Chapter Text
Isak knew he was going to talk to Even three months ago. That's how long it took him to work up the guts to talk to him and show interest. It's an embarrassing amount of time but Isak has never had to do that before. He's had one boyfriend in high school who courted him. Isak was a bit of booksmart, quirky kid and being flirty and social wasn't particularly one of his array of skills. Consuming an entire book in an hour, listing out random astrology facts, sure but socializing to anyone who wasn't his best friend? Not a chance but Isak has practiced this for three months. He had thought about exactly when and how he will go about it and Jonas has confirmed that his plan is good though he's not particularly rooting for the two since Even is known to mess around and break hearts as he pleases but Isak still sees a sweetheart underneath. The few times he shows up to class, he may answer a question or two so Isak knows there's some intelligence in the tall blond and maybe this heartless persona is an act.
.
It's late one Friday evening and Isak knows Even is going to be at the the house party this weekend, as he and his roommate host it every weekend. Parties aren't really his thing but he's sucking it up just to introduce himself.
The house is packed and gross and sweaty and Isak wonders why anyone would subject themselves to this inhumane torture. His rounded glasses are getting fogged by the humidity and all the smoke from the weed being smoked isn't helping. But he soon spots Even despite his foggy glasses. He takes them off to gives them a clean and he waits. His plan had been to wait until Even isn't with his friends so he tries his best to keep watching him without being creepy but the group doesnt seem to be separating.
He groans quietly to himself and pulls out his phone to play a little game to consume some of his time. He's playing candy crush, his eyes mesmerized into the rainbow screen when he hears a deep, "Halla."
Isak's head shoots up and his eyes widen in surprise seeing Even standing in front of him. This wasnt apart of the plan. He awkwardly tucks his phone away and gives a soft smile, "Halla."
"My friends told me some cute twink kept checking me out so I thought I'd come over and say hi." No, no. This is not what Isak spent three months planning. He feels immediate embarrassment.
"I wasn't um--I wasnt checking you out. I uhh---"
"It's okay, it happens often. We can hook up if you want."
Isak's eyes almost shoot out of his head, "Huh?"
"Let's hook up. You're cute. You look kind of familiar now that I think about it."
"We have class together."
"Really?" Even questions. "Surprised I haven't noticed you."
"Yeah well, you're never there." Isak replies.
Even chuckles, "Right! Well, come on" He says taking his hand and leading him through the house, "Um Even. Even." Isak says uneasily but too quietly that the music is drowning out his voice.
When Even closes the door behind them, he places his drink on the desk across the room and turns around to see Isak leaning back against the door uncomfortably.
"Why are you standing all the way over there?" Even ask walking up to him, pressing his body flat against his and looks down at the boy who was several inches shorter than him, which Even always had a thing about.
He runs his hand through his fluffy hair, then down to his jaw and gently runs his thumb over his bottom lip, "You're fucking gorgeous."
Isak immediately turns red and breaks eye contact, looking down at the floor. Even reaches his hand in his pants and pulls out his erection and takes Isak's hand and places it on him and Isak lets out a small squeak. "Touch me." Even says in the most seductive tone that Isak almost considers it.
Isak looks down at the penis in his hand and he has never felt more gay. He's also never been more interested in being sexually intimate with someone right now especially seeing how nice and well sized Even was. He looks back up at him with fear in his eyes, though. Sure, he pictured things with Even but he also pictured maybe a couple dates happening before that. Maybe a kiss or two.
"I um--I'm sorry, I dont want to do that. Not right now, I mean." Isak bravely admits.
Even shrugs, "Thats fine, I can just fuck you." He says taking his hand and pushes him to sit on the bed, "Wait, Even." He says taking a deep breath. "I'm not, I'm not trying to hook up. You dont even know my name."
"Okay, well whats your name?" He ask carelessly.
"Isak."
"Okay, well Isak. Do you want to fuck?"
"Can we go on a date first?" He ask innocently looking up at him, above the rim of his glasses.
Even rolls his lips in, trying to stop himself from laughing, "I can't tell if you're joking or not. I dont date, Isak. If thats what you want, you can leave."
"I would like to take you on a date. I think I can be fun and nice to talk to." Isak says looking down at the floor, and trying to list off his selling points that he practiced for three months, while in the mean time Even is losing his erection and pushing himself back in his pants. "I like trying different foods so we can go anywhere you want and um--" His brain is getting foggy and he's forgetting things and getting a bit overwhelmed. "There's some, I um--"
"Isak!" Even says interrupting him. "I dont date, I'm not looking for that. If you want to fuck, you know where to find me. Feel free to let yourself out. " He says as he grabs his beer and leaves his bedroom.
