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It starts, as all shitty things inevitably do, with Chloe making a comment no one cares about.
Marinette is dragging her feet to Bustier’s class after gym, having slept a total of two hours the night before, and all she wants is her bed.
She enters the classroom, half-asleep, and the first thing she hears is Chloe talking shit.
Usually, this is where Marinette would tune her out, because usually, Chloe is talking shit about her and Marinette stopped caring a while ago.
Except Chloe’s talking shit about Chat Noir.
Marinette has never wanted to commit murder this much in her life, and that says something, considering Lila is still lurking around.
She’s excessively protective of her partner, just as he is of her, and the fact that she’s not Ladybug right now doesn’t matter to her.
Chloe says, “That mangy cat is really more of a sidekick, and he can’t even do that right. Ladybug has a whole list of allies at her beck and call who could do way better than Chat Noir. Queen Bee is at the top of that list, of course.”
Marinette sees red. Tikki has to warn her to reign in her anger before she becomes a target for an Akuma.
Marinette very calmly walks up to Chloe’s desk, more awake than she’s been in days, and very calmly eviscerates the hell out of her. With her words.
“Queen Bee? Please, Ladybug would have to be crazy to put her back in action. Queen Bee’s nothing but a brat who whines and acts like she’s owed her miraculous when she didn’t even do anything to deserve it in the first place! Ladybug probably never even meant to give it to her, she probably stole it to begin with! Chat Noir is the most amazing, caring and charming superhero there is, and Ladybug would probably be having six nervous breakdowns a week without him!”
There’s a dead zone as Marinette comes to the end of her rant. She is suddenly very aware of all of her classmates’ eyes on her, including Adrien’s. He looks stunned, cheeks flushed and expression a strange mix of shock and…gratitude? Happiness? She’s confused by how awe-struck he is, he’s never looked at her like that before.
Her anger and adrenaline fading, Marinette resists the urge to make herself smaller. She stands her ground, because this is Chat Noir she’s defending, and she knows he’d stick up for her anytime.
She holds her head high, shoots Chloe one last parting look, and strides over to her seat.
Marinette lasts two seconds before she lays her forehead on her desk and groans. She’s too sleep-deprived for this.
“Did you really mean all that?”
Adrien’s voice startles her, she lifts her head up. “Huh?” She asks him.
He looks uncharacteristically serious, “Everything you said about Chat Noir, you really think that?”
“Of course I do,” She narrows her eyes at him. Future husband or not, no one is allowed to slander her kitty. “Do you disagree?”
“N-No, definitely not. He’s a cool guy,” Adrien hurries to say. His eyes are sparkling, a smile tugging at his lips. “I didn’t know you were such a big fan.”
Marinette is prepared to start a fan club and name herself the captain, if that’s what it takes to drill it into her kitty’s head that he’s important to her and Paris. “I’m the captain of the Chat Noir fan club.”
Once again, the awe-struck expression is back on his face. “R-Really? You like him…that much?”
Marinette frowns at how surprised he sounds, she knows a lot of people openly prefer Ladybug, but she didn’t think loving Chat Noir was that unpopular of an opinion. Why does Adrien look so surprised?
“I’ve held a lot of respect for him since he saved me from Evillustrator a while back,” Marinette says. “He’s smart and fun to be around, who wouldn’t like him?”
Adrien looks down at the floor, his voice wistful. “I just thought everyone liked Ladybug more, but the way you were talking, it sounded like—”
In a fit of craziness Marinette will blame on lack of sleep later, she leans across her desk, grabs Adrien’s hand, and when he looks up at her, she stares him dead in the eyes and says, “Ladybug is a punk ass bitch.”
Adrien nearly falls over in his chair, “She’s what?”
“You heard me,” Marinette is fed up with all the people waxing poetry about her alter ego. Why can’t anyone wax poetry about her? Or Chat Noir? “She’s a punk ass bitch. Chat Noir saves her butt half the time by sacrificing himself, and everyone in Paris acts like she’s the greatest thing since sliced bread, but she would have lost against half the Akumas she’s gone up against if it wasn’t for him.” Marinette feels herself getting heated, but she finds she can’t stop talking. “Where’s the equality? Where’s the justice?” She bangs her fist on her desk, “I swear one of these days I’m going to hire a skywriter to write Chat Noir deserves love across the sky.”
