Chapter Text
It was exactly eleven twenty one a.m, right in the middle of worship when Richie noticed him. Well, the first time he really noticed. Pretty little mouth pressed to the mic, a sweet kiss with a sweet melody streaming from that pretty little body. Mesmerizing fingers flew up and down the neck of a guitar, playing a religious tune, but those fingers looked like they could make Richie a religious man if used correctly.
Cute, cute, cute, Richie thought. Church had never been his thing, but he thought that he would like to worship the pretty boy on the worship team. Eddie Kaspbrak, the boy that also happened to be the pastor’s son.
He went from his half hearted singing and swaying to standing stock-still, silently fixated on Eddie. Now, he knew from experience that Eddie kept up the most innocent image he could, but happened to also be the most foul-mouthed, judgmental little prick he’d ever met. Which was saying something, because he himself happened to be a bit of a foul-mouthed, judgmental, not so little prick himself.
The funniest thing of all was that he’d never truly noticed Eddie. Six years at the church with Richie seeing him nearly every Sunday and every holiday service, but he’d never actually seen him before today. Sure, they had their little bit of history, and sure the guy might still hate him, but now Richie was thinking.
I want that one.
A guy in front of him kept shifting, and honestly, Richie didn’t even know people came in this dude’s size. At 5’11” and still growing, he usually didn’t have this problem, but he’d apparently decided to stand behind Goliath himself. Where the fuck was David when you needed him? Every time the guy moved, he blocked Richie’s view of Eddie, which resulted in him having to lean in the opposite direction the man did, just to keep an eye on the pretty boy with the pretty lips and mesmerizing fingers.
Somewhere around the fifth time Richie moved, his mom shot him a withering glare that just screamed stop that or I’ll kill you. Begrudgingly, he stopped, because he really did value his life and dying at his mother’s hand just didn’t sound all that appealing to him.
As worship wound down, Eddie took off his guitar and walked off the stage, going to sit in the front row instead of leaving for the lounge as he usually did. Alright, that was a bit strange, but Richie didn’t mind. It only meant he had more time to sit and stare like a dumbass. He must have stared a bit too hard, because Eddie turned suddenly, looking him straight in the eye. Did he know what Richie was thinking? Maybe he was a mind reader and knew that Richie wanted to kiss him ‘til they were both dizzy off it, that he wanted to suck marks into that smooth, unblemished skin of his. Maybe he knew all of that, and maybe he wanted it too.
Or maybe he doesn’t , Richie thought as Eddie turned up his nose and sneered at him, looking back to the stage.
Speaking of the stage, the stairs leading up to it creaked as the great pastor Sonia Kaspbrak made her way up to the podium. Richie winced at his own thoughts, remembering exactly what the service was going to be about. It was an amazing week for him and most of his friends, but for everyone in the church it was likely a whole-ass tragedy.
You see, on June 26th, 2015, gay marriage had been legalized for the United States. The Supreme Court released the ultimate ‘fuck you’ to homophobes everywhere and struck down all of the state bans barring them damn homos from getting married, something that had brought Richie to tears. The bad news was that on June 28th, 2015, Sonia Kaspbrak was about to unleash the homophobic sermon of all homophobic sermons, he just knew it.
He’d been at the church for too long to not know how much she hated “The Gays” and anyone “confused about their gender”. No, not dislike, she absolutely hated them. She must have had those mind reading skills he was thinking about earlier, because she also happened to hate him. The only thing Sonia hated more than anyone LGBT was Richie being anywhere near her precious little Eddie. The woman had no idea just how gay Richie was, but sometimes it felt like she just knew .
“Good morning, everyone,” Sonia’s voice rang out, microphone screeching thanks to the useless tech people. Ah well, microphone feedback was music to his ears compared to her voice. “As you may know, Friday brought this country a great, sinful tragedy.”
The congregation muttered their disgust and agreement, his mother nodding and curling her lip. He nodded along, tears filling his eyes at his own betrayal. The only sin he was committing was lying to the whole room, lying about the person he really was.
“Yes, yes. Homosexuality was legalized, and the idea of traditional marriage has been destroyed by the sinners in this country. It is no longer considered one man and one woman, but a man and a man or a woman and a woman,” The mic screamed again, and a few people in the crowd grumbled, looking up at the tech booth in annoyance. “What next, will the joining of man and animal be legalized? A child and an adult? We, as a country, are regressing, becoming the new Sodom and Gomorrah!”
More agreement from the church, a few people shouting “ Amen!” another few clapping. His mother was another few, and he let out a weak “ Amen”. Looking over, he found Eddie staring up at Sonia blankly, not a single emotion on his face. Richie wondered if he was even there right then. He knew that he sure as shit wouldn’t be.
“You may all be asking, ‘ What do we do now? How do we stop all of these sinners?’ Well, the answer is to pray over these...people,” The way she paused before people made Richie’s blood boil. “They can change, they can become good and sane again!”
If Richie hadn’t been ready to tear this woman to shreds before, he certainly was now.
“We have a lovely testimony of a reformed homosexual today, one that I’m sure will warm your hearts,” His heart dropped to his feet. Reformed homosexual? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? “Eddie, sweetie, come on up here!”
Blood icing over, he dragged his eyes over to Eddie’s shaking figure. Staring at his mother like a deer in headlights, Eddie slowly got up. Richie blinked and he’d already regained his composure, a sugary sweet smile spread across his face as he bounded up the stairs to give his mom a hug. Ignoring the shocked and somewhat outraged muttering of the crowd, he picked up a mic, beaming at Sonia. He spoke in the steadiest voice Richie had ever heard, especially for someone looking at such an angry and hateful crowd.