Isak just sits there confused and lost, what just happened. Even had rejected him. Well not completely. He was willing to do anything sexual but had rejected Isak's ask for a date. And normally Isak would be embarrassed and possibly run out the house but for some reason, he still wants to try. He's very optimistic and doesn't want to give up that easily.
He takes out his phone to text Jonas,
hey. help! i tried with even and he just wants to have sex, what do i do?
what do you mean, dude? if he doesnt want to date, you cant do anything
but I want a date:(
isak!! he's clearly into one night stands, you can sleep with him if you want to but dont expect anything from it. and if you dont want to, either keep trying or give up
i want to keep trying, im in his room, i think but hes out there. what should i say when i go back out?
idk bro, maybe keep convincing him you're worth a shot and not like everyone he just tries to shack up with.
okay, wish me luck
good luck bro!! wake me up when you get home.
Isak takes a moment to collect himself. He can't believe he's even doing this and trying this hard but he quite likes the bit of challenge. And Even had already mentioned he thinks Isak's gorgeous so his looks arent the problem, he just has to get to know him.
He leaves Even's bedroom and enters the ruckus of the college party trying to find him. It doesnt take long because he's easy to spot through a crowd of kids with an average height of 5'7. He walks over to him and his friends and stops behind him, tugging on his hand.
Even turns around with a joint between his lips and then sighs when he sees Isak. He takes the joint out and ask, "What do you want?"
"Can I smoke with you?" He ask and everything he did was so fucking innocent, it was hard for Even to not think about doing things to him.
"Why? I'm sure someone here is selling, you can find a joint from them."
"Please." He says softly, grazing his hand.
And Even doesn't even know why he's contemplating because usually a quick fuck off does the job but for some reason he's finding it increasingly harder to be mean to someone who looks so fucking precious so he rolls his eyes and hands him the joint.
Isak smiles and thanks him, "I'm Isak." He says shyly, introducing himself to his friends. They all nod confused and just look at Even who just shrugs and leans against the wall.
"Are you going to take a hit or are you just going to stand there?" One of Evens friends ask and oh, right. Isak's holding the joint. He brings it up to his lips and inhales and immediately lets out a coughing fit. When he's recovered, he looks back up at Even with watery eyes, "Sorry, smoke went down weird."
"Yeah, thats it." Even replies sarcastically, not believing him for a second. "So are you good to go now? I let you smoke a bit."
"Thats it?" He questions.
"Isak, I dont know what your deal is but Im not trying to be your boyfriend, okay? Im not even trying to be your friend. I have enough friends so can you stop bothering me?"
"Okay. Okay fine, but maybe we can go a date next week?" He proposes. Even chuckles amused and just ignores him and takes another hit and Isak waves bye to the group and leaves the party.
"What the fuck was that?" Mikhael ask.
"What?"
"That dude. Why didnt you fuck him? He's cute, nice little body. And he's small dude, you like them smaller than you. He was exactly your type."
"And he also wants a fucking boyfriend so he's not my type."
"Then why did you let him smoke with us?" Elias ask.
"Because he--he,I dont fucking know. Look at his fucking face, dude. It's hard to say fuck off to him. Fuck, I need to get laid now." He groans, needing to release some anger and tension and abandons his friends to find his conquest for the night.
.
Isak hadn't really made a plan for what he would do when he would next see Even, he just knew he was still interested and if Even gave him a chance and got to know him, the feelings would be reciprocated.
He's with Jonas when he sees Even with his headphones in, smoking as is his routine, and doing some work at a picnic table on campus.
Isak gets Jonas' attention and they walk over to the table. Even looks up upon seeing people join the table and his face drops once he recognizes Isak. He pulls out one of his earbuds, "What do you want, Isak?" He already sounds annoyed.
"I just wanted to say hi."
"Hi." He dismisses and puts his earphone back in. Isak looks to Jonas helplessly and Jonas leans over to pull the earphone out, "Can you not be a dick for a second?"
"If Im such a dick, why are you guys still here?"
