Archive of Our Own

Marinette was a rational person.

She was very sensible and calculating. She could see all the angles to a plan and delegate those around her to perfectly articulate it.

Sometimes it was a struggle, but Tikki assured Marinette that she did have good judgment and could follow through with the best decision.

Making routine evening visits to Adrien Agreste while she was under the guise of Ladybug, however, was probably not a good decision…

Ladybug’s responsible (and panicked) side screamed at her mercilessly. So many things could potentially go wrong. Paris was not dead at nighttime; someone could easily spot her swinging over to the Agreste mansion. Gabriel Agreste kept his home tightly secured like an actual prison with security cameras from practically every angle. She’d probably be caught on tape! And then there was the possibility her superhero partner would happen to be patrolling and catch her in the act. She wouldn’t know how to explain her actions to him without becoming a flustered mess.

And yet, after a few weeks of swinging into the young model’s room and making herself at home, nobody was ever the wiser of her actions.

She really must be lucky!

The visits were harmless. Ladybug would knock on his window and after Adrien allowed her in, the two would sit on his couch and talk. She couldn’t divulge in her own life because it would obviously lead back to Marinette, but she instead listened to him.

Adrien would talk about his day with her. What he did, where he went, what he planned on doing the next day. Other times he talked about his mom. He did that a lot and Ladybug’s heart would always melt upon seeing the happy look in his green eyes whenever he spoke of the woman. Then her heart would drop to her feet when those same green eyes would shine with unshed tears as it hit her that this boy will never experience those tender moments with his mother ever again.

The talks would often go into heavier topics other than his lack of mother. They would be about his father and how distant he was—how Adrien felt so inadequate in his presence. About the stresses in his life and how tough it was to maintain an image. He tried to put on a brave front but Ladybug knew better; and it tore her up inside how with all the power she held she couldn’t think of anything more to do for this sweet boy than be a listening ear.

“Listening helps,” Adrien would tell her whenever Ladybug apologized and verbalized her desire to do more for him. She believed him, but she was always left feeling like she failed him in some ways.

These nights ended the same way. Ladybug would give Adrien a parting hug, telling him she’ll always be there for him (not just as a superhero, but his friend) before she whisked herself off into the night and back home.

If she could tell him who she was maybe she could do more for him. Then she could be his shoulder to lean on as both Ladybug and Marinette.

But it was dangerous. She knew this. She shouldn’t be risking his life and her identity by keeping up these visits.

Tikki wasn’t thrilled with Marinette’s decision and often suggested that she should be there for Adrien as a civilian instead. Marinette was fine with that idea, but there was a problem…

She had attempted in her every day life to try and be there for him, but alas, it seemed she still got incredibly tongue-tied with the blond. Marinette despised that the only way she could converse with her love was with a mask on. She lamented her woes to Tikki, who encouraged her to build up her confidence and keep trying.

But they both knew it was a lost cause—Ladybug always came back to see Adrien.

If she could place blame on anyone, she’d put it on Chat Noir.

Because, really, he started all of this in the first place by visiting Marinette.

It wasn’t intentional. It started one evening when Marinette couldn’t sleep. She needed something to help her relax so she decided to sketch out some designs. She didn’t feel like going down the stairs to her desk and turning on a light, so she instead went to her balcony.

As she engrossed herself in drawing rough drafts with nothing but her fairy lights to see with, she wasn’t aware of the sound of boots hitting the railing of her balcony.

“Marinette, it’s almost one in the morning, why are you still awake?”

His voice gave Marinette quite the shock. She squeaked in surprise as she tipped back in her lounge chair, sketchbook flinging from her hands and into the air. She heard it smack onto the floor somewhere behind her. She glared at the black cat-themed hero.

“Chat Noir! You scared me!”

Chat Noir winced, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

“Sorry, Princess… I was just seeing what you were still doing up.”

Marinette sighed as she righted herself from her ungraceful heap, “Couldn’t sleep. Decided to get some sketching done for a couple of commissions.” She then turned her gaze to him. “What about you? Why are you out so late?”

Chat shrugged, standing up from his crouched position to walk along the rail, “Couldn’t sleep either. Decided to do some late night patrolling when I saw your lights on. Figured I’d make sure you were okay.”

She smiled at that. Even though Chat didn’t know who she was he was still looking out for her. “That’s sweet of you, Chat Noir. I’m okay, though; just have a lot on my mind. I should actually go back inside and try to sleep.”

Her words appeared to have grabbed his attention as he hopped off the rail to land in front of her, “Oh? What’s on your mind? Want to talk about it?”

Marinette stiffened at the questions. Truthfully, what was on her mind was her busy schedule—this included her duties as Ladybug and the new guardian of the Miracle Box. As much as she wanted to talk about the stresses of her life, it wouldn’t be a good idea to dump them onto Chat Noir. After all, she wasn’t Ladybug at the moment.

Marinette tried to dodge the subject, “I-It’s okay! Nothing that needs to be divulged onto a busy hero like yourself! Gosh, it really is late, huh? I should go!”

“Marinette,” his patient voice cut her nervous ramblings off, “if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I won’t press. But know that I am here if you want to talk. I’ve heard that talking things out help people become more at ease.”

Marinette regarded her partner carefully. His smile was small, but soft. His cat-like eyes showed sincerity. She could tell he really was concerned for her and her wellbeing. It was nice, this feeling of someone looking out for her instead of being the one who looked after others.

She gave a defeated sigh and grabbed her sketchbook from where it fell when he abruptly startled her. Once it was retrieved, she sat back down onto her lounge chair, Chat Noir taking space onto its twin. It was a good thing it was the weekend and not a school night…

“Okay, so I have this commission…”

And that’s how it started. Somehow that one night led to others. Marinette would be out on her balcony and Chat Noir would accompany her. Their talks ranged from how Marinette’s day went to literally nothing of importance at all. It was reminiscent of how Marinette interacted with her partner when they went on patrol, but there was something different about these interactions. Something more…personable? Marinette couldn’t divulge Chat with details of her life when she was Ladybug, so having that freedom to do so as Marinette was therapeutic in a way. The fact that he was patient and listened to her every rant and ramble without interruption made things easier too.

It was nice… She enjoyed their time together.

