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Joel’s never been to a true Christmas dinner before and it’s… strange.
Either not realizing or not caring he’s only nineteen, someone hands him a glass of wine he immediately loses track of, watching out for Christine instead. She’s the size of a globe and has knocked into the tree twice, but she’s having a good time, so Joel doesn’t press her to leave.
Everyone else is red-faced from excessive drinking and the roaring fire overheating the room. Boisterous conversations all take place simultaneously, but no one’s actually listening to one another.
It’s all too overwhelming for Joel, but it’d have been rude not to accept the Parkers’ invitation even with Christine’s due date passed.
Finding a secluded spot where he can keep an eye on Christine, Joel finally takes a few bites of the enormous feast Edie prepared, when one of Christine’s aunts corners him.
“My niece tells me you’re musically gifted, but you didn’t join in the caroling – I noticed.”
Joel swallows the wrong way.
The older woman slaps him on the back as he clears his throat.
“Good lord, child. Didn’t anyone teach you how to eat properly?”
“I – uh.” Joel’s baffled by her remark. “I ain’t too familiar with a lot of Christmas music.”
It’s Christine’s aunt’s turn to be mystified.
“Jewish,” Joel says by way of an explanation.
Christine’s aunt blinks again, “But you had a church wedding. And the baby will be raised proper Christian.”
Clenching his jaw, Joel bites his tongue. No use explaining to her that he agreed to the ceremony to appease the Parkers or that children take their mother’s religion. She’s got nothing to worry about ruining their holiday gatherings.
Getting up, “Excuse me.”
He taps Christine on the shoulder, “Can we go?”
Reluctantly, Christine agrees.
The twinkling lights on every house might be charming if they weren’t both in sour moods.
Christine snaps first, “I was having a perfectly nice time. Why couldn’t you just ignore Aunt Beth and have a good time like everyone else?”
“Cause I ain’t willing to get baptized to feel like I belong at your family gatherings.”
“So my parents aren’t allowed to see their granddaughter for Christmas, is that it?”
“I didn’t say that,” Joel grinds his teeth.
He already told Bob and Edie he didn’t mind if the baby was raised in the church, but he never agreed to convert for Christine and he’s not about to be forced into it by any of her relatives.
Christine’s still fuming, “Then how about next year you just don’t come.”
“Fine by me.”
The conversation ends there.
When Sarah enters the world, two days later, the fight is all but forgotten.
----------
“Get your coat on,” Joel tells Sarah for the third time. “I won’t say it again.”
“I don’t wanna go to nana and pop’s! I wanna go to grammy’s with you!”
Joel sighs, lamenting the near impossible task of explaining to a not quite six-year old that he’s required by the court to let her grandparents have visitation. And if they want her for Christmas every year Joel won’t fight them. He still gets Sarah for her birthday.
Pacifying her, “We’re just going to watch boring old movies at grammy’s. Trust me, you’ll have way more fun at nana and pop’s. There’ll be sweet and presents and,” he hesitates to even mention it, “mommy will be there.”
Sarah’ s pouting quickly turns to excitement then – well, Joel doesn’t know what to call it, but she puts her coat on and lets him buckle her in.
By the time they arrive at the Parkers’, Sarah’s completely forgotten her desire to go to ma’s.
Christine meets them outside. While Joel isn’t wild about seeing her, at least he doesn’t have to go inside.
“Thanks for dropping her off.”
“It’s on my way to ma’s.”
“Right. The annual family movie night. A time-honored Christmas tradition.”
“Just another night in December,” Joel asserts.
Christine doesn’t have to understand why he’s always preferred their movie night to a big holiday party; he still doesn’t understand the appeal of being surrounded by drunken, nosey relatives. To each their own, he supposes.
With a kiss and a hug for Sarah, Joel gets back in the truck and heads off to ma’s.
He’s barely through the door when someone shouts from upstairs, “Joel? That you?”
“Yeah, ma!”
“Would you give the chili a stir? Make sure it hasn’t burned!”
The kitchen is warm and the chili wafts through the air as Joel lifts the lid. It smells like home.
“Oh good. We won’t be eating blackened chars tonight. Knew I taught you to cook for some reason,” ma appears behind him. “How are the Parkers?”
“Merry and gay,” Joel grunts.
Ma snorts. “And Sarah?”
“She put up a fuss, but she’ll be fine once they fill her with hot cocoa.”
“They’ll rot her teeth out is what they’ll do,” ma says, lighting up a cigarette.
Joel decides against pointing out to ma that smoking around Sarah doesn’t do her any good either. He’s already had enough passive aggressive conversations for one day.
