Chapter Text
Finn spent a month in the medbay after taking a lightsaber to the back.
He didn’t remember it that well, or at least he didn’t until he really thought about it, brought back the immediacy of the pain that had kept him slipping between barely-lucid and an unhappy, fitful sleep.
There’d been a lot of nerve damage, apparently. It had been the main concern Doctor Kalonia had when she finally managed to pin him down for a medical debrief, just a few hours after the Battle of Crait.
A few basic stretches later, Finn was lying face down on a stretcher in the cargo bay of the Falcon, not entirely sure how he’d got there.
“Any numbness in the extremities?” She’d asked, passing a scanner over his spine. “Any lingering dizziness or double vision?”
“No,” Finn lied, squinting at the far wall. His toes had been prickling on and off, but considering recent events he figured he could wait to treat that. Maybe until the whole war was over, if they weren’t all dead before then.
Doctor Kalonia, unconvinced, hummed at him and gave him a cache of bacta strips. “You’re lucky, kid.”
Finn turned his head, then winced at the pain in his neck. Kalonia frowned and made a note on her datapad. “What?”
“You got a lot of visitors, back on D’Qar. That nice girl, Rey, and the young man that the General likes so much - Commander Dameron. Assuming he got reinstated, anyway.”
“Yeah,” Finn said. Poe had told him a few stories about the time he'd spent unconscious, the kind of anecdotes that only get more ridiculous the more times they're told. “I guess I did. I don’t remember it that well, to be honest.”
Kalonia shrugged. “Well, they visited a lot. I had to chase ‘em out a couple times, actually. Or get one of the droids to do it. Can’t get my hands too dirty out here. They’d take my license.”
Finn laughed at that, absently. He’d been struck by a hazy vision, half memory, half dream. Someone sat at the side of his bed, reading aloud.
Then, medical business apparently concluded, she turned away towards a crate of assorted medical supplies and left Finn to struggle back into his shirt in privacy.
Now, of course, there were a few more medics available. Finn’s toes were still unreliable, after a long year running resistance intel and narrowly avoiding death, but his vision was pretty much back to normal.
They beat the First and Final Orders in one fell swoop. He thought he might be able to spare a little time for a basic checkup.
“Do you know where the medbay is here?” He asked Poe at breakfast. The actual mess tent had been packed up the week before, all part of the bugging out process while the hastily installed civilian council figured out their next move. Finn and Poe, celebrated generals and heroes of the Battle of Exegol, were at something of a loose end.
So they were eating breakfast in their own, shared tent, metal trays balanced on their knees. Poe glanced up at him, swallowed the mouthful of porridge he’d just taken, and raised his eyebrows.
“You finally gonna get those toes looked at, buddy?”
Finn narrowed his eyes. “I told you that in confidence, man, don’t use it against me.”
Poe shrugged. “Don’t jump down my throat about it. I just figured you’d want to be able to go on tiptoe to see over high walls. Can’t carry a periscope round in peacetime.” He grinned at his own joke, eyes crinkling at the corners.
Finn felt an all-too-familiar swoop in his stomach. If he felt like being poetic, he might compare it to a hyperspace jump, or going through atmo in a troop ship. Exciting and terrifying all at once.
It was a really good thing he never felt like being poetic. Anyone who said otherwise was lying.
“Get out of my face,” he said eventually, looking down at his meal. “I just want to get checked out before we all, y’know, scatter.”
Poe blinked, slowly. His porridge lay forgotten. “Scatter?”
“It’s kind of going that way, haven’t you noticed?” Finn said, an inexplicable anger filling him. “Rey’s gone to scout out somewhere for her new school, Rose and Zorii both went with her, half the squadron is off doing freight for hire, D’Acy and her wife are retiring to breed bantha on Jakku. It’s a real skeleton crew around here.”
“I… hadn’t thought about it that way,” said Poe, slowly. He sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “We didn’t choose this planet as a base for its bustling metropolis. That’s what Corellia is for, and kriff knows we don’t need to go back there anytime soon.”
Finn knew Poe was right, really. But the absence of the people he’d come to know and love, to regard as family, stung more every day.
“Where are you gonna go?” He asked, aiming for casual and missing by a couple parsecs.
Poe frowned. “I don’t really have any plans to leave. Dad might take me, but I think I should leave him to enjoy retirement a little longer before I load all my baggage on him. I… haven’t really thought about the future that much, the last couple years.”
Finn reached out and took Poe’s hand, linking their fingers together. Usually Poe made a big production out of it, but this time he just slumped a little and squeezed Finn’s hand, his skin warm and dry. The bags under his eyes were heavier than Finn had seen them in some time.
“You’ve just been so positive,” said Finn. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Oh, kriff off,” said Poe, rolling his eyes. “You’re one to talk.”
“Rey agrees with me,” Finn retorted. “You gonna disagree with the last jedi?”
“I’ll fight her one-on-one anyday,” said Poe. He wiggled his shoulders a little. “I got moves.”