“I know this may be surprising, but bear with me,” The church was tense, but there were a few people welcoming him, one of which was Richie. He could have sworn that Eddie glanced at him for just a second. “I’m here to tell you all how my mommy and God saved my life from sin.”
Richie dug his nails into his palms in order to stifle a laugh. This kid had to be the only teenager known to mankind that still referred to his mom as “ mommy” . At the same time, his heart somehow sank deeper, somewhere down past his feet and into the core of the earth.
He could safely say that he had never seen someone’s eyes look as miserable as Eddie’s did through the sermon, speaking of the conversion therapy he’d undergone and just how fantastic it had been for him. The kid went on for at least twenty minutes, detailing the wonders of the therapy and how it had saved him and countless other children.
But his eyes.
Those were the eyes of someone who wanted to get the fuck out of there immediately, whose chest felt like it was about to cave in. That was not the face of someone thankful to their mother, they were the eyes of a resentful, trapped little boy with no way out. Richie’s heart squeezed , making him feel sick to his stomach.
Your fault, your fault, your fault
“Hey ma, I’m going to go get some coffee. Want anything?” He whispered, already getting up.
“Nothing for me.” She said absentmindedly, hyperfocused on Eddie, who happened to be finishing up.
Practically running out of the main sanctuary, Richie made a beeline for the coffee and tried tuning out Eddie’s voice over the speakers. He couldn’t stand to hear any more of this shit.
“Thank you all for helping me in my journey, and thank God for using his power to save me. Thank you,” Eddie’s voice said, the church cheering and amen’ s ringing out from here, there, everywhere.
It wasn’t but a minute before the doors to the sanctuary burst open and Eddie ran out, going straight into the bathroom, his breaths coming hard and fast.
Oh, well shit.
He had two options right now. One: he got his coffee and went right back to his mom to listen in on the next hour of sermon, or two: he went into the bathroom after Eddie and got chewed the fuck out by his mom later.
Option two was sounding pretty great, and with the faint sound of retching coming from the bathroom, he was pretty sure that’s what he was going for. Grabbing some tea and a mint, he made his way over to the bathroom, hoping he didn’t fuck all this up.
“Eddie?” He called out to the seemingly empty bathroom. “I just wanted to say that what happened to you is really fucking shitty and I’m sorry. So, yeah, I brought some tea and I’ll just leave it here- holy fuck !”
Screaming, Richie nearly threw both drinks across the bathroom. Eddie was standing right behind him, tears streaming down his cheeks, eyes red and puffy. “Watch where you’re fucking swinging that, you could have burned me!”
“Yeah? Then how about you don’t hide in the shadows and scare the shit out of me?”
“Aren’t you trying to make me feel better? Because this isn’t helping,” Oh, right. Eddie sniffled, eyes still glossy. He looked more pissed than sad right now, and he wasn’t sure if that was an improvement or not. At least it was a distraction, Richie told himself. “What kind of tea?”
“Tea?” Richie said dumbly.
“Tea, stupid. The one you’re holding right now.”
“What if I said it wasn’t tea?”
“The string from the teabag is literally hanging from the side, you fucking moron,” Eddie said, annoyance obvious in his tone. “What kind?”
“Chamomile. It’s for you,” Holding it out as one would an olive branch, Richie hoped he would take it from him. “My mom says it soothes the nerves, but it’s really hot so be careful.”
Snatching it from Richie’s hand, Eddie stared at it as if it was going to bite him before taking a cautious sip and sighing, tired eyes sliding shut in contentment. “That’s good. Thank you.”
“A mint too, for the throwing up.”
“How’d you-” Eddie asked, panicked, before going back to his church boy smile. “I wasn’t throwing up, don’t worry about me.”
“I could hear you when I was making my coffee,” He responded flatly, unsure why the fake smile put him off as much as it did. Even if it wasn’t positive, he preferred the annoyed look to this smile. “Just take the damn mint, Eds.”
“Don’t call me that,” The smile was gone, replaced with a caged animal look. “Did anyone else hear?”
“No, just my gay ass,” At that moment, Richie decided he was going to push some buttons, see how bad the situation was. “Nice performance up there, didja actually mean any of it?”
“Shut the fuck up, I meant every word,” Voice rising, Richie realized he’d not only struck a nerve, but he may have also greatly overstepped. “I’m healed and you’re sick , Richie.”
“So you do remember my name!”
“Fuck you,” Eddie spat.
“Come on, it’s been six years. You can’t still hate me,” He lied, knowing full well that if he were in Eddie’s shoes, he would fucking hate himself too.
“Do you know what you caused? What I had to do because of you?” Setting the tea down, Eddie took a step, two steps closer to him. Voice low and dangerous, Richie thought he may have fucked up. “Everything I said up there was because of you. Some tea and a mint won’t do jack shit to fix that.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-” But he did know, didn’t he? He knew that it was his fault, that one little kiss had been the thing to fuck this all up. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah?” Stepping right up to Richie’s face, Eddie only had to whisper. “So am I.”
“If you’re so sorry, then stop looking down at my lips,” He breathed, looking Eddie right in the eye.
Stumbling back, Eddie ran into a decorative table, almost knocking over the flowers sitting pretty on top of it. The glare thrown at Richie was one that was so intense it almost actually burned him.
“You’re sick, Richie. Get help.”
With that, he was left in a bathroom alone with his coffee and Eddie’s tea. He noticed that he’d taken the mint.
That one , Richie thought. I want that one.