Changing the subject, “Where the hell is Tommy? We oughta get this show on the road if we wanna make it through any movies tonight.”
“He’ll be along, Joel. He knows you’ve got time constraints. Been a while since we had a chance to talk. How’re you holding up?”
Growing up, ma was never one to check in with them, not even after dad left. But after Sarah and now the divorce, the more ma has opened up to him. Joel appreciates her concern and reels from her unguarded affection at the same time.
Brushing her off, “I’m fine, ma. Leave it be.”
She exhales deeply, “If you say so.”
Joel gives the chili another stir. Most of what Joel knows, he learned through ma’s example. He ain’t gonna let her down just cause the going got tough.
When Tommy finally joins them downstairs, yawning and still in his pajamas. He digs straight into the chili, without so much as acknowledging Joel.
“How’s college?”
Tommy grumbles something completely unintelligible.
“Guess that means he’s ready,” Joel rolls his eyes. “What’re we watching first?”
“I figured we’d start with Red River. We ain’t watched that one in a while.”
Joel snickers to himself. It wouldn’t be the twenty-fifth of December if ma didn’t make them watch at least one John Wayne flick along with the rest of her western collection.
----------
Tommy shows up well after the Parkers have picked up Sarah; the chili’s been simmering for a half an hour.
“Sorry, I’m late. It took me a while to find the DVD.”
“Ma had a couple dozen John Wayne movies, you could’ve grabbed any of them.”
“Yeah, but this one was her favorite.”
Tommy tosses Joel the DVD case, heading for the kitchen.
Turning it over, Joel agrees. “It sure was. Where was it?”
Mouth full, “Packed away with the other things from the house. Had to find the right box.”
“Christ, Tommy. Sarah’s got better manners than you.”
He swallows, “So we gonna watch it or not?”
Joel puts the disc in the player and settles onto the couch with the remote. “Get me a bowl, grab us a couple of beers, and we’ll get started.”
Of all her collection, True Grit was the right choice; ma probably made them watch it more than any other. Joel wasn’t too sure about upholding the tradition but listening to Mattie Ross out haggle for a pony, it almost feels like ma’s still with them.
Rooster Cogburn’s getting a tongue-lashing of his own, when Tommy muses aloud, “You think ma saw herself in Mattie Ross?”
Joel cracks open another couple of beers and passes one to Tommy. “What? A no nonsense gal who takes matters into her own hands, doesn’t sound like ma at all.”
They both snicker and click their bottles together.
It’s surprisingly fun, watching True Grit just the two of them. They boo each time Mattie or Cogburn insult Texas and whoop at every good shot. If someone walked in on them, they might think Joel and Tommy had never seen the movie before.
Joel has to piss before the big showdown, when he comes back Tommy’s on the office computer.
“Movie’s almost over,” Joel beckons him back into the living room.
“Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be right there,” Tommy waves him off.
Joel’s about to turn on his heel, when Tommy mutters, “What the shit?”
“What is it?”
“They did a remake. Just came out too.”
“What the fuck did they do that for?”
“Beats the hell out of me,” Tommy shrugs.
Joel shakes his head, “Probably not worth seeing. Come on. I wanna finish at least one movie before Sarah gets home tonight.”
The movie ends like it always does, triumphantly. Joel and Tommy have just enough time to start The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance before the doorbell rings.
Answering it, Joel’s surprised to come face to face with his ex-father-in-law, holding Sarah’s hand as she yawns.
“Hey, baby girl. Did you have a good time?” he asks, scooping her up into his arms.
She gives a small nod into his shoulder and drifts off.
Turning his attention to Bob, “Sorry, I was expecting Christine.”
Bob sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets, “She was reluctant to see you. You understand how it is.”
No, Joel really doesn’t. He wasn’t too keen to see her either, but Christine’s supposed to bear some responsibility for Sarah, not pawn their daughter off on her parents.
Thanking Bob for bringing Sarah home, Joel shuts the door.
Catching Tommy’s eye, it’s apparent he’s even more pissed than Joel. He can hardly hold his tongue in front of Sarah, “So the bitch flaked out again?”
“Save it. I’m putting her to bed.”
Sarah stirs as Joel tucks her in, “Daddy, would you sing me something?”
“Ain’t you had enough caroling for one night?”
“Uh-uh,” she shakes her head.
Joel can’t say no to her. It’s a simpler request by far than what Christine asked of Bob tonight, but Joel imagines it ain’t easy for any father to tell their daughter no.
