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2019-11-29
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Oh, I Catastrophize

Summary:

After being left behind by All Might on the rooftop, Izuku starts to see the world in a different way.
He realises he doesn't need to be a hero to save people.
A vigilante will do.

And Aizawa is a tired caterpillar who cares too much for the kitten who roams the streets.

Notes:

Hello everyone, this is gonna be my second fic. I'll be updating both fics, usually at weekends. And maybe starting another... eek.
Love you all!

I'm already tired and it's only half eleven. Sleep has been my pasttime recently.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: The prowl of the Night Cat

Chapter Text

Midoriya Izuku ran through the dead of night, simple black mask slipping down his face. He would really need to fix the tiny air suctions on the back, that held the mask onto his face by pulling in the air. It left a gap between the mask and his face, which assisted with his sight and breathing, but it was such a pain when trying to run away from heroes.

Which is totally not what he was doing. Nope.

He turned the corner into an alley and waited. Running feet passed by the alley, completely missing him. He stayed there for another few minutes, assessing the damage to his suit. It would need a few stitches, but he hadn't gotten cut. Which was actually a miracle, considering he still needed to get home tonight without his mother seeing, along with the fact that one of the three villains had a mutation quirk. It made him look like a bull… with the temperament to go with the looks apparently.

The heroes had shown up after he called the police for the villain, faster than they normally did, his voice modifier on and at use. It really wasn't hard to trick them and lead them around in circles. Surprisingly disappointing to be honest.

He left the alley when he was sure no one was outside it, waiting for him. A little paranoia went a long way.

He scaled one of the buildings along the road, jumping across rooftops easily, ending up at his usual hiding place. He changed back into normal clothes, jumping into the alleyway beside the spot. His shock-absorbent shoes took the brunt of the impact and he rolled with the momentum, jumping to his feet afterwards. He had practised that a lot. It was fun now.

A sudden meow broke his train of thought. Well if you could call thinking about what sort of food he could sneak from the kitchen a train of thought. It was 3 am, the moon providing little light.
Izuku activated the small light pointer on his index finger, a bright green beam emerging. He had left his gloves on, just a precaution for if he had to make a hasty getaway.

He pointed it towards the sound just as another meow could be heard. A midnight black kitten stared at him, a tuft of white on its head and along its paws.

It was covered in dust, and some other substance, and Izuku wasn't sure he wanted to know what it was. He approached it slowly, the kitten watching through large green eyes. It's ears pricked up when he began to whisper softly to the kitten.

"Come here kittie, I'm not gonna hurt you." He carefully lifted it up to his chest, cuddling it close. It was freezing, so he quickly unzipped his hoodie and shoved the kitten inside, zipping it up a minute later.

A second passed by until an indignant squeak was heard, a head popping out of his hoodie, ears back and its eyes seemed to glare at him.

He laughed quietly and started to walk, cradling the kitten through his hoodie to ensure it didn't fall.

He never noticed the eyes following his every move, and the figure that jumped over the rooftops, leaving him behind in the dead of night.

**********


Izuku had not planned on keeping the kitten. He thought it would run away quick enough after he cleaned it and gave it food. But maybe he was the first person to care for it. It had been alone after all. And how could he leave an innocent kitten out alone, in the cold? He couldn't, that was the thing.

He had been tired yes, but of course, him being that caring insomniac that he was, he had decided to wash the kitten first. It was surprisingly docile, and once it's fur had been cleaned and dried, was the cutest animal he had ever seen. He washed and stitched his costume while he was awake too.

He had become a vigilante five months prior. After his encounter with All Might, his ex-idol, and being told to go jump off a rooftop, he had given up on being a hero. Heroes were selfish creatures, flaunting their flashy quirks as if the whole world revolved around them, acting as if rankings meant more than lives to save. The bigger the scandal, the greater the coverage.
Izuku had noticed this a few days after his meeting with All Might. Yes, he had still kept the hope of becoming a hero at that stage. He was stupid and young, naive and gullible. And then he saw that fight.

It had been one between Uwabami, Backdraft, and Death Arms and a villain with a telekinesis quirk, which was a really useful quirk, had so much potential. He was getting off track. But still, he had a point. Izuku wondered for a second why he had become a villain. Then he returned to watching the heroes.

They had special moves, he knew that. He had studied each of them extensively, and while he knew Uwabami usually only did photoshoots, she must have been the only other hero nearby. Right?

His heart pounded in his chest as the fight slowly drew to an exhaustingly tense close. People screamed for the heroes, spurring them on. The telekinesis quirked villain seemed pretty beat up by the end of it. But heroes would never actually harm a villain if they didn’t need to. Never.

