Chapter Text
"W-wait up! Uhm, Sakuya!"
She tilted her head kindly, long silver braids flopping over her shoulder. Her fluffy fringe bounced with a playful lightness that never seemed to match her dramatic, performed body language. "I'm sorry, Meiling, I really am busy. We have a big party today, you know?" she said.
That same 'I'm sorry, but I really am busy' look she always puts on. Maybe with a hint more exasperation this time? Oh god, had Meiling been too pushy?
Despite being at least a head shorter than the impressively tall Hong Meiling, the splendid way Sakuya Izayoi wore herself always made her seem like the taller of the two.
Especially when Meiling was feeling so... insecure.
Mm... but maybe she was just imagining it, so she tried to put on a strong smile. "Y-yeah... I just hope we can spend some time together soon."
A simple nod and a sweet smile from Sakuya, like always. "I hope so, too." She said. Then she turned, and headed away to the kitchen.
Meiling, quickly defeated, slumped by the stairway banister with a languid sigh and a heaviness in her heart.
"It is the festive season, after all," Sakuya hummed with a flirty, fond tone, just before leaving earshot. Fond words gave Meiling's heart the little lift it needed to nod back, to playfully salute and send the maid on her way.
... But then, another sigh once she was out of sight.
Sakuya was a very busy woman, and it was Christmas.
Meiling wasn't always privy to the elaborate plans of meals and decorations the maids had planned for the festive period. Hell, not even the Mistress always knew what Sakuya had planned! So her busyness did make an awful lot of sense.
It made sense, yes, but it meant less time spent together! And Meiling never really had mastered the art of asking to spend time with her girlfriend without feeling like a nuisance!
Meiling slumped her back against the wall, her long red hair messily falling over her green top, her green hat flopping ungracefully over her forehead.
"Uggh... I really screwed up..." she groaned.
"And what, pray-tell, have you ‘screwed up’?" came a shrill yet motherly voice - a voice that was all-too-familiar to anyone who had ever visited the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
“A-ack! Mistress-!!” Meiling jolted to her feet in an instant, her hat springing back atop her head, “I-I was just getting back to my post, don't worry!" her hair now seemed even more of a mess, but at least it was doing a good job of distracting from the embarrassed pink of her face.
"If you are not at your post, then it can only be because I have deemed it appropriate!" Remilia Scarlet, the Lord of the Mansion, playfully forgave Meiling for slacking. This was a pretty common occurrence the last few decades; she had chilled out an awful lot since the move to Gensokyo.
"Th-thank you, Mistress." Meiling stood straight and saluted, still blushing, now mostly just in insecurity.
"Think nothing of it, for I am feeling veritably festive this holiday season! Now in the spirit of giving; what ails you, Meiling?"
E-eh!? Remilia was genuinely asking Meiling what was wrong? It was normal for her to be in high-spirits in this darker time of year, but still...
With a sigh, Meiling begun. "As you asked, Mistress..." she shyly turned in the direction of the kitchens with a pout, "I-I just kinda miss Sakuya, you know? I was hoping everyone in the mansion could relax for Christmas, but she's still so busy..."
"Ahhhh..." Remilia nodded sagely, crossing her arms and cupping her chin in her hand, "young love..."
'None of us are particularly young.' Meiling squinted, but thought best to keep that thought to herself.
Remilia dramatically flung her hand to her chest. "Fear not, mine timid gatekeeper! She may seem cool and distant right now, but once the festivities are in full swing she is certain to relax! Why, true relaxation is the only jolly atmosphere befitting of a Scarlet Devil Mansion Christmas Party!"
The Mistress’ excitement was entertaining but Meiling couldn't help but find it strange. The mansion usually celebrated Christmas on some small level yes, but this was the first time Remilia had been this pumped about it. "By the way, Mistress... why the extra-big focus on Christmas this year?"
A sinister glint of scheming bristled Remilia's eyes as she held her hand over her mouth, cackling quietly. "That modern girl's Christmas festivities last year may have made an impression on the humans of Gensokyo... but why then, should we not throw an even more extravagant Christmas party and show those insouciant shrine maidens how it is done, hm!?"
'... So, she got jealous of Sanae's Christmas party last year!?'
"With Sakuya's planning and my natural charisma for attracting exciting attention, no other Christmas party in Gensokyo stands a chance in Hell! Kyahahahahahahaah!!"
Admittedly, Remilia's uh... festive 'cheer', had more than helped to put a smile back on Meiling's face. She stood firm and gave Remilia a roused salute, "Right you are, Mistress! Maybe we'll even get some exciting guests of our own!"
"As I am certain we will!" Remilia stomped victoriously to the head of the grand staircase. She looked proudly over the mansion’s parade of fairy maids, setting up decorations all about the brilliantly enchanting entrance hall.
"Why, for all we know, company could be about to knock on my magnificent front doors this very instant!" The boisterous vampire dramatically flung her finger to point at the grand entrance-way, and the moment her finger met its target...
*KNOCK, KNOCK*
"Whoa." Remilia recoiled her hand to her chest and blinked, "I didn't expect that to work so well." she muttered.
Meiling giggled at Remilia’s reaction, but figured that as gatekeeper she should probably at least make sure it wasn't trouble. Flying down the stairs, she was of course beaten to the front door by Sakuya - as impressively-everywhere as always.
"Oh, Sakuya...!" Meiling's eyes widened with a blush.
Sakuya tilted her head back just before opening the door. "There's my favourite backup. Get ready for a fight."
The shocked blush on Meiling's cheeks deepened. "H-huh!?" 'Huh!? A fight!?'
There was no time to contemplate how severely Sakuya was joking though; she immediately threw the doors open.
"Hellooooooo~!"
Blood-red hair down to bare shoulders. A dark and brazen t-shirt with "Satan's Little Helper <3" scrawled on it in hot pink. A glowing, pulsing, red and purple sphere in her weird hat.
Meiling gulped as a nameless fear bubbled up heavily in her heart, threatening to tug it straight down into her stomach. This overwhelming presence... this power... There was probably no one else it could be.
A Goddess of Hell... Hecatia Lapislazuli.
"Evenin', guys! Greetings of seasoning, or somethin'."