“Alright, but you gotta shut your eyes and try to go to sleep.” Once her eyes are closed, Joel sings low, “One day you will rise and you won’t believe your eyes; you’ll wake up and see a world that is fine and free, though summer seems far away, you will find the sun one day.”
----------
“Sure you ain’t up for drinks, Texas?”
“Mighty tempting, but no. Sarah’s waiting on me.”
Joel promised he’d be home for dinner and he’s already late.
He hadn’t even planned on being out at all today but smuggling always seems to slow down during the holidays, and he and Tess have gotta take jobs when they come. Even if it is the twenty-fifth of December.
Tess nods, “Her birthday’s coming up, isn’t it? How old’s she gonna be?”
“Sixteen.” Joel doesn’t know where the time has gone.
“Charming age,” she smirks. “Well, don’t let me keep you. Next time.”
“Next time,” Joel agrees.
It’s been a dismal New England winter so far, alternating rain and snow all month; the chili aroma wafting their apartment is almost enough to make him homesick.
Dropping his gear by the door and shrugging out of his coat, Joel joins Sarah in the kitchen, still patiently stirring the pot.
“You didn’t wait for me.”
“And you didn’t keep your promise.” She hands him a bowl. “Go sit.”
Doing as he’s told, Joel has a few spoonfuls to thaw him out. Even without his help, it’s damn good – almost like ma’s.
Sarah settles down next to him with a piping hot bowl for herself and switches on the TV. “So, are we starting or ending the night with True Grit?”
Joel stops mid-bite, “Neither.”
“You wanna put it in the middle of the marathon?”
“Don’t wanna put it anywhere. There’re plenty of other John Wayne movies we can watch.”
“But you and Uncle Tommy always –”
“Tommy ain’t here,” Joel snaps.
“Fine. We’ll watch something else.”
Sarah settles on The Quiet Man. Good thing too, they needed something lighthearted to put them both in a better mood.
Maybe he was being a bit harsh, but Tommy’s still too much of a sore subject. Joining up with the Fireflies, teaching Sarah how to shoot behind his back, then running off to Wyoming – Joel has whiplash from it all.
Especially after the welcome change of the past few years; the three of them together. Joel half wonders if it was more than the distance which finally convinced the Parkers to stop insisting on seeing Sarah every holiday.
But it feels wrong to uphold their tradition without Tommy.
Not that he’s unhappy to pass the evening with Sarah; they don’t spend nearly enough time like this together anymore.
Sarah’s very nearly sixteen. Joel would be lying if he said it didn’t terrify him, she’s almost as old as he was when she was born. Course, Sarah’s not nearly as stupid as he was.
Their bowls empty, Joel pulls Sarah closer.
She squirms in his grip, “You know for something I used to hate missing out on, this is pretty lame, dad.”
“You’re gonna disrespect your grandma’s tradition like that?”
“No offense, but grandma’s taste in movies sucked.”
“Guess I know where you got your taste in music then,” Joel grins.
“Hey!” Sarah gives him a shove.
“Alright. Fine. What would do you want to watch?”
Thinking it over, “There’s a new Drake & Fisher Fortunes season I haven’t started yet.”
Joel sighs. It ain’t tradition and he’ll likely doze off within a few minutes, but he wouldn’t trade time with Sarah for anything in the world.
Even if it means falling asleep on the couch next to her. Or suffering through a concert he bought her tickets to for her birthday – it always will be the more important day to him anyway.
----------
This is by far the most people Joel and Tommy have ever let infringe on their movie night. He never anticipated all of them would elect to spend it crammed on a couch, watching westerns and eating chili.
Ellie was a given; Sarah always has an open invitation. But Joel thought Tess might elect not to just because and Maria might spend the twenty-fifth with her family.
Tess shows up with beer just in time.
“You’re a life saver,” he thanks her as she cracks a couple open.
“I’ll save you a seat in there.”
Dipping her finger into the chili pot, Ellie asks, “How can I help?”
“You can leave some for the rest of us,” Joel rolls his eyes.
“How about you go cue up the movie,” Tommy suggests, his hands full with the cornbread.
“What’re we watching?” Ellie asks.
“Just search True Grit on the TV, you’ll find it.”
Joel glances at Tommy curiously.
“What? We haven’t watched that one since Boston.”
“Ma’s favorite,” Joel says to no one in particular, reminding himself. He and Tommy only ever watched it together; Joel couldn’t even watch it when it was just him and Sarah.