It takes her a second to notice the entire classroom has gone quiet again, because apparently, no one has heard of privacy or believes in respecting personal conversations. Her friends are all eavesdroppers.
Marinette realizes she’s still clutching Adrien’s hand. She yelps and snatches her hand back, plopping back in her seat. His eyes are the size of saucers.
“Um,” She says eloquently. Whatever burst of energy she had is fading fast, “Right then. Uh, so, yeah.” She says the first thing that pops into her head, “That is a nice shirt. Good quality fabric and stitching. Impeccable.” She gives him a thumbs-up, “Ten on ten would recommend wearing again.”
She then proceeds to nope the fuck out of there.
“Tikki, that was so embarrassing, I’m going to die.”
“Yeah,” Tikki sighs. “I can’t argue with that.”
Something Chloe said follows her home though—
Ladybug has a list of allies at her beck and call who could do way better than Chat Noir.
That’s obviously complete and utter nonsense, because Marinette couldn’t envision having anyone else as her partner—
She doesn’t think that, at all.
But what if, she’s horrified at the thought. What if Chat Noir thinks that?
The next time there’s an Akuma attack, the first thing Ladybug says to her partner is, “Chaton! You mean the world to me!”
Chat Noir nearly falls off a rooftop, “W-What?” He sputters.
“You’re amazing and important and I love having you as my partner!” She shouts, dodging a car the Akuma throws at her. “You’re so much better than Queen Bee!”
“Obviously, I knew that,” He says, but his bottom lip quivers, as though her words went straight to his heart and warmed it over. “I—thank you for the kind words, my Lady. What brought this on?”
“I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you as my other half and not someone like Chloe Bourgeois,” Ladybug looks directly at where she knows Nadja Chamack is filming and all of Paris is watching. “Chloe Bourgeois is the worst.”
“I—all of this is true, we know this.” Something shines in his eyes; his expression lights up as he looks at her. “I’m thankful to have you as my other half too, bugaboo. You make me feel invincible, like I can do anything.”
“Good. Always remember that,” Ladybug assumes a fighting stance, and Chat falls into position beside her, as in-sync as always. “Now, let’s defeat this Akuma quick. I’ve got finals to study for. Not that Hawkmoth cares.”
“How pawsitively inconsiderate of him!”
They defeat the Akuma in ten minutes flat.
Marinette leaves feeling confident that she’s reassured Chat about how irreplaceable he is to her.
Except the next Akuma battle, he throws himself in front of her. He does it again, and again, and again.
She doesn’t know how much more she can drill it into him that she loves him and he can’t keep doing this kind of thing to her.
Then, one day, he makes an offhand comment that sends her heart racing.
“If I ever get too hurt my Lady, or an Akuma pits me against you, promise me you’ll go to the guardian and pick another wielder to help you out. I hate the idea of you fighting these battles alone, even though I know you’re more than capable.”
Ladybug is so caught off guard she just stares at him open-mouthed for a good few seconds, “…What?” She shakes her head, forces her brain to work. “I don’t need to do that—I’ve finished battles on my own before.”
“Yes, and you’re amazing,” Chat Noir shoots her a flirty grin. “I fall madly in love with you a little more every day my Lady, and I know you can do anything you set your mind to, but the point is you don’t have to anymore. I know you have a lot of weight on your shoulders, and I’m trying to share the burden with you, but if I’m ever taken out of the fight, there are others who would love to fight beside you and help you out.”
She feels her throat constrict, something ugly curls in her stomach. She says, unthinkingly, “I don’t want anyone else.” She snaps, “I want you. I have you fighting battles with me, and I’d love it if you stopped taking yourself out of the fight the minute it looks like I’m going to get a paper cut or something, thank you very much.”
The minute the words leave her mouth, she knows it’s mean. It’s unfairly mean, he doesn’t do it on purpose, and she doesn’t want to belittle his sacrifices because they do always help her. He gives her the advantage against the Akuma, at his own expense, and she hates that but she can’t deny that she would do it too, if it were him in danger.
His ears droop. She hates herself.
She snags his wrist, pulling him against her. He tenses for a second before sagging in her arms, leaning his full weight on her. His arms come up and wrap around her tightly.
“I’m sorry chaton, that was unfair of me,” She apologizes. “I know you’re only doing what you think is best, but I get so scared every time you get hurt, and than I blame myself. I feel horrible, I hate fighting battles without you.”