This feeling of belonging was what led her to start visiting Adrien. She really didn’t mean to; it just kind of happened.

One minute she was on patrol as per her usual routine, making her way back to her place, and then the next she was perched on the Agrestes’ wall directly in front of Adrien’s room. She knew she shouldn’t peek in on him, but Ladybug couldn’t help it—her feelings for him were as strong as ever.

She could see him pacing his room and her eyes furrowed in worry. He appeared stressed, she could see his mouth moving but there wasn’t anyone else in the room that she could see—was he talking to himself? Finally, Adrien moved to his couch and sat down, his head bent forward and hands shielding his eyes. Ladybug gasped when she saw his shoulders shaking, like her precious friend was crying.

Oh no, this could not do!

What if he were to be Akumatized?!

Ladybug had to do something!

So she swung the short distance from her perch on the wall to his window and tapped on it, alerting the blond of her presence. He jerked at the sound and stared wide-eyed and slackjawed at the sight of her. Scrambling from the couch, he opened the window for her.

“Ladybug?” he asked completely awed despite the thickness of his voice from his sobs, “What are you doing here?”

Ladybug smiled at him as she entered his room.

“I was in the neighborhood and couldn’t help but notice you looking upset. Would you like to talk about it?” Chat Noir’s face appeared in the back of her mind as she repeated his words to Adrien, “I’ve heard that talking things out help people become more at ease.”

He gave her a watery smile and a nod of affirmation.

Thus started Ladybug’s own quest to look out for someone close to her…

It had been a month since the late night visits started.

At first Marinette was nervous her rendezvous with both Chat and Adrien would coincide, but surprisingly they didn’t. It was like she and Chat were unknowingly formulating a perfect schedule for each get-together.

Chat Noir and Ladybug did joint patrol twice a week. Chat Noir had explained to Marinette that he wouldn’t be able to visit her on those nights so Marinette felt obligated to tell Adrien the same. It was for the best—after all, Marinette needed some sleep, right?

That left Ladybug and Chat Noir’s own separate patrols. Marinette knew Chat Noir just did solo patrols as a way to stretch his legs and get away from his home from time to time, but she didn’t want him to be the only one seen by the night public, so Ladybug took up solo patrols of her own. Eventually it became their set schedule, which in hindsight worked perfectly.

When it was Chat’s night to solo patrol, Marinette was on her balcony waiting for him with cookies and hot chocolate.

When it was Ladybug’s turn, Adrien was in his room practicing his piano, a tray of tea and biscuits on the table in front of the couch waiting for her.

It was a peculiar routine Marinette found herself in but she can’t bring herself to complain. Both boys meant a great deal to her. She was happy to spend equal amounts of time with them.

That is, until it soon became a looming problem for her in a way she never expected….

Her visits with Adrien started casual enough, but Marinette knew her obvious interest in him would rear its head sooner or later. And she was starting to have that growing bubble of hope that maybe Adrien was feeling the same about her as well.

Well, feelings for Ladybug that is, but hey, same difference right?

It was innocent enough, some friendly banter here and there with some light flirting sprinkled in. Soon the light flirting got a little heavier and the distance they placed between themselves grew shorter. The more emotional nights when Adrien opened up to her would lead to handholding and then cuddling on the couch.

It was usually after these more intimate sessions that Tikki would beg Marinette to quit the visits. It wasn’t smart to pursue a relationship with a civilian. There could be serious consequences if she weren’t careful!

And Marinette knew all of this.

But God, it had taken her ages to get to where she’s at with Adrien. Could you blame her for wanting to be a little selfish once in a while?

She was holding back, she really was. Had she not been, she and Adrien would be full on snogging on that couch rather than cuddling!

(Tikki was not amused with her when she revealed that piece of information, but hey, what can you do?)

Ladybug was actually considering pursuing a secret relationship with the handsome boy in front of her when something happened that she never dreamed would.

The image of a certain cat-themed superhero kept popping up in her head, rudely interrupting her thoughts of Adrien.

Whenever she was with the blond model she felt a nagging feeling of betrayal. Like, the reason she shouldn’t be with Adrien wasn’t because it was a safety issue, but because of how hurt Chat Noir would be if he knew she was with Adrien instead of him.

And it was absolutely ridiculous! She wasn’t in love with Chat Noir! He wasn’t her boyfriend! She was in love with Adrien! She wanted to be with him!

So why can’t she get her stupid partner out of her head?!

“Umm, Ladybug? Are you okay?” Adrien asked her.

“Huh?” she whirled around to face him. She was so caught up in her thoughts she almost forgot where she was.

“You’re holding my hand a little too tightly…” Adrien said awkwardly.

Ladybug squeaked in embarrassment, taking her hand away from his. “Sorry! Sorry! I was just…uhh…thinking about something…” Or someone…

“Oh. I see. Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

His concern made her feel warm, but the sudden comparisons she began making turned that warmth into ice. His eyes were such a beautiful green…but half of her wanted them to take on a cat-like appearance. His soft smile was genuine…but she wanted to see it as a flirty smirk too. And the way he asked if she wanted to talk about what was one her mind reminded her of Chat and how he would ask if Marinette wanted to talk.

She hated this. She hated how she would often compare the two boys. Adrien was his own person; it was unfair of Marinette to project Chat Noir onto him. Just like how it was unfair during those moments she would project Adrien onto Chat.

She was a messed up person. She knew exactly what was going on—she had just been too stubborn to admit it.

She was falling in love with Chat Noir, and it was getting in the way of her feelings for Adrien.

But she still loved her classmate—just as much as she did on that fateful day in the rain when he gave her his umbrella. The problem lied in the fact that her heart managed to find enough room to fit Chat Noir in it.

She was torn between the two boys and she couldn’t bring herself to choose.

How awful of her.

She was downright despicable.

How could she say she was in love with someone then go around and say she was also in love with somebody else?

She couldn’t bear to be in Adrien’s presence anymore. She didn’t deserve to bask in his light.

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t really want to talk about it.” She tells him, hugging herself. She stood up from her position on the couch and made her way to the window.

“Ladybug—?”

“I…I should go. I’ll see you later.” She winced at that. If she ever needed a sign to cease these visits, she just got it. If she couldn’t give her whole heart to Adrien, then there was no point in continuing…whatever this was.