"Because for some bizarre reason unknown to man, Isak fucking likes you. And he has waited months to finally work up the courage to talk to you, he doesnt usually do this shit. And everyone knows you fuck around and put your dick in whoever lets you but you cant live your whole life like that. You'll get old and realize you have nothing around you except your friends who have their own lives and experiences from college that revolve around not fucking everything that walks. So if I was you, I would take a chance with a great guy who really fucking likes you and would be a good time. When was the last time someone put this much effort into doing more than sleeping with you? Never I'd expect so I'd say try not to be a dick for once in your life. Okay, buddy?"
Even stares at him with an incredulous look, "Who the fuck are you?"
"His best friend. Jonas. So what will it be?" He ask with raised eyebrows.
"You cant fucking force me to date your friend because he's been wanting to talk to me for months. The fuck does that have to do with me?"
"Even, please." Isak ask softly. "I really want to spend time with you."
Even rubs his hands down his face in frustration to be quite honest because every time Isak opened his mouth and his sweet, innocent voice came out, he just wanted to say yes to his every wish.
"I am not looking for a boyfriend, Isak. Okay?" He tries to let him down gently. "I dont get why you want me so bad, you barely know me."
"Well, I want to." He says with a hopeful tone. "Just one date? Only one for like an hour and if you still don't want to talk to me, then we dont have to." Isak compromises.
Even runs his hand through his hair and just groans to himself, "Fuckssake fine, one date if that gets you off my back."
"Okay." Isak smiles brightly. "Thank you. Maybe Friday, I can meet you at your house?"
Even shrugs disinterested.
"Okay, okay. So um, I'll see you soon." He waves getting up from the bench, slowly walking away and trips and lets out a high pitched squeal and looks back up at Even with blushed cheeks. Even tries to hide his laughter and shakes his head at the quirk that is this boy and just puts his headphones on to keep working on his art project.
.
Isak spent the next two days deciding where to take Even on their date. He didn't want to choose a spot too close to campus where anyone knows Even might see him and it might make him uncomfortable. He chooses something a little further out, that he researched and its a great spot for dates. Cozy, intimiate, dark mood lighting and Isak was quite excited to inpress Even.
He's dressed in a fitted black button down and fitted black slacks that his button down is tucked into.
"Do I look okay?" He ask Jonas.
"Yeah dude, you look good. Im just hoping he's not an ass to you. I wish you'd go after someone better." He says unbuttoning the top button of Isak's shirt so he looks more relaxed.
"'I dont want anyone better. I know he has a reputation but I think he's a good person."
"Whatever dude, I just hope you have fun. Call me if you need me." Isak nods and gathers his last minute things and heads out of the house. He picks a full bouquet of blue flowers that will match Even's mesmerizing eyes.
He walks to Even's place and takes a deep breath, nudges up his glasses with the back of his index finger and rings the bell.
Once the door open, Isak sees an unfamiliar face, "Um hi, who are you here for?"
"Even."
"Even, the door!!!" The dude calls out and then just leaves with the door wide open. Isak stands there confused but chooses to step in the house and close the door behind him and patiently waits.
Even comes trailing down the steps in about a minute's time and Isak looks up at him and he's dressed in his usual, jeans, a hoodie and jacket but Isak's not complaining. He still looks quite good, "Hi." Even says when he gets down the steps.
"Hi." Isak smiles. "These are for you." He says handing him the bouquet. Even raises his brows confused and hesitantly takes them and mutters a, "Thanks." He places them on the table and nudges Isak out the door.
"Where are we going?" He ask as they begin walking.
"We have to take the tram, its a nice place a little out of town, okay?"
"Yeah sure, 's fine." He replies.
It's rather quiet on their five minute commute to the tram. When they arrive at the station, Isak ask, "So did you have a good week?"
Even shrugs, "Quite shit, ton of work. Just going to party this weekend" He says taking a joint out of his pocket. As he goes to light it, Isak swipes it out of his mouth, "Can you not tonight?"
Even stares at him in disbelief that this boy just took his joint, "What?"
"Can you not smoke tonight?" He ask politely. "I want you to be present."
Even chuckles disbelievingly, "So Im out on this date against my will and now you wont let me smoke. You're something else you know that? I dont know what kind of voodoo you have on me but its going to wear off eventually, you know?"
"Voodoo?" Isak questions.
"Yes, you just--you just fucking speak and bat your lashes all of a sudden Im at your beck and call and doing whatever you say. I'm not like this so dont get used to it. I dont know whats going on with me but it wont last."
Isak giggles, "Okay."
