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IT Fandom Secret Santa 2019
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Published:
2019-12-30
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2,204
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1/1
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3
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42
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A Tale As Old As However Long These Losers Have Been Alive

Summary:

The Losers, but make it Beauty and the Beast and make it funny. That's it that's the fic.

Notes:

This is for the Secret Santa hosted by itfandomprompts on tumblr, and it is very very late. I blame life for getting in the way (as well as my broken laptop). But here it is; hopefully it's cute enough to make up for the aforementioned lateness lol.

To my giftee, certifiedboyf: I hope you like it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“You know, at this point we really could just knock.”

 

Richie scoffed. “The little prince would never let us in and you know it.”

 

Stan shivered, though it did nothing to lessen his glare. “You’re being deliberately obtuse; just admit this is some weird, I don’t know, emotional foreplay or something and fucking knock so we don’t freeze to death trying to climb in through a window.”

 

The red on Richie’s face from the chill in the air intensified with his blush. “We’ve already done the ‘sneaking in through the windows’ thing, Staniel, he’d be expecting that.” 

 

Nevertheless, Richie did as he was told, and knocked.

 


 

If you had asked Bev, Richie, or Stan what they would be doing that winter, any answer they would have given would have been tremendously wrong.

 

They couldn’t be blamed for that, though, considering that their winter activities involved a beastly prince living in an isolated castle with servants that had all been turned into household furniture and supplies. Not to mention a mother the three had never seen but had heard enough about to know that they should hope they never crossed her.

 

The beastly prince in question - Eddie - hadn’t started out a beast. He had been a normal human boy who happened to have an abusive mother who made him believe he was sick for the first thirteen years of his life. When he had discovered the truth and tried to escape, his mother had cursed him and everyone in the castle, just to make sure he could never forge a life outside the castle and outside her reach. The only cure was true love’s kiss, administered by a woman before Eddie’s 21st birthday.

 

This last part, Eddie kept hidden from Bev, Richie, and Stan. As far as they knew, the curse couldn’t be broken, and seeing as Eddie was gay and unwilling to string a woman along, he too, considered the curse unbreakable.

 

Even so, his mother, though unseen, could have been watching at any moment. So when Bev and Richie had come looking for a trespassing Stan, and Eddie had cut them a deal wherein one of them had to remain in his castle until the hostage had gained his trust, and Bev had volunteered - well. He wasn’t so heartless as to make her stay in the cells for her entire stay, and if he happened to appeal to his mother’s sympathetic nature by seemingly trying to break the curse, then it was all for the better.

 

(Eddie had too much faith in his mother. No way would Sonia Kaspbrak let just any brat break the curse on her son. She had controlled him for thirteen years of his life through pure psychology, and had controlled him for almost eight more through a curse. She was certain she could control his love life as well.)

 

What Eddie hadn’t foreseen was that Bev was actually very good company and had suffered through an abusive childhood herself. He had thought that they would maybe have a few awkward dinners and stilted conversation - things that would prove whether or not she was a nice person who could keep her mouth - and her friends’ mouths - shut about the monster prince in a castle filled with riches. What he got was a friend who was gradually becoming more and more like a sister to him.

 

And that was just Bev. Richie and Stan were another matter.

 

The unspoken agreement had been that Richie and Stan would leave well enough alone and stay in their village, awaiting Bev’s return. Richie, however, decided that unspoken actually meant loophole, and so he cajoled (read: mentioned his plan once sort of pleadingly while Stan played at reluctance) Stan into sneaking into the castle with him every week.

 

They were caught and kicked out every time, though not before they ran around with Bev for a while.

 

Bev was more and more amused by it every time it happened, and though he'd never admit it, Eddie was too. 

 

(He didn't need to say it verbally anyway; his face, though hard to read due to his "furry little problem," revealed everything he felt.)

 

It came as a surprise to no one then, that each week they were kicked out later and later, no matter how early in the day they were caught.