A Goddess of Hell who was stood with... uh... Marisa Kirisame?
"What the HELL are you doing here?" came Remilia's bark as she flew down to stand beside Sakuya at the front door.
Marisa flung her hip to one side and put a weighty fist on it. "Great, now you've gone 'n' done it, Remi."
A huge, devilish grin flashed upon Hecatia's face, her cheeks growing a lively and jubilant pink. "Haha! Ahahahahahaha! 'What the hell'! That's good, that's super good. I'm already glad we came here."
"Quite the couple you two make." Sakuya fearlessly crossed her arms with a smirk, looking directly at Marisa.
Marisa grinned back, "You bet yer blood-suckin' ass! We've come t' make a Christmas party offer you guys won't be able to refuse." she stuck her nose up as she walked, inviting herself into the mansion followed by an ominously floating Hecatia.
Meiling could only hop and squirm anxiously on the spot as the two waltzed past her with nary but friendly waves, towards a set of fancy chairs in the foyer.
Remilia's pointy ears pricked, and her slightly irked expression softened into one of intrigue. Had this, perhaps, all gone according to her grand plans after all?
"... I'm listening."
Hecatia dramatically stepped one of her high-heeled boots to the shiny foyer flooring with a sharp clack, "Aha! I had a feeling you would be a woman of taste!" The eccentric god swung her head towards Remilia with vigour, her silky red hair delicately skimming her shoulders.
"I am planning... a one-of-a-kind contest of strength! The best of the brawny! The cream of the crunched pecs! And I'd like you lot to get involved. Actually, this mansion seems like the ideal stage for a show this grandiose."
Meiling, Remilia and Sakuya all blinked at Hecatia and Marisa’s matching smug expressions with sheer disbelief. Noticing that even Sakuya was confused, Meiling plucked up her slumped posture and raised a finger in question.
"Urm," she said, "what does a test of strength have to do with Christmas?"
"I'm very glad you asked!" Hecatia pointed excitedly at Meiling, "It has nothing to do with Christmas! But I've got a lot of buddies from Hell who have been super good this year and deserve a little R&R. So! I thought I'd throw them a bone and do something fun."
"And what, dare I ask, is in it for us, hm?" Remilia fearlessly paced around Hecatia and Marisa with a wickedly haughty grin, "You think I shall simply allow you all to usurp my own unrivalled Christmas party with your barbaric riff-raff?"
As if anticipating this exact question, Marisa span around and whipped her fantastically large black hat off. She dove her hand dexterously into the hat, then pulled out a large bottle of a deep, brick-red liquid.
She gave the bottle an enticing jostle, "We've got meeeead~" she teased. Then, defying physics, she shuffled around further in her hat and pulled out a sweet and juicy-looking pastry, "and ‘Back-lava’ too."
“Baklava!” Hecatia corrected her.
Marisa shrugged and plopped it in her mouth. She then fumbled around in the skirt of her long black coat, pulled out a white handkerchief from somewhere, and dabbed her noisily-chewing mouth with it. "Man that's good," she said with her mouth full.
Sakuya rubbed her chin with a finger and glared curiously at the food Marisa was snacking on, as well as the glass of sweet mead that had mysteriously appeared in Marisa's hand. "It would certainly make a welcome addition to our usual roast and wine spread... and one cannot say it isn't festive..."
"Heh... heheheheh!" Remilia cackled quietly, dramatically covering her mouth with her hand. "You really think I'm going to let you come and make a ruckus in my history-steeped mansion, in exchange for a little FOOD and ALCOHOL!? The naivety of fools!"
"I'll even tell everyone in Hell that you throw the sickest and most metal Christmas parties ever." Hecatia calmly added.
"Oh my god that actually sounds really cool..." Remilia mumbled to herself, clenching her fist near her face and nibbling her bottom lip.
'S-Seriously!? Just like that!?' Meiling slumped over in disbelief. She had a pretty bad feeling about this, and every second she stared at Remilia's face, watching it turn slowly from anger... to intrigue... to excitement... to determination... to so proud that she probably thought she came up with it herself...
Oh god, this was really going to happen, wasn't it.
"Sakuya," Remilia planted her hands on her hips, grin spreading from fang to fang, "so sorry to have not informed you beforehand, but this year's Christmas festivities shall be handled by external management."
The brilliantly elegant maid, her eyes peacefully shut, curtsied gracefully. She then sharply lifted her hands into the air and opened her palms, as if miming that she was intentionally dropping a heavy tray to the ground.
Moments later, the distant sound of crashing and shattering, accompanied by fairy-maid screaming, appeared to ring out from the direction of the mansion kitchens. Meiling had seen Sakuya acting like a one-woman-pantomime far too many times to even bother asking.
"Y'mean... yer in?" A faint smile grew excitedly on Marisa's face. She was met with tired resignation from Sakuya, a dishevelled daze from Meiling...
... And a firm nod from the Lord of the Mansion, Remilia Scarlet.
"We're in."
At her words, the mansion's doors slammed so loudly shut that the ground beneath the floors themselves seemed to rumble.
"Oh, marvellous!" Throwing one of her legs theatrically over the other, Hecatia began to levitate higher into the air. "Utterly... fantastic." A grin that could only be described as horrific juttered violently across her face, the glint in her eyes so horrid that it could likely debilitate a lesser youkai or god without resistance.
"Then... let's get started."
The illusion of deep rumbling in the ground was no longer illusion as it became more and more palpable, the grand chandelier on the ceiling clanging and teetering, the whole mansion appearing to tremble from the ground up. Even the flooring appeared to be heating up, steam blasting in increasingly intense bellows from Hecatia's ominously massive shadow.
'I-I knew this was bad!! I knew this was bad...!!' Meiling shielded her squinting eyes from the flying dust and debris. Sakuya and Remilia, though, appeared to remain totally calm, while Marisa tried heroically to keep drinking mead from her cup as it splashed up her nose.
Moments after Meiling scrunched her eyes shut in bracing herself for a hellish reckoning, though... the rumbling calmed. The dust began to settle, now uncannily obscuring a new group of dark figures.
