Archive of Our Own

When Clint had demanded a vacation, Tony had been prepared to fork out at least a trunk full of dollars (and by trunk, he meant Quinjet) to get the team that much wanted break. The number of times Logan, Jan and Peter had subtly tried to talk him into taking time off had not gone unnoticed.

That being said, this simple holiday just a few miles away at Orchard beach really hadn’t been what he’d expected. He’d been expecting to break the bank and sink his hands right into the depths of his funds (like pretty much everything these days). And yet...

“C’mon Tony, just a small break, you’ve been at it for weeks. You need a vacation, I need a vacation, hell even Steve needs one! You know how he gets with training when he's grouchy."

Tony had rolled his eyes fondly and pushed his laptop away for a moment.

“Alright, where do you wanna go birdbrain? This is the fifth time someone has commented on my ridiculous work hours so I’m guessing something’s up." He frowned. "And Steve isn't grouchy. He just gets fed up of hauling concrete all day. Especially when Doom's being an asshole."

With a huff, Clint leaned closer and stared at him. "You're just saying that because he's never like that with you. You're special."

"R-right. Anyway, did you have any ideas or are you leaving this to me?" He coughed, trying desperately not to let the heat on his cheeks show. Jesus.

Clint’s eyes gleamed and he snuck a hand around him to close the laptop lid completely.

“I have just the place.”

It was a quiet beach resort as Tony had hired it out for a few days. The water was clear as crystal and the sun was high in the sky, casting solid rays over the sand. Tony, of course had decided he was best suited for staying under some of the carefully placed parasols with sun beds resting beneath, along the shores while the rest of the team were busy running towards the water. Which was fine because Tony was more than content to guard the cooler box in the safety of this haven.

As soon as Clint had convinced him at the mansion, the whole team had appeared, instantly on board with the idea. Hell, he was pretty sure Jan had already packed his suitcase before he’d even finished saying yes. She’d certainly been eager to show everyone her newest collection of Van-Dyne swimwear. The Avengers could be her models, she'd said.

So the available team, consisting of himself, Jan, Tigra, Clint, Peter, Luke and Logan had made arrangements. If Tony was being honest, it was the last two on that list that confused him more than anything. Especially now that he was seeing Logan’s bright yellow swimming trunks somewhere in the distance. The man was sipping his beer like always but the image of Wolverine in swim-shorts was still strange.

“Hey Tony, you doing okay?”

And of course, the most important of them all. Captain Steve Rogers reporting for duty. He’d been pleased with the idea too.

Tony’s face broke into smile and he pushed his shades up. “Steve, hey. I was just about to grab a lemonade and try and avoid being flashed by a Clint if you wanted to join me?” He said, leaning over to make sure Steve could see the crate of bottles he had beside him. He also made sure to gesture to the sun-bed just inches from him, under the same parasol. Maybe if he was lucky Steve would take a seat next to him and they could pretend it was just them and no invasions for once. No outside distractions while they-

Ha. Keep dreaming Stark.

“Well.” Steve smirked a little and reached behind his head to rub his neck. The firm lines of the smooth skin on his neck drew Tony’s eyes to nothing else. “That sounds good but maybe later. I was thinking, maybe we could go for a swim.”

It wasn’t a bad idea so Tony didn’t disregard it outright. But there was an obvious flaw.

“Oh yeah, of course. I’m so ready to get sand and seaweed down my shirt.” Tony waved a hand over his attire. He wasn’t exactly dressed for the occasion but in his defense, it hadn’t been his fault. He’d had an emergency meeting and rather than making sure to grab his suitcase, he came straight here to meet the team and have Happy bring his case tomorrow since he’d promised to give Happy the time off too. Jarvis was also getting a break because frankly, Tony owed the man his life. 

So yes. He was still in a suit and tie. At least he’d dumped his suit jacket.

Steve on the other hand looked glorious. He was wearing nothing but a simple set of blue swim trunks, only this particular shade of blue matched his eyes perfectly, and under the sun, the blonde of his hair seemed brighter and the stress lines on his face had disappeared and his jaw was-

“-don’t see how you managed to leave your swimwear back at the mansion. You knew you were coming to us straight.”

With a sigh Tony put his shades back on and settled back in the chair. There really wasn’t a point dwelling on that. “I had meetings. I was busy. End of story.”

Steve seemed to regard him for a minute before leaning over him slightly, blocking out the sun. And laying back on this sun-bed like he was, Tony struggled to hide the sudden tension in his body from having the worlds most incredible man eclipse over him like this. It dragged too many vivid images from the hidden parts of his mind.

“Tony. You’re in a business suit. You’re still wearing your socks and shoes.”

“Well obviously. I don’t want to burn now, do I?”

“And-is that your tie?”