“I’m sorry too, my Lady.” His voice is muffled against her hair, “I get terrified every time an Akuma sets its sights on you, or I see you about to get hurt. I can’t handle it, I have to protect you, and if that means putting myself in the way—I have to do it. I’m sorry it hurts you like this.”
I’m sorry it hurts you, he says. He doesn’t say, I’m sorry it hurts me.
He’s going to be the death of her, or she’s going to be the death of him. Whichever comes first.
She desperately hopes neither comes first.
The conversation between them sticks with her for weeks afterward.
On a sunny Friday morning, beautiful and warm with clear skies, six Akumas attack different locations in Paris. It’s coordinated, extremely worrying, and it sets Marinette’s teeth on edge.
Hawkmoth is getting smart. About time.
Marinette transforms immediately, knowing she’s going to miss a full day of school, and the knowledge just makes her angrier at Hawkmoth’s apparent lack of a life.
She meets up with Chat Noir somewhere near Montparnasse Tower, and the two of them start brainstorming a plan of action quickly.
She knows they’re going to have to split up to handle this, six Akumas is a whole different level of destruction, and they need to contain the fallout as much as possible.
But Marinette is still hesitant to suggest it, she and Chat Noir are at their best when they work in tandem. She knows it’s selfish, it’s unforgivably selfish, but she doesn’t want to split up.
She’ll be too distracted worrying about him to focus on the fight, and that’s dangerous. Any mistake she makes could get innocent people hurt.
Six Akumas, it’s unheard of.
“We can tackle the most destructive one first,” She decides, whipping out her yo-yo to check the updates on the Ladyblog. There’s a trail of damage across Paris, and the internet is full of people begging for her and Chat Noir’s help.
Ladybug flinches, feeling like she’s personally failing all of them. Chat Noir, as though reading her mind, lays a hand on her shoulder and sends her a reassuring smile.
She sends him a smile of her own, thinking viciously in her head, Fuck Hawkmoth. He can send out a million butterflies, she and Chat Noir will beat him every time.
She scans all the reports on the Ladyblog, her blood going cold when she reads a post saying that an Akuma calling herself Bloodsucker is holding an entire building hostage.
“The 4th Arrondissement, let’s go!” Ladybug throws out a line with her yo-yo, Chat Noir a half-step behind her. “An Akuma’s taken eighty hostages at the Hôtel de Ville!”
When she and Chat arrive on the scene, the Hôtel de Ville is in shambles. The building’s caved in, the ground is cracked and crumbling, there’s mounds of rubble and people screaming.
Bloodsucker turns out to be a humongous black widow spider, with razor-sharp fangs and blood-red eyes.
Ladybug goes to attack her, only to have to stop as the Akuma holds up an unconscious man, dangling him in front of her. Ladybug can’t risk it.
Bloodsucker smirks evilly at her and Chat, the purple butterfly symbol appearing. She nods at something Hawkmoth says and then she bites into the man’s neck.
Ladybug’s heart stops. Chat Noir yells something at the Akuma, but she doesn’t hear it. What the fuck.
“What the fuck,” She says, glaring daggers at the Akuma. “What the fuck, Hawkmoth. This is crazy, even for you!”
“Do you have a neck biting kink or something?” Chat Noir demands angrily, “This is going too far! Get your shits and giggles online like everybody else!”
“You—insolent brats! You dare taunt me!” The Akuma roars, tossing the man carelessly to the side. Luckily, he doesn’t hit the cement too hard, landing on a patch of grass instead. Ladybug lets out a breath of relief. “I’ll show you! I’m going to drain you dry!”
This is psychotic, even for Hawkmoth.
“I think he’s finally gone off the deep end,” Chat Noir whispers to her.
“Further off the deep end, you mean,” Ladybug replies. She brandishes her yo-yo, her eyes narrowing in on where she needs to land, the Akuma’s visible weak spots, where the Akumatized object might be. “We just have to step up our game. Go left, chaton. Aim for her joints, those are the only weakness I can see.”
She’s about to launch herself off the roof when he reaches out and grabs her hand, startling her. She stops and turns to look at him.
“Chaton?” She frowns at the unsure look on his face. “What’s wrong?”