"Allow me to formally introduce tonight's colourful cast of contestants!" Hecatia clapped her hands twice quickly, then swept her arm across the crowd with a warmly festive smile as they slowly came into view. Were they all people who had agreed to be part of this... whatever this was?
"First up..." Hecatia took a deep breath in. She hovered over a terrifyingly tall and wide silhouette with a sharp point at its top, "All the way from Old Hell, one of the four devas! She loves good booze and a fair fight... Yuugi Hoshiguma!"
"Hey! Good ta be here!" Yuugi emerged from the smoke, sheepishly rubbing the side of her head with one hand, holding the neck of a bottle of mead with her other. Not only was she like, 7 foot, but her muscles were absolutely colossal, oh dear god.
Hecatia nodded gratefully at Yuugi, then floated along. "Next... that mysterious mountain hermit with a mysteriously comprehensive knowledge of Hell... Kasen Ibara!!"
A shorter woman with bouncy pink hair in Chinese buns emerged from the smoke. Her motherly smile heavily contrasted her wildly bandaged arm. "I'm only here on a bet with Yuugi, but I look forward to the festivities all the same." Kasen bowed politely. Definitely someone Meiling recognised; this woman was a regular at Hakurei Shrine, and had even visited the mansion once or twice.
"To her left... and your right..." Hecatia continued, "a bunch of rowdy skeletons from Hell, that Kasen assures me she has not been keeping in her closet."
... Just as she said, a bunch of literal skeletons clattered and jumbled forward. Was this really Christmas!? It felt more like Halloween!!
"What the hell," Kasen pouted irritably, fists on her hips, "anything I say in response to that is going to sound suspicious, what gives?"
"I'm just messing with you!" Hecatia giggled innocently at Kasen. "Don't worry folks, I believe her. These lonely skeleton dudes are just looking for a fight, just like THESE random oni and lampads!" Hecatia gestured vaguely towards the next set of silhouettes. Unfamiliar oni and Hell-fairies of various sizes started lining up, flexing muscles, doing flamboyant poses. Some of them looked exceptionally unimpressive, like ordinary people, considering they were from Hell.
Quickly moving on from the shuffling group of unremarkable side-figures, Hecatia drifted over the final person in the line-up. Or at least, it seemed like a person. Whatever it was lost any semblance of shape towards the bottom of its torso. Some kind of spirit, maybe?
“Aaaaand we have this person!" Hecatia said. Okay yeah it was a person.
"It's Konngara," the figure replied, as a woman emerged from the smoke. Jet black hair tied back in a messy red ribbon, with a sharp red horn protruding from her forehead. Her red robes appeared to fall into a misshaped distortion below her torso, as if the rest of her form were out of phase with reality, "it’s true that I haven't been to the surface in quite some time, but I won't let you disrespect me."
Everyone sort of blinked at Konngara with confusion - it was pretty evident that not a single person recognised her. Whoever she was down in Hell, she probably kept to herself.
"Aw, I meant no disrespect!" Hecatia waved her arms playfully, "I just forgot your name a sec, Hell's so huge you know, and- UHH YOUNG LADY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?" Hecatia's tone took a surprise shift as her gaze shot back from Konngara to the group of oni and lampads.
One of the lampads had sprung forth from the smoke with flashy pomp, holding up a stick. Her shining blonde hair and weird red white and blue dress and socks were immediately recognisable to anyone who had spent enough time at Hakurei Shrine lately.
"Aaaaaaand Clownpiece!!" the lampad yelled dramatically, waving the stick around, "Try not to go too mad with excitement!! Heheheeheeheeheee~!" she began to cackle with a fiendish grin.
Again, everyone just sort of stared.
"Nothing's going to happen, you know." Sakuya sighed, shaking her head at Clownpiece. "I put that torch out the moment you entered this mansion. Can't have you driving the Mistress mad now, can we?"
"Ehhhhhh...!?" Clownpiece's posture slumped over, her face pouting as Hecatia flew over to her.
"Piece, what are you doing here? I thought I gave you a mission to enjoy the festive period with Gensokyo's fairies." Hecatia said, sternly putting her hands on Piece's shoulders.
Clownpiece pouted even harder, "B-but Lady Hecatia! Your idea of a Christmas party sounded way more exciting and you did say I needed to prank people in Gensokyo so I thought I could come here and drive everyone mad but I-" her voice escalated as the excuses kept tumbling out.
Her chattering only calmed once Hecatia comfortingly patted the goofy jester hat on her head. "Now Piece... this is meant to be a fun occasion for some of Hell's residents to let loose and relax. We can't be causing them extra stress by driving them mad now, can we?"
"B-but... but Lady Hecatia I-..." Clownpiece stuttered, forcing herself to look her guardian in the eyes, "c-can I please join in!? Even though I live in Gensokyo now... I still want to spend time with you, too...!"
"Oh, you silly girl..." Hecatia huffed gently, bringing Piece into a hug, "very well, your mission for Christmas this year is to spend some quality time with your boss, all right?"
"This is quite splendid," Remilia quietly clapped her hands, whispering aside to Sakuya and Meiling, "it is as if we have front-row seats to a festive-season pantomime about the importance of togetherness and family."
Even Meiling couldn't help but smile at Hecatia and Piece's unexpectedly touching moment...
W-wait, this still wasn't right! Hecatia said this was meant to be a 'fun' occasion, but something about this definitely didn't seem fun!!
"Right then!" Hecatia clapped her hands together, once again addressing the crowd, "last, but not least... the final contestant... one from this very mansion. Choose your warrior carefully!"
Huh, they had to enter someone too? Well Remilia was kind of an oni, maybe she'd like to get rough. Sakuya also got pretty antsy when she hadn't been in a fight for a while. Meiling briefly began to daydream, feeling a little better as she imagined her Mistress or girlfriend fighting valiantly in the name of the mansion.
"Hong Meiling it is!” Hecatia bellowed in announcement, “We can't wait to see the strength you bring to the competition!"
Blink. Blink blink.
Meiling's neck cranked to the side, heart sinking into her stomach. Both Remilia and Sakuya... her beloved family whom she trusted and adored... were pointing excitedly at her.
"HUUUUUUUUUH!?" Meiling screamed.
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!' Meiling screamed internally.