“Hey, at least I took off my-“

Tony sucked in a breath and froze. Steve was reaching down and pulling Tony's feet into his lap. With soft hands, he loosened the laces and slid Tony's shoes and socks off in one sweep. Tony couldn't draw his eyes away from the sight of Steve's pale hands on his ankles. Heat rushed to his face.

The soldier however, didn't even notice. Steve’s hands reached around him and gently cupped the back of his neck. Ever so carefully, he brushed his hands against the nape of Tony’s neck until he found the tie tucked under his navy shirt. Then he began to loosen it.

“I don’t like seeing you this wound up and suited. I want you relaxed for me Shellhead.” Steve said with an easy, perfectly innocent smile.

Against his will, Tony’s cheeks began to warm. Then his eyes fell to half-mast and he let his lips curve up. He knew it was a sultry look and one that would drive Steve away but he couldn’t handle these kind of things.

Whenever Steve touched him like this it was totally platonic. And whenever Tony felt his touch, a part of him ached for more.

He didn’t want to torture himself with any hope like that. Steve was a good man who cared about his friends and that was all. He deserved better.

If only I could be better. Maybe one day, I’ll almost be worthy of being a partner to him. Maybe one day I'll be worth...more.

Even Tony knew that was a pipe dream though. He was a futurist, not an optimist.

“You just wanna get me stripped don’t you? Admit it, that’s your game here isn’t it?” Tony snarked, ignoring the sharp twinge in his stomach. A pain visceral enough that he hoped Steve wouldn’t see it. That he was that close to Tony’s heart.

Steve hummed lightly and slipped the tie away from Tony’s neck, not moving his hands away from a minute. They simply rested on Tony’s shoulders for a moment and he seemed to just look at Tony.

“When was the last time you slept Tony?”

“Hmm?”

Steve frowned at him and suddenly Tony’s shades were lifted away, rims brushing against his warm skin.

The frown lines deepened and Steve’s grip tightened on Tony’s shades now resting in his fist. “Your eyes are red. And you look...”

“Awful?”

“Drained.” Steve finished tersely, and Tony wondered if that was a real look of despair he’d seen in the man’s eyes. Steve looked so upset for a second that-

Stop the pretenses. He’s your friend. You have no right to ask for more.

Tony needed to get some space. He didn’t want to take all of Steve’s time and really, these three days he’d booked off had been for the team, not himself. He wanted them rested and happy and really whatever they wanted, they’d get. The team meant everything to him. 

“Tony? You okay?”

This wasn't about him.

“Yeah.” He hummed and closed his eyes, relaxing his body enough to feel the tension loosen its grip around his body. “I'm just gonna...relax.”

Steve was silent for a moment. Then;

“Okay. Leave the swim for now.” Tony opened his eyes when he felt the shades slide over his nose again. Steve was stood tall again, looking more god-like than Thor, though his expression was pinched, like something wasn’t quite right.

“I’ll come back in a bit but why don’t you get some rest. You can head inside and sleep for a while, I know you’ve been travelling a lot these past two weeks and that call the other day had been pretty brutal.” His head tilted down, looking away from Tony but his fists clenched. "Weren't you thrown into a building?"

Oh yeah. Of course. "I was fine. Not even a scratch." He said smoothly with a grin he knew was reserved for the press.

Steve seemed to smile a little at that and his fists loosened. "You know I can tell when you're lying right?"

Tony had to smile at that. It was really nice that Steve noticed these things even if they weren’t too important. 

"Fine, you got me." Tony's smile broadened. "But I am okay."

Finally Steve sighed and looked at him again. "Good. But promise me you'll get some rest. You're starting to look pale."

“Sure. This is a break after all.”

Steve seemed pleased enough and nodded at that, running his eyes over Tony’s form, right from the top of his shirt collar to the edges of his dark pants.

“I’ll try and hunt down some trunks for you too. You shouldn’t be in all those layers out here. It’s uncomfortable.”

What a gentlemen, Tony thought with a fond smile. “I’m fine, I promise. But thanks for being so sweet Winghead.”

Steve didn’t even bat an eyelid as he nodded and turned to join the others with a small wave. But that was okay. Tony’s words didn’t mean anything to him. Not the way Tony meant them.

If only he knew how sweet I thought he was.

“Hey Tony. Tony, wake up.”

Hmm?

“Hey, c’mon. Up you get Shellhead, you’ve been asleep for almost two hours! C’mon!”

With a soft groan, Tony turned his head slightly and opened his eyes. Clint was stood above him in a stance like a drill sergeant. His hands were carefully placed against his hips, fingers highlighted by the purple of his Van-Dyne trunks, and he seemed to be waiting, tapping his foot against the warm sand.

Tony squinted against the sun and rubbed at his eyes gently. “What-“ he coughed lightly and blinked up at the archer. “What time is it?”

