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I'm so sorry, my Ibu-tan.
You keep telling me not to rush, but I feel like I have to...
Because I know that our time together won't last forever.
I made that mistake the first time, you know, thinking that love could actually overcome everything. So, I took my time; we took our time. Our friendship slowly blossomed into something so beautiful that I'm still in awe of it.
But it faded, as all things do. Life happened. We happened. And I realized something, even back then:
Someone like you can't be with someone like me.
I know you hear the whispers. Shit, some people aren't even whispering it; they're shouting it from the goddamn rooftops.
You're better than me.
You're too good for me.
And I am, veritably, a piece of shit.
Honestly, it's not like I don't know those things already. I just keep hoping that you'll love me though it. I swear, I'm trying to get better, to be better. To be worthy of you.
But I keep making the same mistakes, don't I? And you're wonderful, but not infinitely patient.
So, in the end, I know that my time is short.
I want to make the most of it. I want to enjoy, savor, treasure every single moment I have with you before...we...
Because that's how this goes, right? We get together, we love each other fiercely, and then...
You were meant to ascend, my love, higher than me, higher than anyone. You are the Golden Star in every sense of the world, and I am almost completely content to watch you from down here on Earth.
Ibu-tan, I know what I am; and I know what you are, too. I know the decisions we're going to have to make, and I think I can guess where your heart will take you.
Honestly, I'm scared to death of it all. I feel like I'm waiting for the hammer to finally fall again. I don't know if we'll die a slow, lingering death, or if there will be a sudden, violent end, but I can almost feel it coming. I know you'll survive, like the phoenix you are, rising from the ashes more glorious than before.
But me...
Well, I don't have time to worry about my fate. I know how my story ends, too.
In the meantime, though, you don't have to love me. Just know that I love you, with all of my wicked, broken heart.
Please stay with me, just a little bit longer.
(())
“I don't like that look on your face.”
Kenny Omega turned around, making sure to thoroughly wipe away his tears and plaster on a bright smile before facing his Golden Lover.
“Ibu-tan! You're early!”
Kota frowned, dropping his bags at the door and approaching Kenny in a few, purposeful strides.
“What were you thinking about just now?” he asked, eyes narrowing as he noted the tell-tale signs of distress on his friend-and-lover's features.
“Just thinking about our upcoming match,” Kenny lied, becoming visibly uncomfortable as Kota grabbed his upper arms, forcing their eyes to meet. “What?!”
“Don't lie to me.”
The former Cleaner looked down, false smile flickering out as quickly as it had been created. “I'm...thinking about us.”
“And?”
“I...” Omega bit his lip. Was there any good way to say, I know you're going to leave me, but I'm a selfish piece of shit who doesn't want you to go?
“I'm scared,” was all that managed to make its way out.
But Kota, a man of few words himself, seemed to understand. He released Kenny's arms, and pulled his blond counterpart into a tight hug.
“Don't listen to them. Listen to me.”
“But—”
“I love you.”
“Ibutan—”
Kota shook Kenny gently, but firmly. “Stop listening to them. They'll destroy you. Listen to me, I love you and I want to be with you.”
Kenny managed a small, weak smile. “I love you too,” he replied, openly, honestly, sadly. “I know we love each other, I just...I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen.”
“Nothing bad is going to happen,” Ibushi said firmly, his grip on Kenny tightening ever-so-slightly. “I...I won't let you slip away from me again.”
The words stung Kenny in a way that made him want to slump in Kota's strong arms and never lift his head again. Of course they were thinking the same thing; and, of course, from Kota's perspective, wasn't it Kenny who really left first?
Kenny wanted to hope, wanted to believe that their love would survive whatever was coming. But he just couldn't shake the dread growing in his heart.
Because, no matter how much they loved each other, the stars naturally rose in the Heavens, while angels with only one wing inevitably fell down to Earth.