"I'm really sorry, Meiling," Sakuya bowed apologetically, "with this many unusual guests, I really must make sure that all are properly attended to."
"This is my party, is it not?" Remilia tilted her head at Meiling with a facetiously kind smile, "how am I to be properly relaxed and entertained if I am not enjoying these brilliant bouts from the sidelines?"
"Plus, I've really missed seeing your remarkable punches and kicks, Meiling." Sakuya added.
"Oh yes, with the rainbow effects! They make me feel veritably gay." Remilia beamed.
"Extremely gay." Sakuya nodded happily, a faint trace of blush teasing her stern composure.
...
The contestants stood in the foyer chattering amongst each other, all lined up in the order Hecatia introduced them. It was lucky the entrance hall was so large, because there must have been at least 50 individuals here counting all the skeletons and oni and lampads.
Near the end of the line, where Meiling stood, Hecatia was muttering with Marisa and Sakuya about something and pointing at sheets of important-looking bar graphs and pie charts and tables. Squinting, Meiling could make out that one of the bar graphs just said "Economy!!" underneath it in loud, turquoise writing. This was all it took for Meiling to conclude that they were probably not at all important.
"All right, sounds good!" Hecatia started bundling the pointless papers together under her arm, "we'll be ready to begin soon then, thanks Sakuya." Giving a grateful nod, Hecatia floated upstairs to the grand hall - presumably to speak with Remilia.
"Sooo," Sakuya sighed, turning towards Marisa with a friendly smile, "are you going to tell me how you got wrapped up in this? I never took you for a toady."
"It's nothin' big," Marisa rested her hands behind her head, giving Sakuya a familiar grin, "Hecatia needed someone who's familiar with Gensokyo to help her organise this thing. In exchange, all I asked for was t' visit her place in Hell sometime."
Sakuya held her gloved hand to her mouth, letting out a genuine chuckle. "So you spotted an opportunity to loot a god of Hell's home? Typical."
Ahh... that gentle smile... that wonderful laugh... Meiling felt like she hadn't had it to herself in so long. She clutched a fist to a dull ache in her chest.
"Oi, that's slander," Marisa crossed her arms and stuck her nose up, her long cloak of blonde hair bouncing behind her, "is it such a crime t' jus’ be excited that I've been invited to a hot lady's house? Maybe she'll even offer me some coffee if y'know what I'm sayin'. Whatever ends up gettin' borrowed is just a cherry on top!"
"You haven't changed," said Sakuya, giving Marisa's hat a single, friendly pat, "don't you want to see Patchy while you're here?"
"Eh? N-nah," Marisa tugged her hat over her forehead, "'m sure she doesn't wanna see me goin' gaga for Hecatia."
Sakuya began to slowly walk in the direction of the grand hall to fetch Hecatia for the final check, "Hmm? As far as I’m aware, Lady Patchouli has been positively comfortable with an expanding polycule. Are you sure you're not hiding something?" she grinned knowingly at Marisa.
Marisa hid a stiff smile with her hat, then rushed after Sakuya.
Suddenly realising they were leaving, Meiling's heart jumped. "W-wait, Sakuya!" before she knew it, she had stepped from the line with her hand outstretched. "U-uh, are you helping them? What exactly is going on?"
Turning to see Meiling, Sakuya's eyes lit up. She returned to the end of the line, just far away enough that Konngara probably couldn't hear them. "Yes, I am." she said.
"F-fancy giving me some hints or something!? I feel a little out of my league here, heheh." Meiling mumbled, still feeling a little exasperated by how distant everyone felt despite the festive season.
Meiling's gaze trained on Sakuya, she noticed Sakuya avert eyes with a frown, then flash Marisa a guilty smile. "What do you think? Can I talk to her?"
Marisa just shrugged, "Dude it's a bit of fun. I assure you, you're payin' way more attention to the 'rules' than me or Hecatia are."
To Meiling's huge relief, Sakuya's expression finally relaxed. She turned back to Meiling with a grin, and stepped close to her.
"They wanted some help mapping out where in the mansion was suitable for the event, and I was eager to assist," she said, nodding proudly, "few know this mansion's intricacies better than I do."
"D-did you give me any handicaps?" Meiling beamed excitedly at Sakuya.
"That would be lame." Marisa pouted irritably at the two of them.
Sakuya giggled sweetly, "Your knowledge of the mansion is its own handicap, right? We'll give you all the full rules soon, but I will say that it'll be more physical than the average danmaku duel," she explained, then brushed herself up snugly against Meiling's side.
She was warm...
"It's right up your alley, dear,” Sakuya assured,” both myself and the Mistress think you're perfect for it."
Meiling's eyes widened a little as she gazed down into Sakuya's. "S-Sakuya..." there was a genuine intimacy in Sakuya's fond expression... something Meiling wished she had seen more of during this busy week, "so you were serious about wanting to see me doing 'remarkable rainbow punches'?"
Sakuya gripped her fists to Meiling's arms and tugged her slightly lower. Meiling's face heated up and she ducked down slightly, knowing the invitation all too well. Propped on her tip-toes, Sakuya pressed her lips affectionately into Meiling's.
Of course Meiling was eager to return the affection. Feeling Sakuya's arms comfortably cuddle into her a little, Meiling wrapped her arms around Sakuya. She finally gave her girlfriend a brief, relieved squeeze, fervently squishing their faces together.
A comfortable few moments later, Sakuya pulled back. Her eyes fluttered shyly, a precious blush of 'I miss you, too' on her usually calm face.
"Good luck, sweetie. I'm rooting for you. Exclusively." she winked charismatically, straightening her back before vanishing.
Marisa, realising that Sakuya had gone to finish off the preparations and inform Hecatia, began to rush after her. "Ya'll are adorable, hope ya know that!!" she shouted back to Meiling as she surfed up the grand staircase on her broom.
A few of the contestants near Meiling begun to chatter about Meiling being 'romantically involved with one of the judges' or something.
Meiling didn't care though. For the first time all day, she finally believed that she really had just been worrying too much.
...
"Deck the Hells!" Hecatia announced.
It had only been a few short minutes, but she had already gathered everyone together in the foyer again.