Something seemed to soften in Clint’s posture and his smile disappeared. Tony wasn’t sure why.

“Ah Tony. I shouldn’t have woken you, I didn’t realize how deep under you were. But I thought maybe we could grab something to bite? The others are just sorting the grill and Steve told me to get you for food.”

That was nice, Tony thought. It was nice that they wanted to include him when he’d been so neglectful these past few weeks. It was just that meeting had been so long these days because of so many investments with SI, and the way the Avengers funding was going, Tony needed whatever deals he could get his hands on. Hence the late nights, near constant jet lag and slow reflexes in fights. Thankfully they’d only had one call to assemble recently and quite frankly, if it had gone on any longer Steve would’ve benched Tony for how sloppy he was being. Luckily it had been an easy fight and Steve hadn’t said anything.

A hand on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts and he sat up slowly, pressing his fingers to his head. Clint watched him warily.

“You okay?”

Tony dropped his fingers and smiled tiredly. “Yeah, sorry. I’m just...who did we fight the other day?” It was strange that he couldn’t remember but that just showed how busy he’d been.

Somehow Clint relaxed and just smiled back at him with a quick shake of his head. “Man, you’ve really been at it these days haven’t you? Don’t worry, it was just Doom, the asshole. We took care of it and did great.”

“That’s good to hear.” Tony still couldn’t remember but he supposed that was really all that mattered.

“Yep. Now-“ With a grin like a canary, Clint slipped his hands around Tony’s and pulled him up to his feet, dragging him out of the safe haven of shade. “Let’s go grab a bite. It’s good, I think Cap’s doing the meats.”

“That’s good.” Tony murmured, not fighting Clint’s tugging to get him moving towards the group in the distance.

Food did sound good right now so he went with the flow.

Clint’s eyes gleamed. “Cap’s meat? Oh yeah, of course. Of course you’d say that.”

“Clint!”

It turned out Steve was indeed in charge of the meats, much to Tony’s frustration. He’d had to bear five minutes of Clint’s ribbing before Steve finally shut him up by grabbing a bottle of water and splashing it on the birdbrain. That made Tony, Peter and Logan roar with laughter.

“Thanks Steve. You’re my hero!” Tony had shouted after calming down.

Steve had beamed at him and flipped a burger with flair. “Anytime sweetheart!”

While Steve and Jan were assembling the biggest burgers known to man, Peter, Logan and Luke were busy wandering by the water, seemingly deep in discussion about the possibility of getting Ororo and Thor to join the next time. Tigra has been the only one kind enough to try and help Clint, though not before laughing at the state of his once dry trunks. Tony wondered if Steve had been aiming for Clint's crotch on purpose, but then again, Steve was Steve.

So things were happening around him, which left Tony to oversee the busy grill and bask under the sun. Standing a meter away from Jan and Steve, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

It was so warm. It felt amazing.

“Tony.” Steve murmured beside him, shaking him out of his daze. Once he blinked the spots out of his eyes, he saw the captain holding a paper plate with a burger so big, Tony was sure Thor would come running all the way from Asgard.

“Oh wow, thank you. This is huge.” Tony’s eyes bugged as Steve lightly nudged it into his hands. It was heavy too. A hefty burger, he thought, feeling giddy.

Steve smiled softly and cupped the back of Tony’s neck gently. He rubbed against Tony’s pulse point and poked at Tony’s waist lightly. “You need to eat, you’ve lost weight. I’m starting to think you didn’t eat anything when you went to Tokyo.”

Tony eyed the burger in his hands and kept his head low, suppressing the urge to shiver as Steve kept stroking his neck. The motion was gentle and made Tony want to almost lie down again. “Thanks cap. And hey, I ate plenty thank you very much! It’s just been hectic!”

“Yeah?” Steve's voice dropped into something low and heated. He met Tony's eyes and kept his thumb pressed gently on his neck. He wasn’t letting go and Tony wasn’t going to stop him.

“Yeah. Can you believe Aim was fighting for a go at Tokyo international?”

Suddenly Steve’s hand froze and his eyes sharpened. “Aim? Tony, when did you-“

“Ah, not Aim.” He realized his mistake and waved a hand. “Another company but not...not Aim. I don’t even know why I said that.” Tony laughed nervously, slightly surprised at his own words there. He wasn’t usually one to mince his words.

Clearly Steve felt the same because he seemed to frown. His hand dropped, much to Tony’s disappointment, but his blue eyes stayed firmly on his form, not letting Tony disappear just yet.

“You still tired? I saw you resting out here but you never went inside the cabin. I think you should-“

“I’m fine honestly! Don’t worry. I just need some food and really, you guys-“

“Tony! Where are your trunks!? Steve mentioned but I can’t believe you-“

Tony and decided to eat while Jan berated him for his poor beach attire. Luckily Steve let it go but not without a slight tip of his chin.

