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The heavy steel door opened with a metallic clang followed by muffled groans from four unrecognizable men walking inside the bunker. Two of the four limped heavily, favoring their respective injured sides. The other two followed silently behind, leaving a trail of mud and thick crimson fluid.
“Well, I’ll say it then,” murmured one of the four with a mirthless laugh. Blood and dirt matted his sandy-colored hair. “That sucked.”
One of the limpers scoffed harshly in response, shaking his head before he gingerly grabbed the table in the War Room to keep himself upright.
“If I weren’t so damn—” Another scoff erupted from the man followed by a strangled groan as he leaned more against the table. “Gabe, I swear, I’d kick your goddamn ass.”
“Hey, how was I supposed to know—”
“Milk run,” mocked the green-eyed man back. “Day tops. We can kill it. No problem. Archangel, Seraph, two Hunters. Come on. It’ll be so easy, guys!” He leaned even heavier against the tabletop, drawing in a pained breath.
“For the record, Dean-o, it was a vampire!”
“One of them! The others sure as hell weren’t, dumbass!”
“How was I supposed to know—”
Dean instantly pushed off the table, emerald eyes glittering in contempt. The tongue-lashing of a lifetime was right there, ready to cut the bloodied archangel to ribbons over the differences between the monsters. However, the minute he stepped down on his right foot, he let out a strangled yell and stopped, his hand slapping against his knee. He growled under his breath, breathing heavily.
“Here, Dean,” murmured a kind voice at his side. “Let me help.”
Nodding towards his angel, Dean sagged against him more than what was necessary. He closed his eyes when he felt the calming fingertips against his forehead and waited. And waited. And waited some more. When nothing happened after a few more moments, he peeked open an eye and glanced at the blue-eyed, messy-haired man.
“Cas?”
Blue eyes snapped back to him, a flicker of worry flashing before it vanished. “Hush, Dean. Quit distracting me.”
“Uh, what?” The elder Winchester brother huffed a laugh before he let out a shuddered groan as it caused his ribs to make their pain known too. He pressed a hand to them and winced. “I’m distracting? Since when?”
“Dean,” Cas warned, giving him a withering glare.
“Fine.” Green eyes rolled before he glanced towards his brother. “You all right, Sammy?”
The taller, hazel-eyed man chuckled quietly with folded arms standing next to where Gabriel was sitting at the table. “Compared to what? You?” He flashed a thin smile. “Yeah, I’m good, Dean.” He then turned towards the archangel and shook his head. “Thanks to Gabe.”
“Uh no. No thanks to that jackass. He’s the one who—” His words cut off instantly when a hand was slapped against his mouth.
“Who stepped in front of your brother, multiple times mind you, which you’re welcome, Dean. But, you know, wouldn’t have hurt if you did the same for Cas every now and then. Just a thought,” Gabriel drawled before he sighed and leaned forward, his hands going to his head.
“Hey,” Sam spoke, gently pressing a hand against the smaller man’s shoulder. “You okay?”
“Ask me that in the morning, will ya? Might have an answer then. One that’s not ‘Ow.”
The younger Winchester chuckled and nodded. “You can heal yourself, though, right?”
“Yeah, course.” Gabe shrugged before he coughed harshly and groaned again. “Probably.”
Sam shook his head and scoffed. “All right. That settles it. Cas?” He smiled faintly when he caught the deep azures that reminded him of the ocean. “Let’s get these two to bed.”
Cas only hesitated for a moment before he nodded, wrapping an arm around Dean’s waist. He took the majority of the Hunter’s weight and helped him limp towards their room.
Sighing when they disappeared around the corner, Sam knelt down in front of the silent archangel who was clearly in pain. “Now I know it’s bad.”
“Oh?” Gabriel lifted his eyes up slightly, his amber eyes somewhat glossy. “Why’s that?”
“You didn’t even make the stupid remark if we were heading to my room,” he replied with a scoff. “How bad is it, Gabe? And be honest. Please.”
“Not great,” he admitted quietly, his eyes falling back to the floor, “but I’ll live.”
“If you slept, would it help?”
The sandy-haired man shrugged before he winced again. “Wouldn’t hurt. At least I don’t think it would at this point. Can’t hurt worse I mean.”
“All right.” Sam pushed himself up and then held out a hand. “We’ll take this slow then.”
“Awe, man. Slower than we been doing already?” the mischievous angel joked with a ghostly smile. “Should call you Sam—ugh!” He leaned forward again, his palms digging into his forehead. He breathed in and out several times, waiting for the pain to lessen. His shoulders sagged finally after a few minutes of silence. “Thank Dad he gave me the gift of patience then, right?”
Sam’s eyes narrowed when he heard the slightly slurred words.
“Gabriel?”
“Yeah?”
“Look at me.”
It took a bit before the amber eyes finally looked up pitifully.
“It’s not just your leg and head, is it?”
“Well, the head does feel like I just listened to Dad and Luci arguing with Ralphie and Mikey in the background. And maybe Naomi too.” He scoffed as he recalled some of his various dealings with her. “Always hated that bitch.”
Hazel-eyes silently examined the archangel, as Sam’s frown deepened.
“Where?”