"That's th’ name of the event," Marisa added, "she came up with it herself and won't stop sayin' it out loud."
"The rules are simple!" Hecatis continued, ignoring Marisa's unsolicited snark, "Every contestant will position themselves in a random room throughout the ground floor of the mansion! Then, you make your way around the mansion and deck every other contestant you run into, until there's only one of you left standing!"
"D-deck!? As in knock out!?" Meiling stepped forward anxiously, "like, out cold!?" she yelped. 'Against oni!?' she thought.
Hecatia shrugged and shook her head. "Each contestant should battle however they like. Danmaku, brute strength, ring-out, 'til loss of consciousness, whatever. Please don't kill any mortals or destroy the mansion though, this is just a bit of fun!"
"So it's a Battle Royale?" Yuugi interjected.
"It's different. It's 'Deck the Hells'." Hecatia shook her head.
"It's a Battle Royale." Kasen nodded.
Heroically ignoring the ignorance, Hecatia powered on. "Our guest-staff member, Sakuya, will be using her timey wimey abilities to check every room. The moment everyone finds a room that is unoccupied by another contestant, she will inform me and then you can all start Decking The Hells! As it were. Heheheh."
"She keeps repeating it as if it were some impressive title drop." Konngara crossed her arms and furrowed her brow irritably. Some skeleton bones from somewhere down the line rattled in agreement.
"Leave her alone, she's an artiste, not a writer." Clownpiece yipped, utterly failing to mount a convincing defence of her poor guardian.
'I-isn't a writer a type of artist...!?' Meiling thought, increasingly exasperated by the absurdity of the situation.
Hecatia, heart-warmed at Piece's abetment, looked once more over the crowd of contestants. "One last thing, most of the largest rooms in the mansion have impressive food and drink spreads all prepared for you. Roast and spit-cooked lamb and pork, spinach and cheese pies, and a whole lot of delectable Greek pastries and drinks. Help yourself, especially if it helps you keep your energy up. Any questions?"
Remilia Scarlet, Lord of the Mansion, thrust her hand up into the air with a commanding presence. "I have one question. One very. important. question." she cackled, lips tugging into an impish grin.
Hecatia looked down at Remilia from the air, a cruel red glow in her eyes, "Yes...?"
"I notice your shirt says ‘Satan's Little Helper’ on it so I must confess I have been wondering. What's Satan like in person?" Remilia asked, still holding her arm in the air curiously.
"I actually got this t-shirt from the outside world, I've never met her myself. She works in a whoole other part of Hell."
Remilia put her arm down. "Ah, I see. Thank you for your answer."
"You are welcome," Hecatia nodded cordially, "now, any other questions before we begin?"
A few moments of silence. A few more moments of silence. A loud coughing sound came in the direction of the group of lampads. Oh no, it sounds like she's choking on her drink! Nevermind, she's okay.
"Nothing...?" Hecatia slowly hovered herself to the ground, her eyes glowing, her smirk wicked, “In that case... on my word, to your positions..." slowly but surely, her expression lightened into a jubilant, festive grin.
"DECK. THE. HELLS!"
The entire entrance hall roused to a thunderous tremble, as stampedes of youkai and fairies dashed in every direction as quickly as their superhuman legs or wings could take them, each and every one eager to find a good base camp before anyone else could.
"Yo Hecatia. Please stop tryn'a make 'Deck The Hells' a thing," Marisa mumbled, irritably rubbing the side of her head as she hopped on her broom to start with the judging, "it's never gonna be a thing."
Hecatia crossed her arms. "Ungrateful for my creative talent, the lot of you," she pouted, before floating away after Marisa and Sakuya.
Meiling was admittedly still anxious. She wasn't too worried about fighting skeletons, but she'd never fought lampads before. Plus the idea of going up against oni, let alone a deva like Yuugi, was pretty terrifying.
She certainly wasn't in a hurry to go find a good room though - she knew this mansion like the back her hand and didn't feel like securing a good place was really all that important. She had started to slowly make her way towards one of the unassuming guest lounges nearest the entrance hall, when she was approached by Remilia.
"Psst, Meiling," Remilia conspicuously held her hand next to her mouth in a whispering motion, "my apologies if it seems as though I forthwith sprang this monumental quest upon you."
Meiling sheepishly adjusted her hat on the back of her head. "O-oh it's all right Mistress! Sakuya told me you both thought I'd be perfect for it."
Remilia tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, looking a little confused. "Actually, I did not reveal to Sakuya why I wanted you to do it."
'H-huh? Sakuya was just trying to make me feel better?'
"The real reason I picked you, Meiling!" Remilia plopped her fists on her hips and proudly stuck her nose up, "is because I remembered you sharing your relationship concerns with me! And I thought, this would be the perfect way to impress Sakuya! With your muscles!!"
'...M-Mistress Remilia wanted me to feel better too!??!'
Meiling sniffled, trying not to let it show that her eyes were welling up slightly. She wasn't used to Remilia being so thoughtful for no reason, even if her methods of doing so were questionable. "M-Mistress...!!" Meiling blubbered, a little overcome with emotion. She gripped her fists in determination at her side, a confident grin slowly finding its way onto her face and her heartbeat steadying, "I won't let you or Sakuya down!"
"Plus!" Remilia piped up again as Meiling stomped down the hall towards the guest lounges, "it is true what Reimu said last year: you truly are the colours of Christmas! Who better to represent the Mansion at a Christmas party!?"
'Sh-she just had to go and ruin a nice moment, huh...' Meiling froze on the spot, wincing, 'why'd she remember that weird observation, of all things...'
...
Meiling's room ended up being exactly the sort of room she figured she'd end up with. While most of the contestants were probably in a hurry to find an impressive arena befitting of housing a champion, the modest Meiling chose one of the dozens of unremarkable guest rooms as her base of operations.
She hung in the doorway of this empty room, pretty confident that the contest would begin the moment she shut it behind her. She closed her eyes, seeking one last moment of reflection, and clenched her fists tight.
She knew she was far from being the strongest resident of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and now there were oni and demons and disciplined hermits and whatnot here. Ugh... just looking at Yuugi Hoshiguma was enough to send shivers down Meiling's spine. Yuugi’s muscles gave Meiling shivers for multiple reasons. 'Dammit,' but also 'Dayum'.