“Okay…” Adrien said, a crestfallen look on his face, “See you later…”

Without looking back, Ladybug took out her yoyo and swung the short distance home as fast as she could. Once on her balcony she de-transformed and fell to the floor.

“I’m awful!” she declared to Tikki, putting her hands over here eyes as she willed herself not to cry.

“No you’re not, Marinette.” Tikki soothed, “It’s okay to like two people—“

“But neither of them deserve that! They don’t know who I am! I can’t keep loving either of them with just half of my heart!”

“Oh Marinette…”

Marinette tried to keep herself calm—her distress could lead to an Akuma—but she was struggling. Her emotions were all over the place and she didn’t know what to do!

“Princess…?”

Marinette gasped and turned to find Chat Noir behind her. She turned back the other way in fear that Tikki was still there, but saw that her Kwami had disappeared somewhere. She gave a small sigh in relief as she faced her partner again.

“Wh-What are you doing here, Chat?” she asked, hoping her voice didn’t betray her earlier distress. “It’s not our usual meeting time.”

Chat shuffled from one foot to the other, not meeting her eyes, “I know… It’s just…”

She stared at him. He looked just as distressed as she did. She wondered what had happened to lead him to her.

“I…just wanted to see you tonight,” was what he finally said.

He met her gaze and Marinette felt her heart breaking all over again. The way he was looking at her…it was usually how he looked at her when she had her mask on. A look that made Marinette feel inexplicably loved.

Oh no…

No, he couldn’t be…

Without warning, Marinette broke down. She couldn’t stop the tears no matter how hard she tried.

“Oh, Marinette. Come here…”

She felt his warm arms embrace her, a hand brushing through her hair. Chat Noir shushed her, whispering soothing, loving words into her ears. In that moment Marinette knew for sure. She really did love Chat Noir.

And she didn’t deserve him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked her, just like he did that first night.

She shook her head “no.” How could she begin to explain this to him and keep her secret identity intact?

“That’s okay, I understand. Just let it out. I’m here for you.”

And so she did. She allowed herself to be selfish, to bask in Chat Noir’s embrace and let out the tears. All the while he swayed their bodies in place, humming a pleasant sounding song. She never felt more cherished.

She had to do something. There had to be something she could do to resolve this issue of loving two boys. She had to think of some kind of plan.

For now, though, she’ll love Chat Noir with half of her heart and enjoy this time with him.

She swore this would be her last rendezvous with Adrien…

Too bad she kept wishing it wasn’t.

The plan was simple: go to Adrien, explain that she could no longer see him because it was dangerous and his life could be at stake (all true), and hope that they could remain friends. Then the next night, when Chat Noir visited Marinette, she would tell him the same thing—that he was a superhero and the two of them meeting practically every other night was a bad idea. Once he left, Marinette would wash her hands clean of both boys and hope that one day her heart made up its mind and she’d settle on loving one boy full-heartedly.

Simple. Easy. Guaranteed not to fail.

Except when she entered Adrien’s room and met his eyes—so full of love for her—she felt her resolve crumble.

Ugh, why was love so hard?!

“You came back,” he said, almost in wonder. As if the other night when she bolted from his room convinced him that she found him disgusting and never wanted to see his face again.

That was far from the truth.

“Y-Yeah…” she said, and she almost got lost looking into those gorgeous green eyes when she remembered why she was here. Steeling her nerves, she said, “Actually… I need to talk to you about something. Can we sit down?”

Adrien was a little confused by her sudden serious demeanor, but nodded all the same. “Yes, of course.”

He indicated to the couch—a strange thing to do since they always sit there—and Ladybug placed herself onto the cushions. Once Adrien made himself comfortable next to her did she turn to face him.

“I want you to know that I’ve enjoyed spending this time with you,” she started. So far so good… “However, as I am a superhero and Hawk Moth is still targeting my Miraculous and trying to find out who I really am, I feel it is a danger to the both of us if we continue to meet like this.”

There. That wasn’t so hard. And her heart only broke a little bit.

“I see… “ Adrien said, a contemplative look on his face. It was wiped clean as he eyed her in suspicion, “So what’s this really about?”

Ladybug’s eyes widened. She looked at the (first) boy she was in love with in shock. “I’m sorry?”

Adrien chuckled, but it didn’t sound happy at all. “I can tell when you’re lying, Ladybug. You play with your pigtails and never meet my eyes. There’s more to you ending things between us than Hawk Moth possibly finding out we’re acquainted with each other.”

How… How did he know her so well?

Oh man, they really were made for each other!

No! Focus, Marinette! Think of Chat Noir!

Oh, wait, no, that only made things worse.

Ladybug sighed, defeated. Throwing her professionalism out the window, she slumped against the couch and covered her face with one of the decorative pillows on Adrien’s couch. She groaned dramatically into the pillow. When she was finished, she removed it to face an amused Adrien.

“I’m in love with you,” she deadpanned.

If she had a camera, she’d have loved to capture the myriad of looks on Adrien’s face. He looked ecstatic, hopeful and ready to jump onto the couch and scream in pure joy, only for his expression to change into something Ladybug couldn’t quite discern. He almost looked sick, his face going pale.

“Y-You love…what?”

“I love you,” she confessed again. “I have for a long time now.”

Not bothering to let him speak, Ladybug punched the pillow in her lap as she allowed herself to ramble.

“And there shouldn’t be any problem with that, except there is—and I’m not just talking about the whole secret identity issues either.”

“Wh-What do you mean?” Adrien stammered.

“I mean…” she began but bit her lip in hesitation. How do you go about confessing that you’re scum of the earth and can’t give your entire heart to someone because the other half belonged to someone else?

“Have you ever had feelings for one person, but then you find out later you that you have feelings for another person? And not in a ‘oh, turns out I’ve loved you all along’ way, but a ‘oh crap, I might be in love with two people’ kind of way?”

It was a very specific scenario but Ladybug didn’t know how else to break the news to him. Hopefully, Adrien was making sense of her words.

“Well…actually, yes, I have.”

His words shocked her so much, Marinette was afraid her neck was going to break with how fast she turned back to face him. “Come again?”

