Chapter Text
“Peter, it’s not the end of the world!” May sighs as she leans back into the couch cushions.
“Yes, it is!” Peter whines. “I have to miss a whole day of school just to get some teeth out! I’m telling you, they don’t even hurt!”
“Really?” May says. “So eat an apple right now.”
“A-an apple?” Peter gulps.
“Yeah, eat a hard, crunchy Granny Smith apple. Right now.” May says.
“I can eat an apple.” Peter scoffs as he grabs an apple from the fruit bowl. “Just gotta wash it first. With soap.”
“But you always eat unwashed apples.” May innocently says. “You always say it gives it that ‘rugged edge.’”
“I just wanna be safe, you know? E. coli is coming back, y’know.” Peter says as he thoroughly rinses the apple under the faucet.
“You gonna eat it now?” May asks after a minute.
“Yeah,” Peter says. “Just waiting for it to dry.”
“Peter, just admit defeat and let Tony get Mr. Davison to take them out!” May says.
“I don’t need them taken out, it’ll be fine! You can go to Pennsylvania tomorrow morning and I’ll be here, with Tony, and ALL of my teeth!” Peter says.
”Just admit you need your teeth taken out! I can tell you’re in pain! You whimper when you clench your jaw too hard!” May responds.
“There’s nothing to admit, I’m fine!” Peter whines before biting into the apple.
“How you feeling?” May asks as she watches Peter’s face scrunch in pain.
“Can I spit it out now?” Peter mumbles.
“Uh huh.” May says as Peter spits the chewed pieces into his hand.
“You can call Tony now.” Peter says after throwing the bitten apple into the garbage.
-• the next morning •-
Peter wakes up to his phone buzzing. He doesn’t even look at the contact name as he presses the answer button.
“H’llo?” He groans out as he tightly wraps his comforter over his shoulders.
“You ready for today?” Tony asks.
Peter drops his head into his pillow and loudly groans.
“I’m gonna take that as a no. C’mon, I’m outside.” Tony says.
“Don’t w’nna get dr’ssed.” Peter mumbles.
“So just come in your pj’s. Who’s gonna care?” Tony says.
“I care, I have dignity.” Peter says as he flips over.
“Your dignity is about to be extremely shredded. Now, hurry up, Happy’s in a grumpy mood because I’m making him late to his coffee date with your aunt.” Tony says.
“It’s not a date!” Happy yells before the phone is hung up.
-•five minutes later•-
Peter shuffles into the car before tightening his hoodie strings.
“Going for the tormented teen look?” Tony asks. “Thought that ended in 2016.”
“You woke me up at seven a.m.” Peter grumbles before resting his head on Tony’s shoulder.
Tony wraps an arm around Peter’s shoulders. “Early birds gotta get that worm.”
“Worms are gross.” Peter mumbles as the car pulls away from the curb.
Tony chuckles. “The Zimbabweans would disagree.”
-•-
“Petie Pie, c’mon.” Tony says, gently shaking Peter awake. Peter squints up at Tony before he cuddles into his side.
“I wanna sleeeeep.” Peter whines, bringing a hoodie paw to rub his eyes.
“You’ll be able to once you get the anesthesia, which is inside. So, we need to get out of the car to get there.” Tony says.
“Please don’t make me go.” Peter says, pouting up at Tony.
“Awww,” Tony coos, looking like he’s about to crack before he speaks again. “Get out of my car.”
“No fair!” Peter whines as he drags his feet across the concrete.
“I think this is the most fair situation ever.” Tony says as he walks beside Peter.
“I have to miss decathlon practice to get my stupid teeth pulled. How is that fair?” Peter asks.
“Would you like to go to practice all loopy and out of your mind?” Tony asks.
“No.” Peter sheepishly says.
“So, I think it’s time for us to remove some teeth.” Tony says.
-• in the medical bay •-
“Why can’t you do it, again?” Peter asks as the nurse places an IV into Peter’s arm.
“I told you, I don’t have a dentistry PhD.” Bruce says.
“So get one.” Peter says before turning to Mr. Davison. “No offense.”
Mr. Davison chuckles. “None taken. It’s understandable to be more comfortable with someone you know doing the procedure.”
“Petie, you’ll be fine. You just gotta breathe and count, that’s not that hard.” Tony says.
“Count from what? 100? 500? 1000? Infinity?” Peter asks.
“10.” Tony says after a beat of silence.
“Oh.” Peter says, sinking into the chair. “That doesn’t seem so hard.”
“They’re not gonna make you solve a piecewise function before you’re going to sleep.” Tony says with a chuckle.
“Piecewise functions are so easy, it’s just abo-“ Peter rambles before the anesthesiologist walks in.