In comparison, Meiling's own muscles were...
She flexed her right bicep and felt her frilly sleeve clench over it, then looked at her arm.
... Okay her biceps were pretty amazing. Sakuya did fawn over them pretty regularly. Nothing compared to Yuugi's, but Meiling was relieved her self-confidence wasn't completely shot.
'All right...' Meiling thought to herself, clenching her fists once again and stepping into the room. 'No need to rely on danmaku, huh... I wonder how many of these demons have ever met a youkai with real dedication to tai chi chuan!?'
She nodded. She pumped herself up. Centring her ki in the core of her body, she paced to the middle of the room without closing the door, then turned back to face it.
'I'll show Sakuya and the Mistress the breathtaking rainbow punches they want to see so badly!'
Then, without moving a muscle in her body... "Hm...!!" she grunted, and the door shut gently through nothing but her own ki.
"The final contestant is now in position!" came Hecatia's disembodied voice, sounding both eerie but also kinda just sounding like she was shouting through a loudspeaker.
"Ready...? Set...?"
A pause. One that felt like the culmination of destiny itself.
"... GO!!!"
Consumed with only one thought: 'Thank god she didn't say "Deck The Hells" again,' Meiling hurtled through the door as quickly as her long legs would carry her. Her fist already brimmed with ki in anticipation of the brawl that would begin the moment she stepped into the hallway.
-SMASH-
The red-head's sharp reflexes meant that her left fist had been driven clean through the skull of a scampering skeleton before she had even become fully conscious of its presence; before she had even landed her left foot into the hall.
Shards of bone, appearing to sparkle and glisten every colour of the rainbow, clinked and clattered around Meiling's vision in slow-motion as her mind quickly comprehended just how much was already going on.
Keeping her ki centred, keeping her mind empty and calm, Meiling could immediately, effortlessly plot-out her next move. Coming from her left were a dozen-or-so skeletons and lampads. A few oni. Judging from how quickly her fist had pestled that skeleton's head into rainbow dust, there was a decent chance they were small fry. The path to the right led back to the foyer area. She didn't want to try her luck with a huge arena like that; it seemed like the sort of place a huge oni like Yuugi might wind up. Her game plan was just... try to last as long as possible. As good a plan as any.
All right.
Meiling's left foot struck to the ground. Driven by the momentum still throwing the right side of her body forward, she dug her heel in and pivoted left. Without losing any speed, she turned sharply and shot down the hallway.
Step. THUNK. A single large stride of her dash left her right fist swiftly meeting the stomach of a lampad with a dull thump.
"Hhhhyurhhghh..." the poor fairy's mouth reflexively fell open. "Euuurgh!!" she gagged, coughing up saliva that appeared to refract every colour of the rainbow as it sputtered gracefully from her mouth.
Meiling kept her fist on the lampad's stomach. And she kept running. In fact she only picked up speed. Her fist only shone brighter and brighter.
The fairy's back knocked over two of the other lampads with her. The lampad's back smashed through one skeleton's rib cage, sending it shattering everywhere, digging shards of bone into the poor fairy's back.
"Hhaaaaaaa..." a powerful rumble rose from Meiling's lungs.
Meiling kept running, her fist driving the lampad through foe after foe. The fairy was now extremely unconscious, but her mouth hung open, a glorious stream of rainbow-coloured vomit trailing behind Meiling's fiery red hair and flapping green dress as she charged, crashed through. In fact, she had charged head-first (or lampad-first) into a huge blockade of skeletons attempting in vain to take down a couple of oni.
"Hrrr... RrrrrrRRRRAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!" Meiling screamed, her fist glowing so brightly that one of the oni fearfully shielded his eyes.
The tattered lampad thumped to an apparent stop into the group of skeletons and oni.
For a fraction of a moment, Meiling’s arm eased ever so slightly back.
... FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
Kicking forward with her right foot, Meiling twisted her glowing palm into a fist, finally releasing the spiritual energy that had been building in it.
An immense, golden flame ignited from Meiling's arm in an instant, rainbow trails flickering like a majestic, monstrous tail from the tail of her skirt.
Thunk. THUNK. THUNK THUNK THUD THUD THUDDUDUDUDUDUD. CRASSHH.
The lampad was no longer anywhere near Meiling's hand - and neither were any of the other demons that had so briefly halted her. A scattering of hats, clothes, bones and bodies lay dotted for at least a couple dozen feet in front of Meiling, dents all over the walls, scuffs and scratches bellowing off smoke, some licked by dull rainbow flames where they had been freshly gashed.
Meiling paused and stood straight. She took a breath, centring her ki again, before continuing on down the hall at a more composed pace. Nothing in this hallway was conscious anymore, after all.
Actually, the lampad no longer appeared to be anywhere at all. The poor thing had died - poofed. Lampads were pretty strong for fairies, but they were still fairies.
"God that was violent though." Meiling forced a guilty laugh to herself.
Towards the end of this hallway were the kitchen and dining areas. It seemed fairly likely that those huge rooms could become scenes of power struggles. Carefully, Meiling stepped into the large dining hall.
... Hm. Curiously empty.
Quieting her ki, she trained the perimeter of the room.
As she approached the opposite hall, she could have sworn she heard the faint sound of... an organ playing?
Teasing a peek into the hallway, she noticed about six or seven oni all limply wandering, single-file, into the music room. Meiling squinted... she could make out an eerie red light drifting out. Oh god... she had a really bad feeling abo-
DUNNNNNNN.
Meiling leapt backward in shock at the almost-deafening organ chord as a black and red bolt crackled out of the room. Within seconds, a dozen or so oni bodies had been viciously hurled out of the room, blasted against the wall with bodies covered in ghastly slices and cuts.
'O-oh god... oh god...' Meiling backed away from the door slowly, trying to keep her presence hidden, 'i-is that Konngara!? Why'd someone so terrifying have to end up in the mansion...'
For now, anywhere but here seemed like a better idea, so Meiling made her way to the back wall of the dining hall. As she neared the entrances to the kitchens though, she heard a deep thump, followed by a body flying out the door. This was becoming a theme.