Even snatches his joint back and stuffs it in the inner pocket of his jacket as they board the approaching tram.
.
When they're sat in the restaurant, getting rid of their jackets and settling in, Even takes in the space and surroundings, realizing everyone around them is probably coupled up. He more expected a burger joint of sorts, not this lavish restaurant. He's surprised he was even allowed in with the hoodie and jeans he's sporting.
"Have you ever been to a place like this?" Isak ask as he opens his menu.
"No, whats the point? It's clearly for couples."
"It doesn't have to be. A nice dinner can just be for friends too." Isak shares.
"Or for people who have been bribed into going on a date?"
"I didnt bribe you."
"Well, it wasn't really my choice, was it?" Even questions.
"I'm a nice person, okay? And I'm fun. You're going to want to keep hanging out with me once this night is over."
"Whatever you say, Isak." Even scans the menu for a total of three seconds before he realizes he doesn't understand the ingredients of half the items and will just order a burger. Isak settles on ordering bucatini all'amatriciani with a side of focaccia bread.
When the waitress takes their menu, Isak says, "Is that all you want, a burger?"
"All I really recognized on the menu. So this is date, right? So I can ask you questions?"
Isak nods and smiles, sitting up eagerly.
"Why are you into me? Like Jonas said you had been thinking about talking to me for months? Like when did you first see me and why did you want to try so hard?"
Isak takes a brief moment to think about the answer to the hefty question, "I first saw you in class. You came late on the first day. I didnt know who you were really but I thought you were quite fit. So I told Jonas and he told me about you sleeping around and stuff. But the rare days you did come to class, you seemed really smart and I quite liked that. And I saw you sometimes when you were alone in the library drawing or doing something with art, and I like that you're creative. And I dont do this, I dont really push myself out of my comfort zone or anything so I told myself I would do this. I was really interested and just wanted to go for it." He shares.
"'Wow, okay." Even says, processing the information.
"So can I ask you something?" Isak ask. Even allows him.
"That night at the party, you said I was gorgeous. Did you mean that or were you just saying that to hook up with me?"
"No, I mean it. You are." He says without hesitation. "I mean contrary to popular belief, I dont sleep with everyone with a pulse."
"And why do you do that? Hook up a lot?" Isak ask gently, not wanting to come off judgemental.
Even shrugs, "Why not? We're in college and it's fun."
"Well yeah but dont you want sex to mean a little more? You dont care that people talk?"
"No, I dont. I like what I like. Sure, sex might mean more if you're into someone but Im not at the moment. And I know I what I enjoy and its no strings. Am I supposed to wait until I'm in a relationship to have sex with the next person?"
"Well no, but still would be quite nice to build a connection though, first?"
"Like you're trying to do with me?" Even teases. Isak blushes, "I'm interested in more than that so you're wrong." He says sticking his tongue out at him and giggling.
"You know, I've never met anyone like you." Even says.
"What does that mean?" Isak question licking his lips after he drank a sip of the ice cold water.
"I dont know." Even says, his head tilted slightly as if he's analyzing Isak, trying to find the right words, "It's like you're in uni yeah, and everyone's a mess but you're kind of the opposite. You seem very put together, you're very soft spoken and like almost fragile and it's really hard to be mean to you. There's such a innocence about you and you like make it really hard for people to not want to be around you."
"You want to keep being around me?" Isak blushes softly.
"Not by choice but I dont know, you're interesting." He settles with.
"Told you." Isak smirks with a smug shrug of his shoulder as their food is being placed down in front of them. They eat and continue to chat and get to know each other and ask questions and learn about each other's past and their plans for the future.
"Is the burger good?" Isak ask.
Even moans, "Best fucking burger I ever had."
"Try the foccacia." Isak says breaking off a piece and holding it up to Even's mouth. Even grimaces and shakes his head. "Its just bread." Isak informs
Even hesitantly takes the bite Isak is feeding him and chews the fluffy bread, "Yeah, yeah its good. How did you even find this place?"
"Well its quite romantic and had good reviews and I wanted somewhere a little further in case it made you uncomfortable if anyone you knew came in."
"Why would I be uncomfortable? Everyone knows I'm an equal opportunity lover."
Isak chuckles, "I just mean, being on a date. I didnt know if you wanted people to see."
"Oh, well thats kind of you."
Isak nods, "I'm a kind person." He smiles.