His mouth fell open in shock at the last blow dealt. A blow to the ribs of the villain already down, unconscious, a snarl painted on Uwabami's face. It was so swift that he might have missed it if he blinked. The damage around the fight was extensive, both from the heroes fighting and the villains quirk being put in use. Buildings crumbling, walls falling down, crack in the road, and poles tilted at odd angles. It looked like Endeavor had just fought, not these heroes. Yeah, he didn’t really like the flaming hero all that much.

Uwabami turned to the cameras straight after, smiling and waving as if this was all just another promotion for her…. Oh. Wow. Ok.
Maybe heroes didn’t fight as fair as it looked.

He had joined a dojo soon after, for Judo, along with afternoon Aikido classes, his focus not on becoming a hero, but his goal had at sometime diverged from that path. He looked through his notebooks that night, reading quietly. Years of thought, gone down the drain all because of the stupid fake heroes… Unless...

His eyes fell onto the page he had for each hero, the one page for each of them just filled with notes on their support items. Well, maybe…

It became easy after that. Well, easier. It was still hard to swallow the fact that heroics was corrupt and unfair, but seeing it had changed his perspective. His schedule changed slightly. Instead of researching for the heroics exam and having a panic session over the fact that he had no quirk, feeling worthless afterwards, repeating Kacchan’s words in his head.. Yeah lets not open that can of worms right now. Instead, he researched support items and courses. Obviously, the biggest course was still in UA. He had thrown away his hero dream but he could still attend the most prestigious school.

The support items he looked at on hero's seemed simple enough. In theory of course. He would need to learn about wiring and electronics, but practice makes perfect.
So recently, his time had been filled with dojo training, learning about wiring (there were so many books on support and electronics and things he didn’t even know existed), and studying for the written part, while trying to create the blueprints for a few designs needed for the support exam. And now, of course, being a vigilante. With a cat. Not strange at all.

For the exam, they had to make four designs and submit them and explain them to a panel of judges, three minutes for each design. He only had rough sketches but they were decent enough. For now.

Once he was confident enough in his abilities in that side of it, he began learning how to actually make things.

Dagobah Municipal Beach was filled with rubbish. Well, that was most people's idea of it. For Izuku, it was paradise, a place where he could easily get materials. He went to it on a Saturday evening one day and started on his first idea.

Soon he was hauling bits of rubbish away from others, throwing useless bits into the dump that someone had placed by the edge of the beach in case a person might want to help clean up. There were quite a few useless bits, things that had become too waterlogged to use, pieces of equipment that were torn and broken, glass bottles that had dug their way into the sand. His cat, Malaki followed along behind him. She had grown on him over the weeks after he had taken her home.

Making equipment for his vigilantism soon became an easy habit, and extra practice for the support course exam which was coming up soon.

He had become a vigilante to help people in the areas heroes didn’t patrol, because there wasn’t enough glory involved. Too many things go on in the dark places where the monsters hide and thrive of course.

It was quite easy. Surprisingly so. He had just learned how to charge batteries, make circuits, create shortcuts in easy to use items, make them faster. He had also learned how to sew, from his mother, who was happy to help.

His first fight had been a few months back. He had been physically fit and knew how to fight but had never gotten the chance to put it into practice. Izuku had strolled past an alleyway on his way to the grocery store when he heard a muffled shout, suddenly cut short. Grunts and the sound of the impact of something hitting off the wall got his attention and he found himself running in before thinking. Not very smart.

The fight had taken more energy than he would like to admit. The attacker had been trying to push a small woman against a building. She held a child in her arms, cradling him from the kicks she endured. It was obvious to see what the man wanted when he pulled her by the waistband towards him and slowly unbuckled her belt, whispering into her ear as silent tears streamed over the hand covering her mouth. Her eyes glazed over and yet she still weakly tried to push him away with one hand.

Izuku was punching the man in the face before he knew it. He threw a fist into his stomach for good measure, before the man's quirk came back to bite him in the ass. It was a quirk that apparently took over the senses and closed them. Explains the glazed eyes he supposed.

He glanced at the woman again, seeing she had slightly awakened from her fuzzy awareness of before. He motioned for her to move towards the entrance of the alley, which she did. He turned back to the attacker, trying to get a sense of balance over the loud, fuzzy noises in his ears, blocking out sounds.


He kicked when he saw the foot fly towards his face, but too late. It smashed into his head and the momentum was enough to push him to the ground.

It was hard to work around the advanced sight and sound, but the sight wasn't as bad as not hearing anything. He could still see, which must have meant he could only control one aspect of his quirk at a time. Or near enough only one.