We're not finished here. 

A warning for Tony to rest as soon as he was done eating. He rolled his eyes and took a bite of the delicious burger, ignoring Steve's gaze.

Whatever you say, Captain mother hen.

After a short while, Tony binned his empty plate and rolled up his sleeves and trouser ends to keep the sand away. Then he groaned mentally because of his bloated stomach. He’d eaten way too much and had somehow induced an awful stomach ache but he couldn’t let Steve know. Especially not while the man had been glancing at him every five minutes around his own bear of a burger.

As he distracted himself by searching for a bottle of water in the crate, he heard footsteps pad towards him. Having found a bottle, he cracked open the cap and turned. It was Clint. Of course.

“Hey, fancy a walk? Burn off some of those burger blues?” He said with a wide smile, rocking back lightly on his heels. It was like he knew something and wanted to share a secret with Tony. It reminded him of kindergarten honestly but as always, Tony was hard pressed to disagree.

He took another sip before finally answering with a smile. “Yeah sure. But no skinny dipping in the water.”

Letting out a laugh, Clint turned and waved his hand at the others. “Hey guys, Tony and I are gonna go for a walk. Keep the grill on, I need more burgers for when we’re back.”

“You always need more burgers. You and Peter.” Jan huffed as she sectioned the food on her makeshift work-station.

Steve had been busy lifting the coolers around when he overheard and turned and frowned at Clint. His muscles bulged slightly from the strain of carrying such heavy weights but he didn’t seem to even bat an eye. Instead he stared Clint down with a deep gaze.

“Where are you going?” He asked but it didn’t really come out as a question. For some reason, Tony swallowed his throat. Steve’s fists were clenching hard on the box handles.

“Just along the shores. For about twenty minutes or so.”

“And you’re taking Tony?”

“Yep. That, ah-“ Clint swallowed too and rubbed his neck nervously. So much for being an Avenger. “That okay with you?”

“Yes, of course.” Steve’s eye twitched and he tried to smile. Tony thought he looked like he was being forced to smile for a family photo, where the family didn't get on. “Just as long as it’s just twenty minutes. Don’t stay out too long.”

Beaming, Clint reached over and grabbed Tony’s wrist, pulling him ever so slightly closer. He looked like he’d just beaten the Hulk in an arm wrestle, which was just ridiculous to Tony. There was no winning against Steve.

“Don’t worry Cap. I’ll keep him safe.” He winked and puffed a breath on Tony’s neck lightly. Tony startled as heat rushed to his face while Steve growled.

“Don’t. Do that. Again.” He practically roared, causing Peter and Tigra to lift their heads up from a distance. That didn’t stop Steve from looking like the Hulk about to pitch a fit or Tony from collapsing on the floor in shock.

“Steve?” He tried but it went completely ignored. Clint just rolled his eyes and pulled Tony in the opposite direction to the volcanic Captain.

"Why did you do that?" Tony finally asked, having spent the first ten minutes of the walk trying to work out why Clint had done...what he did. 

"Do what?" He replied cheerfully, staring at the sand as they walked along the shore. Occasionally the water would lick at their feet and fade, leaving a nice cool feeling on their skin. It was a wonderful contrast to the heat of the sun, Tony felt.

"The-the thing." Tony gestured to his neck. "In front of Steve." 

If Tony hadn't known any better, he would've assumed it was because Clint was trying to get a rise out of Steve. Which made no sense because Steve didn't feel that way about him. It was so obvious.

"Dude, you know why." Clint was still kicking at the sand lazily, hands tucked into his pocket like a kid in recess. 

“No, I really don’t. If you’re trying to mock me-“

“Whoa, no. I am not. Look, we all know Steve is into you but-“

Tony paused. The sand stopped crunching under his feet. The rays hit him like a thousand spotlights. 

He swayed where he stood and blinked furiously. “What did you just say?” He whispered, unable to voice it any louder. Somewhere in front of him, Clint had stopped too.

“Tony?” Clint pulled his hands out of his pockets and reached out. He touched Tony’s shoulder gently. 

“Are you okay?”

“I-“ With a shaky hand, Tony reached up and rubbed at the beads of sweat on his forehead. It was really unexpected. In fact, it was shocking, like a bomb had gone off right behind him and he hadn’t even realized until now. 

Without saying anything, he lifted his head that felt like it weighed a ton and stared at Clint with wide eyes. And that was enough for realization to dawn in Clint’s eyes.

“You didn’t know?” And no, he hadn’t. He really fucking hadn’t.

“You’re lying. You have to be.” Tony coughed out, struggling to swallow around the frog in his throat. Everything was a blur behind Clint.  