Finn looked sideways at Poe, eyebrows raised. He knew that Poe knew that Rey could kick both their asses into next week without breaking a sweat.
“You’re avoiding the question,” Finn pointed out. “If you don’t know, that’s fine. Just wanted to know where I should be sending my coded transmissions.”
There had been a few weeks after Crait, knocking around the Falcon and trying not to step on everyone’s toes, that Finn hadn’t managed to see Poe for more than a few minutes a day. It had taken almost a month of corridor fly-bys for him to corner Poe in what passed for his quarters.
It had been a difficult night.
So Finn was honestly just hoping to get some way of checking in with his best friend when he inevitably jetted off to planet or planets unknown.
What he got was a look he couldn’t figure out. It reminded him a little bit of the moment Poe saw him on the runway, all the way back on D’Qar.
“I’ve had a really great idea,” said Poe. He squeezed Finn’s fingers again, almost to the point of pain. “How about you choose somewhere, and I’ll just… come with you. Be your guide to the culture of the outer rim.”
“You really mean that?” Finn asked. He liked the idea, though. He liked it a lot.
Poe shrugged. “Saves me the effort of planning a vacation.”
“I’ll think about it,” said Finn. “I mean, where to go. Obviously I want you to come with me.”
He could make fun of Poe all he wanted, but it wasn’t like he’d thought that much about where he’d end up either, after the war ended. Thinking about it ending at all had seemed impossible for months now, hauling the Falcon from dead end to dead end, trying desperately to find new allies to bolster their swiftly dwindling fleet.
There was one place he’d like to go, but he’d have to find it first. Kind of a big ask for a vacation.
Poe blinked. “Huh. Thanks, buddy. That, uh, that means a lot.”
Finn grinned at him. Poe looked a little moonstruck, eyes wide. “You’re stuck with me, General. Better get used to it.”
FN-2187 was issued his first blaster the day he finally completed the base’s first standardised assault course. He’d spent weeks working on his stamina, getting faster and stronger until it was just enough to pass over the final climbing wall and grab the red flag that proved his victory.
Phasma, recently promoted and newly designated, had rested one gauntlet on the top of his head for just a moment. “Good work, recruit.”
FN didn’t remember being recruited. He didn’t remember much of anything, really. It felt like he’d lived in the barracks his whole life, since before he could even talk. He’d been such a baby back then. It was a good thing he was grown up now, with his own blaster and a bunk he didn’t have to share with anybody.
The weight of the blaster felt odd in his hands. He could just about reach around the grip with one hand, his thumb and forefinger almost touching. It felt cold to the touch, but he guessed that his gauntlets would help with that, when he got them.
Sometimes, when he looked out of the viewfinder on the back wall of the barracks and saw the stars, he felt a big yawning emptiness in his chest. It made him uncomfortable, and that made his superiors notice, and that was bad. So he tried not to look so much, and ignore the smaller empty feeling that followed him around most days.
The faint memory of a hand against his forehead was just something he’d dreamed. Just like the sight of stars on a distant horizon, stretched out above a deep emerald sea.
It would be a few more years before he found out Stormtroopers shouldn’t be dreaming at all.
Finn did go to the medic in the end. Apparently he had lasting nerve damage, which was kind of like telling him the planet was a sphere, but at least he got some more bacta strips out of it.
Poe did not appreciate his blasé reaction, but Finn wasn’t surprised by that either. Poe spent a lot of time worrying about Finn when he should be worrying about himself.
“I’m just saying, you only get one set of toes,” said Poe, as they wound their way through a maze of tents and cargo crates. He was two steps behind Finn, carrying one last bag of essentials for their trip. “And who knows what might happen to them when you can’t even feel them half the time?”
“I can do without a couple toes,” said Finn, reasonably. “Didn’t you say Zorii has a cybernetic leg?”
“I don’t think they do those one toe at a time, buddy,” said Poe. “That’s not what paying in instalments means.” He was smiling when Finn checked, though, so that was alright.
They reached the Falcon while the sun was still low on the horizon, early enough that there were only a few other resistance members up and awake.
Finn paused at the ramp, turning on his heel to look out over the camp. He hadn’t had much of a chance to call it home, really, with all the time he’d spent on missions, but he’d liked it.
Poe caught up with him and put a hand on his elbow. “You alright?” He asked, voice clear and quiet.
“Yeah,” said Finn. “Yeah, I’m good. Just taking it all in.” There was something about the sight of the sea, just visible beyond the jungle that surrounded the base, that felt familiar.
“Didn’t get enough of it the past couple weeks? I figured you’d be aching for a chance to look at something other than this ugly mug.” Poe grinned at him, sly. It was getting a little more commonplace, as time went by.
Finn liked it. “Don’t flatter yourself,” he said. “Come on, let’s get going. D-0 is gonna talk our ears off the whole time, we might as well get strapped in early.”