Adrien’s cheeks flared read as he rubbed the pack of his head in nervousness. “What you said, about being in love with two people. I know that feeling. I’m…actually kind of in the same boat?”

Oh…

OH!

Things just got a little more interesting. Though Ladybug will admit she felt something in her break at the thought of Adrien loving someone else who wasn’t her.

“You are?”

The blond nodded, avoiding her eyes as his cheeks reddened more.

“Yeah… I do love you, more than you may know.” Her heart fluttered at his confession but she tried to keep her emotions at bay. “But…there’s this other girl. I used to just consider her a close friend, but lately, the more time I spend with her the more I’m coming to realize that maybe that isn’t the case at all.”

Ladybug frowned. She remembered that awful day at the wax museum and how on the ride home Adrien admitted there was a girl he loved. Was the person he was referring to this mystery girl? Was it Kagami?

Ladybug wanted to ask, but she knew she’d be setting herself up for trouble if she did. Who was she to be jealous and possessive if the boy in front of her didn’t even have all of her heart?

“Oh… Do you plan on confessing to this girl?” she ventured to ask.

Adrien contemplated her question. “I’ve thought about it…but I don’t know. I don’t exactly know how she feels about me. And it feels like I’m betraying her since I also love you.”

Ladybug sighed. She knew what she had to do.

“Adrien, even though I lied about why I’m here, I do think you and me being an item isn’t a good idea,” she said. As much as it hurt her to admit it, she could be rational about this decision. “Hawk Moth isn’t above hurting the people I love. If he knew how much you mean to me, it could lead to disaster. I could never live with myself if anything happened to you…”

She squeezed his hand, hoping he understood where she was coming from. Thankfully, the boy squeezed her hand back and gave her a small smile.

“I understand, Ladybug. I would never want to put you in a compromising position like this,” he said. “Besides, I think Hawk Moth might have been the least of your worries if my fanclub found out we were dating.”

He gave a good-natured laugh and Ladybug laughed with him, the serious tension of the room melting away a bit. Once the laughter died down, Ladybug regarded the model again.

“You should be happy, Adrien. I would suggest going for this other girl. The way you looked when you mentioned her, it sounded like you were quite smitten with her.”

She ignored the stab in her chest upon seeing the bashful expression on Adrien’s face. Whoever this girl was—Kagami or not—Marinette hoped she knew what a treasure Adrien Agreste was.

“Yeah…maybe,” was his soft answer.

Not wanting to linger anymore, Ladybug gave Adrien’s hand another firm squeeze before kissing him on the cheek.

“Thank you for being so understanding. I really don’t deserve you.”

Adrien lifted her hand up to his lips, giving it an affectionate peck.

“No, Ladybug, it’s me who doesn’t deserve you.”

His words gave her a lump in her throat and she felt the prick of tears in her eyes but she held them back. Now was not the time.

Giving him one last smile she made her way to his window. Waving goodbye, she swung her way back home, vowing that the next time she saw Adrien again it would be at school as Marinette.

That was one issue solved.

Now for the other one…

Right on time, Chat Noir vaulted his way onto Marinette’s balcony.

It was the evening after her “break up” (because what else was Marinette supposed to call it?) with Adrien and so far, despite everything, Marinette was feeling rather good. Adrien had understood why Ladybug had to cut ties to him so she had hope that her partner would be just as understanding.

“Princess,” he greeted.

She waved, “Hey Chat. Listen about the other night—“

“Don’t sweat it, Marinette. I get it.”

“You do?” she asked. Was he aware of why she was upset? Could he really read her that well?

“Yeah,” he said, like him not being understanding of her emotional breakdown was unheard of. “You’ve been under a lot of stress lately and it finally wore you down. How could I not get that?”

She blinked. It wasn’t totally false—the dilemma of loving both Adrien and Chat added more unnecessary stress than she was willing to deal with. She decided not to elaborate anymore for him; it would raise more questions if she were to try and correct him.

“Yeah… Yeah you’re right.” She said, “Thank you, by the way, for the hug. I needed that.”

“It was my purr-leasure!” he bowed. Marinette couldn’t stop her giggles. His puns were so silly, but it was one of the things she really did love about him.

It was a shame she had to end their meetings.

“Listen…there’s something I need to talk to you about,” she began, ready to bite the bullet.

But Chat Noir interrupted her before she could get any farther, “There’s something I need to talk to you about as well. If it’s okay with you, can I go first?”

Marinette was confused. What could he possibly need to talk to her about?

Not wanting to be rude, Marinette conceded, “Oh, sure, go ahead.”

Chat straightened himself up and breathed in deep before letting it out. Marinette raised an eyebrow. Whatever he was planning on telling her, he apparently need to psych himself up for it.

Alarm bells started going off in her head, though, as he suddenly sauntered in front of her, his hands gently taking hers. A blush coated her cheeks as he brought them up to his lips for a soft kiss.

Oh no!

“Marinette…” Chat said, his voice a gentle whisper, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. More than I think a person should probably think about their friend, and I’ve come to realize what those feelings are.”

No, no, no, no, no, this can’t be happening! Don’t let this be happening!

“I love you, my Princess.”

Marinette squeaked. Everything in her entire being was screaming at her to remove her hands from his, run to her bedroom, and lock the trapdoor. End things right this instant!

But her heart—that traitorous little devil—kept her rooted in her spot.

“Chat, I…” her words die in her throat. She couldn’t breathe.

The look in Chat’s eyes melted her. It was a look of pure love, like Marinette was the sole reason he got up in the morning. She wished he would stop looking at her like that, God knew she didn’t deserve it.

Chat Noir took a step toward her, Marinette pulling closer as well. He raised one of his hands to caress her face, his thumb rubbing affectionate circles on the apple of her cheek. Marinette leaned into his touch.

It was then that Chat started to lean downward, his eyes half lidded. Marinette swallowed, feeling the magnetic pull toward her partner and she felt her eyes slip closed. She felt his breath fan her lips—

And immediately Adrien’s face came into her mind. His somewhat disappointed but accepting face as she told him she could never be with him.

Marinette’s eyes popped open and she disentangled herself from Chat Noir, stepping as far away from him as her balcony would allow.