“Okay, it’s almost time.” She says, holding up the needle.
Peter gulps before looking at Tony. “Y’know, maybe I should just do this another day. There’s still time for me to go to school, I’ll just need a late pass.”
Tony runs a hand through Peter’s hair. “Bubba, it’s time.”
“Why is my body failing me so much?” Peter asks. “First my appendix, and now my wisdom teeth? What’s next, my femur?”
“Pete, you’re stressing yourself out. I can see your forehead vein.” Tony says.
Peter slaps a hand over his forehead. “Aw, man!”
“It looks like a foot.” The anesthesiologist comments with a laugh.
“This is so humiliating!” Peter whines as Mr. Davison presses a button and leans Peter’s chair back.
“Peter, relax.” The dentist says as he motions for the anesthesiologist to inject his IV. “I’m gonna need you to count back from ten, okay.”
“Uh huh.” Peter says as he feels his body relax. Tony’s hand is really soft, Peter thinks as Tony continues to comb through Peter’s hair with his hand.
“Ten, n’ne, e-eight, s’v’n, s-si...” Peter says before he’s pulled into a deep sleep.
-•-
The procedure goes well, and after an hour and a half, Mr. Davison walks out into the hallway.
“He’s all done.” He says, peeling off his gloves.
Tony and Bruce stand up from their seats.
“How is he?” Tony asks.
“He’s fine, the surgery went well. We just had to give him a higher dosage of morphine because of his metabolism, so he’s gonna be more dazed.” Mr. Davison says.
“Now, I really can’t wait to see him.” Tony says, causing a laugh out of the three.
“Just keep him hydrated and make sure to clean his stitches well with saline solution on a gauze pad three times a day.” Mr. Davison responds. “Would you like to see him now?”
“Yes, please.” Bruce says as the three walk to the operating room.
Mr. Davison pulls back a curtain to reveal Peter lying on a bed as a nurse sits next to him.
“Oh, HI G’YS!” Peter shouts, eyes glazed and wide as he turns to Tony and Bruce.
“Hey, Pete? How do you feel?” Bruce asks.
“Like a m’ll’on BUCKS! Th’s is GREAT!” Peter says, hand flopping out to grasp Tony’s forearm.
“We just need to monitor his vitals for thirty minutes to make sure everything’s stable, then he’s free to go.” The nurse says as she stands up.
“Thank you so much for doing this.” Tony says.
“It’s my pleasure. He’s a delight.” The nurse smiles before waving to Peter. “Bye, Peter!”
“Bye, As’a!” Peter says as the nurse walks away. “That was As’a! She’s so n’ce!”
“She seems ni-“ Tony starts before Peter interrupts him.
“Everyone’s so N’CE!” Peter continues, tears coming to his eyes.
“Peter, what’s wrong?” Bruce asks.
“Everyone’s so k’nd to me, l’ke the denti’t, As’a, you, Tony, May, Happy, a-and MJ n’ Ned, and the team, and they’re just so sweet!” Peter sobs.
“Oh, Petie.” Tony says, moving to wrap an arm around Peter’s shoulders. “It’s okay, we’re all nice because we love you.”
“I- I know! N’ I love YOU guys, and you’ll never know that!” Peter continues.
“We know you love us, Peter. Even if you don’t say it, your actions say it.” Bruce says.
“M-my act’ons?” Peter hiccups, looking up at Bruce.
“Yeah, what you do shows how you love us, like what you do for others.” Bruce says.
“What d’d Tony eat‘ng your cheesecake say about h’m?” Peter innocently asks.
“Heh heh heh, HA HA HA, Pete, maybe it’s time to take a nap.” Tony awkwardly chuckles, pulling his blanket up to his chin.
“Tony-“ Bruce starts.
“We should all just sleep and forget what was said just now!” Tony chuckles, walking to turn off the light. “Goodnight!”
-•-
“Now remember, Peter, you have to get keep your gauze in for a while. Also, I have to clean your stitches twice today.” Tony says as he wheels Peter down the hallway.
“Why ‘m I in a wheelcha’r?” Peter asks, trying to turn his head to look at Tony.
“Because, you tried walking over to me and you nearly fell like a rag doll. I was three feet away.” Tony says.
“Where’s Bruce?” Peter asks.
“He had to do a study. Plus, after your little comment earlier, he’s a bit mad at me.” Tony says with a laugh.
“’m sorry.” Peter sullenly says, slumping in the seat.
“No, no, no, it’s not your fault.” Tony says, stopping the wheelchair to look at Peter. “You did nothing wrong, Peter.”
“You nev’r call me Peter.” Peter whispers, head hung down.
