Work Text:
the quiet tale of the temple of a thousand lights
“When I was a child my mom would make mooncakes, but they were pretty dry.” Xie Lian said, with his mouth full of pastry. Hua Cheng smiled. “It probably was because, most of the year, she didn’t even know where the kitchen was… Couldn’t cook to save her life, worst than me... Don’t laugh! I know I’m pretty bad.”
“Gege is fine.” Hua Cheng told him, sounding trustworthy and proper. “Only needs a little more practice.”
Xie Lian sighed and said, “So insincere!”, but it didn’t have any heat. As a scolding, wouldn’t make an infant feel chastised; they wouldn’t repent in a thousand years. Still, Hua Cheng always humoured him, and made sure to look appropriately full of regret.
“Mooncakes are really hard to make.” he said, after a while. They were inside the temple, by the windows; the moon was white and shiny and close, like a dream, or like the hall in the heavens where everyone would get together to watch the Everlasting Lanterns shine orange and red in the sky. “It’s impressive that a queen would endure such a boring task. Did you eat it every year?”
“No, never.” Xie Lian answered, laughing. “I was a pretty terrible child! I would only eat this and that, and demand it was made this way or that one, and to add insult to injury would carefully inspect everything before eating. I bet the royal cooks were all calling me tyrant behind my back, and it would be deserved. How could a child like this eat some dry, dubious-tasting mooncake? Still, she made some every year, and would eat them by herself… If she were still alive, I would for sure ask for some of them. My tastebuds are way better behaved now.”
“I’m sure it would make her happy.”
“Yeah.” Xie Lian smiled. “It would. Anyway, enough of this. Want some more?”
“Gege is so generous.” Hua Cheng praised, energetically, and Xie Lian blushed pink, even if he knew that he was mostly being teased. It’s this place, he thought to himself, choosing the road of self delusion, ready to swim the river of denial like a pro athlete, somewhere so beautiful, and made for me! Of course I’m weaker than usual.
“San Lang, can I ask you a question?”
“Uh? Of course. Everything you want to know, if I know the answer, then I will tell you; and if I don’t, then I’ll surely find out.”
“Was it worth it, building this temple? I mean…” he sighed, and looked at the beautiful ceiling, full of precious stones shining a milky way. “It must have taken so long, and be so hard.”
Hua Cheng went silent for the longest time, Xie Lian thought for sure he wouldn’t answer; being so, he was ready with seventy carefully chosen apologies and changes of subject when he heard a quiet, but sure, “I never doubted.”
“What?”
“I never doubted that I would meet gege again.” Hua Cheng said, very seriously, his handsome face half-hidden in the dark. The moon was kidnapped by some clouds, and they were alone at that temple; even the candles had long since burned to ashes. “And if when I find you, I hadn’t made good of my promise? How could I face gege then? I couldn’t dare. And I had already spent so long away.”
“I would want you even if you had never built me anything.” Xie Lian told him, earnestly, because it was true, and because it would make Hua Cheng smile. He didn’t like when it became like this between them, heavy with desperate promises and broken pasts that they could barely see each other in the middle of so many ifs. He would always make some bad joke or another, say anything at all to make Hua Cheng’s face look clearer, away from that unwanted, undeserved guilt. “I would want you even if you were just a small ghosts in the middle of the crowd.”
“Such bold words! Gege is feeling forward tonight. Is it the mooncake?”
Xie Lian said, again, “So insincere!”, and wished that he had a fan like Lady Wind Master so he could slap San Lang with it.
“Or is it the moon? It’s very romantic~”
Xie Lian didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. What could he say to this man? They were holding hands like teenagers, giggling and trading secrets in the dark; watching the stars and eating mooncake like they were so young and carefree, the last eight hundred years never happened, heaven and ghosts meaning nothing at all. Xie Lian didn’t know, should he wish that he had this life all the while? Or should he be grateful for all that happened, because they indeed met each other again down the road, and he sure as hell wouldn’t want to infringe the person he used to be on anyone, less of all Hua Cheng.
“I like it.” he muttered, quietly against San Lang’s shoulder, surrounded everywhere by the scent of flowers, death and pastry.
“This temple?”
“It too.” he smiled. “But I didn’t mean it like this.”
“Like what, then? Gege, you’re so full of mysteries today. Should I try to guess your secret meaning?” he poked at Xie Lian’s ribs, which was unfair, since he knew that Xie Lian was crazy ticklish since he was a baby, and had never ever got any better. “Should we try performative theater? Then there would be something fun to be watched in the heavens during those boring feasts.”
Xie Lian laughed and said, for the third time, “So insincere!”, but — as always — he didn’t really mean it. The diamonds were shining and the mooncakes were long gone; Xie Lian’s cheeks hurt from smiling, and he wasn’t sure when the candles had all gone out, or how long he and Hua Cheng were there, by that window, at that temple of a thousand lights.
“I mean our life, San Lang.” he told him. “I really, really like it.”
Hua Cheng smiled, his cheek touching the eyepatch and yes, for sure — they were meant to be, weren’t they?
“Well, gege. I really like it, too.”