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Billy was awake. Like, wide awake. He wasn’t even tired, but at the same time he was exhausted. It was 3 in the fucking morning and he couldn’t sleep. It’s been on and off like this for weeks now ever since…the incident. He’d get some shut-eye for about an hour and then wake up and stay awake for another hour. It was pissing him off. He just wants to go to fucking sleep and pretend that everything’s normal. That everything’s fine.
Christ. He needs a beer. Might as well go get once since it didn’t seem like he would be sleeping anytime soon.
He slowly pulls the sheets off himself, and steps out of his bed. It creaks. Loudly. He couldn’t risk his dad hearing him making noise at three in the morning. He’d get so much shit if Neil woke up because of him.
Billy shuffles past Max’s room and hears sniffling from behind the door. Is she…crying? From the sound of it, it was more like sobbing. Really loud sobbing. It was almost like she was gasping for breath.
For a moment, he stood by the door wondering if he should walk in or not. A particular loud sob startled him, and he looked around paranoid that Neil would come sprinting out of his room. Fuck. If he didn’t shut her up, he would wake up and give them both shit.
He should go back to his room. Pretend he didn’t hear anything and try to sleep. But he hears Max sobbing behind the door and can’t bring himself to leave because he remembers a time when he used to cry like that.
He runs a hand through his hair nervously and slowly pushes the door open.
This won’t end well.
She doesn’t notice at first when he pushes the door open. He could see her in the dark with her knees held to her chest and head buried in her arms. Jesus.
He remembers when he had nightmares as a kid right after his mom left. He remembers screaming and sobbing until his throat was raw, crying for his mom who would never come back. Eventually Neil got tired of him crying like a ‘fucking little girl’ and taught him how to keep his mouth shut.
Fun times.
He still dreams of his mom sometimes. He just doesn’t cry anymore because he’s a man. Men don’t cry.
But no matter what he tells himself, it still hurts to think of her.
Billy’s throat grows dry as he pushes the memories out of his head and tries to focus on the little blob that happens to be Max. He takes a step forward and the floorboard creaks.
Max jumps and looks up, freezing.
For a moment, they just stare at each other, neither of them breathing.
This was fucking stupid idea.
He took the time to access the situation. Max was sitting there, looking absolutely petrified, with tears smeared across her face.
“My dad’s gonna wake up if you don’t stop crying,” he whispered forcefully.
Saying that apparently didn’t help with the problem. As soon as he spoke she started crying again, this time louder, digging her face into her knees.
“Jesus fuck.”
He stares at her again. If he had just ignored her cries, he wouldn’t have to be dealing with this now. He feels for her, he does. It’s just that he’s never been good at being sympathetic.
Guess it’s never too late to learn.
He takes a few steps closer to her, and stands right by the side of her bed.
“Max.”
“Go away Billy,” she hiccups, voice hoarse.
Billy sighs, “Why are you crying?”
“Leave me alone,” she says, still not lifting her head from her knees.
Billy reaches out and yanks on the sleeve of her t-shirt. “Hey, look at me.”
She sniffles, “No.”
“Max.”
“Max.”
“WHAT?” she finally shouts, this time looking up to shove at his arm that was prodding at her arm.
Billy couldn’t help the fear that went up his spine hearing her shout. “Shhhh! Do you know what time it is? Are you fucking stupid? Neil’s gonna beat my ass if he wakes up because of your blubbering.”
Wrong thing to say (what did he expect from screaming at an already-crying 14 year old girl). He sees her lip begin to tremble and the waterworks start again because of course they do.
“Leave me alone, Billy,” she says again, but this time she sounds so…broken. He can’t help but feel bad.
He sighs. “Listen, I’m sorry. Just-tell me what happened.”
When she still doesn’t say anything, he decides to plop himself right next to her on the bed, hip-checking her a little to make room for himself.
She looks up and glares at him, tries to shove him off with her scrawny arms.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what happened,” Billy says, sitting on the bed arms crossed, taking her hits.