“Before we fight Bloodsucker, maybe it’d be a good idea for you to go and ask the Guardian for back-up. Rena Rouge and Carapace are really good, and Viperion and Ryuko were a big help, last time. They could handle the other Akumas while we deal with Bloodsucker, that way we wouldn’t have to run all over the city trying to deal with everything by ourselves.”
His logic is sound, reasonable. She can’t argue with it. He’s right, it’s ridiculous of her to put the weight of six Akumas on both their shoulders, but—
His expression, something in it bothers her. She intertwines their fingers, bringing her other hand up to cup his chin and meet his eyes. There’s something else hidden there, it’s not just about needing back-up.
“While you make excellent points, mon chaton,” She says. “What’s really worrying you?”
He winces, and she gives herself a pat on the back. She hit the nail on the head. Her kitty is an open book to her, she’s gotten adept at reading his emotions and mannerisms. He understands her like no one else, too.
“Remember how we talked about me doing reckless things to protect you?”
She nods, as if she could forget.
“I’m scared something’s going to happen, and I’m going to do something risky. I can’t help it my Lady, if I feel like you’re in danger, I’m going to throw myself in the way. And six Akumas, that’s so much, that’s too much. You’re the strongest person I know, but I feel—like I’m going to mess up and you’re going to get hurt. It’s just, at least if we have more back-up, there are more people to protect you in case I screw up.” His eyes are downcast, his insecurities are on display for her to see. He’s usually never this vulnerable around her, never lets her see the cracks in his armor.
She feels horrible, like she’s been missing it. He’s always so good about reassuring her, and she hasn’t been doing the same for him.
She feels her resolve strengthen, she has faith in them, in him especially. He might not think it, but he could never fail her.
She needs to make him feel better, now.
“Fuck that noise,” Marinette says, and Chat’s gaze snaps up. “We don’t need back-up, and I certainly don’t need anyone else when I have the best partner in the world. We’re a two-person army, we can handle this, and we’ll humiliate Hawkmoth so thoroughly he’ll be embarrassed to leave his house for a month.”
She brings his hand to her lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. He blushes and the sight of it makes her smile, “Now, are you with me?” She grins.
Chat Noir darts forward and pulls her into a crushing embrace. “Always,” He promises, and she knows he means it.
He believes in them, and so does she.
It takes them two hours to defeat Bloodsucker.
It takes them two days to defeat the other five Akumas.
Maybe Marinette didn’t completely think this through.
After the last butterfly is purified and miraculous cure has been casted, Marinette is ready to sleep for a week. She’s been up for forty-eight hours straight.
She and Chat Noir crash on the Eiffel Tower. They fall asleep curled around one another, too exhausted and aching to fathom parting ways. She’s thankful for it, she doesn’t think she’d be able to sleep if he wasn’t there.
Over the course of two days, they had way too many close calls.
She almost lost him four times. She almost watched him drown.
He almost watched her get crushed under a collapsing building. She still remembers the way he screamed her name. There’s a reason he hasn’t let go of her hand since they defeated the last Akuma.
“I hate Hawkmoth so much,” She mutters to him. “He can suck my dick.”
“He can eat shit and die,” Chat Noir grumbles. “I’m going to tell him that when we see him next.”
“Hopefully, that won’t be for a while,” She presses a finger to his lips. “Shh. Don’t jinx it.”
When Marinette finally transforms back, after two days of being Ladybug, she enters her room, flops onto her bed, and sleeps.
Naturally, the moment her head hits the pillow is the moment her parents burst through her trap door and yell at her for an hour about how worried they were about her, they called the police, she was missing for two days, what the hell, Marinette—
Marinette doesn’t get to sleep. Her parents keep her glued to their side for the rest of the day.
Just when she thinks she’s escaped, that school will be a welcome reprieve, Tikki tells her to go hide in a bathroom stall before class because she needs to tell her something.
It turns out, Tikki just needs to rant.
“What were you thinking? Taking on six Akumas on your own!”
“I had Chat Noir,” Marinette protests, but Tikki steamrolls over her.
“You could’ve had Alya and Nino! Luka and Kagami! Even Max and Kim! But no, what do you no? You decide taking on six Akumas just the two of you is obviously the most reasonable answer! I swear Marinette, I—I have no words!”
Despite having no words, Tikki yells at her for the next forty minutes.
Marinette is late to class.
And the thing is, this wouldn’t be a problem, if it was just a one-time thing.
