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The Black Dog

Summary:

Lapis feels trapped and Peridot saves her.

Notes:

Bit of a mental health fic, more of a cathartic piece for myself. It's pretty short, but I think it does it justice.

I really relate to Lapis, so as much as I love shipping her and PDot, I'm more interested in her struggles with her mental health. I'll probably write more stuff about MH but here's my first.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Lapis stood in the alley, staring down the large black dog. The black doberman stood at the entryway to the alley, it’s stance low, a snarl on it’s tongue and it’s jowls pulled back over it’s teeth. She had run so far, praying for wings that simply refused to lift her out of this mess. She was frightened, she had dealt with this before but it had been a while. She had become breathy, believing it was simply from the run and the shock, she tried to count to four, calm her breath and calm herself, but she couldn’t focus on it. She staggered backwards, fear creeping up inside her, walking further down the alley until she felt a cold brick wall against her back. She hadn’t watched where she was running and had ended up at a dead end. A dumpster sat to her right along with a ladder to a fire escape, but she could reach neither. Her legs had frozen in spot as she slid down the wall, the brick scraping gently at her back, but enough to create some subtle marks. Ending up on her knees, her arms folded across her chest, Lapis dug her fingers into her upper arm, pinching painfully, wincing as her hands tightened their grip. Her head leaned forward over her knees as tears stung in the corners of her eyes. Her breaths had become shorter and shorter as her chest had tightened. She couldn’t run, couldn’t escape, couldn’t move. Her vision had begun to tunnel, blackness creeping in taking over all light. She tried even harder to focus on her breath before images filled her mind. Someone grabbing her, throwing her to the floor, trapping her. Hurting her. She felt every emotion from the memories, the pain, the fear, the helplessness and the anger. She could barely see anything other than darkness. Her fingers dug into her arms, leaving crescent dents in their wake as she felt trapped by the anger towards her attacker and herself. She blamed herself. Her mind was fuzzy but she was sure she heard someone approach. A bright light burst through the scene as a short nasally voice made the person's presence known. “Lapis?” it spoke, “Lapis, are you ok?” she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder. “Lapis!” it shouted, louder this time, trying hard to gain her attention. Feeling determined Lapis raised her head and stared into the bright green eyes looking at her with something akin to sympathy. Lapis looked up at these wondrous eyes, still feeling trapped in the alley, but the big black dog had become smaller and less intimidating with her friend next to her. Lapis jumped up and grabbed Peridot into a hug, sobbing noisily and messily into the blonds spiked up hair. “Lapis, I’m here for you” she whispered into her ear, unsure as to if the words were heard through the sobs. Lapis couldn’t let go but as the crying subsided she peered over Peridots soaked shoulder, seeing a small black westie, where the doberman once stood. Peridot helped her to the little green VW Beetle she owned, got her settled and strapped in, driving her home, leaving the black dog to catch up.

Notes:

The black dog is something that has been used to reference mental illness for many years, the most famous reference being Churchill.

Sometimes, just having a person you love hold you and be there to care for you keeps it all at bay, even if it's just for the drive home.

Always be gentle with yourselves and others and if you're feeling lost, stuck, trapped or anything else, please, don't be afraid to message. I'm always here to talk to those in need.