Chili and cornbread distributed, they somehow all manage to cram into the living room. The seat Tess was apparently saving is taken by Sarah, leaving the armchair for Joel; he’s prevented from reclining though when Ellie settles down in front of him.
Outside, the dogs bark and scratch at the door. Maria jumps up to let them in. Racing into the room, Nike and Buckley shake fresh snow onto everyone.
“In case anyone was worried we weren’t gonna have a white Christmas, it’s coming down something fierce out there,” Maria draws their attention to the window.
“All the more reason to stay inside and indulge our boys in their Christmas tradition,” Tess raises her beer in toast.
“To the December twenty-fifth movie night!” Sarah joins her.
“Are we gonna fucking watch this movie or not?” Ellie poises the remote.
“Hit it, Ellie!” Tommy dims the lights.
Except the movie that starts up isn’t the movie Joel remembers – not in the slightest. There was no proverb, no sorrowful plinking piano, no opening narration in the film he remembers.
The realization hits Tommy at the same time, “Shit. This is the remake!”
Maria shushes Tommy as Sarah attempts to placate them, “Give it a shot. You two might find you actually like it.”
Joel’s dubious at best as the story unfold. It’s strange; the characters and scenes are so familiar, and yet somehow not. Most disconcerting to Joel is Mattie herself.
The girl’s doing a fine job, probably better suited to the character than Kim Darby, but he doesn’t see as much of ma in her. It isn’t until Mattie races Little Blackie across the river that it becomes clear who her stubbornness and determination remind Joel of.
For the next few minutes, Joel focuses on the back of Ellie’s head, reflecting on their meeting and his first impressions of her. He shakes his head, remembering the way he acted and some of the things he said; Ellie was worth every bit of trouble they scraped their way out of.
As Mattie keeps on proving herself time and again, Rooster becomes less of a man; Joel has to put down his beer as Rooster makes an ass of himself, drunkenly shooting at empty bottles.
Instinctively, he reaches for Ellie’s shoulder when Mattie comes face to face with Tom Chaney.
She squeezes his hand back and doesn’t let go through til the end.
“Okay. I admit it, that was a pretty damn good remake,” Tommy owns up.
“Glad you’re big enough to admit it,” Maria accepts his concession. Switching on the lights, “Who wants dessert before we start the next – are you two alright?”
Joel rubs his eyes against the sudden brightness of the room, only to discover his face is damp with tears.
Ellie lightly sniffs, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “Yeah. Just not what I expected.”
“Me neither,” the words practically stick in his throat.
Joel’s generally avoids father-daughter stories. He saw A Little Princess once after Sarah was born, he never anticipated how hard it would hit.
He should’ve figured it would come with the territory of becoming a dad again. But he didn’t think any movie could capture how Joel feels about Ellie, let alone that it would be a remake of ma’s all-time favorite movie.
Everyone else retreats to the kitchen, giving Joel and Ellie space to collect themselves. Nike licks away most of Ellie’s tears, helping her recover faster.
Through her remaining sniffling, Ellie chuckles, “Fuck, Joel. I was gonna say something sappy, like ‘you’re a man of true grit,’ or some shit like that. But look at you. You’re a fucking mess, old man.”
Joel scoffs, “You think so? Cause I was about to say you’ve got more grit than Mattie Ross., kiddo.”
Her eyes start to well up again, “You’re just saying that.”
“Cause it’s a damn fact, Ellie.”
“Thanks, Joel.”
Joel pulls Ellie into a tight hug to prevent her from shedding anymore tears tonight.
The remake might not make it into their regular holiday movie rotation, but it sure has found its place among Joel’s favorites.
----------
“You want me to do the talking, boss?”
Dryly, “Ha. Ha.” Then, “Please just make this easy for me, Joel.”
‘Joel,’ not even a ‘Texas’ – Tess must be nervous, meaning it’s not the right time for him to try to act funny.
It somehow seems impossible that Tess could be more apprehensive than him about ringing the doorbell, yet here they are.
He gives her a nod, “Right behind you.”
Tess takes a deep breath and rings the bell. Then they wait.
A whole minute passes and no one comes to the door. There’s not much commotion inside, but it’s entirely possible it wasn’t heard. But few another two minutes, Tess’s impatience flares up.
Pressing the button over and over with no response, Tess knocks. She mutters, “Damn thing’s probably broken.”
Her fist is just about to pound the door, when it swings wide open, revealing a severe-looking woman who could only be Tess’s ma. She raises a critical brow, appraising them both.
“Hey, mama. Merry Christmas.”
“You’re late, Theresa.”
Joel blinks, Theresa?