Steve didn’t like him like that. Steve didn’t even know about his feelings. Steve was-was-

“Hey, it’s fine, relax. It’s not a big deal, you don’t need to worry-“

“Do you really think he likes me like that?” His hands felt shaky and so did his voice. His throat was so dry he could barely speak without his voice breaking. It was almost too much to bear, even his head was throbbing now.

In front of him, Clint was looking decidedly guilty, like he’d just pulled a joke that had gone horribly wrong. Hell, maybe he had.

“I’m sorry.” Clint said in a small voice, looking deflated. “I thought you knew. He likes you a lot Tony.”

Awe-struck, Tony shook his head and began to walk again. He needed to do something to clear his head, even if it was just moving.

“Tony!” Clint yelled behind him, chasing after him. “It’s not that big of a deal, really. He’ll stay professional and eventually he’ll forget about it-“

Anger coursed through him like a river. The thought was almost worse. “No, no! He can’t forget.” Tony sucked in a deep breath and cleared the spots out of his eyes. His body throbbed in rhythm with his pulse and he felt strangely weak and dizzy. “If he forgets, he won’t-I won’t be able to-“

Tell him. Tell him how I feel.

“Tony? Hey Tony?” Clint’s voice sounded far away but Tony didn’t have time to think about that. 

“I have to-Steve.” His thoughts were mashed together and he could barely hold onto a string of thought. He knew he needed to get to Steve though, so he did the smartest thing he could.

He spun on his feet and started to storm back to the team. 

“Tony!”

His hands shook. Things were starting to go grey.

“Hey Tony!”

Something was wrong. He didn’t know what but something was-

“Tony. Look at me.” Hands grabbed his shoulders and shook him lightly. When he looked up there was a blur that sounded like Clint. 

“You’ve gone really pale. I think you need a doctor. Tony? Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah...” Sounds were starting to fade. He couldn’t hear the sea anymore. “I don’t feel so...” he murmured, barely registering Clint’s hands pulling his head down to rest on his shoulder while he was being guided down onto the ground. He felt so lightheaded, like just a breath would knock him down and-

His eyes closed as things started to go completely dark. “I think I’m gonna...”

He lost all thoughts after that.

“-told you!”

“I’m sorry. I told you, I really didn’t mean for this to happen, I swear.”

“I’ve got the pillows!” 

Sounds were starting to come back. And slowly Tony started to tune into what was going on. 

“How long has he been like this? Was he showing any signs before he-?”

Hands gently lifted his head and placed something soft under him. Then his legs too. That was good, it felt nice, especially as his skin felt so hypersensitive right now.

Had someone unbuttoned his shirt? 

“I don’t know. We were just talking and then I noticed he was starting to go really pale. Then he started to sway and I just grabbed him and lay him down. He’d already passed out before I’d gotten him on the ground I think.” 

That was Clint. But there were other voices too. He thought he’d heard Steve and Jan and maybe Peter too. Just as well, they could use a team bonding exercise. 

“Keep his legs up. I’m gonna try again.” A hand cupped his cheek gently and rubbed a thumb over his pulse. Tony frowned because that seemed familiar. Instinctively, he pressed into it.

“Hey Tony that’s it. C’mon, open your eyes for us. Time to wake up Avenger.” Steve was speaking softly but Tony could hear the slight tremor in his voice. Below the calm was a storm that only Tony could recognize.

His eyes flickered open and he winced against the light. And slowly he took stock of where he was.

He was lying flat on the sun-bed he’d been at earlier, only his legs had been propped up on the slope part with pillows. Above him were the voices he’d heard in the form of silhouettes blocking the sky. It hit him then.

He’d passed out. And now they were all panicking. 

Great. Way to ruin everyone's break.

“I’m fine.” He breathed out, feeling so tired. But still, he had to get up. He had to show them he was fine. He couldn't bother them with this.

Bracing his hands, he lifted himself up and began to sit up only for things to blur again and go hazy. Hands grabbed his shoulders and gently lay him flat again before he could do more.

“You’re not fine.” Steve stated, slightly angered, taking his hands away but staring Tony down.

“You’re not fine Tony. You need medical attention. And I don't wanna hear another word.”

Tony blinked tiredly up at him and didn’t say a word. He couldn’t bring himself to, even if he tried.

Something darkened in Steve’s eyes and he turned to Luke who was on the phone behind him. 

“Tell Strange to hurry up. I don’t want to be waiting any longer.” 

Five minutes later, Strange was kneeling beside Tony in thought. Though Tony felt better now and not as shaky, he knew better than to try and get up with Steve watching. The rest of the team were standing in a loose circle around them like a barrier, having already given him some water.

Strange continued to rub at his chin for a few minutes until;

“Heat exhaustion.” 

Steve raised and brow unimpressed and stared the sorcerer down. Never let it be said that Steve wasn’t brave.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Strange replied, gesturing to Tony’s body. “Look at how he’s dressed. Not to mention, fatigue, high temperature, stomach pains, confusion and finally...” Strange glanced at Tony and frowned a little, almost like a disappointed parent. “Fainting.”

