Chapter Text
“I can’t believe I’m going to be single forever!” Jimin groans, dropping his head on the table.
He looks upset, the corners of his lips pointing downwards, a frown between his eyebrows. If Taehyung didn’t know any better, the sight of Jimin like this would worry him. He would probably think something bad had happened. But he does know better, and the pout slowly forming on Jimin’s lips makes it more than obvious; he’s just about to whine.
Taehyung sighs, rolling his eyes. “What happened now?”
They’re sitting at their usual lunch table, just the two of them, and almost all of their conversations lately have been going like this, so Taehyung doesn’t even bother to look up, taking his sandwich from Jimin’s tray.
Jimin lifts his head again, definitely pouting now. “Jieun got asked out today.”
Taehyung raises his eyebrows, waiting for him to elaborate while unwrapping the sandwich. It’s turkey, his favorite. Jimin always makes sure to get that one for him.
“She got asked out in fucking math class. That Bogum guy was passing her little notes. And because I sit right behind her, I could read them all. You should have seen it, it was like a fucking teenage rom-com. Jieun wasn’t even paying attention in class, and she always does! I know that because she lets me borrow her notes since I can’t read the board well. Whose notes am I going to borrow now, Taehyung? And fucking Bogum kept giggling to himself, his cheeks all red and stuff. It was the worst. I was about to explode,” he rants exasperated, rubbing his temples.
This does make Taehyung stop. “I didn’t even know you liked Jieun,” he says, tilting his head slightly. “Also, you could just get glasses, just saying.”
Normally, Jimin tells him everything. He knows all about the crushes Jimin had and has. But he isn’t really surprised. Jieun is practically one of the prettiest girls at school.
Still, he can’t really picture him with someone like her. Or anyone from their school, for that matter.
Jimin glares at him. “I don’t.”
“Then what is the problem here…?”
“It’s just-“ Jimin starts, his voice whiny. “It’s like everyone around me is dating somebody. Like everyone’s having their sweet high school romance, but me.”
Taehyung can’t help but laugh a little, earning another glare from Jimin. “But Jimin, junior year literally just started a few weeks ago.”
“That doesn’t matter,” Jimin retorts, resting his face in his palms and sighing. “It’s just unfair. How the fuck can everyone be in love, and not one single soul is crushing on me?! Like not one, Taehyung! Not one.”
Now, that wasn’t entirely true. Well, mostly, but not entirely. Jimin wasn’t ugly or an asshole or anything. He was actually pretty handsome (objectively speaking), nice and charming. It was just that in the past, Jimin had rejected every girl that showed any type of interest in him because, according to him, it didn’t feel right. Or because he wanted to focus on school. Or because he felt like they were using him since he was kind of popular, especially in freshman and sophomore year.
After a while, people started to realize it wasn’t even worth trying, and Jimin’s hype kinda fell off.
“Even you got that one girl from your physics class all over you, and you use 3-in-1 shampoo!”
“Hey, that’s really practical!” Taehyung defends, flushing. “And she’s not all over me. She just... thought I was cute and said we should hang out sometime.”
“See, that’s exactly what I mean. No one thinks I’m cute.”
Now Jimin sounds rather sad than whiny, and Taehyung really hates seeing him like this. It’s not even true.
“I think you’re cute,” Taehyung shrugs, ignoring the weird feeling creeping up on him when he thinks about it for a second too long. “And you know you are. It’s just high school. It’s stupid. Everyone’s stupid and doesn’t know how to actually appreciate things. Just wait for college, you’re going to have all the girls all over you .”
“But I don’t want to wait for college! I want it now, Tae. I want it all. I want the cute prom date and cute notes in our lockers, I wanna hold hands while walking through the hallways and ice cream dates after school. I want her cheering for me when I have a game and sneaking out late just to do stupid, teenage shit. I want it so bad. And I’m in my junior year, so if I don’t get it now, I’ll never have my own teenage-romance-movie-experience!”