"I cant believe after you wining and dining me, I'm not even gonna get laid." Even jokes. Isak kicks his shin under the table and Even laughs, "Relax, I'm joking. I mean, it would be quite nice but--"He holds his hands up innocently. "I respect what you want."
"Did you have a good time tonight?" Isak ask hesitantly.
"Yeah, yeah it was fun."
Isak smiles feeling accomplished, "So would you want to do it again? Like another date?"
"I dont think so"
"But we had a good time." Isak says confused.
"Yeah and we can be friends. But I still don't want a boyfriend, Im sorry."
Isak tries not to be disappointed and nods. All he asked for was one date and he got that so he can't complain but he was really hoping tonight would of been what he was hoping.
"I'm sorry, Isak." He says again.
"Its fine." He says finally look up at him. "I asked for one date and you gave it to me. I guess I'll leave you alone after this" He says as he gestures to the waitress for the check.
"Well we can still hang out, like as friends." He tries to compromise. "I hope Im not seeming like a complete asshole right now."
"It's fine." He repeats again not wanting to dwell on it and pulls out his wallet when the check comes. He fishes through his bills and Even does the same, "I got it." Isak says putting cash on the table, enough to cover the bill and a bit extra.
They throw on their jackets to head outside, "So I'll see you around?" Isak ask once they exit
"Please dont make this weird." Even pleads. "We need to take the same tram back, we can go together. Dont be mad at me."
"I'm not, you're allowed to be into who you want. Im just disappointed, can you let me sulk in peace?"
"It's not that Im not into you, you already know I think you're cute and youre sweet and funny but its just not what I want right now, okay? It has nothing to do with you."
"Okay." Isak says, that statement making him feel a bit more at ease, knowing he's not too blame
"So friends?" Even ask.
"Okay." Isak agrees and they head back to campus together making completely platonic conversation.
.
Letting go of his crush on Even wasnt the easiest task, per say. It was rather awkward in the beginning and Isak tried to remind himself during nice moments of laughter and banter, that was it nothing else more than that but he enjoyed being around Even and the feeling was mutual, so they kept hanging out.
They spent a lot of time eating out, Isak dragging Even to some of his favorite weekend activities like bowling, artist night at the museum, laser tag. And Isak had joined Even a bit at parties, which he grew to enjoy. They had gotten close very quickly and things fell so natural with them, as Isak would of expected
He'd have moments when he wonders why Even didn't want anything more. They have so much fun together and dating would just mean they get to do all this fun stuff plus some kissing among other enjoyable things but he tried not to harbour on that thought too long because he 100% accepted what they agreed on: a friendship
But despite that agreement and being okay with that, Even is currently confused as to why he feels some kind of heat rising in his chest from staring at Isak flirting with some guy at the party.
"Having fun?" Someone questions as they punch his back, causing a bit of beer to spill out of the can.
Even turns back looking at Elias, "The fuck was that for?"
"Why the hell are you staring at them like that?"
"Like what? Im not staring like anything." Even shrugs
"Like you want to kill them. You guys are friends now, arent you?"
"Yeah. Yeah we are so why the hell am I feeling jealous watching him flirt with someone else?"
"Well you might not want to look at them now." Elias says and Even turns their way and it almost feels as if his blood is boiling. Isak and the dude are pressed close together dancing with the dude's hands touching Isaks lower back.
Even turns back to Elias with a frustrated groan, "What is happening to me?"
"Its called liking someone." Elias laughs, watching Even deal with his conflict as if he's the Grinch dealing with feeling emotion for the first very time.
"Dude, I dont like people. I dont--fuck, this isnt happening, dude. Why is this happening?"
"Turns out the little twink did make you fall for him." He says patting his back before disappearing into the sea of dancing bodies.
Even just disppears into his room for the night, no longer in the mood for partying and shoots Isak a text, unable to stop his jealously.
having fun?
he doesnt know why he expects a text back when he knows Isak is in his living room with another dude so he just throws his phone aside and falls back onto his bed, wondering how he let this happen. How he managed to develop the unknown territory, feelings.
.
the next morning when he wakes up, he sees a text from isak and last night's events come rushing back.
did you text me this during the party? weirdo, why didnt you just come up to me
you were busy
was i?
oh, with that guy?
well, you could of still asked. want to do lunch today? if you're not busy trying to get rid of someone in your bed right now.
wasnt with anyone last night and yeah lunch is fine
okay, 12?
yeah
.
