Work Text:
"I would never raise something this WEAK"
"Dad stop, please, this isn't you"
"This is me, it's more me than I've ever been" Avocato closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, a malevolent rumble released as his eyes opened.
The light was gone, black eyes met little Cato's.
"I'm unstoppable, I'm the god I always wanted to be" he took another breath, exhaling it sounded akin to a dragon, rage took over his face as he glared at his only son.
"I regret just one thing" he uttered "I wish I'd shot you that day"
"You held me back"
"Dad no"
"I regret ever having you"
"Stop"
"I WANT to kill you"
The gun powered up, a sound Cato was very familiar with.
"Please, stop, stop, STOP" it fired, his father ignored him with a crooked grin stretched across his face.
It was pain and nothingness, intertwined.
-
"Gary!" Little Cato screamed, fighting off his blankets and rolling off of the bed, arms braced for an impact that never hit. Fox shifted over on his bunk, tired eyes meeting his.
They gleamed with sadness; with pity "Kid" the Tryvuulian started and Cato's ears dipped downward, his body shrinking away.
"No" he sprinted away, discomfort rolling over him in waves.
He was standing in front of familiar doors before his sleep and adrenaline addled mind could catch up, his paw hitting the switch and they swung open, revealing a dark room behind.
A mop of blond hair was peeking out from a mountain of twisted blankets and sheets. Soft snores emitted from below and little Cato crept closer, his ears drooping as he second-guessed himself.
Maybe he wasn't supposed to be there.
Maybe Gary didn't want him there, maybe he pitied him as Fox did.
There was no place for him here.
"Oh" he wilted and his eyes stung.
"Mm, spidercat" Gary turned over and bleary eyes landed on him, he was nervous "HI, sorry, I was just, I don't, I'm uh"
He took a step back and his stomach flipped, heart in his throat he froze when Gary's arm lifted open the blankets, revealing space beneath.
"Nightmares... Suck" Gary mumbled " but you don't have to sort it out on your own, you've got people in your corner"
His ears perked unbidden by him "you've got me"
Silently he padded over, hesitantly slipping into the bed.
The heat was... Comforting.
Gary shifted and his arm laid easily onto Cato's shoulder as he pulled him snug to his side. The silence was nice, little Cato's sensitive ears were treated with the lubdub of Gary's heart, consistent in beat and tempo.
Curling in his eyes pricked with tears. Gary was solid, real, kind and warm-hearted.
All the things his father lacked.
Avocato trained him from birth to kill, to have no weakness, to hold nor give warmth.
To be cold, like him.
His mind repeated his nightmare, vivid purple eyes shifting between Avacato's dim black ones. It was a thought that terrified him, a feeling in his chest that had grown bigger every year of his life, every time he watched his father leave on yet another mission and the hollow feeling each time he returned quiet and angry.
"Spidercat, what's wrong?" Gary asked softly, fingers carding through his hair in such a gentle way.
His grip tightened onto Gary's sleep shirt, it was soft so he buried in his face as well.
He hiccupped a sob, his face burning with embarrassment and shame "Gary"
"I'm... A bad person" he whispered as Gary paused his petting.
Little Cato looked up with wet eyes "Why would you think that?" Gary prompted.
"I was so relieved...when you said you would adopt me"
"That's not bad"
"No" he sobbed, upset he wasn't making Gary understand what he meant "I wanted you to replace him, I wanted him to disappear, I wanted the pain of him never being there to go away"
"Every year he left and came back, he was more distant, more tired and angry. His position was always with the lord commander, even when he came home" little Cato shook and he sucked in a desperate breath "I wished... I wished he could leave, to never come back, him and all his awfulness".
"Before that day, he demanded respect and obedience, he would punish me when I failed"
"I've spent days locked out of our home, he'd punish me through any means until I learned and it only ever got worse even when I got better"
"Oh," Gary said, concern etched in his brows and the slight downturn of his face "you wanna know something?"
"What?"
"Just because you love someone, with everything you've got, with every last molecule of your being? They aren't going to change, they're still the same as they were before, love doesn't change people who want to stay the same"
"It hurts"
"And it may never stop" Gary added sadly "but you can move on, away from that so it isn't as big as it is now"
"If there's anything that I've learned from final space, from this mess we've been tangled in, it's that you can choose the people in your life and that your family you came from isn't always the family you end up with. We were lucky to have been born if only to meet each other. It's a big world with even bigger potential futures, our past doesn't have to control where we move on to"
"Your father loved you, but that didn't make him a good person. Love can be a beautiful thing, or it can be cruel and unrelenting. He taught you to survive the only way he knew how, and it wasn't right but he gave his life so you could live."
"And if that's the only good thing he did for you, then I'll be grateful because you're here now, with me and our weird mashed up family aboard the Crimson light."
Gary held him securely and little Cato's face screwed up as his heart twisted.
"Did you know when I was 16, I burnt down my family home?"
"What!" little Cato hiccupped, awe and surprise written into his face.
"It seemed like the only answer at the time, to erase everything; the good and the bad that had happened there. It reminded me too much of my father's love, which hurt now that he was gone. And then it reminded me of how much my mom hated me, and thought I was the mistake that ruined her life". His face looked pinched before it smoothed over and a faraway gaze settled.
"While I sometimes regret it, I'm mostly relieved. My home is here now, and while my parents are gone, I've got everyone here, including you. I meant what I said that day"
A firm, reassuring grip settled onto little Cato's shoulder and he looked into Gary's eyes, a determination was displayed so proudly he was so envious at the openness.
"I'll be your rental dad if you still want me to" Gary's blues shimmered with silent emotion, warmth illuminated his face and fondness hidden in the creases of his eyes.
"Just be my Dad" little Cato said.
"Okay," Gary smiled softly, pulling over the blankets around them, gathering them into a cocoon of warmth "Get some sleep spider cat, we've got a lot of adventures ahead."
"How many" Little Cato replied knowingly.
"Bunches and bunches son" Gary closed his eyes and held him close.
Little Cato curled into the embrace, his mind going carefully blank as he counted the beats of Gary's heart. Of his Dad's heart.