“M-Marinette?” Chat questioned, confusion and hurt written on his face, “What’s the matter? Did I—?”

“I can’t do this.”

Chat furrowed his brows, “Can’t do this? Why? Why not?”

Marinette hugged herself, her teeth biting into her lip so hard she’s afraid she’ll draw blood.

“I love someone else.”

She had rejected Chat Noir before, she should be used to the look of heartbreak.

Instead, looking at it broke her own heart as well.

“O-Oh,” he said. “But—“

“A-And you love Ladybug.” She continued, “It’s not fair of either of us to be with someone when we’re committed to others.”

She should know that better than anyone else…

Chat’s frown deepened and his eyes take on a hard look. “Ladybug rejected me…”

Marinette flinched and weakly said, “But you still love her, though.”

Chat sighed and ran a gloved hand through his hair. Looking back at Marinette he calmly walked to her. Marinette’s heart beat nervously in her chest but she allowed him to place his hands on her shoulders.

“I do,” he admitted. “But, listen, Marinette, I love you too. And my feelings for Ladybug…” he averted his gaze from her as he tried to find the words, “I can’t just turn off those feelings.”

Marinette nodded in acceptance. It was the same with her and her feelings for Adrien and Chat Noir. Even though she loved one, she couldn’t turn off her feelings for the other and vice versa, no matter how hard she tried.

“I can’t turn off my feelings either.”

Chat pressed on, “I don’t want my love for Ladybug to hold me back, though. She’s always talking about how she can’t love me, and that maybe I should find someone else. I’ve come to realize that she’s right. Marinette, I want that someone else to be you!”

Marinette felt the wind knock out of her at his confession. He loved her, really loved her. Not just as Ladybug, but Marinette too. He loved all sides of her and it was the most euphoric feeling.

But it wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that she still loved Adrien.

She kept repeating it in her mind: she couldn’t love someone halfway. It would only hurt Chat in the long haul.

Marinette sniffed, her tears welling up. She hated that she had to keep doing this to the boys she loved.

“I’m so sorry, Chat Noir. I just can’t.”

He looked like he was going to protest more—of course this stupid cat would try to fight for her. Marinette silently screamed in frustration.

“You’re one of Paris’s heroes, Chat. Do you really think it’s smart to date some civilian?”

“You’re not just some—“

“Do you think it’s smart?” she repeated, tone stern.

His mouth snapped shut and he hung his head in defeat.

“No. No, it’s probably not,” he raked his hands through his hair, somehow making his blond tresses even messier. He muttered, “Ladybug would be disappointed with me if she found out…”

He trailed off and Marinette allowed her tears to run down her cheeks. She wished she could tell him she wasn’t disappointed. That thoughts of throwing caution to the wind overtook her mind countless times. But in the end she knew she was right; a hero and civilian relationship just wasn’t a good idea. It was never a good idea for Ladybug and Adrien, and it wasn’t for Marinette and Chat Noir.

His forlorn form absolutely broke her. She hated herself for doing this to him. He deserved to be with someone so much better than her.

Chat Noir heaved a heavy sigh, head bowed and hair hiding his face from her. When he lifted his head, his eyes were closed and he had a watery smile on his face.

“Alright then. That’s that. Can’t say I didn’t give it my best shot.” His depreciating chuckle made Marinette’s tears stream harder.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she cried.

Chat shook his head, gently rubbing her tears away. “It’s okay, Princess.”

“No, it’s not!” she sobbed, “Nothing’s okay! I hurt you!”

“Yeah, it hurts now,” he said. He gave Marinette’s forehead a light kiss, “But I will heal. You know me, I always land on my feet.”

They were silent for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes. Marinette could tell they were reaching a mutual agreement: they shouldn’t see each other anymore. Whatever was left of Marinette’s heart had shattered to pieces.

She sniffed, trying her best to send him off with a smile, “Goodbye, Chat Noir.”

Chat stepped away from her, removing his baton from his back as he prepared to vault away, “Goodbye, Marinette.”

As she watched him leave, Marinette felt the comforting presence of Tikki as her Kwami cuddle up to her cheek.

“Tell me, Tikki,” Marinette requested, “I did the right thing, right?”

Tikki didn’t answer, just shushed and cooed at her owner as Marinette’s sobs filled the night.

The following few days were rough.

As much as Marinette wanted to try and develop some sort of relationship with Adrien outside of the suit, she couldn’t bear to look at him. It was too hard considering she turned him away as Ladybug.

It seemed Adrien got the memo of her wanting some space between them because she found that he often avoided her as well. It stung a bit, but she was secretly thankful.

Alya constantly questioned her, but Marinette skillfully dodged her friend’s merciless inquisition. She didn’t have a good excuse for why she was avoiding her crush, and quite frankly she couldn’t be bothered to think of one on the spot without breaking down into tears again.

At least school was somewhat bearable because she didn’t have to interact with Adrien all the time. His busy schedule kept him tied up to the point Marinette hardly saw him anyway. It was patrol with her other love that Marinette dreaded.

Ever since Marinette rejected Chat Noir, her poor kitty seemed more despondent whenever they met for their usual patrol nights. The air around them was tenser as well.

Ladybug knew why she felt awkward around her partner, but why was Chat avoiding her? Was it because Marinette implied to him that his love for Ladybug was in the way of them being together? Did he secretly resent her for never returning his affections?

Marinette felt like she was going to spiral. Ladybug and Chat Noir could not lose their partnership over this. They were a team, they were supposed to balance each other out! If they were neglecting the other it could spell disaster if an Akuma attacked!

And because the universe loved giving Marinette the middle finger, an Akuma did attack.

It was during her class’s free period at school. Alya had managed to wring out of Marinette that her current dilemma in her love life stemmed from a conversation with Adrien that she quite literally didn’t want to talk about thank you very much, and opted to try and get her best friend to properly communicate with the boy.

Had Marinette not spent the last month and a half getting to know Adrien as Ladybug and developing a close friendship with him that she immediately had to torch in favor of sparing his feelings, then yeah, she’d be all for talking to him and working out whatever feelings they might have had for each other.

But all that stuff did happen, and Marinette would rather lock herself up in the broom closet until they went off to university than face (one of) her loves again.