Even's brain is all out of wack the whole morning at last night's realization. He hates that he felt jealous last night, its such an unfamiliar feeling for him. Some level of caring is required for jealousy, a bit of entitlement and Even is grappling with feeling that and maybe lunch with Isak is what he needs, to remind him that he was having a momentary lapse of judgement and they're just buddies.
He meets Isak at the campus pizza shop. Isak's back is turned to him but he walks up to him and squeezes his shoulder. Isak turns around and smiles seeing Even, "Hey." He says standing up to give him a hug. "I already got us two slices." Even thanks him and joins him in the booth.
"Where were you last night? You disappeared, I was looking for you."
"Were you? You weren't too busy?" He ask suggestively
"Well after that, I was looking for you."
Even shrugs and takes a bite of his pizza, "Didnt feel like partying anymore so just went to my room."
"Was everything alright?" Isak inquires.
"Yeah, yeah. Just wasn't feeling well." He lies. "So what are you up to for the rest of the day?"
"I have to do some work in a bit and then I have a date." He shares bashfully.
"A date?" Even's brow raise. "With who?"
"The guy I met last night. He wants to take me out." Isak shares.
"Oh." Even says focusing on eating his pizza. "Do you like him?"
"I dont know, he's really sweet. We'll see what happens. So why didnt you take anyone home last night? Thats a rarity for you."
"Yeah I know, I just wasnt feeling it. I can go one party without pulling someone, you know?"
"Im sure, you can. I just haven't seen it happen in the month and a half that I've known you."
"Was thinking a lot last night, I guess."
"Whats wrong?" Isak ask confused in the kindest tone, reaching his hand across the table to hold his. "You seem like really out of it or something. Is everything okay?"
Even shoots him a weak smile, "Dont worry about me, I probably just need more sleep."
"Okay." Isak says picking up his hand to kiss the back of the palm because random kisses and being a fucking sweetheart is just what Isak does, Even thinks. "Well, get some rest." Isak says as he stands up and gives him one more hug, "I need to run back and get some stuff done. I'll talk to you later."
He throws his empty plate in the trash and heads out the pizza shop and Even's head just drops to the table in pure frustration, that would serve as a comedic moment in any other context.
.
Even's feelings only deepen and it just gets progressively more frustrating because he was an idiot and rejected Isak when he was keen on him and now he's moved on and he's really just a gigantic asshole. It's about another two weeks before Even sucks it up and decides he's going to talk to Jonas, hoping the dude can be straight up as he usually is and give him some insight.
He knocks on their door and hears ruffling on the other side and soon Jonas opens the door, "Isak isnt here." He says and goes to hop back on his bed.
"Yeah, I know. Wanted to chat with you." Even says closing the door behind himself. "That alright?"
"What about?"
Even walks further into the door room and sits on Isak's bed, that is directly across from Jonas'.
"It's about Isak." He starts.
"Whats wrong?" Jonas worries, brows furrowed.
"Well, nothing bad." He says quickly. "Well, I guess it depends on what side you see it from." He mutters. "I um--Im going to say something really really stupid and you're gonna think I'm a dick."
"I already think you're a dick so not much will change. Out with it."
"I think I like Isak." He admits.
Jonas rolls his eyes with a smile because it's almost comical, "Tough shit, dude you had your chance."
"Jonas, seriously. I dont know what to do. I dont even fucking know whats going on with me, I cant remember the last time I was into someone and then he just, I dont know, fucking swoops in with his little glasses, and clothes that are too big for him and adorable fucking hand kisses, being all fucking generous and shit like I cant take it."
Jonas laughs, "Well, he's a sweet person. I told you that."
"Yeah well, I fucked up so can you help me?"
"What the hell you want me to do?"
"I dont know." Even groans. "Do I tell him? Am I completely messing this up if I do? Am I being selfish? Did I already miss my chance? Dude, Im fucking going crazy." Jonas can tell Even has never had a crush because he completely cant handle it but he tries to choke back his laughter at the humor of it all because Even does seem quite distraught.
"I dont know if you should tell him. I cant say he's just going to drop everything and say you guys should be together because you told him you wanted to be friends so he set aside his feelings and attraction for that and now you're telling him the opposite, its confusing. It'd be one thing if he was sitting around waiting for you but he's not."
"What happened with that guy he met at my party?"
"Nothing, they went on that date but that was it. Didnt really connect or anything."
Even nods in comprehension, "So I shouldn't tell him?"