But it isn’t, it creates a pattern—
Hawkmoth is clearly getting stronger, more brazen, less cautious. He sends out multiple Akumas every few days, always within the same block of time, as if he penciled in a break in his daily schedule for some evildoing.
It gets Marinette thinking that he might have a day job that doesn’t involve enslaving innocent people.
The battles start growing longer, she and Chat Noir start getting hurt more. They start getting reckless.
Every time she gets hurt, her kitty turns to her, with eyes so sad her heart aches for him, and asks her if she wants to call on one of her allies.
He always says her allies. It bothers her immensely.
Every time, she’s quick to say no, he’s all that she needs.
Her words of encouragement never fail to make him smile.
Tikki tells her she’s being irresponsible with her own safety and with Chat’s, asking for help from another miraculous holder doesn’t mean the two of them aren’t great on their own.
But Marinette can’t forget that conversation they had on that rooftop, where Chat Noir talked about her replacing him so easily, like it was nothing.
She refuses to bring in anyone else. They helped her in the past, and she’s thankful for it, but she and her kitty were chosen for a reason.
“We’ve got everything handled,” Marinette reassures Tikki, shooting her a thumbs-up.
Tikki buries herself in Marinette’s pillow and screams.
Then one day, she wakes up, and Paris is burning to the ground.
Fu shows up at her house with the miraculous box in a freezer of all things.
Oh, hell to the no.
“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, pick an ally—”
“I have one, his name is Chat Noir.”
“You can trust to fight alongside you on this mission—”
“Yes, my beloved and trustworthy partner, Chat Noir.”
“Choose wisely—”
“Oh, look, I choose Chat Noir.”
Fu scrunches up his nose, “Paris is literally burning to the ground. I think you need help—”
“Chat Noir and I are fine,” In the background, she hears people screaming and buildings crumbling. “This is fine.”
Fu looks around uncertainly, “If you say so.”
“I do,” She declares confidently. She goes to find a hiding place to transform.
A week passes.
Paris is still burning.
“Hawkmoth!” Marinette yells at the Akuma, bleeding through her suit, the ends of her pigtails burnt, at the end of her rope. Her patience is gone. “I’m going to hunt you down to the ends of the earth, rip off your arms, and beat you with them!”
“What my Lady said!” Chat Noir hisses, blood darkening his suit, a giant gash across his chest that is giving her heart palpitations. He keeps saying he’s fine, but she’s still terrified.
They’ve been at this for seven days, it ends now.
“Clearly you two are out of your depth this time!” Bonfire laughs, lava leaking from his hideous mouth, he’s made up entirely of magma rock, which is near impenetrable. It’s the sole reason Marinette hasn’t managed to snag his Akumatized object yet. “Just give up and hand over your miraculous! You might as well wave the white flag of surrender!”
“The only thing we’re going to be waving is your head on a stick!” Chat Noir shouts threateningly.
Marinette feels a shiver run through her and nearly falls off the ledge she’s perched on.
Holy miraculous, that was attractive.
“My little kitty is becoming a badass,” She says admiringly, winking at him.
He smirks and dips into a bow, bringing her free hand to his lips and kissing it tenderly. “I’m learning from the best. My Lady is the most badass heroine I know.”
“Oh yeah? How many heroines do you know, huh?” She grins, flicking his bell playfully.
She only remembers the Akuma when Bonfire clears his throat uncomfortably, “Um, kids, can you…lighten up, please?” The purple butterfly symbol keeps flickering, are they making Hawkmoth uncomfortable?
“Also, can you quit it with the flirting and eye-fucking and save us, already?” A civilian yells, hiding behind an overturned car.
“Yeah!” Another civilian calls out, “It’s been a week, we’re tired of this shit! Get a room later, you two!”
“Hey!” Marinette frowns at the crowd of people watching them, are her and Chat Noir’s love lives really the only sources of entertainment in this city? “I don’t get paid enough for this, saving you all is a full-time job. Someone better start writing me checks!”
She bounds off the ledge and lands a hard kick to Bonfire’s face, cracking it in half.
“That’s my Lady!” Chat Noir cheers, following her lead. “Hey, quick question!”
“What?” She asks as he calls on his cataclysm. Their new plan is simple and straightforward, Chat is going to cataclysm Bonfire and when he’s a pile of dust, the Akuma will fly out.
Is using cataclysm on an Akuma victim unethical? Possibly. Are Ladybug and Chat Noir out of fucks to give? Definitely.