(Un)Fortunately, a screech rang through the air and that’s when an aerial Akuma that was calling himself Eagle One suddenly swept through the courtyard and turned some of the children into his little bird minions (seriously, what’s with this city and their birds?!). As Alya got her phone out to capture the action, Marinette ran to the broom closet she had been eyeing all day. Once she knew it was securely locked, she called for her transformation.

Rushing out of the closet Ladybug surveyed the perimeter, trying to gauge whether the Akuma was still in the vicinity or not. Seeing as he wasn’t, she took out her yoyo and swung up to the roof to get a better view.

A few meters away, she found Eagle One who was engaged in combat with Chat Noir. It appeared that Chat was having a terrible time as the bird minions kept trying to distract him and keep him from his target. Desperate to help her partner, Ladybug threw her yoyo and grabbed onto one of the minions, effectively pulling and swinging the poor victim into their master. The action not only stunned the Akuma but distracted the other minions as well, leading Chat to take his staff and bat his attackers away from him.

“Thanks for that, Ladybug.”

Ladybug frowned. She hated that she was no longer “M’Lady” to him.

“No problem. Let’s clip that bird’s wings!” she said, hoping the pun would bring a smile to his face.

It did. A tiny one though, but Ladybugs considered it a small victory.

The battle was one of their more difficult ones. Eagle One took advantage of his ability to fly, which made grounding troublesome. No matter how many times she lassoed the bird-themed Akuma up with her yoyo, Ladybug eventually found herself being flung into the air with him.

“This is pointless!” Chat grumbled, “What about your Lucky Charm?”

Ladybug shook her head, “I feel like it’s too early for that…”

“You never know if you’ll try. It might be a weight or something so we can tether this birdbrain down!”

Ladybug was about to retort that Tikki never made her Lucky Charms that easy when she felt the wind get knocked out of her. After recovering from the shock, she realized Eagle One had bulldozed into her while she was distracted, latching onto her body with a strong arm. They were both in the air, one of his talons desperately trying to claw at her ears.

“Give me your Miraculous!”

Ladybug freed one of her arms and grabbed hold of the offending talon, keeping it from her earlobes and used her legs to kick at him.

“You…didn’t…say…PLEASE!” she huffed, finally getting a good kick into the Akuma’s gut. He cried out in pain, effectively releasing her.

Unfortunately, Ladybug didn’t realize how high up they were. She was about to grab for her yoyo to save herself when she felt Eagle One’s greedy talons try to grab at her again. Barely thinking, Ladybug used the yoyo to tie him up, wings and all. With nothing to help either of them land safely, the both of them tumbled to the earth below.

“LADYBUG!” she heard her partner cry out. She turned her head to where she thought he was and saw that he was too far away from her. There was no way he’d be able to catch her in time…

Ladybug landed hard on the asphalt of an alleyway, the momentum causing her skid along the pavement.

Magical armor or not, she will definitely be feeling that tomorrow.

Marinette groaned as she pulled herself up into a sitting position, rubbing the side of her head that took the brunt of the impact. She was sore and a little weak, but thankfully the damage was just a few scratches and bruises. If she summoned her Miraculous Ladybug at the end of the fight she bet she’d be patched up like her fall never happened.

As she continued to rub her head, her eyes widened in alarm upon realizing that instead of feeling the smooth texture of her suit, she was feeling her face with bare skin. Looking down, she saw she was in her civilian clothes. How was that possible? She never used Lucky Charm!

Feeling her earlobes, Marinette gasped when she only felt one earring—the ear that made contact with the ground was bare. When she had skid along the pavement her earring must’ve come out! She had to find it!

Getting on her hands and knees, Marinette started looking around the alley for the missing Miraculous.

“Tikki? Tikki, are you there?” she called but her Kwami never answered. With the other Ladybug earring technically still active that probably meant Tikki was still dormant inside of it. Darn, Marinette could have really used the little bug’s help in finding her lost Miraculous!

“Ladybug? Are you okay?” came the voice of Chat Noir.

Crap! Marinette panicked. Chat could not see her like this! But she couldn’t just hide, she still needed to find her earring so she can transform back into Ladybug, defeat the Akuma, save the city, and then go home so she can sleep to avoid the rest of this awful day!

“Ladybug! Lady—huh? Marinette?” Chat questioned upon leaping into the alleyway and not finding his Lady. “What are you doing here? Have you seen Ladybug?”

Bluff, Marinette! Bluff like you’ve never bluffed before!

“O-Oh, no. Sorry, Chat, I was just hiding from the Akuma. I saw Ladybug, but she—uhhhh—landed somewhere else…?”

She cringed at her lie, avoiding his gaze as she desperately played with her pigtail (somewhat disheveled from her hard landing). The action caught Chat’s attention and his eyes widened.

“Marinette! What happened to you?” he said, rushing to her side as he examined her face. “Your face is scraped up. And those bruises! Holy crap, you’re bleeding!”

Marinette involuntarily winced at the contact of his hands against her wounds. “Don’t worry, it’ll heal up.” She said, silently praying that she was right and her Miraculous Ladybug would cure her battered form. “But you don’t need to worry about me. You need to get back to the fight. The Akuma—“

She’s cut off as Chat Noir showed her what looked to be a belt.

“Ladybug managed to tie up the victim with her yoyo as they fell. The Akuma landed on someone’s roof and got knocked out cold, so I snagged the object before they could wake up and escape. I wanted to find Ladybug so she could purify the Akuma but instead I found you.”

Marinette gulped, hoping she could keep up her bluff so he could look for “Ladybug” elsewhere and she could go back to finding her missing earring.

“W-Well, as you can see she’s not here. Just me, Marinette! I think she actually landed off in that direction!” she said pointing to somewhere behind her.

Chat narrowed his eyes, “I could have sworn she landed here, though. I didn’t take my eyes off of her, not even when I got the Akumatized object…”

Marinette grit her teeth. How dare he be so perceptive!

“Well, you’re probably mistaken, so you should go in that direction,” she pointed desperately to the area behind her, “and find her and definitely leave me alone!”

Chat Noir blinked at her behavior. Marinette ignored how hurt he looked upon her request to leave her alone. However, she couldn’t afford to be guilty right now because her Miraculous is still missing!