That could have practical uses such as preventing a sensory overload, stopping villains, and if he could take them away, could he also give the senses back? Because that could change so many people's lives if he tried.

Not for the first time, Izuku found himself wondering how much the world of quirks had failed those who had 'villainous' quirks, or none at all.

People could be harsh and stupid sometimes, as seen by the multitude of scars on his back from Kac- Bakugou.

Izuku had just wanted the fight to be over so he hit the man in the pressure point located on his neck and twisted his hand and arm back towards his body.

Izuku had to rely on his touch a lot as that was the least affected, the attacker hadn't seemed to think he would be able to use it so well without sight. A mistake that cost him his freedom. In no time at all Izuku had him tied up, using the wristband he had made that day while practising knots and learning about the importance of strong fabrics.

The police were quick to respond and he waited for them so that they could take his statement before they proceeded the man.
They eventually arrived and then proceeded to give out to him.

"Well, I'm just saying you are so lucky you didn't have a quirk. You could be arrested for vigilantism."

Izuku started, disbelief painted across his face. He stared and tried to understand how the hell the cop had gotten that idea.

"I've seen the likes of you before. Acting all innocent, as if you don't know what you're doing. Kid, if you want to help, join our forces when you're older. It'll do you no good out here." He smiled slightly as if trying to further cement his point. And oh hell no.

"Excuse you, but I just took down a man trying to rape a woman, and you are accusing me of vigilantism. Do you even know the meaning of that? Do you just think every person who sees someone hurting someone wants to be a hero? Yes many of them do, but there can just be people there at the right place and the right time to do something. How the hell do you have any right to threaten to arrest me? Well excuse you, but kindly go fuck yourself, while I go home and sleep." Izuku's face fell after he had sauntered past the shocked policeman. He hadn't meant to say any of that but it had all been true. Thank goodness it wasn't too late, he could still get home before dark.
He passed small grocers on the way home, where he got most of the ingredients needed by his mother for the next day. And then, it started to rain. Typical, days could never go quite right for him.

Izuku had gotten home, soaked, cold, and already sneezing. He was tired, the adrenaline of the fight had long cleared his system and he barely made it through a shower before he collapsed on his bed.

"I'm exhausted." His voice floated through the air, lonely and loud in the quiet of his room. His computer screen glared at him from the dark, beckoning.

He sat up suddenly.

Why hadn't he thought of this before?
He could never become a hero. That was basically set in stone. He didn't even know if he wanted to be anymore. Quirks and having one (or in his case, not) had controlled his whole life for the better part of nine years. His dreams had only brought him pain and suffering. But this…

Vigilantism.

It was illegal, but…

A quick Google search and he was grinning like a maniac.

"Vigilantism: the action of illegal quirk usage without provocation on another person, this is not self-defence."

Technically, he couldn't be a vigilante because he had no quirk.

His smile gleamed in the darkness, and that day, he felt something that had been hanging on by a thread, crumple into pieces.
It didn't phase him.

He would continue. He always did.

**********


After that, the harder work began. He picked up more classes of the two fighting style he was doing and started a third, Jujitsu.

It was easier to learn because he had experience in two others, but his master took that as even more of an opportunity to beat him around the floor.

He started his research too, learning about underground heroes. He had never looked at them in detail before, when he had been so focused on the more impressive quirks. He loved every quirk, yes, but he did have his soft spots.

His searches found an Eraserhead, but only after hours of looking. There was no information on his quirk and only one blurry video. He emerged through his desk quickly in order to find his notebooks.

If he was going to take after Eraserhead, he would need to analyse everything about him, including his fighting style.

Next came more research on fighting. He found a contact number for a street fighter a few years back, who had disappeared mysteriously once being investigated for where he had learned his techniques. He also looked for other vigilantes, which was easier considering the hours he had put into Eraserhead. He was nearly certain he had heard of him before. He made a note to look through his previous sketchbooks.

After that, came the fun part. Designing.
Izuku had always loved art. The process of creating something entirely your own, which other people could easily change to suit them was so enticing. So, he almost had too many designs after he was finished.

He had decided on using gloves. They would protect his fingerprint from the world, because although every part would be padded, from the knuckles to the fingertips and around them would have steel. There would be retractable claws emerging from each fingertip, for easy climbing and gripping walls and things.

He would have to make steel-toed boots, along with a retractable knife, able to emerge from the sole, to make climbing even easier.
He looked through his ideas quickly to see what else he could put on the boots.

