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The first time he saw him, Tenma was mesmerized. He’d felt many things similar to this feeling before, when he won awards, when he was proud of a project he had worked on, when his parents gave him attention, but this was an entirely different feeling than those. His chest felt light, his face warm and his eyes widened.
Was this… love?
Tenma awoke with a start and looked around, he was in bed and the room was still dark. Groaning he fell back on his pillow with a soft thump, ever since he became an actor under the Mankai Company he kept having the same dream over and over. It didn’t help that he saw Sakuya daily, he only prayed that nothing was noticeable or off. He didn’t need anyone fussing over him, it was just a silly crush. Nothing abnormal, at least he hoped not.
However, sleep refused to come to him now that he was awake, so he groggily got ready for the day as quietly as he could. A grumpy Yuki was a force to be reckoned with, and he didn’t feel like dealing with that today.
Tenma checked the clock in the kitchen and saw that he had an hour to kill until the early birds started their day, figuring there wasn’t much he could do without making any noise he decided to scroll through his blog. It was pretty dead, which was a given considering the time, but a few of his favorite accounts had posted so it wasn’t a waste of time.
Letting his head hit the top of the couch he groaned, he couldn’t go back to sleep but he was just so bored. Maybe he could take after Tasuku and do a morning run, but the thought of running alone in the dark didn’t really sit well with him. Absorbed in his thoughts he didn’t even notice the second person to wake up.
“Is that you Tenma? I didn’t know you woke up this early when you didn’t have rehearsals.”
The cheerful ring of Sakuya’s voice made Tenma jump, thankfully only that so it wasn’t as embarrassing.
“O-oh Sakuya! I just couldn’t sleep is all, and I didn’t want Yuki to kill me for waking him up so I figured waiting out here would be a good idea.”
Sakuya giggled, “Yeah, he’s definitely a force to be reckoned with. Are you okay though? Were you woken up by nightmares or something similar?”
Tenma shook his head, “Nah nothing like that, don’t worry. How about you though? I know you’re a morning person but it’s still earlier than the norm for you.”
He looked away at that, moving instead to sit down next to Tenma. “Yeah you could say that, it’s not as common now but I still have nightmares from time to time. Even though things are better now, and I’m not alone, they never really leave.”
Tenma brought his hand up and started rubbing small circles on Sakuya’s back, “Hey… you’ll be okay, as you said, you’re not alone. And if things are really bad, I’m always here for you Sakuya.”
Sakuya leaned into Tenma, a small smile adorning his face. “Thank you Tenma.”
They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, but was probably just a few minutes until Tenma heard someone else stirring and broke the moment. Deciding it was time to actually get ready for the day, he braved his room again after shooting a soft smile towards Sakuya.
Ever since that happened, Tenma hadn’t been able to think straight. His dreams got even worse to top it off, hell, he even walked in to see Sakuya giggling and he almost ran into the couch! He was going to make a fool of himself and never be able to face Sakuya ever again at this rate.
“Hey, idiot are you listening to me?”
Yuki’s annoyed tone snapped him out of his thoughts, and for once he was thankful for his roommate calling him an idiot.
“No, uh sorry. What were you saying?”
Yuki rolled his eyes and sighed, “I was saying, what’s got you acting all weird. You’ve been zoning out and making googly eyes at Energy Concentrate for the past week, you in love with him or what?”
Tenma choked on air, of course he knew it was obvious but he didn’t know it was Yuki obvious. “I-I’m not in love with him! I’m just- it’s just-” He shoved his head in his hands, “It’s complicated, okay?”
“The way you’re stammering and blushing says a whole different thing, hack.” Yuki deadpanned.
“Oh can it, I just. I don’t know what to do okay? I can’t just go up and tell him that I can’t sleep at night because I dream of him or how much I want to- Why am I telling you this.”
Yuki snorted, “Oh no go on, this is priceless. So you were saying? You wanted to…”
Tenma glared at him, “I will not give you the satisfaction of knowing that, thank you very much! Also aren’t you uninterested in romance? What makes you of all people want to hear about any of this.”
“Oh please, just because I find love stupid doesn’t mean that watching you fall apart over one boy isn’t hilarious. But also as your teammate, you need to get it together, if we weren’t on break I wouldn’t be as nice as I am right now.”