But of course he doesn’t leave! Instead he continued to stand in front of her and regard her with calculating eyes. Marinette shifted awkwardly as he eyed her from head to toe, taking in her rumpled clothes, her mussed up pigtails, her banged up face, her pleading expression, and finally…her ears.

“Marinette…this isn’t your arrondissement,” he finally said. “If you were hiding from the Akuma, you’d be home instead of here…”

Oh no.

“And the ground…it looks like someone crashed into it then slid further into the alley. Which might explain the scrapes on your face.”

Oh no…

“And your ear…” he said, gently touching the Miraculous-less lobe, “I know you wear earrings. One of them is missing. And you looked like you were searching for something when I found you.”

Oh no!

Why did that stupid cat have to be so freaking observant now of all times?!

“I know Ladybug fell here, Marinette. And I know you were lying. You and Ladybug were always similar with how you lie—playing with your pigtails and avoiding my eyes. I always thought it was a coincidence but now…”

Marinette started to breathe hard. This was it. It was all over.

“Marinette, I’m sick of all the lies. Please tell me,” he went over to the left of where they were standing to pick something up. When he returned to Marinette’s side, he held something out to her. In his hand was her missing Miraculous, “…are you my Lady?”

Marinette shakily took the earring from his hand. Nothing but a ball of nerves, she places the piece of magical jewelry into her earlobe (thanking her lucky stars it didn’t get torn when the earring was roughly pulled from it). Sighing, Marinette looked her partner dead in the eye as she said, “Spots on.”

In a flash of light Ladybug took over from where Marinette stood. Not wanting to look Chat in the face, Ladybug took the Akumatized belt and ripped it apart. A black butterfly fluttered out of it. Taking her yoyo (it had reappeared at her side when she transformed back into her suit), she de-evilized the Akuma and released the pure white butterfly into the air.

“Bye bye little butterfly.”

With no Lucky Charm to throw in the air, Ladybug shrugged and settled for just flinging the yoyo up like she would the Charm. “Miraculous Ladybug!”

A few magical ladybugs later and the city was back to normal, and thankfully, Ladybug’s aches and wounds from her crash landing healed up.

Once the magic dissipated, Ladybug decided to face the music and put her attention back on her partner. She gave him a guilty smile.

“Ummm pound it?” she asked, weakly lifting up her fist and giving him a small nervous smile.

She wasn’t sure what she expected him to do next. Would he be angry with her? Would he yell at her? Demand they never see or speak to each other again? All the worse case scenarios rushed into her mind and she barely registered the reality of his actual reaction…which was him giving her a fierce hug.

“It’s you!” he whispered in her ear, so much raw emotion coating his voice that Ladybug was expecting him to burst into tears, “All this time, my Ladybug and my Marinette have been the same person! You have no idea how happy I am right now!”

Ladybug gave a guilty smile, “I’m sorry for lying to you all this time.”

Chat chuckled, shaking his head at her, “I forgive you. You had to protect your identity. Lord knows I haven’t been honest with you, either.”

Ladybug gave a mild chuckle of her own. She wrapped her arms around his waist to return the hug. Chat Noir squeezed her tighter in response. His joyful laughter rang out into the alleyway and for once, she felt at ease.

But it couldn’t last long as another blond’s face entered Ladybug’s mind and she let out a sad sigh. She wished she could stay in her Kitty’s arms forever but sadly it could never be. Chat may have been happy that the two girls he was in love with were one in the same, but she couldn’t say the same. He still only owned half of her heart. Ladybug disentangled herself from her partner and tried her best to put space between them.

“Oh, Chat, I’m glad that you aren’t disappointed in finding out who I am—“

“Disappointed? With you? Never!” he claimed, his wide grin never faltering.

“—but I’m still in love with someone else.” She finished, and she hated that she had to be put in this situation again. When will the universe give her and her precious black cat a break?!

Chat Noir looked like he was going to say something, but Ladybug cut him off. She was tired of arguing. She had to make her dilemma clear to him.

“You see, there’s this boy—the boy I said I’m in love with. I’ve loved him for, like, ever! Fantasized about marrying him and getting a house with three kids and a hamster—the whole SHEBANG! And over the last couple of months it seemed like I was actually getting somewhere with him. I’m sorry for never telling you this, but I’ve been going to his house to see him—as Ladybug, not Marinette. Why? I don’t know, because talking to him is SO HARD! I can’t form complete sentences around him without this stupid mask on! It’s so embarrassing!

“Anyway, so there I was, flirting with him and everything being absolutely perfect when you know what happens? I start picturing YOU! You, with your pretty cat eyes, and your adorable bell, and your messy hair, and your stupid DUMB FACE and BAM!” Ladybug claps her hands together, causing Chat’s faux ears to flip down in protest at the loud noise, “It hit me! I’m in love with you! I’ve been in love with you for probably as long as I’ve been in love with my crush. And it killed me because I didn’t just move on, I loved you both equally!”

Ladybug groaned as she ran her hands over her face, “So for the last month or so I’ve been feeling terrible because I just couldn’t choose which boy I loved more. It was like my heart was ripped in two! You had one half and my crush had the other, and it hit me how unfair that was. How can I be with one boy if I’m not completely committed to them? I couldn’t handle the pressure, Chat! I needed to distance myself from both of you and save all of us from heartbreak! Only I couldn’t even do that because I ended up breaking both of your hearts anyway!

“So there!” she said, finally at the conclusion of her rant, “No more secrets! I’m in love with you but can never be with you because I’m an awful human being who loves two different boys.”

She was panting now, feeling a bit of weight lift from her shoulders. Now she had to wait for Chat’s response to everything she just dumped on him.

Chat was standing there and staring at her, probably processing all the information Ladybug laid out for him. He tilted his head to one side, eyes narrowed as he examined her, humming in thought. It was almost like Marinette was a puzzle and he was desperate to solve it. After a while did he finally react and it wasn’t in a way Marinette was really expecting.

“What’s his name?” he asked her, a smug smirk on his face.

Ladybug gawked. After pouring her heart out and revealing she could never completely love him, he decided the next course of action was to ask for his competition’s name?!

“I can’t tell you that! That’s confidential! And a risk to his safety!” she said.