This has been the most stressful week of her life.
“Will you marry me?” He asks, his hand making contact with Bonfire’s head. The Akuma screams and then turns to dust.
The only thing louder than the Akuma’s scream is Ladybug’s scream.
“WHAT?” She demands incredulously. “You’re asking me this now?”
He grins sheepishly and shrugs. That stupid cat.
But, he’s her stupid cat.
She glances at all the civilians watching them and collectively holding their breath. Ladybug rolls her eyes; her love life really is their only source of entertainment.
Chat Noir waggles his eyebrows and shoots her a brilliant smile. The Akuma is getting away, she should probably cleanse it, but she finds that she can’t move.
What the hell, Marinette thinks. It’s not the worst decision she’s ever made.
She blames exhaustion for what she says next.
“Alright, mon chaton. I’ll marry you.”
“WHAT!” Chat Noir screeches, and then he faints. Three civilians who are watching the exchange faint with him.
She purifies the butterfly; a week’s worth of horrific damage disappears. Marinette is newly engaged.
“How do I get myself into messes like this?” She huffs, slinging her partner over her shoulders and running before the reporters show up.
She should’ve figured someone would have filmed Chat Noir proposing and her saying yes.
The news stations run stories about her and Chat Noir’s “epic romance” for the next three weeks.
She gets grounded for eternity upon her return home because technically, Marinette Dupain-Cheng has been missing for seven days.
She doesn’t tell her parents where she was, she also doesn’t tell them that she’s technically engaged.
When she walks into school the Monday after the worst week of her life, she gets bombarded by hugs and questions. She is as vague as humanly possible.
For some reason, Adrien is pale as a ghost, his eyes stare unseeingly at his notebook the entirety of Madam Bustier’s class.
Marinette nudges him under the desk, “Hey,” She whispers worriedly. “You okay?” Her newfound ability to form full sentences around him has really gone a long way in helping them get closer. She likes to think they’re real friends now, although she still harbours her crush on him, it’s manageable now.
He stares at her, mouth opening and closing like a dead fish. “I think I’m engaged,” Is all he says.
Marinette pauses, half of her is sad that she no longer has a chance with him, but the other half of her is extremely concerned. Adrien’s too young to get married.
“This isn’t a thing your father forced you into, right?” She inquires. She’s fully prepared to rain hellfire down on Gabriel Agreste if it is, favourite fashion designer or not.
“No,” Adrien shakes his head slowly. “This girl, she’s the love of my life. I proposed as like, a joke, because that’s how I handle feelings I have no clue what to do with. I expected her to say no because that’s what she usually does, but she—said yes. And now I don’t know what to do.”
Marinette’s eyes widen, his story is so similar to what happened between her and Chat Noir, it’s unreal.
At least, that means she might know how to comfort and reassure him. She has no clue what to do about the mess she got herself into with Chat Noir either.
“Well, even though it was a joke,” She chooses her words carefully. “Did you mean it? Do you want to marry this girl?” She holds her breath.
“I do,” He says, and she deflates. Her chances were slim, anyway. He said he loved this girl. “I really, really do, Marinette. I’m so in love with her I’d marry her on the spot, if I thought she wanted me to.”
Marinette feels a rush of sadness, but she’s far less heartbroken than she would have been a few months ago. She will never admit it out loud, but she knows this change has nothing to do with her feelings for Adrien, and everything to do with her feelings for Chat Noir.
“You should tell her that,” Marinette says softly. “Tell her you meant it. Show her she’s important, who knows,” She sends him a kind smile. “Maybe she meant it when she said yes.”
Marinette is rewarded when Adrien sends her a bright smile in return. “Thank you for the advice, Marinette. I’m so lucky to have you.”
Her heart skips a beat, but that’s it.
She nods and says, “Anytime. I’ll always be here for you, Adrien.”
He turns back around in his seat, less pale than before, and her advice to him gets her thinking that maybe she should follow her own example.
On her way home from school that day, she stops at a convenience store and buys a blue raspberry ring pop.
The next time she and Chat Noir have patrol, she brings it with her.
She’s filled with nerves and excitement when she meets him on the Eiffel Tower.
For once, there’s no imminent danger. It’ll just be the two them alone.
Her heart is soaring.
Except, when she gets there, they aren’t alone.