“You call this nice!?”
Yuki waved his hand, “Anyways, if you’re so infatuated with him just tell him that? Isn’t hanami happening soon? Just confess then, it’ll be perfect too, all romantic and stuff.”
Tenma continued to glared at him from his bed, “Oh master of love Yuki, and how easy do you think doing that’ll be if I can’t even hold a full conversation anymore. Or worse, he doesn’t feel the same way and I just ruined everything?”
“And do you suppose whining to me is going to do anything other than make you more miserable? Take a chance for once, hack. And if it does fail then I’ll apologize and do what I can for you, but I’m telling you it won’t.”
Tenma just grumbled and rolled on his other side, choosing to ignore Yuki and his dumb feelings to play a game on his phone. Yuki muttered something that he didn’t bother picking up before leaving Tenma alone with his thoughts and phone.
As much as the idea of confessing terrified him, maybe Yuki was right? He usually was, and it was better than moping all the time. He flopped back on his pillow, why was this so hard? But if a leap of faith was all it would take then well, Tenma might, just might, take this chance.
All of the company members were bustling about, the adults were gossiping amongst themselves while sipping on the sake Azuma brought, most of the others were flocking around Omi for food, and Tenma was content drinking apple juice and watching them all.
“Oh! I didn’t think you’d be back here Tenma?”
Tenma thanked any deity up above that he didn’t scream or jump when Sakuya came up behind him, “Y-yeah! I just wasn’t that hungry and the view is really pretty over here.”
Sakuya smiled, “It really is! This is your first hanami too right?”
Tenma nodded, “Yeah, my family didn’t really do anything like this, so it’s nice to feel welcomed for once.”
“I know the feeling.” Sakuya replied softly, almost too soft for Tenma to pick up.
He bumped Sakuya’s shoulder playfully, “Guess we’re more alike than we thought huh?”
Sakuya giggled, “Yeah, maybe we are! I’m glad though, I used to feel like I had nowhere to go, but here I feel like I actually have a family. It’s a great feeling…”
Tenma noticed he went quiet after, so with a small exhale, he draped his arm across Sakuya’s shoulders. Still opting to not say anything, Tenma instead gazed at Sakuya and almost forgot how to breathe. The sakura behind him made him look more angelic, and the soft smile adorning his face made his heart stop.
“...beautiful.”
Sakuya startled and looked up, “What was that?”
Tenma’s face immediately heated up, “U-um nothing! Actually I- I wanted to ask you something but do you mind following me somewhere more private than this?”
Sakuya tilted his head curiously, but followed Tenma anyways. They didn’t go far, only enough that they weren’t easily noticeable by everyone.
Nervously, Tenma shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, looking anywhere but Sakuya.
“I uh, I wanted to ask you something Sakuya. Have you ever been in love?”
Sakuya looked confused, but took a moment to ponder before replying. “Yeah, you could say that! I don’t really know what being in love feels like but I’m pretty sure that’s what it is. How about you Tenma!”
Almost immediately he felt like he was punched in the gut, he didn’t know if that was past or present but he didn’t want to ruin their relationship over his silly crush, still it was rude to not answer.
“Yeah I am, he’s my first love too but I doubt I could ever get the courage to tell him. But anyways why don’t we go back to the others-”
Tenma turned around and was about to leave but Sakuya grabbed his hand to stop him, “Wait, Tenma- That wasn’t all you wanted to ask, was it.”
He looked conflicted, he wanted to spill his heart out right then and there, but he couldn’t even begin to find the words. So he took Sakuya’s other hand and interlaced their fingers, still not making eye contact.
“I don’t… I don’t want to ruin the relationship I have with him.”
Sakuya squeezed his hands, “Tenma… I’m sure whoever it is would be happy to know.”
This was it, this was the leap of faith he needed to take, sucking in a breath he looked up.
“Sakuya, I’m in love with you.”
And Sakuya grinned, he grinned and hugged Tenma so tight he thought he’d stop breathing for a second. Once he regained himself, Tenma tentatively hugged back, holding onto Sakuya as if his life depended on it.
“I love you too Tenma, guess we have more in common than we thought?”
Tenma chuckled, “Yeah, we do.”