It would be hard to do, but he supposed he could find something to help. He wanted boosters in the heels of his shoes, a small charge of flames to boost him upwards.
Now the fun part. The suit itself.

Izuku debated colours for a while, but eventually decided on a dark, forest green, dark to ensure that he wouldn't be seen, but also making the suit his own.

He wanted to base it after an animal. Since he had begun to research Eraserhead, he had noticed that the man loved cats. For some reason, he did. One video, that he had spent a whole three days searching for, had just been the hero finding a cat and helping it. He had held it close for only three seconds, but within that time frame, a small smile, that could have been mistaken for a grimace passed over his features. It was a gamble, but Midoriya had always had a soft spot for cats. They were so fluffy and adorable.

So that's where the cat ears on his hood came from. The material would be baggy, except at the wrists and ankles and around his neck, so that it may throw an opponent on. He also had to consider the space needed to place padding within.

He measured himself, crudely drawing the basic design. At the last minute, he added metal shoulder, elbow and knee plates in.
Next job would be to sew it all together, along with finding metal and a saw strong enough to cut it to shape.

The gloves would have to be carefully composed, as the finger needed to be able to move and clench. That meant. Joints of metal would need to be added and screwed together so nothing fell apart and it all worked.

That Friday evening he fell asleep happy, hours of drawing and work left splayed across his desk.

**********


Inko Midoriya didn't know what was up with her son. He had come home in such a mood nearly a week ago, and now he was lying face down on his bed, limbs strewn all over the place. It was hilarious.

She crept over to the desk, looking at the drawings he had done.

A few months earlier, after the sludge attacks, she had talked over his plans with her. He had asked to drop out of school and she allowed it, on the condition he keeps up with his schoolwork. He had surpassed that condition, if his middle school certs could be counted.
Inko was not stupid. While not being the most attentive mother, she could see the bullying happening and the effects of it. She had spoken to Mitsuki too many times to be healthy about it and how Bakugou we treating Izuku. Those ripples of scarred skin didn't just come from nowhere. It became harder to watch Izuku each day fall deeper into a depressive episode than before. She knew what it was. She knew the signs.

The only problem was the money.

If she could, Inko would have removed him from the school as soon as the bullying started and escalated. But she couldn't.

Hisashi had for some reason stopped sending money every month and she had had to take on another job on top of hospital nursing work, just to take in enough money for the both of them.

When Izuku mentioned the support course at UA, she was ecstatic. Maybe this would be something he wouldn't get ridiculed for believing himself capable of doing.
The danger had never been an issue with her. There was danger everywhere. Of course, she wanted to keep him sheltered. But that went against his every nature. Smothering him would do him no good, but mothering him would. There was a difference. She was sure.
Inko just wanted him to be happy. If he was happy she would he. She recognised the fact that when she had said, "I'm sorry, Izuku," it helped him in no way and only made it worse. She knew that. So this, whatever he was doing, was fine with her.

Support courses were dangerous. There were explosions and smoke and many of them could die. But most didn't because they learned fast, thought quick, had safety precautions in place to ensure no casualties. It was another form of a hero.

These designs spread on the desk, featuring steel knuckled gloves, boots with knives, canisters containing… was that a form of laughing gas?

Well, whatever they were, if they helped him accomplish this even one of his goals, she would wait for him to explain.

She scribbles a note onto the glove design. Laser beams, flashlight, lockpick, injection needle, emerge from fingertip, small, undetectable, good in combat and at night.
She would always wait for him.

She had waited her whole life for him to get even a smidge of the confidence he had today, she could wait a little longer for him to tell her ideas.

**********


And that brought him to where he was now.
A vigilante extraordinaire, an almost support course student, a fighter of three different martial arts, along with wielding a staff fairly well, and a cat owner.

This is where his life had led him.

No quirk. No superpower. No amazing extraordinary power to be considered normal.

But happy.

That's what he was.

Happy.

Tired.

Enjoying his life.

Today was a week before the exam.
Malaki head-butted him in the chin as he nearly fell asleep on top of her. Again.

He pet her absentmindedly.

He had found that she was a spitfire, quiet and docile in his hands but, she seemed to be a good judge of character.

Once she had gone outside, came back an hour later with blood dotting her right paw.
Bakugou had walked across the street in front of him, thankfully not noting his face, with a kitten looking scratch from the edge of his jaw for around five centimetres along his neck.

He would be lying if he said that didn't make his day.

He had a daily routine now.

It was a lot like his old one, except he got up earlier than needed and went to sleep later.
He got up around seven or half seven most mornings, making a small pot of tea for while he was studying. He studied for three hours, as he had already finished all of the coursework needed and had started some for high school, but most study time was spent revising for the UA written exam. It would be hard but he trusted himself.