Rena Rouge, Carapace, Ryuko, Viperion, Pegase, King Monkey and Queen Bee are all there too.
Ladybug screams.
“What fresh hell is this?” Ladybug asks Chat Noir, squeezing the ring pop tightly in her right fist.
“I have no clue, bugaboo,” Chat Noir shrugs helplessly.
Rena steps forward, shooting a look at the other heroes, but mainly Queen Bee. Chloe scoffs and rolls her eyes, “Fine, I’ll let you handle it,” She huffs.
“This,” Rena inhales deeply. “Is an intervention.”
Ladybug crosses her arms, “An intervention for what?”
“Paris was on fire for literally seven days, dude,” Carapace says matter-of-factly. “And in that time neither of you thought ‘Maybe we should get some help?’ from your friendly neighborhood temps?”
“Chat Noir and I were fine,” Ladybug emphasizes. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Chat Noir shoot her a grateful smile.
“You were running all over Paris like chickens with your heads cut off,” Ryuko says helpfully.
“The Eiffel Tower went up in flames twice,” Viperion adds, although at least he has the decency to be nice about it.
“The Pont des Arts collapsed and fell into the Seine,” Pegase gestures wildly. “By my calculations, the two of you were a hot mess.”
“So, you admit you think we’re hot,” Chat Noir grins and flexes.
Pegase blushes, “I deny that accusation.”
“Oh my gosh! Everyone stop beating around the bush!” Chloe stomps her foot. “This old guy kidnapped us all from school and said he was the guardian and that we had to talk some sense into you two.”
Marinette blinks uncomprehendingly, “The guardian…kidnapped you?” Oh, she is going to pay a visit to Master Fu.
“Talk sense into us about what?” Chat Noir asks curiously.
There’s an awkward silence. Monkey King is the one who breaks it.
“ARE YOU KIDDING?” He shouts incredulously, “PARIS WAS LITERALLY BURNING TO THE GROUND, HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE-DAME STYLE, AND YOU GUYS GOT MARRIED IN THE MIDDLE OF AN AKUMA BATTLE! YOU’RE NUTS!”
Carapace interjects quickly, “What he means to say is,” He falters. “…Yeah. I got no way to make that sound better. He said what he said and he meant what he meant. You dudes are messes.”
Ladybug gapes at all of them. The disrespect.
“That’s it,” She declares. “I’m retiring. You like to criticize how I save your asses, do it yourself. Bug out.”
Chat Noir yelps, “My Lady, wait, take me with you!”
Rena stops them both from leaving, “Ladybug, none of us want your job. Literally. None of us,” She amends. “Except maybe Chloe, but she’s crazy and Paris would be annihilated in seconds if she was our only hope.”
Chloe shrieks, “Excuse you, I’m right here.”
“I can see that,” Rena ignores her and keeps talking. “We’re not saying we aren’t thankful for everything you do for us. I mean, if I wasn’t still in school and had a steady job, I would definitely write you checks.”
Marinette smiles despite her irritation. Count on Alya to always be her number one supporter.
“We’re just saying,” Rena gestures to everyone. “That you can call on us if you need help. None of us will say no, you don’t have to run yourselves ragged trying to stop six Akumas or put out a dozen fires.”
There are murmurs of agreement from everyone. Marinette figures this is the point Master Fu wanted them to get across to her. Still, kidnapping a bunch of teenagers and handing out miraculouses like Oprah giving out cars was a bit exaggerated.
Marinette glances at Chat Noir, he’s watching her to see her reaction. There’s a tightness in his expression he’s clearly trying to cover up, but he’s never been good at hiding things from her.
Marinette takes a deep breath. If she’s going to do this, she’s going to do this right. It’s time to lay down the law.
“Alright, listen up, everyone.” Ladybug calls out. “Thanks for all coming together to stage this unnecessary intervention, except you, Chloe. I don’t know why you’re here.” She doesn’t give Chloe time to respond. “Chat Noir and I appreciate your concern and, in the future, we will definitely come and ask for your help should we need it, but let me make one thing very clear.”
She glares fiercely at every single one of them, daring them to object. “You might be my side-hoes, but Chat Noir is my main hoe. Got it?”
If she thought the silence was awkward before, it’s borderline uncomfortable now. Even Kim doesn’t dare break it.
Chat Noir lets out an inhuman scream, “Oh my God! My Lady! That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me!” He latches onto her, picking her up and spinning her around. “What did I do to deserve someone as enchanting as you?”