“I only call you Peter when I want you to pay attention to me. Like right now.” Tony says, placing a finger under Peter’s chin. “Peter, look at me.”
Peter tips his head up, glazed eyes looking up at Tony.
“It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.” Tony says.
“Are you sur’?” Peter asks. “I don’t want ‘im to be mad a’ me.”
“Pete, he’s mad at me for ‘disrespecting the rules of the fridge’ and ‘disregarding labels’. He would never be mad at you.” Tony says.
“Okay!” Peter says, mood changing as he giggles.
“Alright then.” Tony says, shaking his head as he continues to wheel Peter to the lounge room.
-• in the lounge room •-
“So, what movie do you want to watch?” Tony asks.
“Moana!” Peter yells.
“We’ve seen that three times this month.” Tony says.
“But ‘t’s good.” Peter says, puppy eyes looking up at Tony.
“Fine.” Tony says. “FRIDAY, play Moana, please.”
“Right away, boss.” FRIDAY says, as a TV descends from the ceiling and starts up.
Peter turns to Tony as he sits on the couch. “I want ‘ce cream.”
“Pete, you can’t have solid foods ‘til later. How about some applesauce?” Tony says.
“W’ll you feed i’ to me?” Peter asks.
“You have opposable thumbs.” Tony says, standing up to walk to the fridge.
“But I-I’m ‘njured.” Peter says, voice quivering.
Tony walks back in with a cup of applesauce and a spoon. “Don’t do this to me.”
“Do what?” Peter asks, tilting his head.
Tony sighs. “Fine. But if someone walks in, you broke your thumbs.”
“Wha’ thumbs?” Peter asks.
“I’ll take it.” Tony says.
-•-
“Hey, Tony, have you seen Peter? We were wondering if he wanted to-“ Steve says as he walks in with Natasha, Sam, and Bucky. The four pause as they see Peter hysterically sobbing as Tony sits calmly on the carpet with a syringe and a gauze pad.
“Hey, guys.” Tony nonchalantly says. “Peter can’t hang out right now, he’s a bit busy.”
“What’s wrong?” Natasha asks, already walking over to Peter to comfort him.
“Someone got his wisdom teeth out today, and someone doesn’t want me to clean his stitches up.” Tony says.
“‘t’s gonna hurt!” Peter cries.
“Bubba, it feels just like water. It’s literally made of salt and water.” Tony says, trying to soothe the teen.
“Salt burns!” Peter cries.
“маленький паук, you need to get them cleaned.” Natasha says as Steve and Sam sit on the carpet with him.
“Yeah, Peter, they need to stay clean so they can heal properly.” Bucky says, sitting on the couch.
Natasha rocks Peter in her arms. “It’s okay, it’ll be like a shot, over as soon as you know it.”
“But then he has to d-do i’ aga’n ton’ght!” Peter hiccups.
“Well then, we’ll be there for that one too.” Natasha says as the three nod.
“Prom’se?” Peter asks.
“Cross my heart, hope to die.” Natasha says, moving an arm to cross a finger over her heart.
“Stick a needle in my eye.” Steve continues with a smile.
“Okay.” Peter says after a moment. “I’ll do it.”
“Do you wanna hold my hand?” Natasha asks.
Peter responds with a nod.
“Okay, Pete, you’re just gonna have to lean your head back for me.” Tony says as he pours some saline solution onto a gauze pad.
“Uh huh.” Peter says, opening his mouth and tilting his head back.
“Okay, I’m starting…now.” Tony says as Natasha squeezes his hand.
“You’re doing great, Queens.” Steve says.
“Just a few more, малыш.” Natasha says.
“And... done. You did so well.” Tony says.
Peter smiles. “That was easy.”
“I told you!” Tony sighs, falling back onto the carpet.
-•-
After some very good convincing, the six are sitting in the lounge room watching Coco, with Peter’s head in Natasha lap and his body in Tony and Steve’s laps.
“What color ‘s the sky, m’ amour, m’ amour,” Peter says with the music on the TV. “, you tell me that i’s red, m’ amour, m’ amour...”
“You’re a pretty good singer, huh, малыш?” Natasha asks, running her fingers through Peter’s head.
“You sh’ld’ve heard T’ny in the shower.” Peter says before letting out a yawn.
“Tony?” Steve asks, turning to his right. “I never knew you could sing.”
“I don’t, I have no clue what he’s talking about.” Tony says, keeping his eyes on the movie.
“Whadd’you mean, you were s’ng’ng that song dur’ng breakfast last week, n’ you sang me an old lullaby wh’n l was had a n’ghtmare, n’ there w’s the time—“ Peter rambles before Tony interrupts him.