Taehyung stares at him. He doesn’t really get it. He has known Jimin since middle school, and he always knew Jimin was way more of a romantic than him. Taehyung doesn’t really care about all that stuff. Yes, he thought about having a girlfriend sometimes. He thought about cute girls when he’d get off in the shower and wondered what it would feel like to have someone do it for him.
But he didn’t live in this fucking movie Jimin had and always did have in his head, about what the ultimate high school experience should be like. He likes to say, he just lives in the moment. What happens just happens. He isn‘t going to pursue some cheesy fantasy if it probably doesn‘t play out well in the end.
Besides, despite what Jimin says, Taehyung isn’t really that good with girls.
(and it’s totally not because of the 3-in-1 shampoo)
He knew he had some sort of effect on them. Taehyung isn’t really that ugly or an asshole either (which doesn't seem like a great accomplishment but apparently for some girls it’s enough to be considered a good guy), but instead, he’s awkward as fuck, a self-proclaimed nerd and a little bit dense with things he should have knowledge about by now.
It’s the sole reason why he still hasn’t met up with Wheein, though he really wants to. He just doesn’t want to embarrass himself, even if she'll just probably find it cute again and pinches his cheeks or something. Like she did when he accidentally dropped all of his stuff right in front of her feet and managed to stutter out the most miserable apology.
But he doesn’t want to be that guy. The one, girls just want to be with because they know he’s too awkward or polite to ever cheat on them. The one they just find cute and clumsy.
The nice guy.
He wants to be the guy they fantasize about, lust after. He wants to walk around confidently, flirt, and make their heads spin.
He isn’t cheesy. He isn’t like Jimin.
“I-,” he starts, not really sure what to say.
Jimin huffs, annoyance slowly showing on his face.
“You wouldn’t get it anyways,” he just says and starts eating his lunch.
Taehyung wants to say something, anything, really. But what could he say? Jimin and he obviously had different ideas of how high school should work. While he just wants to get over with classes, homework, and exams to finally graduate, move out, go to college and actually start a life, Jimin wants to live it all now. Like this is what life is all about. Fucking high school.
Taehyung ends up saying nothing because he has a track record of saying the wrong things at the wrong time, and today Jimin seems more sensitive and mad about the whole thing than usual. So they eat in silence, with Jimin mostly just stabbing his rice with his chopsticks, and Taehyung trying to avoid slurping too loud on his drink because he feels like anything could trigger him.
Taehyung forgets all about it by the next week.
It’s September, and school has just started, but their teachers already feel the need to bombard them with projects and homework, and he really needs to try and not fail algebra this year.
Jimin doesn’t mention it again either until they’re walking through the hallways, and they hear a high-pitched squeak, and basically, all heads turn.
It’s that one girl from literature class whose name he still doesn’t know, even after all the stupid introduction games they had to go through with.
She’s jumping up and down by her locker, squeaking and grinning brightly. There’s a guy in front of her, kneeling and wait- he knows him too. Chan... something. As they get closer, it becomes more obvious why that girl is so excited. The guy is holding a promise ring (at least he hopes that’s what it is) in his hand, smiling widely. It looks like a fucking proposal.
He groans mentally. There always has to be that one couple that just has to make everything over the top. It looks fucking stupid.
The girl nods eagerly, dragging the guy into a way too intimate hug and her friends start cheering around them. He wonders how long they have been dating. Probably just a few weeks.
Just as he is about to express his thoughts to Jimin next to him, he sees the weird expression on his face. He has that look again. That one from a week ago, when they were having lunch.
His eyes look big and longing, and he’s pouting.
When he notices Taehyung's eyes on him, his expression rapidly changes, almost like he's embarrassed to be caught, and he looks down. They continue walking to their lockers, and Taehyung should just shut up, but he knows his best friend too well, and he knows Jimin is beating himself up over this.
Jimin puts his books silently into his locker without even glancing at Taehyung, even though, their lockers are right next to each other and have been since middle school.