Then, after that, he would go on a run for at least an hour, go to the gym, do weights, then return home. He then continued working on his designs for his support test items, improving the sketch and modifying the actual item. He had all four items nearly built, just needing extra bits and pieces to fit in.
They did work perfectly in the way he intended.

Then, once normal school classes were let out he would go straight to his martial arts class. On Saturday's and Sunday's, they were earlier so he actually had two classes on both of those days. Aikido and Judo on Saturday, and Jujitsu and Judo on Sunday.

In the evenings he would go to the beach. He was nearly done cleaning it, he would probably have it finished by tomorrow, it was only small items left lying near the edge of the beach. They would be easy to finish putting in the dump.

Patrols began at eight or nine, depending on how much time he had left during the day to analyse quirks. Then he wouldn't be home until two or three in the morning, sometimes bloody and bruised, but a satisfying ache in his bones.

Hence he would begin all over again.

It took away some of the numbness he felt in his veins at times when Kac- Bakugou's voice would drown out logic and his confidence would turn to mush, when a criminal got away, or how quirklessness felt like a burden to his mother. She got as much abuse about it as he did, just in different forms.

"Aw, poor woman, I heard her child's quirk less."
"That's so rare nowadays. Did she not give him up for adoption."
"I would have. I couldn't stand having a useless son, who was as fragile as a flower."
"Yeah, I agree with you there."

The whispers followed him everywhere they went. His mother took it in her stride, but sometimes he could see the twist of anger and disappointment in her brow. It would be easier if he wasn't there.

She was a saint, and he loved her so much.
She had let him continue on with his purpose, even when he had told her what he was doing. She suspected, of course, she wasn't slow.

But telling her had been a relief. It had felt so good to get it off his chest. All she had said in return to his mumbling ramble was, "Be safe, be careful, and that will be enough for me. Come to me if you ever need anything. I'll be here. Now, come over here, show me that design of yours for your suit, I'll sew it together for you! What colour did you want again?"
He was so lucky to have her.

That night, when he went out in his new and improved suit, the cars ears poking above his head, the device in them linking him to the Hero agencies within a 50-mile block radius, his smile was brighter than any star. And so he bounced over rooftops.

It was a quiet night, a Monday, the laziest day of the week. He didn't think anything would happen, but better to be safe rather than sorry!

"A fight has broken out two blocks away from you Edgeshot, please respond."

"Responding now."

The crackle of the signal flickered out and he glanced to his sleek looking watch, flicked it upwards, creating a hologram. He could see Edgeshot's position, so he knew where to avoid.

It had taken him months to build and ensure accuracy, but he had gotten it finished the day before. He was proud of it, it was a simple piece of equipment that would help very much in the long run.

Nothing had really happened during the night, so he was leaving for his changing area at around two in the morning, when suddenly white.. bandages… shot out from nowhere.
Izuku dodged, shooting to his feet a second later, crouching down into a fighting stance.
The material shot out at him again, he dodged yet again, inspecting the material rapidly. It seemed to be a scarf?

He looked at the man wearing it and his eyes widened.

Eraserhead stood across from him on some insignificant rooftop, staring at him. He watched the dark eyes take in the cats ears, the suit, the boots.

"Who are you?" Eraserhead's gruff voice filled the air between them.

Izuku discretely snapped his fingers together, the material on his hands muffling the sound. Voice modifier activated.

Sarcasm time.

"I'm a cat, meow," he said, the modifier changing his voice to a deeper octave. Interesting.

Eraser rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Uh-huh, and I'm Santa."

"Um, no, you're a hobo."

His eyes narrowed. Maybe Izuku shouldn't have said that. Darn his mouth.

"A funny cat. I've never seen one before."
"And I've never seen clothes so dull, but here we are."

"What are you doing here, Cat Meow?" His voice became tinged with annoyance. Well that's not his vigilante name but he'll roll with it. So Eraserhead had little patience in conversations. Izuku could work with that.

"Just out for a night prowl. But I have to go now, I think I'm getting tired. Catnaps only do me for so long…" He turned, hoping the other would just let him go. He was just a vigilante, nothing serious to worry about.

The scarf shot out again, wrapping around his waist tightly. "You have got to be kidding me." He sighed, turning, pulled by the momentum of a tug on the scarf.

Eraserhead pulled him in closer.

His hand reached Izuku's face, slowly, trying to get a grip.

The hand pulled harshly on his mask.

Izuku's claws extended.

Let's see how much Eraserhead liked playing with this cat.