"Hhuuuuuu... -wheeze-" whined a messy blonde head of hair as she tried, and failed, to pull herself from the ground, "poop."
Meiling cautiously approached the girl to get a better look at her face. Oh. Oh were eyes supposed to inflate that much? Her face was completely red and purple and blue. Oh god. Meiling winced.
"C-Clownpiece...?" Meiling mumbled, her eyes widening in horror, "is that you?"
"PIECE!!" Hecatia suddenly phased in next to them, kneeling to scoop the lampad up in her arms, "who did this to you!?" she muttered, gently brushing Piece's hair from her eyes with the back of her hand.
"H-heheh..." Piece coughed dramatically, cuddling up to Hecatia slightly, "I wanted to accept Yuugi's challenge for a physical brawl, without danmaku, a-and..."
"You silly girl..." Hecatia squeezed Piece's hand, cuddling it to her face, "this is why I didn't want you to come to the party... I knew you'd get yourself hurt..."
"Why'd you let Yuugi join anyway!?" Piece's intonation was suddenly more on the whiny side, "she's from Old Hell, not Hell!"
Hecatia pouted, "Oh quit your complaining. How can anyone say no to having a deva or two at an event like this!?"
Meiling just sort of stood there, too anxious to move from this spot. She felt like she was watching something too personal for her eyes, until Clownpiece turned towards her with a throaty, sickly cough.
"G-gatekeeper..." Piece was muttering again. She reached a weak hand out to Meiling, "y-you saw what happened... you have to avenge... me..."
"... E-eh?" Meiling muttered, eyes widening slightly, "I don't follow."
"Blehhh... I deaad..." Piece moaned, flopping over into Hecatia's arms. A few seconds later, she was snoring.
Hecatia stood up with the lampad in her arms, and sighed loudly. "Well, it is her nap time," she smiled gently, turning to sheepishly smile at Meiling. "The foolish girl so badly just wanted to raise hell with me. Heheh... she's always getting in over her head for my sake. I wish she'd learn to take it easy."
'To be honest lady, I don't know either of you and I'm currently more upset that you made another hell pun.' Meiling thought to herself, but remembered her manners as a servant of the mansion, "uh, I'm sure Sakuya mentioned, but you're free to use any free guest room if she needs to rest."
Hecatia gave Meiling a friendly chuckle and a warm grin, "Thanks, gatekeeper. Enjoy the rest of the competition, okay!? Half of you are already down!"
With that, Hecatia hupped Clownpiece's arms over her shoulders, supporting her tush, like the way a parent might hold their sleeping kid. Giving Meiling a buddy-buddy wave, she floated away into the air and phased away.
Meiling froze, completely still for a moment.
Silence.
Then, she let out a HUGE sigh of relief.
For a second, she worried that Piece or Hecatia really were gonna make her challenge Yuu-
"OI!! Is that you out there, Meiling? Get in here!!"
"Hoh! You say there's someone out there Marisa!? Whoever's out there, don't be shy! I challenge you, friend!!"
... Shit.
'Fuck you, Marisa.'
Well, it's been fun. Was it fun? It wasn't that fun.
"UUUUUUUGGGHHH." Meiling groaned bitterly, getting all her slumping and hunching over with for now. She then straightened her back again, gathered her ki, and composed herself.
She stepped into the kitchens. The marble walls that Sakuya so loved to keep crystal clean were now spattered in cracks, some chunks even crumbling out. All the kitchen tables and counters that the maids used to cook up such wonderful and extravagant feasts for hugely hungry vampires had somehow all been upended; squished together to make one, big elevated platform in the centre of the room.
There, standing in the middle of the platform, was Yuugi Hoshiguma. The white top she normally wore appeared to have fallen in tatters around her waist, torn up by her own bulked-up brawn. The only thing on her torso now were the sarashi wrappings around her chest.
"Hong Meiling, was it? Good ta meetcha again. Come on up here!" The honourable oni waved a friendly hand. Absolutely the biggest friendly hand Meiling had ever seen in her long life.
"That's me. It’s good to properly meet you, too." Meiling replied sensibly.
'G-good god.' Meiling shivered in sheer awe of the oni's incredible form. She felt absolutely doomed.
Meanwhile, sitting in the corner of the room, eating a roast leg of lamb with one hand while holding a huge jug of mead in the other, was Marisa. "Yoooo Meiling! I've set myself up as the judge of Yuugi's wrestlin' matches, ain't that awesome!?"
"Y-yeah, that's great, Marisa." Meiling, dead inside, nodded for her. Marisa was apparently so pissed off her head that she had decided to completely destroy Meiling's chances of advancing any further in this thing. Better get this over with...
"Right!" Yuugi excitedly smacked a fist to her palm, with such force that it made the platform quake around her. "I like the look of your arms so uh. Hang on."
'?????' Meiling's face flushed almost as red as her hair as she watched Yuugi just tear a god damn chunk out of the kitchen counter and thunk it down in front of her like it was nothing. "Toss me a couple chairs, Marisa." Yuugi bellowed to the drunk magician.
"GOTCHAA!" Marisa stumbled out of her chair and haphazardly chucked a couple of the chairs around her in Yuugi's general direction. One of them crashed into the platform. The other broke after landing on Yuugi's head.
"I'll use that one." Yuugi, without batting an eye, took the broken chair and placed it beside her. She grabbed the other chair and placed it on the other side of the small counter.
Oh god. Meiling had a feeling she knew where this was going. Without saying a word, she got up on the platform, and stood beside her assigned chair.
"Arm-wrestle me." Yuugi beamed a confident, toothy grin at Meiling, holding out a hand again for a hand-shake.
'Knew it.' Meiling returned the hand-shake... then nodded. "I'd be honoured."
Yes she was terrified. Horrified even. Still, it wasn't every day you got challenged to an arm-wrestle from one of the four devas. It was actually extremely flattering. "Actually, could you give me a moment?" Meiling turned away from Yuugi and Marisa, and began to unbutton her dress.
"Heh. Smart girl." Yuugi, whose top had already suffered collateral damage, immediately empathised.