“How did you know about the cramps?” Tony murmured, trying his best to ignore Steve’s laser stare.

“You’re tensing up. And Luke told me you were crouching down after you ate.” With a roll of his eyes, Strange eyed the team around them. “You shouldn’t have let him stay out this long in the clothes he was in. And he was already exhausted, even the news showed that.”

“Oh god, Tony we’re so sorry.” Jan whispered, breaking the circle to kneel next to him. She brushed his hair back and pressed her palm to his forehead. “Let’s get you cooled down okay?”

“Hmmm.” Tony hummed and felt his eyes drift shut. That sounded really nice.

“He’s going to be out of it for a while. Be careful with him and makes sure he drinks plenty of water. Keep an eye that he doesn’t get heat stroke. I’d suggest you keep him inside.” Strange warned though he was mainly facing Steve.

“On it. Thanks Strange.” Steve said abruptly and didn’t waste a second. He knelt down on Tony’s other side and slipped a hand under his shoulders and knees, lifting him up swiftly and pulling him tightly to his chest.

Tony groaned and blinked up at him but the blonde wasn’t facing him. 

“I’ll stay with him, make sure he’s okay. The rest of you sort everything out. Jan, see if we can find any cold packs from the coolers.”

Suddenly looking tired, Jan nodded and gestured for the others to start clearing things. Steve turned and began to carry Tony back to the cabin.

“Steve...” Tony murmured, feeling too sick to lift his head up further. 

“Easy. I’ve got you.”

The cabin drew closer and closer but all Tony could think of was how much better he’d feel once he was out of these clothes. His head swam with exhaustion and everything Strange had mentioned was catching up to him. 

Things were starting to feel distant again.

“Tony?” Steve jostled him lightly once they were inside the cabin and almost at the bedroom at the back. “Are you alright? Do you feel faint?”

Tony’s eyelids fluttered again and when he looked up, it was to Steve’s blue eyes drowning in worry. The number of times Tony had seen that look on the battlefield was countless.

But this was the first time he’d seen Steve look so worried with him outside of the armour. It made him want to wipe that fear off Steve’s face.

“I’m fine.” He tried, only Steve just stared at him and finally placed him down on the soft bed covers, seated upright with a hand curled around him. With his other hand, he reached over and switched on the AC.

“We need to get you out of these clothes. Do you mind if I....” Steve gestured to take them off and Tony nodded, not really sure what he was agreeing to. 

That was until Steve gripped his shirt lapels and pulled them down his shoulders, tugging them off completely when they caught on Tony’s wrists. Once off, he flung it across the room and placed his hands on Tony’s shoulders again. And slowly, he pushed Tony down till he was lying flat.

“You’re so warm.” He murmured, reaching up to brush Tony’s hair back from his forehead. “Need to get you some water. Maybe a shower.”

Feeling his face warm even more, Tony swallowed the stone in his throat and tried not to shift too much when he felt Steve start to unbutton his pants. They’d seen each other naked plenty of times-in the showers after a fight, in the gym, after the Molecule Man. But they’d never done this for each other. Steve had never stripped him.

It’s like a bad porno, he thought to himself giddily.

“Easy.” Steve repeated with laser focus, almost as if he wasn’t speaking to Tony. His hands however hooked into his pants and spanned Tony’s waist comfortably, finally pushing down and getting rid of them. Tony’s legs were free and he was finally in his boxers. 

Thank god he’d left his red thongs at home. That was just sheer dumb luck really, considering how fond he was of them. Lucky Steve.

“Thank you.” Tony breathed, moving his body to make a star over the soft covers and reach the cool patches. He felt ten times better already.

“You’re welcome.” Steve settled on the bed next to him, leaning over him with a relieved smile. He looked like Atlas without the weight on his shoulders. “Better?”

Tony hummed happily and rolled over to face the blockade that was Steve. His eyes fell to half mast tiredly, but he mustered some gratitude. “Much. You have no idea.”

“True. I’ve always had a better idea with the cold myself.”

“Frozen cubes.” Tony’s eyes slipped closed as he pictured the image of Steve in the ice. Then he smiled to himself. Warmth bloomed in his chest as the memory came to him, different to the heat he’d felt outside.

“Best...best day of my life.”

Before he could stop and take it back, Steve’s hand sank into his hair. “What was?” Something warm had filled Steve’s voice now. Against his will, Tony’s smile could only grow.

“Finding you. Captain America.” Tony shimmied closer and pressed his cheek against Steve’s thigh, desperate for more cold. And maybe a bit of comfort if he wasn’t lying to himself.

Steve’s hand sifted through his hair and Tony got the distinct impression he was being observed. “Finding me, huh?”