Jonas shrugs, "I wouldnt if you value your friendship. I dont know how he would feel if you told him."
"So I just have to get over him?"
"Yeah, just like he got over you." Even sighs and his head falls back against the wall behind him.
.
At the next party Even's roommates host, Isak is having a great time. He's been coming out to parties more and more which he's quite fond of as long as the music is nice and he can dance around. He's dancing with a new friend he met as they jump around to the electronic music vibrating against the walls.
He's letting loose, being completely free and having a great time.
He suddenly feels an arm wrap around his waist and turns around startled and settles realizing its Even, "Oh its you, hey." He smiles. "You look so tall today." He says leaning down to look at his shoes and realizing he's wearing platform docs.
"Yeah, well you look so short today." Isak rolls his eyes and turns back and pouts and turns to Even, "You made my new friend disappear."
"Sorry. You look quite cute today."
"Thanks." He smiles staring down at his outfit, which is simply a sheer black shirt and black jeans but he appreciates the compliment anyway.
"Want to chill in my room?" Even ask. Isak shrugs and nods and follows Even to his bedroom.
"This doesnt bring back the best memories." He jokes as he sits on his bed.
Even chuckles and sits down beside him, "Yeah, Im sorry about that still. I made a really stupid mistake that day." He admits.
Isak gives a confused look but Even is too busy staring down at his carpeted floor, "What does that mean?"
"How long did it take you to get over me?" He ask.
"Even, why are you even asking that right now? I thought--"And just like that, Even is kissing him. He's frozen momentarily in shock, in awe, really and just pulls back. He stares up at Even, completely lost and ask, "Are you drunk or something?"
"Im sorry, fuck Im sorry." Even apologizes as he gets up to leave his room but Isak catches grip of his wrist before he leaves, "What is going on, Even? Why did you do that? Are you drunk or high or.."
"That was really fucking stupid." Even groans unable to look at Isak and clearly unable to answer any of his questions. He had one shot moments ago and that nearly little shot is all it took for Even to mess this up.
Even just stands across the room, leaning his body against his dresser, thinking and Isak stays quiet and gives him the time to think. Even glances up his way and he's out with it, "I think I like you."
Isak's eyes widen at hearing the confession and he stares at Even in disbelief.
"I feel like a complete dick, Isak. Like fuck, I was such an ass to you in the beginning and then I was too fucking scared after that date to try to have anything more and then, I dont know. Spending more time with you, its just--its fucking impossible not to fall for you. I'm so sorry this is so out of left field and terrible timing but I know I've been weird lately, Ive just been dealing with this and its making me crazy. I dont even know why I told you, I'm sorry." He rants, catching his breath. "This is all so fucking new to me, I just dont know what to do."
Even just stares at down at Isak sitting on the bed, unable to read his face as he processes everything Even just confessed to him. The first thing Isak says after moments of silence is, "Is that why you haven't hooked up with anyone in a while?"
Even shrugs and reluctantly nods.
"I um--I'm sorry I'm not saying much. It's just a lot."
"I know, I'm sorry. You dont have to say anything."
"I erm--Even, why didnt you say anything in the beginning?"
"I dont know." Even groans. "I dont know. The first date was nice but being your friend and hanging out with you more is when I started feeling more and then I felt we were too deep into a friendship to say anything. And then I saw you with that guy at one of the parties and it just hit me. "
Long moments of silence.
"I really dont know what to say, Even." He admits.
"Are you still into me?" He ask hesitantly clenching his jaw, quite afraid of the answer.
Isak just stares up at him in disbelief, "I told myself not to be. I completely abandoned any potential feelings for you because thats what you wanted. You wanted nothing to do with me like that and I accepted that and told myself it wasn't going to happen but I wanted to be friends with you so thats all I started seeing you as, a friend. And now you're telling me--Even, this is just such bad timing." He says starting to feel a bit emotional and frustrated, feeling tears surface in his tear ducts. "I think I should go." He says standing up off the bed.
Even walks over to him and gently takes his hand, similarly how Isak always does to him, "Did I completely fuck this friendship up?"
"I dont know." He admits honestly looking down at the floor. "I dont know, I just need a bit of time to think, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah of course. I get it." He brings his hand up to his lips and kisses the back of his hand softly, "Let me know when you get home?"
Isak nods and scurries out of the bedroom and through the party to find Jonas, grabs onto him and runs out of the house, "Dude, what the hell?" Jonas questions.