“I still can’t believe BB-8 made this a two-droid family,” said Poe. “Didn’t even consult me, just went out to the wild and adopted his own best friend.”
“He had a good example,” Finn pointed out. “If Lor San Tekka hadn’t called you out to Jakku, we’d never have met.”
He regretted the words instantly, when he saw the look on Poe’s face. Jakku wasn’t such a sore subject for either of them, now that they’d been to a few more desert planets and added a few of them to their no-fly list. But Lor San Tekka —
Poe silently pushed past him into the belly of the ship. Finn followed him, guilt already pooling in his stomach.
The Falcon was fully packed, now, cargo bay stocked with enough rations for a few weeks of spaceflight and enough creds to restock on any inhabited planets they happened to land on. Finn made his way past a small crate of data crystals and walked into the cockpit, boots clanging loudly against the metal grated floor. Poe was sat in the pilot’s chair, doing last minute flight checks and, to Finn’s eye, trying very hard to look more interested than he actually was.
“Alright then,” Finn said, resting his chin on the headrest. He could mostly see Poe’s hair from this angle, familiar dark brown curls with streaks of premature grey. “Don’t acknowledge the beauty of our friendship. See if I care.”
Poe sighed, shoulders sagging. “Sorry, buddy. Just took me out of the moment for a second. I’ll get these checks done, then I’ll sing your praises all day.”
Finn shook his head, wanting desperately to take Poe’s hand. He didn’t know if Poe would accept it, this time. “No need, Poe. I’m sorry for bringing it up.”
“So,” said Poe, after an excruciatingly long pause. The control board lights flicked on and off, never settling into a particular pattern. “You ever gonna tell me where we’re going? I love a surprise as much as the next guy, but I do need some coordinates for the nav system to actually function.”
“Takodana,” said Finn, easily. Maz’s castle might be gone, along with probably a thousand years of personal history and a whole lot of booze, but there was still plenty of life on the planet. “I’ve got something I need to do before we can go further than that.”
“Good thing there’s a refuelling station there then,” said Poe. He glanced up at Finn, eyes dark in the dim light of the cockpit. “Maybe we could find some of Maz’s stuff. Get in her good books.”
“I’m already there, man,” said Finn. He grabbed Poe’s shoulder, just for a second, before resting his arms along the seat back. “It’s not my fault you keep on opening your big mouth.”
Poe huffed. “I’m hurt. My mouth is a totally normal size.”
Finn, who had spent a truly unfortunate amount of time thinking about Poe’s mouth, decided to keep his own shut on the topic. He looked up and out of the canopy, across the distant jungle.
BB-8 bumped into his legs and beeped in annoyance.
Finn looked down. “Don’t blame me for your own mistakes, kid. That path leads nowhere good.” He patted the droid on the casing anyway, feeling stupidly fond.
“Hey, don’t talk to my son like that,” said Poe. He turned bodily in the chair, pulling against the pilot’s harness, just so he could reach out and run a hand over BB-8’s casing himself, smiling softly.
Finn looked away. “I’ll go strap in, then?”
“Yeah,” said Poe, still focused on his droid. “Make sure D-0’s alright, too? He’s still jumpy about hyperspace. Can’t imagine why.”
“After that little dip into your shady past I’m still jumpy about hyperspace,” said Finn. “Can’t blame a droid for being logical.”
Poe rolled his eyes and settled back into his seat, reaching up to flick a few switches. “Strap in, General Finn. Get some rest.”
“See you in a couple hours, Poe,” said Finn. “Don’t shake us up too much.”
The Falcon wasn’t a huge ship, but Finn still found himself getting turned around among identical corridors. He’d heard that had been a problem for a few hundred years, but barring some serious remodification he figured he’d just have to get used to it.
Luckily, he didn’t have far to go this time. He turned towards the central bay and slid onto a bench against the bulkhead, resting his head back against the cool metal.
D-0 raced over, his wheel making a pleasant clicking noise against the grating. “Finn!” He cooed, synthesised voice sounding as chipper as it ever did. He barely stuttered at all anymore.
“Hey, Dio,” said Finn. He rested one hand on D-0’s cone and smiled as he clicked back and forth a little in excitement. “You ready for our trip?”
He dissolved into beeps at that. Finn patted him a few times before drawing back and reaching for the buckles behind him.
The passenger harnesses were very uncomfortable, even with some non-regulation padding added and a parka repurposed as a seat cushion. Finn buckled himself in, D-0 bracketed between his knees, and tried not to think about what his contact on Takodana had meant when she said she had ‘something you need to see’.
The last time he’d seen her, six months before, she’d given them a data crystal with the origin data of sixteen stormtrooper legions. Planet designations, coordinates and even grid references for specific continents.
None of them had been an FN unit. But Finn had wondered, and so had his contact, and now — this message. It was the kind of thing that would’ve kept him up at night, if he didn’t already have a laundry list of other things to lie awake over.
It was a six hour trip to Takodana. Finn felt every single second.