She smirks fondly at him as he sets her back down, still clutching the ring pop in her hand. Her nerves settle, his eyes are shining brighter than the Eiffel, she takes a steadying breath and gets down on one knee in front of her partner.
“You’re just lucky, I guess,” She meets his gaze. He’s gone completely still. She pulls the ring pop out of its wrapper, holding it up to him. “Now, will you make me the luckiest heroine in Paris and agree to always be by my side, meow and forever?”
Marinette holds her breath, she put it all on the line with that pun. She hopes he appreciates it, because it took her an hour of Google searching to find an appropriate cat-themed marriage pun.
A few seconds pass. It’s dead quiet.
And then Chat Noir starts crying.
Mayday. Mayday. SOS. Tikki, abort, abort.
Ladybug scrambles to her feet, “Chat Noir, I—I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I take it back, please don’t cry—”
“No!” He launches himself into her arms, burying his head in her hair. He squeezes her so tightly all of the air rushes out of her. “You can’t take it back! No take backs! You’re stuck with me now! In life and in death, you’re stuck with me in the afterlife too.”
She feels an overwhelming rush of warmth and affection for her kitty, neither of them has ever said it, but they’ve been ride or die since the day they met.
“I will always want you around, chaton,” Ladybug says, and cupping his face, she pulls him into a searing kiss.
Around them, the other heroes erupt into loud cheering and happy yelling, all except Chloe, but Chloe is so far off her radar right now Marinette doesn’t care.
Chat Noir goes boneless in her arms, one of his hands coming up to gently cup the back of her head, he kisses her just as passionately.
When they come up for air, he says, breathlessly, “I was upset because I wanted to say it first.”
She drags her eyes away from his lips, “What?”
He smirks and pulls a ring pop out of one of his suit pockets, “I had a whole speech prepared, my Lady. Detailing all the ways you mean the world to me.” He adds, sheepishly, “Unfurrtunately, you beat me to it.”
“Would you look at that, chaton,” She jingles his bell, feeling happier than she’s been in a long time. “We must be soulmates.”
“We must be,” He agrees, his voice joyful and giddy. “Promise me we’ll be together furrever.”
“I purromise,” Marinette laughs, kissing him again.
“MY SHIP IS SAILING!” Rena crows, “IT’S HAPPENING. LADYNOIR IS MARRIED, I’M SO HAPPY I COULD CRY.”
Marinette smiles into the kiss, pulling away only for a second, in order to give Chat Noir her hand so that he can place the ring pop on her left ring finger. She slides her ring pop onto his ring finger, and it feels finite and magical in a way that should only exist in fairy tales.
“Some of us are already crying!” Carapace exclaims, wiping away a tear. “I know I’m not an ordained minister, but I declare you both joined in holy catrimony.”
“That’s so cheesy!” Queen Bee chides, but there’s a half-smile on her face.
Suddenly, the Eiffel Tower is too crowded.
“You wanna get out of here, chaton?” Ladybug grins, leading him by the hand to the edge of landing.
“With pleasure, mon amour,” He replies, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go.”
The say goodbye to the rest of their friends, with Rena and Carapace promising that they will collect everyone’s miraculous and return them to the Guardian. Marinette should probably be more concerned about that, but Fu’s the one who revealed himself to a bunch of teenagers, so really, this is his business. Ladybug’s taking the night off.
As she and Chat Noir are swinging away, his arms around her, he leans in close to her ear and whispers, “I’m so happy I worked up the courage to tell you how I feel. I would’ve never been able to do it without the encouragement of one of my best friends. Do you think we could invite her to the wedding?”
“Sure,” Any friend of his is a friend of hers. From what he’s saying, if it wasn’t for his friend’s advice, he might have screamed and run away when she got down on one knee. “How do you know this girl?”
“We go to the same school. She even helped us out with Evillustrator, you probably remember her. Marinette Dupain-Cheng? She’s the absolute sweetest, and she’s an amazing designer. She could probably design your wedding dress.”
Marinette. Marinette. Her, Marinette?
How does he know her? She can’t remember giving anyone advice about marriage proposals in the last twenty-four hours, except—
Oh.
OH.
Marinette.exe has stopped working.
“My Lady, what’s—THE BUILDING, LADYBUG, THE BUILDING!”