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I sighed loudly to myself, the huff of cold air cut into the room, breaking the silence with a slice. The sound of my school papers scraping across my faux wooden desk followed not far behind like a drop to a song.
"Fuck me."
I groaned out, throwing my head back against my off white office chair, causing a wave of blonde to cascade around my scowling face.
"Oh, Damn already?
I just walked in luci at least let me take my pants off first."
I whipped my head around, disgust clear on my tan face, and once I faced the door I saw one of my younger brothers leaning against the frame, a wide smirk spread across his stupid face.
"Oh shut up Gabriel.
That's disgusting."
I scrunch my face up at the thought and Damn near gag at the mental image.
"Plus this paper is coming along like a snails ass and I really don't need your shit right now."
I emphasize my point by gesturing to the pile of plain notebook paper laid out on my desk, like photos at a crime scene.
Gabriel griminced, his sandy eyebrows drawing down with his mouth almost as if they were attached by a string.
I knew that look,
And it wasn't a good one.
I smack my lips together in irritation, my Jean clad legs shifting on the chair beneath me.
"What happened Gabriel?"
My tone was deadpan, and Gabriel must have been able to see my thin patience because he wasted no time, and instead jumped right into his story.
"So,
Michael may or may not have taped a banana to the wall,
And summoned everyone down to the living room to quote "Meet our new lord and savior Banana Jesus" end quote.
And this banana Lucy."
Gabriel shifted his weight to his opposite foot, and I frowned in disappointment when he didn't slip and fall down the staircase.
What the hell even is this story?
"This banana has a face on it-
Actually it kind of reminds me of that plank from Ed, Ed and Eddy.
You remember plank right?"
I only responded with a blank face and a slow blink.
"Of course you do,
Everyone remembers plank."
He whispers to himself, before adding louder for my ears.
"Well, anyway Michael is down there worshiping a banana, and the bros and I are taking bets on whether it's coke or end of term stress."
Gabriel raises his thin eyebrows in question,
"We want your opinion on what you thought it was,
Though in my opinion the robe he is wearing screams coke ."
I stare at Gabriel, raising my eyebrows back in return.
"Are you done?"
Gabriel scuffs at my board tone.
"Come on Lucy!
Michael has finally cracked like an egg on a hot sidewalk!
You were the one to bet he would lose it first remember??"
Gabriel gestures widely toward me,
Facial expression bordering wild,
While mine stayed uninterested.
"You're full of it."
Gabriel huffs, ringed fingers coming up to clutch over his heart.
"Never."
I roll my eyes and go to spin my chair back around, but Gabriel's next words stop me.
"Dude, come on!
I'm actually fucking serious here.
Michael-
The Older perfect brother-
Dad's favorite-
Is down in our fucking living room wearing-
I shit you not,
MONKS ROBES
And not only that but there is a BANANA taped to our living room WALL
Which-
Which!
Michael for some unknown fucking reason believes is the second coming of Jesus!!
LIKE COME ONN!"
I freeze my movement, bitten nails drumming against my desktop as I listen to Gabriel rant rather passionately.
"Don't you want to see that lu?
Like come on,
This shit is straight out of a bad sitcom,
And I bet it is more entertaining than wasting another hour up here working on that essay that we both know-
Mr. Macloed won't even read."
Gabriel shifts again before speaking in a slightly more acceptable indoor voice.
"So what's it going to be?
Watch Michael crash and burn?
Or achieve carpal tunnel?"
I sigh before pushing myself up from my chair.
"Fine.
You have my interest."
Gabriel smirks wide like a shark and opens his big mouth to no doubt say some sarcastic comment,
But I raise my hand in front of his face and cut his words off before they can tumble out of his mouth.
" But I'm only going to watch Michael crash,
And if this is a prank
They'll never find your body."
"AY!"
Gabriel smiles wide and gummy,
Taking my words as a joke,
Even though I was being more serious than dad was about his relationship with his children.
"Atta boy,
Let's go."
Gabriel slaps my back unnecessarily hard before bounding down the carpeted staircase.
I glare after his descending form, and hoped for the second time that day, that he would fall down the steps.
No such luck.
As Gabriel and I make our way down the narrow staircase, the sound of Michael chanting reaches our ears.
Holy fuck, Gabriel wasn't lying.
There in the center of our tacky and overly crowded living room, was Michael.
Who was in fact, wearing monks robes and kneeling down with his head bowed,
Muscled arms raised up above his head,
crooked fingers pointing into the direction of-
Yep.
A rotting banana with an overly happy face and false eyelashes, who was only held onto the dirt brown wall by a strip of silver duct tape.
"Told you."
Gabriel whispered to me, almost as if he was afraid of interrupting Michael 's ominous chanting.
I physically couldn't produce a sound, as I watched Michael in wonder.
Is this what happiness feels like?
I heard footsteps to the left of me, but couldn't look away from the train wreck that was Michael 's 23 year on this earth.
This is so awful that it's amazing.
"So what's your beat?"
"Coke."
Next to me Gabriel fist bumps the air, looking every bit the massive dork he pretended he wasn't.
"Hard Coke for sure."
"Told you it was Coke Cassie."
"Watching our brother ruining his life is not a cause for celebration Gabriel."
So that's how my last night of collage ended.
With me standing in the middle of my shitty living room with two of my closest brothers on either side of me, our hound sitting by the feet of Gabriel as we all watched in a mix between discomfort and humor as Michael plagued his loyalty to a rotting Banana.
What a wild fucking ride.