“Mmhmmm. But not Captain America.”

“No?” Steve sounded amused now.

Tony shook his head tiredly and yawned. “No....Steve Rogers.”

There was silence. The light in the room was turned off and the bed creaked and then-

“Well, you wanna know something?” Steve’s voice dropped low and suddenly seemed right above him now, a call to him in the dark, pulling Tony to sleep.

“Meeting you was the best thing in my life Tony. I love you so much.”

“Love...love you too.”

He drifted to the soft breaths of Steve beside him. It was enough to pull him to sleep and have such wonderful dreams. He might’ve hallucinated those last words, or he might’ve not. For all he knew, this could all have been a dream.

He hoped not. He hoped he’d wake up and maybe Steve would still love him. That maybe Clint would be right too.

When Tony woke, he wasn’t sure what time it was or where he was supposed to be. Ever so slowly he opened his eyes and yawned, stretching out and trying to recall what he’d been doing before he’d slept. 

His hand hit something. And that something moved.

Wide eyed, Tony turned and stared. Steve was lying right beside him, eyes gazing softly at him and blinking heavily as if he’d just woken up to. Only, his hand was curled around Tony and pressing a cool pack to Tony’s neck. 

Now that Tony was awake, he realized there were more cool packs scattered around his feet and arms. 

Well. That explained why he felt a lot better.

“Tony.” Steve yawned too and stretched out. He’d not changed, having laid down in his trunks on the bed. Why he was on the bed, Tony had no idea, but he figured it was a good way to keep an eye on someone who wasn’t feeling well. 

He would never admit that his heart was absolutely bursting at the feeling of Steve staying with him to look after him. That Steve would willingly put others aside just to make sure he was okay.

It made Tony feel so happy. He didn’t even care about what Clint had said earlier. He had this and he’d always have this.

Shifting till he was on his back, Tony rested his hands on his stomach lightly and smiled up at Steve. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself. How’re you feeling?” Steve’s eyes roamed over his body carefully before coming back up. “You look a lot better. And your temperature's come down, I checked.”

“That’s because I am better. I feel great thanks to you.” 

“I’m glad.” Steve’s eyes dimmed for a moment and his lips fell. “You had me really worried there.”

At that, Tony could only apologize. He really hadn’t meant to scare anyone, even if it meant the personal attention of his favorite person, maybe ever.

He rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever passed out like that. What happened?”

“I’m not too sure. All I know is that I heard Clint call me over and then we all went to him to find you out cold. He said you hadn’t really been making much sense before and then...” Steve sighed and looked away. “I shouted at him and called Strange. I really shouldn’t have done that.”

Oh. Well that was...

“A little extreme there Cap? It wasn’t his fault.”

“I know.” Steve’s mood darkened and he sat up as a way to avoid Tony’s gaze. Tony knew what he was thinking though. He always knew.

He sat up too and placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “It’s not yours either.” Tony ducked his head down and pulled the hands that Steve was now hiding his face in. 

“I...” When Steve turned they were nose-to-nose, just inches from each other. “I was worried. I should’ve noticed, hell I did notice. That’s what gets me. I already thought something was wrong.”

“Well maybe you’re Thor or Strange because I sure as hell didn’t know.” Tony snorted at the realization. “I thought I just had bad stomach cramps and Clint was annoying me.”

That seemed to pacify Steve a little though he still frowned. But at least his shoulders had relaxed. 

“The team came to check on you while you were asleep. Clint feels really bad though. He’s avoiding me.” 

“Steve.” Tony raised his brow at him, trying not to laugh too much until Steve finally rolled his eyes and threw his hands up.

“Fine.” The Captain huffed, folding his arms. “I’ll apologize to him later.”

“Good. And don’t forget to bring him more burgers. He did catch me before I went down completely.”

The worry came back in full force. “You are feeling okay though right? Can I give you more water?”

“I’m fine. I promise.” 

They continued to talk casually with Tony drinking some water in the middle. Their banter came to a pause when Jan poked her head through the door and beamed.

“Tony! You’re awake, thank god!” Jan seemed absolutely thrilled which was touching to see. She stepped into the room and made her way to Tony’s side, reaching out to rub his shoulder. “You had us worried there. Especially Steve here.”

Steve didn’t bother denying it. He just shrugged his shoulders and curled an arm around Tony. 

“I always worry about him.”

Watching the duo, Jan simply smiled and pressed her palm to Tony’s neck. After a minute she nodded and let go, placing her hands on her hips in thought.

“We’ve packed everything and we’re good to go. What do you wanna do Cap?”

“Tell everyone we’ll leave in twenty. I’m just gonna sort a few things. Tony's better off resting at home.” Tony flashed him a grateful look. As much as he wanted everyone to enjoy it here, he really, really wanted to just go home and sleep this off in the comfort of his mansion.