“Pete, I’m sure everyone would love to hear about me and my hypothetical singing, but we’re watching a movie right now.” Tony says.
“It can wait. FRIDAY, pause the movie.” Bucky says.
“No, no, baby girl, play the movie.” Tony says before the movie resumes.
“FRIDAY, pause the movie, please.” Natasha says as the movie pauses yet again. “Tony, you know you can sing.”
“Nat, this isn’t the time.” Tony says, shooting her a look.
Natasha returns the look before saying, “Yeah, Tony’s a great singer. I heard him sing a few times since we met.”
Tony groans out loud. “Really?”
“How come I never knew this?” Steve asks.
“It wasn’t really something for people to figure out, especially not when I’m taking care of my kid.” Tony responds.
Peter gasps. “You think ‘m your K’D?!”
“Bubba, we’ve established this. Now, can we PLEASE go back to watching the movie before I have to clean the stitches again? Actually, Nat, can you check for me, please?” Tony says.
“Peter, can you open your mouth for me, please?” Natasha asks, hand gently cradling Peter’s jaw.
“Uh huh.” Peter says before opening his mouth.
Natasha looks into his mouth before speaking again. “Yeah, you might wanna get the saline solution again, it’s kinda bloody back there.”
“Okay, that shouldn’t be happening. I’ll be right back.” Tony says, lifting Peter’s legs off of him to get up.
The five wait for Tony to leave before they turn to Peter.
“So?” Steve asks.
“Wh’t?” Peter says. “You guys a’e look’ng at me funny, I don’ l’ke i’.”
“Can Tony sing?” Bucky asks.
“Oh, yeah, he’s a r’lly goo- oh, hi, Tony!” Peter says, looking at the back of the couch.
“Hey, there, buddy. Couldn’t help but hear EVERYONE ASKING IRRELEVANT QUESTIONS.” Tony says, glaring at the four.
“We didn’t even ask anything!” Sam says.
“Uh huh. So why does Steve have that look in his eye, like he’s gonna use some newfound information against me?” Tony asks, crossing his arms.
“That was one time , and I said I was sorry!” Steve says.
“That doesn’t change the fact that everyone knows what happened!” Tony says.
“Wha’ happened?” Peter asks.
Tony says, “Don’t worry about it.”, at the same time Steve says, “It’s a long story.”
The two glare at each other before Tony turns to Peter. “Okayyyy, Pete, we gotta do this again. Nat, hold him while he cries. Sam, hold his feet down. He’s a kicker.” Tony says.
“‘M not gonna CRY!” Peter says.
“So you don’t mind me taking the syringe out now?” Tony asks.
“Nuh uh.” Peter says, shaking his head.
“Why are we using a syringe anyways?” Bucky asks.
“Because why spend an hour boiling salt water when you could get it in a syringe?” Tony asks before he pulls out the syringe and Peter screams.
“He’s g’nna hurt me!” Peter cries, hiding in Natasha’s stomach.
“малыш, he’d never do that. We just wanna make sure your sutures don’t get infected.” Natasha says, rubbing Peter’s back.
“It won’t hurt at all.” Sam says. “It’ll be over before you know it.”
“So why ‘s ‘t po’nty?” Peter asks.
“I’m only using it to get the solution on the gauze pad. I promise I won’t prick you. It’ll be over in a heartbeat.” Tony says.
“Okay, but hurry up.” Peter says before leaning his head back and opening his mouth.
Tony chuckles. “Someone’s grouchy.”
Peter shoots a weak glare at him as the three laugh.
“Okay, you’re done, bubba.” Tony says.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Natasha asks.
“No.” Peter quietly says.
“Well, it looks like it’s time for someone to take their medication.” Tony says.
“C’n I f’nish the mov’e firs’?” Peter asks, flashing Tony puppy dog eyes.
“Yeah, does he have to go now?” Bucky asks before everyone looks at him. “What? It’s the good part.”
Tony’s about to say something before Peter yawns loudly, drawing everyone’s attention to him. “I wan’ brunch.”
“It’s not even noon yet, oh my god.” Tony says after looking at his watch, his head resting in his hands. “It feels like it’s been forever.”
“C’n I get a m’mosa?” Peter asks.
Tony lifts his head up. “You’re fucking sixteen.”
“Language.” Steve says, which Tony responds to with a scoff. “Force of habit.”
“You’re still a 30s guy, huh.” Tony says in a sarcastic tone.
“Look, you’re clearly tired. So, let us take him off your hands while you rest. We got this.” Steve responds, ignoring Tony’s comment.
“We do?” Bucky and Sam ask.
“You do?” Tony asks.
“Yeah, it’ll be fine. How hard can it be to take care of a teenager?” Steve says.