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DAVE: sup pup
DANA: arf!
DAVE: yeah sure
DAVE: hope that dog barking is just a phase
DAVE: i mean not really against weird fetish choices
JADE: obviously…
DAVE: but babies and furries
DAVE: just doesnt seem like a combination that should exist
JADE: well uhhh
DAVE: thats a thing isnt it
JADE: :/
DAVE: god da
DAVE: god dang it
DAVE: welp thats decided then
DAVE: kids dont get internet access until theyre forty
DAVE: or until furaffinity burns to the ground
DAVE: speaking of which
DAVE: no making out with the spark plug
DAVE: or making out with that
DAVE: yeah im taking that out of your mouth too
DAVE: jesus christ enough with the mouth stuff
JACE: arf!
DAVE: yeah betting you got your oral fixation from your mom
JACE: hehe
DAVE: ow come on really
JADE: >:(
DAVE: i have been dry on dick jokes for way too long and that was barely one to begin with
DAVE: you have to give me at least one concession
DAVE: sides they cant understand me
JADE: they laughed at it!
DAVE: okay no star trek guy had a rule about babies
DAVE: main thing is that they laugh at anything if you say it in the right tone of voice
DAVE: watch
DAVE: communism
DANA: ehehehe
DAVE: see
JADE: thats a terrible example though! everyone even babies know that communism is a total joke
DAVE: yeah okay fair point
DAVE: maybe they just inheirited my incredible sense of humor
DAVE: now move over ive got an armful of baby and another armful of baby
JADE: too late! ive claimed the couch in the name of jade
DAVE: yeah well monarchy is over
JADE: oh please its still a perfectly viable system of government look at england!
DAVE: nope sorry league of nations says otherwise
DAVE: we can divide it up evenly in a treaty
DAVE: youll be east germany and im west germany
JACE: hehe
DAVE: huh maybe you do get communism jokes then
DAVE: guess that fu
DAVE: guess that screws my theory over
DAVE: next matter of business
DAVE: when did they start climbing
JADE: why would i know?
DAVE: well its obviously from your side of the family
JADE: please youre the climber!
JADE: theres been at least two times where ive found you sleeping up in places you shouldnt be!
DAVE: sorry hard habit to kick
DAVE: but no if the climbing was in my genes it skipped a generation
DAVE: wouldnt be surprised if bro did it though
DAVE: you should have seen his arms
DAVE: looked like some sort of primate
DAVE: pretty sure he was a stunt double for orangutans when he was younger
DANA: bark?
DAVE: yeah okay not with the glasses
DAVE: sorry kiddo youve been deemed infected with being too grabby and too climby
DAVE: youre being quarantined in the jade zone
DAVE: aka east germany
DAVE: here
JADE: well hi there! welcome to the jade zone!
JADE: oh shhh dont cry the jade zone isnt that bad!
JADE: its not THAT close to east germany!
DAVE: you ever think its all gonna go bad
JADE: what?
DAVE: all this
DAVE: just sitting on a couch shooting the breeze about stupid random things
DAVE: nothing trying to kill us
DAVE: feeling like a normal familial unit
DAVE: even if we kind of combined the 2.3 kids and a dog thing a bit
DAVE: it just doesnt seem like we deserve it
DAVE: or were going to pay a price
JADE: karma isnt real dave…
DAVE: maybe
DAVE: but what if were doing this wrong
DAVE: what if they end up as fucked up as we were
DAVE: or worse what if they end up objectivists
DAVE: i just think about it and it really worries me
JADE: what, objectivism?
DAVE: well that and more growing up to be like some fu
DAVE: like a screwed up ninja parody who thinks love isnt real
DAVE: or at least not important as running with your arms behind your back
JADE: dave youre overreacting
DAVE: am i
DAVE: lets face it we really werent qualified to raise one kid even
JADE: but nobody is!
JADE: its like nuclear engineering… nobody is born a nuclear engineer
JADE: the best ones are the ones who put effort into it!
JADE: and i feel like we’re making an attempt to do it right!
JADE: we read all the stupid online stuff
JADE: we even read the entire star trek book series before realizing that doctor spock was a different person!
DAVE: oh i knew i just liked kirk
JADE: please kirk is an arrogant womanizer! give me picard any day!
DAVE: sorry jade my fatherly instincts just tell me to keep away from a bald guy who tells you about his secret monster baby house
JADE: like youd pass up the chance to have your kids be x-men!
DAVE:its a tough choice but sorry safety has to come first
JADE: see this is what i mean!
JADE: maybe were not the best parents but… we try.
DAVE: well what do you think kiddo
DAVE: you gonna turn into some sort of psychopath and stab me with a dumb looking red laser sword when you grow up
DANA: ...
DANA: bark.
DAVE: acceptable answer