Meiling neatly folded her dress and set it to the side. Now only wearing the skirt of her dress, her torso wrapped by sarashi, Meiling turned to face Yuugi and Marisa again.
"PFFFFFPPPTH" Marisa spat her mead all over the floor in shock, her jug spilling over its sides as she gaped at Meiling, jaw virtually hitting the floor. "H-holy shit, I had no idea you were so ripped!?"
The grin on Yuugi's face only widened as she studied Meiling’s broad shoulders and defined pectorals. Meiling didn't bat an eyelid: she already knew her physical brawn was fairly impressive. Being a youkai with a really built body was one thing - being able to beat an oni in an arm-wrestle was another.
"Let's do this." Meiling took a deep breath, then sat herself down on the chair. With a stern expression, she thunked her right elbow down on the counter and tensely clenched her fist a couple of times. Yuugi gently sunk herself down on the already-broken chair.
The room’s air was so quiet, so strained, that Meiling could hear the sound of the poor chair creaking under the oni's might. Yuugi gently lowered her own right elbow to the table, aligning Meiling's, but even with its gentle arrival the arm's presence alone was enough to make the very fibres of Meiling's muscles quake in anxiety.
Meiling briefly entertained the idea that the only way she could ever beat Yuugi would be if the chair gave way and Yuugi toppled down. How honourless, she thought! She would never accept it, especially not against such a proud opponent.
No, no. The only way Meiling was getting out of this was if she lost. All she could do was avoid thinking about winning or losing. Follow her martial arts. Bring her energy into her core, live in the moment, meet force with softness.
"Aight, gonna start the countdown gang." Marisa, finally over the majesty of the muscle-tapestry before her, walked to the side of the platform so she had a fair view. Yuugi and Meiling adjusted into comfortable positions, then gripped their hands together.
That's an idea. Could Meiling possibly wear out Yuugi's brute force with stamina, and then turn the tables when Yuugi was running low?
"Threeee."
Ahh, here goes. The moment Meiling would probably disappoint Sakuya. It wasn't like she hadn't tried, though.
"Twoooo..."
Yuugi grinned at Meiling. Meiling grinned back. This wouldn't be such a bad way to go, actually. Yuugi seemed like a pretty good person. Losing against an oni like her would be an honour, in a way.
"One......"
Now though, as farfetched as it seemed, the possibility of somehow winning had settled home in Meiling's mind. Surely it wasn't impossible... she just had to live in the now.
"START!" Marisa threw her arm down in front of her, showing an energy only appropriate for a huge sporting event.
Within moments, Marisa's enthusiasm rewarded her. Muscles tensed, rock-solid strain rippling up the combatants' arms.
Marisa could have sworn that not only Yuugi's biceps, but Meiling's as well, had expanded in bulk at least twofold. She took a step back in awe, before remembering herself and leaning over the table, wide-eyed and determined.
Meiling though, had no energy to look at muscles nor think about how great a muscle-show it was. Her mind was clear - the only thoughts trickling through her head pertaining to how she paced her energy. Energy to support her body from the swelling force opposite her. Energy to steadily flow up her right arm.
But what an incredible force... Meiling had never felt anything like it, and it took the immediate full-force of her ki to prevent an immediate loss.
A few moments in though - and the match was still going.
Meiling, ever so subtly, eased the full force of her resistance, endeavouring to cushion Yuugi's force with softness. If she had any chance of waiting this out and winning this thing, this would be it.
For a moment, 'Could I actually... do this?' tingled the back of Meiling's head, 'is this actually possible?'
-SLAM-
Before Meiling had been able to so much as comprehend the existence of those thoughts, the force of Yuugi's arm accelerated to exceed anything Meiling had ever experienced before. Well, anything besides the Scarlet Sisters themselves.
Meiling’s hand, though still full of energy and strength, lay twitching hopelessly on its back against the table, Yuugi's monolithic grip on top of it.
Meiling had lost.
She sighed, hints of a thrilled smile teasing her cheeks. "I concede." she said calmly. It had all happened so suddenly that Marisa had been pretty useless as a judge.
"U-uh. Yuugi wins!" A dumbfounded Marisa held up her left arm towards the victor, a clumsy drip of drool hanging from her mouth, "So you get knockout rights now, Yuugi."
... Knockout rights? Wha?
Yuugi stood up, "You're real good, Meiling. I can't remember the last time a non-oni put up so well 'gainst me in an arm-wrestle," she beamed. Yuugi offered her arm for another handshake, which Meiling accepted in a stupor.
Wait, go back to the knockout rights! What was that about!?
"Kinda sucks that, as per the rules..." Yuugi made her way around the table to face Meiling. She cricked her neck side to side. She cracked her knuckles. "I gotta deck you. Or knock you unconscious or somethin'."
Meiling shot a panicked look to Marisa, who just shrugged and nodded sympathetically. Oh, crap... Hecatia had said something like that, right.
W-well, hopefully her imminent jaw-shattering could be fixed by some miracle medicine from Eientei. She still had to get her fair share of Christmas food, after all...
Meiling, limp and dejected, walked to the side of the platform.
"All right. I'm ready." she held her arms out slightly, intentionally leaving her defence wide-open, and prepared her face for an inevitable, excruciating pain.
"Real sorry ta hafta do this do ya, friend," Yuugi said, loading back her gargantuan fist, "I told Kasen that there'd be hell ta pay if she didn't meet me in the finals, so I can't afford ta be soft."
Meiling's eyesight juttered and shuddered in fear, almost cross-eyed as she focused on the fist. 'Why oh why does the final thing I hear before going unconscious have to be another hell pun,' she winced, bracing herself.
The moment Meiling noticed the tendons on Yuugi's arm twitch, she scrunched her eyes shut and awaited the abrupt end of her consciousness.
-SMACKK-
A loud noise, much sharper and more forceful than Meiling’s numbed expectations, rang out in Meiling's ears. To be honest, she hadn't expected to hear anything at all. She scrunched her eyebrows pulling her neck back slightly.
'W-wait... am I... still conscious?'
Anxiously allowing her eyes to edge open, Meiling's vision was immediately overwhelmed by the bright glow of energy.
Every colour of the rainbow refracted white light before her, appearing to hang in the air like... wings.