“Nothing happened, Billy! I just had a stupid nightmare,” she huffed, still hiccuping through her words.
He figured. He’s had nightmares too since he almost got killed by an inter-dimensional demon, just nothing that seemed as bad as whatever Max is dealing with.
“Yeah? Must be some nightmare if it’s got you all upset like this.”
She didn’t say anything, choosing instead to wipe aggressively at her face.
“I’m fine, Billy.”
Sure she was. That’s why she was sobbing at 3 in the morning.
“What was the dream about?” he asked hesitantly, ignoring her previous statement.
Max sniffles. “Just stupid stuff. Nothing important.”
Ah, she was embarrassed. At least that was something he could somewhat understand.
Fuck. He was gonna regret this later.
“You know, sometimes I have nightmares too.”
She doesn’t say anything but she looks up a little, and Billy took that as a sign to keep talking.
“I used to have dreams about my mom. She uh…this isn’t going to sound like much of a nightmare…but I used have dreams where she just left. It was almost like a replay of her leaving…and it happened again and again. And every time she left, she would say something like ‘I never loved you’ or ‘Why would I want to take you with me?’ and stupid shit like that.” His breath hitched just slightly and he tried to cover it up with a cough.
“I know she wouldn’t have ever said that in person, but it still hurt to hear even in dreams. I don’t know if that counts as a nightmare, though.”
“That counts.”
“Yeah? Well now my nightmares are filled with fucking inter-dimensional monsters from who-knows-where.”
He looks over at her and he can see just a ghost of a smile on her lips, head still resting on her knees but at least she’s looking at him now. There are still tears smeared on her face, but it seems that she’s stopped crying for now. She almost looks like she’s in a trance, thinking of something.
He ruffles her hair to break the weird mood he’s just set. She smacks his hand and he grins at her.
“Alright shitbird, I told you my dreams, you tell me yours.”
Her eyes turn sad again, and she burries her face in her knees again. Didn’t he just succeed in getting her to look at him? Back to square one.
“No,” she said, voice muffled. “It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid.”
“You don’t even know what it is.”
“I know it’s not stupid.”
“You’ll think it’s stupid. I know it.”
“Try me.”
She pauses at that, lifts her head, and takes a deep breath.
“I had a dream that the Mind Flayer came back and you and my friends were there. We were just hanging out and then it came back. And, and, it-” she she teared up again, hiccuping through her words. “-it took you again and it was worse because you started hurting all my friends and me. And you tried to take me to the Flayer, and right before it possessed me, I woke up.”
She was full on sobbing by the time she finished telling him what happened. He thought getting her to talk about it would make her feel better but obviously not.
“Christ, Maxine. You know I wouldn’t do that shit right? It’s not in me anymore.”
“Yeah I know asshole,” she said, wiping tears away. “I told you it was stupid.”
“That’s not stupid, Max. That’s scary. I’ve had dreams like that before too, you know.”
“I know,” she grumbled. “Yours are probably worse, anyway.”
“That doesn’t mean yours are any less important.”
Jesus, he doesn’t remember being this sappy.
“Whatever, dickhead,” she said, obviously not liking this understanding version of Billy.
She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, and then closed it forcefully so that he could hear the click of her teeth. After a moment of waiting, she sighs heavily.
“What is it, Maxine? Spit it out.”
“It’s just-can you stay here tonight? Just until I fall asleep?”
He turned to look at her, and he could see through the dark of her room that her cheeks were turning pink. The old Billy would have said no without a second thought. But…this was the new Billy. And fuck it. He was already being sappy, why not continue being sappy.
“Fine you little shit, but don’t expect me to be nice all the fucking time. Tomorrow I’m going back to being the same asshole. You got it?”
She laughs, before wiping away leftover tears. “Yeah, I got it.” Finally, she sinks down into her sheets, and he watches as she rests her head against his leg, and he can’t help the warm feeling blooming in his chest.
“Goodnight, asshole.”
“‘Night, shitbird.”