Chat rolled his eyes, “What? You think I’m gonna Cataclysm him or something?” he then laughed, as if the thought of Cataclysming Adrien Agreste was absolutely hilarious.

Ladybug scowled, “N-No! But still…he doesn’t need that kind of exposure, no matter who is asking!”

Chat sobered. Slowly, he walked in front of Ladybug and placed his hands on either side of her face. She felt herself flush as she stared into his eyes. Chat’s smile was gentle.

“M'Lady…look at me.”

She narrowed her eyes, “I am looking at you…?”

He chuckled, “I know, but what I meant was that I want you to really look at me.”

She wasn’t sure what he was getting at but she complied. Her pupils roamed his figure—slim build, broad shoulders, and a form-fitting cat suit complete with bell. She took in his messy blond locks, how sometimes she just wanted to run her fingers through his hair and see what he would look like if it weren’t so unkempt. She studied his eyes. They looked like a cat’s but she remembered how they looked when he was Mister Bug—how they were a natural green; like peridots or fresh summer grass. She could stare into those eyes all day if she could. She looked at his nose and how it twitched every now and then like an actual kitten. Honestly, sometimes he was just too adorable.

Finally, she took in his mouth—feeling butterflies in her stomach at the reminder that she had kissed those lips before. She couldn’t enjoy the moment during Dark Cupid, but she distinctly remembered them feeling soft. Those same lips were upturned into a smile. She loved his smile, no matter what kind of form it took—smirk, grin, closed, toothy, wide, small, it didn’t matter.

Right now his smile was large and genuine, teeth showing. She decided to examine his teeth. He didn’t have any distinct canines, but she could detect some sharpness there (probably influenced by his Miraculous to give the impression of fangs), but what always caught her eye without fail were his front teeth. She noticed he had a bit of an overbite—she remembered teasing him from time to time that he resembled a bunny more than a cat. It was cute though. It also reminded her of someone else… Someone who she would also often compare his overbite to a bunny…

“Claws in.”

Ladybug squeaked at his sudden command. She felt anxious—should she close her eyes? After all, they weren’t supposed to know who the other was. But Chat Noir figured her out, so it would only be fair if she knew who he was, right? She was guardian now, what was she gonna do, take both of their Miraculous away? She didn’t like that thought at all, but what was she supposed to do?!

She was too busy freaking out to even close her eyes so when the bright green light vanished she was left staring at the boy underneath the mask.

And probably would have fainted had Adrien Agreste not been holding her up.

“Uh, surprise?” he said in a sheepish tone, removing one of his hands from her to scratch the back of his head.

That nervous tick they both do!

 It was so obvious now! How did Marinette not realize it sooner!

She didn’t really know what to do now. There were so many thoughts and feelings rushing through her. All this time she had been mulling over being in love with two boys and as it turned out they were the same person? She could not be that lucky!

But she was.

She was so lucky.

Her Adrien and her Chat Noir were the same person.

Finally, her heart felt whole again.

Relief washed over her. Before she could help it, tears filled her eyes and Ladybug broke into sobs. This time though, they were of pure unadulterated relief and joy.

“You stupid cat! All this time and I…I…” she couldn’t even get the words out, just letting weeks worth of unnecessary stress pour out of her.

“I know. I know.” Adrien soothed, bringing his Lady into his arms.

“I’ve been so dumb!”

“It’s okay. We were both dumb.”

“I love you so much!”

“I love you too.” He said, “I’ve loved both of you for a while now. At the beginning, when I started seeing Marinette, I just wanted to be with her as a close friend. Then Ladybug started showing up to my house and I was so happy because I felt like I could finally be with her the way I always wanted.

“But then—like you—I just couldn’t enjoy my time with Ladybug anymore because I kept wondering what Marinette was doing. I wondered if Marinette was on her balcony right at that moment waiting for Chat Noir to come see her. I was so upset with myself; I didn’t know what was wrong with me. And then it hit me, bam!” he laughed as he mimicked Ladybug by clapping his hands. She gave a tearful giggle in response.

“I realized I loved Marinette too.” He continued, “I felt so conflicted…that is until you came by as Ladybug and told me we couldn’t be together. I didn’t know you were referring to Chat, though, when you said you loved someone else. I thought it was that boy you always rejected me for. Anyway, then you told me to go for it with the other girl I was in love with so I figured, why not? If I can’t be with Ladybug, then I should be with Marinette. I had hope that you were in love with Chat Noir, so I decided that you would rather be with me as Chat than me as Adrien.”

“But then I rejected you…”

“Yeah. That sucked,” he deadpanned. “You said you loved someone else, and it never even crossed my mind it was the civilian me. I thought it was Luka or somebody else. I guess my self-esteem really hit rock bottom after that.”

He gave a self-depreciated chuckle and Ladybug shushed him, giving him a fierce hug.

“Don’t think that way. It was you. Since the beginning it has always been you. I love you so much—with all of my heart.”

Adrien smiled, pulling back from the hug to look at the spotted heroine. “Can you drop your transformation? I want to see you—the Marinette you.”

Nodding, Ladybug de-transformed. In her place was plain old Marinette, but in that moment—with Adrien looking at her like she was the greatest treasure on this earth—she felt higher esteemed than “plain.”

“There she is. My love. My Lady. My Princess. My Marinette.”

They embraced each other, lips meeting in a sweet kiss. It was perfect, everything Marinette wanted and more.

Her heart no longer felt torn. It was complete and full of love for the only boy who had ever owned it—will always own it.

Life was blissful after the reveal of their identities.

Marinette and Adrien found themselves back into their usual routines. School throughout the week; Marinette working on commissions; Adrien doing his many extracurricular activities; and whenever their busy lives weren’t in the way, they were with each other. As both civilians and superheroes. Or a mix of the two.

Joint patrols were still twice a week, with their individual patrols being in between. At the end of Ladybug’s patrol, she’d swing over to the Agreste mansion. Likewise, the end of Chat’s patrol would lead him to Marinette’s house.

The only difference was the masks falling once they made their way to their respective love’s home.

It was a comfortable routine Marinette found herself in, and she wouldn’t want to change it for anything.

Because she was with the boy she loved wholeheartedly, and she wouldn’t trade her time with him for anything.