beautiful features. He was still terrified, but lately, on top of that… he was kinda happy, too.
“So uh, what exactly do you want me to do?” Ryuji asked as they made their way from the station to Yusuke’s dorm building, suddenly nervous for some reason.
“Just model for a simple portrait. It’s for my final portfolio,” Yusuke explained. “It will be a large percentage of my overall grade, so I wanted a model both whom I could rely on and whose visuals and aesthetics matched the concept I had in mind.” Ryuji cleared his throat.
“Got it. Glad I could help,” he mumbled. He shifted awkwardly as they entered Yusuke’s room. “I don’t have to like… take my clothes off, right?”
Yusuke chuckled. “That is always my preference, but that’s not what I had in mind for this particular painting,” he explained. “If I wanted a nude model, I would have asked Akira. He’s always very enthusiastic and willing.”
Ryuji couldn’t help but picture Akira, completely ass-naked in Yusuke’s room, a scenario that had apparently actually happened at least once in the past. A vein throbbed in his temple. “Well, I dunno if Akechi’d be too thrilled about that, now that they’re dating,” he pointed out, trying hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Yusuke hummed thoughtfully.
“I suppose that’s true. Oh, maybe I could ask Akechi to model as well!” he mused. “He does have a rather impressive physique…”
“Okay, let’s stop talkin’ about naked guys now,” Ryuji said flatly. He gazed around the room. “Where d’you want me?”
Yusuke seemed to consider this for several moments, before guiding him to a chair in the corner, flipping it around and guiding Ryuji to sit on it backwards. “Okay, now rest your chin on your hands… perfect. Just like that,” he said, framing him with his fingers. “Are you comfortable?”
“I mean, not really,” he said, shifting in the hard wooden chair. “How long do I gotta hold this position?”
“Hmm, well, it will probably take me at least seven hours to complete the painting,” Yusuke mused. Ryuji balked at him.
“Holy shit, dude, I can’t sit still for that long! I’m already gettin’ antsy and we haven’t even started yet!” he said frantically. Yusuke covered his mouth and chuckled.
“Of course, we still have quite a few weeks until the portfolio is due. I think several shorter sessions should do the trick,” he explained lightly. Ryuji blinked, and it dawned on him that Yusuke had been messing with him. God, what an adorable asshole. “I’m going to begin now.”
It wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as Ryuji had imagined it being. They sat in complete silence, but it wasn’t awkward, and Ryuji felt himself slowly relax as he listened to Yusuke’s paintbrush repeatedly stroke over the canvas. It was kinda nice, just being able to drift off into his thoughts. Thoughts like, how handsome Yusuke looked when he was concentrating. And how soft his hair looked. What it might feel like to run his fingers through it. Those were completely normal things to think about, right? After all, Yusuke was like, objectively beautiful. There was no way anyone could not be entranced by him. And he was just so passionate, which only made him prettier, in Ryuji’s opinion.
Ugh. He had it so bad. When had this even happened? What was he supposed to do about it?
“I can tell from your expression that you’re restless,” Yusuke pointed out, setting his brush down. “I think it’s alright if we stop there for today.”
“Oh, uh, cool,” Ryuji said, blinking rapidly to clear his mind and stretching out his stiff arms. “Did I do okay?”
Yusuke smiled at him softly. “You did. You’re an excellent model, Ryuji,” he said. “Would you mind coming back tomorrow?”
He had a test he really needed to study for. “Sure thing,” he said, standing up. “Can I see?”
Yusuke nodded, gesturing for Ryuji to join him behind the canvas. Ryuji walked over anxiously, not sure what he was expecting to see.
The moment he looked at it, he felt his stomach drop. He’d always been impressed with Yusuke’s art, in a way that he’d never really been impressed by art before, but seeing himself be depicted was a different experience entirely. He looked so… soft, nothing at all like the rough, brutish thug he saw himself as. He couldn’t even process how it was possible that Yusuke looked at him and saw this.
“Yusuke…” he said softly, swallowing down a lump in his throat. “Is this really… what I look like to you?”
Yusuke glanced up at him, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Of course,” he said. “You’re beautiful, Ryuji. Not just outwardly, but within as well.”
Ryuji backed away, scrubbing a hand over his mouth and feeling his pulse skyrocket. That was it, he couldn’t take this anymore. “I like you,” he said, loudly, like it was bursting from him, like it would explode and take him with it if he didn’t let it out.
Yusuke stared at him for several moments, wide-eyed. “Oh,” he said, clearly thrown off-guard. “I… thank you, for telling me that. I like you too.”
Ryuji shook his head rapidly. “No, no. You don’t get it,” he said frantically. “I like you. So much. It’s drivin’ me crazy, man, especially because… I’m not like that, y’know? I don’t like… guys. At least, I didn’t, but you… you’re so… I just can’t stop thinking about you, and how pretty you are, and the like, amazing way your mind works, I just love hearing you talk and watching you see the beauty in everything and… dammit. I’m freaking out here, dude, say something.”
They stared at each other in silence for several beats, and Ryuji was certain that at any moment now he was gonna have a heart attack and die. Yusuke stood up, taking one of his hands gently. “I do get it,” he said carefully. “And I feel the same way about you. I apologize for not saying anything sooner, but I could tell you were scared and unsure… I didn’t want to pressure you into anything.”
Ryuji clenched his jaw tightly. He was not going to start crying right now. No way in hell. “I… Yusuke…” he said thickly, and god, did he want nothing more than to stand on his tiptoes and kiss the other boy stupid, but… he was pretty sure he would have a panic attack if he did. He was already overwhelmed enough for one day. “B-before I come back here tomorrow, can we like, go on a date? A real one, not just me buying you fast food. I’ll, uh, take you somewhere nice. Do you wanna?”
Yusuke’s eyes lit up immediately. “Somewhere nice? Like the hotel with the buffet?” he asked excitedly. Ryuji chuckled awkwardly.
“Dude, do you really like me or are you just in it for the food?” he muttered. Yusuke paused, taking way too long to think that over. “Dude!”
Yusuke chuckled, and Ryuji belatedly realized that he was messing with him, again. “I would like that,” he said with a soft smile. God, he was pretty when he smiled. “Not because of the food, because of you. Just you.”