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Tomioka needs something in his arms to fall asleep.
It doesn’t have to be a person, it’s never been, in fact. He just something that will make him feel the slightest bit of warmth.
Call it pathetic, but he can’t fall asleep without the feeling of holding or being held, he usually would fall asleep with his sword in his arms, or his haori, if he felt a need to think about his lost sister and best friend even more than usual.
When he falls asleep with his haori in his arms, he feels like his sister is there, like Sabito is there. It may be delusional, but he wants to allow himself to fall asleep to a fake reality for just a little while, as he’ll usually wake up huffing and out of breath due to a nightmare about their deaths.
Tonight was different.
“Out of everyone I could’ve of been paired up with, of course, it had to be with this asshole!” Sanemi said out loud, distancing himself as far away from Giyuu as he could.
“If you’re going to pair pillars up, pair up the ones who don’t hate each other.” He continued.
Hated? Giyuu knew Sanemi wasn’t the biggest fan of him, but Giyuu himself didn’t hate Sanemi in the slighest. He was bold and arrogant, strong in a way that made him seem cool. Giyuu wanted to befriend the other pillar in fact, but every time he tried to talk to him, he was met with a haughty replied. It was probably his fault though, being someone who has never been good with his words, he’s somewhat aware that the way he acts in a way as if he’s different is the main reason Sanemi doesn’t like him at all.
Giyuu wants to at least try though, so he speeds up to meet Sanemi’s pace, hoping for them to walk together.
“We have to stick together,” Giyuu says more monotone than he had hoped.
“Fuck sticking together, you’re too close to me, asshole,” Sanemi replied, glaring at the pillar a bit too close to his side.
But despite his words, he doesn’t try to walk slower or faster than Giyuu. For something so small to make Giyuu so happy, he must be a sad man.
He’s okay with it though, and it doesn’t stop the fluttering feeling in his chest.
Children were starting to disappear at an alarming rate during the night, hence the reason the two pillars were sent to eliminate the demon causing the trouble.
It didn’t take long for the two to do away with the demon, it was a weaker demon, strength not even on par with a former lower moon. Still strong enough to kill a number of lower-ranked demon slayers, however.
After they got rid of the demon, they were met with an inn for the two to stay in until dayrise.
There was a single room, with clothing, food, and two futons for them to sleep on.
Ah. Giyuu thinks to himself, he’s going to have to sleep in the same room as..
He glances at Sanemi’s side, who seems to be just as distraught at the thought of even sleeping in the same room as Giyuu.
“I-”
“My side, your side,” Sanemi growls before Giyuu can even finish what he was about to say. Silently, Giyuu nods in agreement.
After two change into cleaner clothes and eat, they turn off the lights and go to bed, without a word.
30 minutes pass, then an hour, then two.
Just why do I have to be stuck with this stupid bastard? Sanemi begins to think to himself. Giyuu is way too quiet and the silence is actually killing him, and he may or may not be fighting the urge to throw a pillow at Giyuu or some shit just to fuck with him, just for a reaction, something.
However, he assumes Giyuu is asleep and decides to give him his peace. He could have been paired with Uzui, or even Kochou, but instead he’s sharing a room with Giyuu Tomioka.
Sanemi doesn’t like Giyuu, not one bit. From the start, the guy has given off the vibe that he doesn’t want to associate with anyone, that he doesn’t take his position of being a pillar seriously. Giyuu always acted like he was hot shit in Sanemi’s eyes, the way he talked about being different as if he wasn’t standing alongside the strongest demon slayers, like he was looking down on everyone else.
Sanemi absolutely hated it, he hated Giyuu’s silence, he hated the way nothing seemed to phase Giyuu, hated his lack of personality, sometimes he just wanted to beat the daylights out of----
I miss my sister. Giyuu beings to think.
He didn’t want to sleep with his haori or his sword in fear of his coworker thinking it was weird, despite the fact Sanemi hasn’t looked at Giyuu’s direction even once.
Giyuu misses Tsutako, and he misses Sabito. He wishes things could be different, that instead of them, it was him. He misses their warmth, the feeling of Tsutako pampering him whenever he did something right. The feeling of Sabito being there, even if he was scolding him for his former cowardly nature, Sabito was there for him no matter what.
Sabito and Tsutako would’ve done anything to keep Giyuu happy, and Giyuu felt the same way, but now they’re gone.
Staring at Sanemi’s back, his head starts to spiral, and his vision becomes hazy. If only he could feel them one more time if only he could connect with someone again. Giyuu hated himself then and he hates himself now, no matter what he does, no matter how much he changes, he’ll never be satisfied with himself, nothing he does will ever be good enough. If Sabito were alive he would’ve been able to do everything Giyuu is doing, but better. If Sabito were alive…
He stretches his hand out and reaches to Sanemi’s back.
I want to feel you.
Does Giyuu have a death wish? probably, definitely actually. Despite his rational side telling him to just suck it up, his hand doesn’t stop traveling.
Then it happens.
He wraps his arms around Sanemi from behind, and feels the latter jolt a bit in shock.
No one says anything for what feels like forever, Sanemi is processing what just happened, whose arms he’s feeling around him, and Giyuu just feels lost, overwhelmed by the sudden warmth.
“Tomiok-”
“Please.” Giyuu begins, “Don’t say anything. I feel like I’m going to go crazy if I don’t do this so just, just let me stay like this for tonight.
“...”
It’s silent for a bit, and neither Sanemi nor Giyuu have been able to go to sleep, or calm down even.
It’s been a while since Giyuu has felt so safe, so warm. A human body feels safer than a sword, or a piece of clothing after all.
He’s about to lose himself in a train of thought until Sanemi turns to face Giyuu.
“Shinazuga-sa-” Giyuu blurts out, he must have gotten tired of it, Sanemi hates Giyuu after all, it’s a given.
But instead, Sanemi wraps his arms around Giyuu’s body, face planted at his neck.
He’s embarrassed. Cute. Sanemi thinks, despite being quite embarrassed himself.
“It’s okay, just shut up and go to sleep,” Sanemi grumbles, holding Giyuu a little closer.
“..warm.”
“What?”
“Shinazugawa is warm,” Giyuu says without a second thought, lack of tact causing both of them to find themselves even more embarrassed than before.
Giyuu isn’t lying though, Sanemi’s embrace is strong and secure, and he can’t stop himself from taking in his scent. How strange it is, that he’s not thinking about Tsutako, and Sabito in his place, just Sanemi, and Sanemi only. He feels different.
“Shinazugawa”
“Hm?”
“I don’t hate you, rather, I..”
“Being in love feels like, bwah! bang! jajaj jan!! twaa!!! Like you wouldn’t rather be anywhere in the world other than your loved one’s side, you wish time would stop forever. It’s warm and fuzzy, and you don’t think about anyone else but them, it’s..”
Giyuu fades into sleep, while thinking about Kanroji’s words.
Sanemi isn’t sure what he should think of the man in his arms anymore.
The stuck up asshole who wanted nothing to do with any of comrades embraced Sanemi from behind because he had no one else. On top of that, called him warm, what happened to hating him as much as Sanemi hated Giyuu? Oh right, Giyuu just proclaimed that he didn’t hate him, and before saying anything else, fell asleep, and maybe Sanemi doesn't hate Giyuu as much as he thinks he does anyway, he doesn't fucking know.
He stares at the pillar in his arm, sleeping peacefully, and it honestly gives Sanemi an urge to smile.
I won’t think about it too hard, at least not right now. He thinks to himself
“....”
“....”
He plants a small kiss on Giyuu’s forehead before deciding it’s time for him to sleep as well, and the two peacefully sleep the night away.