 


 

Bev was the one who opened the door, smirk on her face. "So you got him to admit that he l-"

 

Stan shot her a warning look, and she quickly changed what she was about to say.

 

"-lllike, should get over himself and come visiting like a normal person?"

 

Stan snorted. "Something like that."

 

Richie looked between them suspiciously. "For once, I don't want to know."

 

Stan coughed out an unsubtle "Figures," and Richie glared.

 

"Sleep with one eye open tonight, Uris." With that, he walked into the castle, as comfortable as if it were his own house. "Eds, I know you heard us knocking! Where are you?"

 

A growl sounded out from the shadows. Whereas a few months ago, this would have sent shivers of unwelcome fear down Richie's spine, now it just made the grin on his face brighter.

 

"There you are, my little snugglebug!"

 

Eddie lumbered into view, doing a full body eyeroll. "Don't call me Eds, and definitely don't call me snugglebug. I think that's the worst one yet, and I didn't think it could get worse after you called me an oversized stuffed animal! Where the fuck do you even come up with these things, Dickard?"

 

As Eddie ranted, Richie's smile turned into a smirk. It clashed with the utterly soft look in his eyes, which Eddie missed only because he was busy failing at making his little speech sound even a tiny bit angry. Stan and Bev, however, missed nothing, and gave each other long-suffering looks.

 

Bev raised her eyebrows at Stan, which he took to mean: Should we just let them tire themselves out? 

 

He looked over at Richie and Eddie, who now seemed to be discussing the merits - or lack thereof - of eating snow. He gave a short nod and then jerked his head to the right. Bev followed him as he predictably headed towards the library. Once there,  they broke down into quiet giggles.

 

“Can you believe them?” Bev asked.

 

“You ask me that every time, and my answer never changes.”

 

“You only believe it because you know Richie’s a dumbass and he’d only attract other dumbasses?”

 

“Exactly.” This prompted a fresh round of giggles, which only stopped because a large history book, a quill, and a lamp came bounding up to them. 

 

“Are you laughing about Richie and Eddie again?” the lamp, otherwise known as Ben, asked.

 

Bev nodded enthusiastically and without shame. Ben sighed but couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

 

“Don’t be so hard on the -”

 

“B-but what if they r-really, really deserve to be given a hard time?” If he could blush in this form, then Bill the quill would have once he heard his accidental innuendo. As it was, he valiantly pretended he hadn’t heard it, though he doubted he was fooling anyone. (He was right to be doubtful.)

 

Mike shrugged as best he could. Since he was a book, it looked like a slight flap of his pages. The rest of them understood the gesture anyway. “They’ll get there eventually.” He paused. “I hope.”

 

Stan snorted. “If you say so, Michael.” The tone of finality had them all turning to other topics of conversation, and pretty soon Bev was teasing Ben about how she had overheard him reciting the last line of a love poem for his secret crush (the line was My heart burns there too, and the crush was an oblivious but receptive Bev), while Stan, Mike, and Bill struggled to keep how enchanted they were with each other on the down low. 

 

Eddie and Richie finally wandered into the library over an hour later. The others glanced at them briefly and Stan said, "Finally remembered we were here, too, then?"

 

"Keep up that attitude, Stan the Man, and you won't be getting any of the rich people hot chocolate that Eds has so graciously offered us." Behind Richie, Eddie rolled his eyes but didn't disagree.

 

Bev raised an eyebrow. "Usual rules?"

 

"Rules? What rules?" Ben asked.

 

Stan chuckled. "Something like hot chocolate has to be earned." 

 

A wary look came over Eddie's face. "What do you mean?"

 

Bev's eyes widened. "Oh honey no, not like that. This is all in good fun, I promise. It's just a little game that the three of us came up with as kids." 

 

Eddie's whole stance relaxed at her words. He ignored Richie and Stan's questioning looks and said, "Alright then. What are the usual rules?"

 


 

"So basically you try to kill each other with snowballs and then relax as a reward," Eddie grumbled a few hours later, hot chocolate in hand. The fire crackled in front of them.

