Chapter Text
1 — THE DULLNESS
He stared into the darkness, letting the cold breeze from the evening air enter his room with no warning. The window was wide open, though he had no intention of closing it.
There were a lot of things in his mind. It had been fifteen days ever since the incident, and he hadn't seen anyone since. Sometimes Chan or Jisung would come to visit, but it would only last for five to ten minutes.
Changbin wasn't sure if it was because they didn't want to bother him too much or if it was because the two of them were too busy to stay with him for too long. He was convinced it was the latter.
All his other classmates told him that he would eventually forget everything he remembered about the incident. Changbin wasn't sure about that.
"Binnie, I'm sorry—"
"No!" Changbin yelled, pressing his hands against his ears. "It can't be! T-that's not true. You're lying. This can't be happening to us."
The screams were deafening, and everything around him was a blur. Changbin’s hands were sweaty, and his shirt was already soaking wet because of the mixture of sweat and tears.
A strong breeze suddenly entered Changbin's room, sending the pile of papers on his desk to the floor. He didn't budge.
"I told you to close your windows when it strikes 6 o‘ clock, remember?" Younghyun sighed, picking up the scattered pieces of paper on the floor after getting out of Changbin's bathroom. He made his way towards the window after placing them back on the desk.
"Leave it be," Changbin said, getting up in the process. "I don't care if it gets cold."
"You'll get colds," Younghyun rolled his eyes as he tried to shut the window. He groaned. "Binnie, it's stuck again. A little help would do."
He made his way to Younghyun, who was standing in front of the open window, looking outside the quiet neighborhood. "I had this fixed, remember? That day before Hyunjin's performance?"
Younghyun lowered his gaze. "I guess I'll leave it open then."
The wind blew against Changbin’s hair, messing it up in the process. "Seriously. I'm doing fine." The truth was that he wasn't. Changbin could feel his heart pounding against his chest, he could feel his hands getting sweaty, and he could feel his breath shaking.
Younghyun shook his head, sitting on the window frame. "Doesn't look like it, honestly. How many times have you been out?"
"Fine, but I will be okay," Changbin said with a small smile, ignoring the question. "Trust me."
Younghyun playfully punched changbin's arm. "Hey, I haven't seen you smile in a while."
He suddenly frowned after being told that he was smiling. "Huh? What smile? I don't see a smile."
"You can't fool me, Seo Changbin," Younghyun laughed. A moment of silence consumed the two friends. It was a comfortable silence, and Changbin looked out his window. The light in Jeongin's room was still switched on.
He sighed. "He forgot to switch it off again."
Jeongin lived across from Changbin's house. The younger boy always seemed to bring around the sun with him. Changbin appreciated Jeongin's presence despite being annoyed by the boy's unnecessary optimism at times. But lately, due to being isolated in his room, and the constant darkness in his life for the past few days, Changbin missed Jeongin's annoying ways and most of all, the sunshine he brought around with him.
Everyone needed Jeongin's sunshine after what happened. Changbin wondered when he'd be able to witness it again.
"How many times do I have to tell him to switch his light off before hitting the hay?" Changbin groaned. "And he complains about it all the time."
"Maybe you should check up on him," Younghyun said, putting a hand on Changbin's shoulder. "He’s… hard to read sometimes."
Changbin sighed, finally closing the window. "He'd only listen to seungmin."
Another silence.
"I'm still mad at you."
Younghyun let out a short laugh. "No you're not."
"Of course I am," changbin said, walking over to his desk. He took a moment to look at the scratch papers he used for lyrics. "Here, write something on this piece of paper."
Younghyun followed, sitting on the chair by the desk. He then picked up Changbin's pen and wrote I’m right here on the paper. "There, are you happy now?"
Changbin shook his head as he made his way to his bed. He jumped, making a loud THUMP —. "I'm going crazy. I know I am."
Younghyun let out a small smile as he looked at his younger friend lying on his bed. "You can't go crazy, Binnie. You have to check up on the others."
The young prodigy let out a groan. "Of course it has to be me. It's always going to be me."
"You'll understand why, I promise. Take it all in, be aware of your surroundings, of them, especially. Maybe then you'll realize why you can't go crazy just yet."
"Younghyun?"
No answer.
"Alright, fine. leave me be for a while. I need to collect my thoughts before I really go insane."
The room stayed silent for a couple more minutes, and although Changbin felt that he was alone, he knew he wasn't.