Taehyung closes his locker, leaning against it. “Jimin,” he starts, and Jimin finally looks at him, his bottom lip jutting out a little.
“You need to stop thinking about it. All that romance shit- it’s fucking stupid. It’s not real life, and it’s especially not high school. You’re just making yourself upset over it. Believe me, it’s not worth it. I’ll bet you 5000 won they’re going to break up next week.”
Jimin's eyes narrow, and for a second, Taehyung actually feels like an asshole.
He just can’t shut up. He should have. Honesty isn’t always welcomed, and considering the way Jimin is looking at him, it definitely wasn’t.
He looks like he’s about to start a fight, but then he just turns around, smashing his locker close with way more force than necessary, and glares at him.
“Right. Guess I’m just fucking stupid then.”
Damn.
“What- wait, Jimin, no!” Taehyung sputters, but Jimin is already storming off, and he’s not going to run after him like they’re in some fucking rom-com movie.
Jimin can be so dramatic sometimes, it makes Taehyung’s blood coil. But then again, this one, he probably deserved it.
Taehyung knows Jimin too well. Hell, he probably knows Jimin better than himself.
He knows how Jimin likes his coffee from Starbucks, how he prefers blueberry muffins over chocolate, how he likes pineapple on pizza (and they argue about it every time), how he likes alcohol probably a little more than he should as a junior and how Taehyung despises it, so Jimin never drinks too much in front of him. He knows how Jimin loves dance and music, but he hates to do it in front of people (even Taehyung sometimes), so he just plays sports in school instead. The good thing is, he likes that too.
Taehyung knows that his favorite movie is 10 Things I Hate About You, but he always denies it and says it’s Pulp Fiction.
He knows who Jimin’s first kiss was, in eighth grade and who his last kiss was at that summer house-party, a few months ago.
He knows what Jimin looks like when he’s sad, crying, laughing, happy, concerned.
He knows it all, and he prides himself on it.
Ever since Jimin’s family moved to Daegu, in their first year of middle school, Taehyung made it his number one mission to figure out all about the boy and become best friends. And he can confidently say that Jimin is the best, nicest, most humble, and caring person he’s ever met and will probably ever meet.
Still, he can admit they don’t agree on everything and bicker way too much, but that doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day, Jimin is still his best friend, and he wouldn’t know what to do without him.
It's why Jimin is currently lying on his bed, head hanging down over the edge while Taehyung spins in his chair. Because stupid disagreements aren’t ever going to stop them from hanging out together almost every afternoon, even if it's just to do nothing.
Taehyung hums some tune that’s been stuck in his head all day and watches Jimin’s hand swaying in the air to it, every time he catches a sight while spinning.
He likes afternoons like these too. They don’t always have to do something. He likes the company and Jimin is the best company he could ask for.
“What did you say to her anyway?” Jimin suddenly asks, eyes on him and Taehyung stops spinning.
“What do you mean?” He frowns confused.
“To that girl from your class.” Jimin sits up. “The one that thinks you’re cute.”
“Ah.” Taehyung blushes slightly. “Nothing. I was too shocked, and she just laughed and walked away. Maybe she wasn’t even serious.” He scratches his head awkwardly.
Jimin rolls his eyes.
“Yes, she was. She greets you every time we pass her in the hallways. And she always has that look on her face. Like she wants to coo at you,” he muses, lips quirking up.
“Yeah, well, I don’t want to be cooed at,” Taehyung responds, crossing his arms.
Jimin sighs. “You don’t even appreciate what you have.”
And what is that exactly? he wants to ask. Just because some girl finds him cute doesn’t mean he’s going to have the full ‘Jimin high school experience’. It’s probably not going to work in the long run anyway because he and Jimin have been planning to go to Seoul after graduating since forever, and he can’t expect his girlfriend to just move with him. It would be a relationship with an expiration date. If it ever gets there in the first place.