 

"You're just mad because you lost, Eduardo, First of Your Name -"

 

"That's not my name -"

 

"- and can I just say -"

 

"No -"

 

"Can I just say that I didn't think a furry face and sharp teeth on a seven foot body could make pouting look so adorable, but here we are. Must be your doe eyes."

 

The rest of them, well aware they hadn't been quite forgotten but something close it, stifled their giggles on any surface they could find. Richie batted his eyelashes, shit-eating grin on his face. Eddie flushed.

 

"Don't - I - you. Shut the fuck up, Richie, why would you even say that; I don't have fucking doe eyes, because I'm not a deer."

 

"But you're every bit as sweet as one -"

 

"And every bit of you is an ass -"

 

"You've been thinking about my ass then?"

 

"No, you're the one with an obsession with my ass."

 

Stan groaned in the background and whispered to the others, "I cannot believe they still insist they don't actually like each other. As soon as we leave, all I'm going to hear is Oh Eddie's such a dick and I can't believe he's still cooping Bev up or I'm gonna be soooo happy when Eddie lets Bev go; I can't stand seeing his stupid face anymore. As if I'm not right here having to watch that."

 

He flung a hand out toward Eddie and Richie, who were still sniping back and forth and practically cuddling on the couch they shared. It was a wonder neither of them was getting overheated, considering the warmth of the fire, Eddie's fur, and Richie's horrendous fluffy sweater.

 

Bill huffed. "Y-yeah, same here. As soon as you're g-gone, it's all" - he pitched his voice higher - "Ugh, why does he still show up, he's so annoying, it wouldn't be so bad if it was just Stan, but he's always hanging around. Like a virus."

 

They broke into a fresh round of laughter. Eddie and Richie didn't notice. Bev hummed.

 

"You know," she said slowly, speaking her new thought into existence as it developed in her mind. "They can't pretend to bitch about each other once they're apart if they're not apart in the first place."

 

"Are you saying -?"

 

"That Stan and Richie should stay the night and we should make a blanket fort here to sleep in? Yes, Mike, that's exactly what I'm saying."

 

Mike laughed. "I wasn't thinking blanket fort, but now that you mention it…" Bev squealed and Eddie and Richie turned to her, eyebrows raised. She stuck her tongue out at them. 

 

"We've decided," she announced snootily, "that everyone is going to stay here tonight." Eddie opened his mouth to protest, but Bev held up a finger. "Nope, not up for discussion. We're all friends here; it'll be fun."

 

Eddie huffed. "Since when do you make the rules in my house?"

 

"Ever since you gave me free reign of this thing that is most definitely a castle and not a mere house."

 

Eddie snorted, then sighed. "Whatever you say, Bev." Whoops and cheers followed this statement, and if Eddie had to work extra hard not to stare at Richie's excited and incandescent grin, then no one had to know.

 

(Except for how everyone sans Richie definitely knew, and were simply humoring him at this point.)

 


 

That night, one beast, three humans in sweaters with outrageous designs, and three household (castlehold?) items snuggled together in one of many castle living rooms. Sheets were expertly flung over chairs and couches, while thick, fuzzy blankets and fluffy pillows dominated the floor space.

 

In the morning, they would all wake up slowly, one by one. Eddie and Richie, who had stayed up later than the others talking until banter became sincerity became good night wishes and soft smiles, would wake up last. This would provide excellent teasing material for the other five, because they were going to wake up spooning.  To top it off, they would also sleepily snuggle further into each other's space before abruptly realizing what was going on and spring apart with heavy blushes.

 

But that was for later. Right now, it was still dark, and the fire hadn't quite died out yet. The seven of them slept peacefully. 

 

It was, in short, a perfect winter's night.

Notes:

Honestly I was going to do a full length chapter fic at first, but then I remembered time constraints and also who I am as a person. So I condensed it to this and maybe one day I will expand it to fit the outline I have sitting on my google docs