Wincing, “Our flight got delayed, mama.”
“It would’ve killed you to call?” she chastises her daughter. “Well, you’re here now. Come in, you’re letting out the warm air.”
They shuffle inside, kicking the snow off their books, and shove their coats and bags in the hall closet, when Tess’s ma finally addresses him, “You must be Joel. I’m Gail.”
Old manners kick in, “Yes. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, ma’am.”
Joel is torn between standing straighter and shrinking away from Gail’s stare. Tess’s glare doesn’t help matters.
Humming as if she’s made up her mind about him, “Not what I was expecting, but there’ll be time to chat later. There’s drinks in the kitchen, you can help yourselves. I’ll need your help prepping supper, Theresa, so don’t disappear on me.”
Gail points them in the right direction then disappears through another doorway, leaving Joel and Tess to breathe easy for the first time since they got off the plane.
“That wasn’t so bad,” Tess admits. “Though I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from referring to my mama as things you’ve called me in bed.”
Smirking, “Yes, ma’am, Theresa.”
“Shut up,” she rolls her eyes. “Shall we?”
Following Tess around the room, Joel’s reminded of the old days; except instead of threatening criminals, they’re socializing. Tess’s relatives are polite and curious about her life since she last saw them but aren’t prone to putting their noses where they don’t belong.
All in all, it’s a more lowkey gathering than Joel ever recalls attending with Christine. Joel even finds it easier to converse here than it was at the Parkers’, though that might have something to do with the wassail.
Probably the most annoying part of the evening is straining their ears for new arrivals knocking on the door.
When Gail pulls Tess away to the kitchen, Joel’s at a bit of a loss what to do. He just happens to be the only one to hear the latest arrival, giving him an excuse to break away.
“Someone really oughta fix that damn doorbell,” the new arrival mutters under his breath as he brushes past, giving Joel an idea.
“There a toolkit around here I can borrow?” Joel asks Gail, as long as Tess is being put to work, he might as well make himself useful too.
Gail hovers as Joel takes the cover off the doorbell and starts fiddling with wires.
“Tess tells me you were married before.”
“Yeah.”
“Ever consider it again?”
“Marriage didn’t exactly suit me the first time around.”
Wouldn’t suit Tess either. Long as Joel’s known her, she’s always been one to buck expectation; he imagines Gail’s all too familiar with the habit.
“So I take it grandbabies are out of the question.”
Joel’s lucky he doesn’t shock himself in surprise. He doesn’t know exactly how much Tess has conveyed to Gail about him, considering Tess only told him the bare minimum about her ma, but it’s hard to believe Tess hasn’t mentioned Ellie or Sarah to her before.
Trying focus, Joel shrugs, “Unless you want to count my two girls, I’d say that’s a hard no.”
He senses more questions are coming when Tess appears over Gail’s shoulder, “Are you coming back, mama, or am I gonna have to finish dinner all by myself?”
Returning to their respective tasks, Joel manages to fix the doorbell to a round of applause from the living room. Dinner follows shortly after to a much greater response.
Tess and Gail flank Joel for the rest of the evening. Gail to continue her interrogation of him, and Tess to – well, Joel’s not really sure if it’s for his protection or to put a buffer between her and her ma. Either way, Joel’s glad to be at Tess’s side.
The party peters out after dessert. When Tess and Gail disappear to see the last guest out, Joel finally takes in his surroundings; in particular a set of pictures on the wall catches his attention.
Though still not as awful as his senior portrait, he can’t help but snicker at teenage Tess’s scowl.
“I don’t see anything funny here,” Tess rejoins him, hands on her hips.
Joel jerks his thumb in the direction of her school photos, “Got one of your goth phase hanging up around here somewhere?”
“Shit. Ellie ratted me out, didn’t she?”
“Begged me to find evidence.”
“Good luck. Mama likely put it through the shredder.”
“Damn shame. I was mighty intrigued myself.”
She lightly punches his bad side, causing him to wince. Joel wraps his arm around her to prevent her from doing it again; not that Tess minds, resting her head on his shoulder.
Breaking their comfortable silence, “Hey, I know you’d rather be home, watching John Wayne movies with Tommy, but thanks for coming along.”
“You put up with my family plenty, it was my turn.”
Tess crooks her neck and grins, her eyes not exactly meeting his, “I know how you feel about the holidays, but would you mind indulging me in this one Christmas tradition.”
“What’re you –” Joel follows the direction of her gaze to the sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Chuckling, “Well, how about that? I know this one.”
Tess waits expectantly and Joel happily complies.