But instead, he just asks: “Why is this all so important to you?” and he intends for it to sound a little mocking, but finds that his voice comes out curious.
Jimin chews on his bottom lip and starts fiddling nervously with his fingers. It’s a habit he’s always had, and Taehyung can tell right away he’s about to get all serious.
He waits for a while, trying not to push because it would risk Jimin getting upset again, but the longer Jimin draws it out, the more curious he gets.
Maybe he doesn’t know everything.
“It’s just…,” Jimin starts and sighs. It’s like he finds it stupid himself and won’t admit it. “I don’t know, okay? I guess I’m getting all 'old people' over it and want to enjoy my teenage years. I don’t know what happens after high school, and from what I’ve heard it doesn’t sound all too great. Life gets serious, and people become mean, and I just want to live it all now, so I won’t have to look back in twenty, thirty years, unhappy, mourning my teenage years because I never appreciated them.”
He looks stressed over it, a little crease forming between his eyebrows. “I mean if I don’t do it now, when? It won’t look cute in ten years, I mean some think all that cheesy shit doesn’t even look cute now. I just refuse to live boring high school years and not make any memories at all. Not having experienced anything I can look back at in a couple of years or whenever life sucks. I know, you think it’s not realistic, but I just have to believe that it can be just like the movies. I mean, it has to, right? Where else would they get all those ideas from? I don’t know Tae… I just can’t stop thinking about it,” he finishes quietly, and he sounds so sad. Taehyung hates it.
“But you have me,” he says, frowning. “We can make memories together and look back at them when we’re old and crusty.”
Jimin smiles a little, lying back down again, this time on Taehyung’s pillow. Taehyung stands up to join him. Jimin makes more space for him until they’re both side to side, shoulders almost touching, staring up at the ceiling in silence.
“It’s not the same, Tae,” Jimin mumbles after a while.
And Taehyung knows. Of course, it’s not the same.
Still, he squeezes Jimin’s hand because even if he can’t give him everything, all Taehyung ever wants is to see him happy, and that’s when he decides that he’s going to do everything in his power to make it happen.
In his defense, Taehyung never once claimed to be an expert in all this. He did, however, claim that he has the best ideas ever, and Jimin shuts him down every time, but that never discourages him.
So, when he had this amazing epiphany earlier, he really thinks it a great idea. It just makes perfect sense.
Jimin is fed up over no one liking him, and everyone getting some but him, so he’ll just pretend to like him. Because, obviously, Taehyung couldn’t ever actually like him like that, but he can pretend for the sake of his best friend's happiness.
And what’s better than writing him an anonymous note? Nothing. It’s a Great Idea.
He’ll be his secret admirer, and Jimin will stop moping and start focusing on real-life issues. Everyone ends up winning.
Which is exactly why he is hunched over his desk right now, two days after their conversation in his room, a little baby blue note in front of him, and a pen in his hand.
He’s going to do this.
There are probably a hundred things he could say about Jimin, but they all feel too superficial and not personal at all, and Taehyung notices how he never really paid attention to Jimin.
Not like his personality or the things he likes, but the little things people in the movies get so worked up over. It’s just Jimin, his best friend. They went through puberty together. What else is there to say?
It'll also probably be better if he starts easy, maybe without giving too much away because he doesn’t need Jimin to figure out it’s him right away. So, he makes it simple:
Your ass looks great in those pants.
Perfect, right? Plus, it’s true because they talked about it once when he complained about how his ass only looks great in tight pants, and Jimin’s looks great in any type of pants. It’s so unfair.
A girl would say that, right? Yeah, totally.
He makes his handwriting especially neat and delicate like a girl would (huh, stereotypes) because Jimin knows his like the back of his own hand, and he’s trying to be discreet.
Taehyung looks at it and feels satisfied.
He can already see the shy smile on Jimin’s face, and his excitement over finally getting a note slipped into his locker. Somehow, it makes him feel all bubbly and excited inside too, and Taehyung might be a little more of a romantic than he likes to admit.