"Even just told me he liked me." He says disbelievingly, pacing the empty streets.
"What did you say?"
"That its bad timing. Why didnt he like me like two months ago?"
Jonas shrugs, "I tried to tell him."
Isak's head whips up so fast, "Did you know?"
"Yeah, he told me a couple weeks ago. He was freaking out, it was quite funny. But I told him he waited too fucking long and he cant just expect you to backtrack and be into him, you know? Like he cant just snap his fingers and have that happen. You might not want that."
"I just cant believe that even happened, he tried to kiss me and I--I dont know, Jonas. Its weird. Like now? Why?" He groans. "I would of been so happy to hear that two months ago."
"What are you gonna do?"
"I don't know, need time to think about it. Can we head home?"
"Yeah sure, lets go. We'll order some thai."
.
Even is fucking going mad over here. He hasn't seen or heard from Isak in three days and doesn't know if he made a huge fucking mistake admitting his feelings. Maybe he should of just listened to Jonas and buried his feelings until they were eventually nonexistent. Because he's not sure telling him was worth completely losing him. He wants to give him space but also wants to make sure they're still even friends.
hey, miss you. has everything been okay? giving you time but want to make sure you dont completely hate me
would never hate you
okay, just checking. still thinking about everything? you can tell me youre not interested if thats why you havent said anything. ive done it to many people, i should be able to handle it
you talk too much. we can meet tomorrow, okay?
okay
.
Isaks heart drops when he hears a knock on the door and Evens heart is doing the same on the other side of the door.
He twists the nob, opening the door, "Hi"
"Hi" Even smiles and walks in, standing in the middle of the room, unsure where to stand.
Isak climbs on his bed, sitting on the edge, his knees up to his chest, "You can sit" Isak permits patting his bed and Even joins him on the bed. Moments of silence passes by before Isak decides to speak.
"So I thought about everything and I think I'm still a bit shocked and confused. I guess I'm wondering what you expected? Like what if I said, I liked you. What would you want to do?"
"Well" Even says lightly swinging his hanging feet, childishly. A behavior thats rarely ever associated with him. "I had imagined that maybe we'd be together?"
"Like boyfriends?" Isak furthers inquires.
Even looks up at him and gives a short nod.
"Is that --is that something you'd want?" Even stutters.
"What changed? Isak ask instead. "Like from. the date until now?"
Even awkwardly scratches his head, not wanting to come off cheesy but just says the simple truth, "I got to know you."
"I know it doesn't help, me just saying that." He adds on. "But I love spending time with you and you're just gentle and sweet and cute and--do you even hear me right now? I don't speak like this, I don't know what you've done to me."
Isak giggles and Even watches him with a smile, just another thing to add on the things he can't get enough of when it comes to Isak.
"But seriously, I just like being around you and I realized when I saw you might be into someone else, it hurt, you know? Like I wanted to be the one holding you like that and making you smile the way he did. And I stopped being an idiot for a few seconds to admit to myself that for the first time in a long time, I was falling for someone"
When Isak doesn't immediately reply, Even gently picks up his hand and it's something Isak often does to comfort Even and it makes Isak smile to see that Even picked that habit up.
Isak interlocks Evens hand that's holding his and with that grip, he pulls Even into his lips. The older boy looks down at Isak startled as if he isn't sure if this is what Isak meant to do but Isak tugs him in some more and just like that, their lips press together. It's a nice and soft kiss and Even pulls back and he's fucking blushing.
"What's gotten into you?" Isak teases poking his pink cheek.
"Shut up" He says embarassed hiding his face into his hands, waiting for his cheeks to settle.
And in that time, Isak sits up on the bed on his knees, and cheekily whispers, "You have a boyfriend now."
"Fuck you, my cheeks were almost good" Even reprimands with his face still hidden, feeling his cheeks warm up again.
Even finally sits up and slams his lips to Isaks, knocking him down on his back on the bed and silencing Isaks laugh. Isak giggles slowly dissipate in the kiss as the younger blond locks his fingers in Evens hair. After a bit of making out, Even pulls back from the kiss, looking down at his now boyfriend, "Hi"
"Hi"
"Is this weird?"
Isak shakes his head, "You're not used to kissing someone you care about. Don't worry. You'll get used to it." Isak takes Even's hand, interlocking their fingers again and their eyes stay locked as Isak kisses the back of his hand softly and Even does the same. As if this small action is a commitment to one another. To give them a shot.