Steve answered him with a gentle squeeze.

“Sure.” Jan gave them a knowing look before turning towards the door. At the last minute, she turned.

“Don’t be too rough with him. He is running low on steam.” She said with a Cheshire Cat grin.

Tony blinked in muted shock. Steve returned the smirk. “I won’t. Don’t worry, he’s in safe hands.”

Jan laughed and left them to it. It was just the two of them again.

Tony kept his gaze firmly on the bed covers. There was something else he wanted to talk about but didn’t really know how to approach it. He wanted to know if what Clint had said was true or not.

Stealing his nerves, he swallowed and reached for Steve’s hand around his waist.

Steve’s eyes were fixed on him, silent and still as a statue. He didn’t seem to breathe.

“Steve...” Tony swallowed and closed around the soldier’s hand.

C’mon Stark. You can do this.

“Do-do you...?” He swallowed again and glanced quickly at the man but too quickly to gauge his reactions. He decided not to let that stop him. 

“Do you...have feelings for me?”

There. He’d said it. It was out there now and there was no taking it back. The cat was out of the bag. Schrödinger’s cat was out there crying somewhere. Reed would throw a fit.

Steve wasn’t saying a word. Not a single word. Nothing. Silence.

Finally Tony let his shoulders fall and faced the man he’d loved since the day he’d welcomed him into his home. The only man he could trust. The only one he’d give more than his life for.

Who he’d overcome his fear for. Which was what he was doing now.

Steve’s eyes were huge. Round and bright and full of emotions. His expression was one of awe but also shock, like he’d never imagined Tony could ask such a thing and now Tony felt like an idiot because what had he just done?

“Forget it.” He blurted out, taking his hand away and waving them at Steve frantically. “Forget I said anything. God, I don’t-I don’t even know what I was thinking!” Tony finished with hysterical laughter that ended in something of a sob. That wouldn’t do, he already felt sick from earlier.

“Well I guess it can’t be helped.” Steve finally broke out of his spell and spoke in a hushed tone. He seemed quiet and resigned but not deflated. If anything...

He looked ready. He looked like Captain America about to face Thanos or Galactus or-

“I do. Have feelings for you.” Steve replied firmly, not smiling at all but looking ever so hopeful as he eyed Tony carefully. He leaned closer and stared Tony down with laser focus. 

“I thought you knew. It’s nothing new.” Steve explained, scanning Tony's expression as if searching for something.

Clint’s words came racing back. Did everyone know?

“How long?”

“Since we had our first training session I think? Since I first imagined you in the armour? Hell, maybe it was when I saw you in those tiny thongs of yours, who knows?” Steve’s eyes were bright with joy as he spoke and getting brighter and brighter. Whatever he'd been looking for, he'd found it. 

“I know it’s been a long time. That’s all I know. And that you’re the most incredible man I’ve ever met. I’ve loved you for so damn long, it’s impossible for me not to.” 

What?

Comets could fall before Tony would actually know what to say. The world could end and Loki could attack for all he cared. Jarvis could burst through the door, screaming about the Hulk. 

None of it would matter. Steve loved him. Steve really loved him.

“I...I feel the same.” Tony said in a hushed voice, almost afraid to burst this fragile bubble of peace around them. Where all he’d ever wanted was real. He felt giddy like a kid again. Like when he’d first flown in the armour or first met Steve. So many emotions, he couldn’t put a name to.

When he finally mustered the courage to properly look, Steve was staring back with tear-filled eyes. He was smiling a thousand watt smile that lit up the room. Tony never wanted to take that smile away.

“God Shellhead.” Steve reached over and pulled him close, hugging him tightly to his chest and brushing his nose against his hair. Tony wrapped his arms around him too and squeezed. “You’ve made me so happy, I can’t even-“

“I know. I know what you mean-”

“Can we-can we please-“

“Yes.”

“God.” Steve moaned though it was muffled in Tony’s hair. “I love you. I’m so lucky to have you.”

Tony’s face crumpled at that and to his complete horror, tears began to leak out of his eyes. “Me too.”

“Shhhh Shellhead. It’s okay.” Steve squeezed gently and pulled back, smiling lightly, though tears were there in his eyes too. 

“I love you so much Tony.”

“I love you too.” He croaked back, knowing full well that things would change.

As they hugged each other tightly in this small cabin under the fading sun, Tony allowed his mind to finally embrace the possibilities. All those feelings, all those hopes and wishes he’d harbored for years. 

He looked up at Steve. Steve smiled back at him.

"So no more passing out from the heat okay? No more scaring me like that. You're too important to me." Steve whispered into the space between them and Tony wondered if somewhere, somehow this was the turning point. Where their lives would change.

"I'll try. Thankyou for always being there for me."

"Anytime Shellhead. Anytime."

He had everything he wanted. He’d never felt happier.