“Where what, Sam-din?” Gabe replied, swallowing back the pain that was racing through his nerves. “Sam-lin.” He let out a tired chuckle, not sure why he was laughing exactly. He just felt like laughing and never stopping for some reason. “Sam—something. It’ll hit me.” His words slurred more as he noticed Sam come in and out of focus like twinkling Christmas lights in the middle of a blizzard. “Sorta. Like that blade did.” Oops. Had he said that out loud?
“Blade?” He leaned forward, grabbing the bloodied archangel’s face. “What blade, Gabriel?”
“Cassie’s. I don’t think . . . he didn’t . . . I don’t . . .” His head tilted forward before another coughing fit took over. His whole body spasmed and jerked at the violent coughing. Once he calmed down again, which took longer than it should, he leaned his head back and sighed, his chest heaving.
“Your Grace,” Sam’s voice trailed off as his eyes widened.
“Yep.” he groaned, wiping at his mouth. “Definitely tastes worse coming back up, champ.”
“What do I do?” demanded the taller man, stepping back into his line of sight. “How do I help?” He grabbed his face again. “Gabe, talk to me! Is there a spell? What?”
He snorted, the exhaustion weighing heavily on him. Oh, Sam. Always trying to save him.
“Gabe! What do I do?”
His head lulled to the side, feeling more of his Grace leak out. He chuckled quietly at the two pairs of eyes watching him from the corner. One pair was the brightest shade of blue, so brilliant and full of warmth and love. The other pair was steel gray, full of mischief and humor.
“Gabriel!” The voice sounded distant, echoing around like there was a tunnel.
Whiskey-colored eyes closed as the angel felt the warmth of the past surround him. His brothers, before it all went to Hell literally, his sweet little brothers, right there, waiting. Always waiting for him.
“I’m sorry,” the older brother murmured. He truly was. But it wasn’t time yet. He sighed heavily, turning away from them with tears. His hand reached out, snatching Sam’s and clasping it tightly. He inhaled deeply, ignoring the excruciating pain he felt the best he could as he drew in Sam’s strength. He could feel their bond, one he had been nurturing as long as he had known the human. It was nowhere near the level of Cas and Dean’s profound bond, of course, but it would do for now. His Grace sought Sam’s soul through their joined hands. When they found each other, he felt the wave of energy, pure and light and radiant, surround him. He then drew back once the pain had lessened enough for him to think again, releasing Sam’s hand with a quiet exhale.
“Gabe?” Sam finally broke the silence a few moments later.
“Yeah?” was the weak reply.
“Don’t do that again!” replied the long-haired man in relief, lightly hitting the archangel’s upper left shoulder.
“Scared you, did I?” He glanced at the human with a tired smirk. “And you always go on how we’re not a thing.”
“We’re not,” Sam replied firmly.
“Eh.” Gabriel shrugged lightly. “Bond says otherwise.”
“What?”
He held up a hand with a gentle smile. “Relax, Sam-yeti. It’s nowhere near our brothers’. Promise.” Give it time, though, and maybe.
“We’re bonded?”
“Somewhat,” casually replied the youngest archangel, forcing his apprehension down to the deepest part of his vessel. It wouldn’t do any good to get excited or worried or whatever over Sam’s thoughts—especially when the giant human wasn’t showing his emotions on his face anymore. “Watch over someone for so long, protect them, yada-yada, a bond naturally forms.”
“But Cas and Dean—”
Gabriel couldn’t help it. He let out a huge sigh and rolled his eyes.
“What?” the youngest Winchester asked, frowning at him.
“Nothing.” When Sam’s hazel eyes narrowed even more on him, Gabriel surrendered. “It’s just everyone compares their bond to everything and anything. Their type of bond, though—one in a hundred trillion. It’s super rare and only happens—” His voice cut out unexpectedly as he realized what he was revealing.
“What? Only happens when?” asked the long-haired man, not missing a beat.
“Not my place,” the older replied, waving it away. “It’s just super rare. That’s the main thing you need to know. So, don’t compare it to ours. Cause ours won’t be theirs.” And he hoped it never would be. Idly, he wondered if Cas had ever revealed what his and Dean’s profound bond truly meant. Though, as he thought more on it, would Cas have even known it, he supposed was the bigger question. Somehow, he had a feeling after he skipped out on Heaven, the others didn’t take up teaching about silly little things like bonds and their meanings.
“You almost say it like it’s a good thing that it’s not.”
The archangel shrugged somewhat. Maybe he was. When he heard footsteps approaching from the hallway a moment later, he sighed inwardly and glanced towards the entryway. He bit back his snort when he saw Castiel rush into the room with a deeply irritated look on his face.
“What now, little brother?” drawled Gabriel, crossing his arms slowly.
“I—” Blue eyes darted to Sam before a loud sigh of annoyance was heard. “I’ve tried everything I can think of, but my Grace is still refusing to work.”
“Maybe you’re just tired, Cas,” Sam offered kindly.
“No. That’s not it,” grumbled the moody angel. He started to pace back and forth in front of them, his hands coming up to run through his hair messing it up more than usual. “I’m used to operating drained, but I push through it like always and still can heal you two. This . . . this is different, though.”
Gabriel noticed the slight shift in Sam before the man even opened his mouth.
“Come over here then,” announced the big brother, holding out a hand. “Let me take a look.”
“Gabe,” Sam warned, his eyes widening at him as he likely recalled just a few minutes earlier.
“I’m good, kiddo. You supercharged my batteries again.” He then forced a smile when he caught both Sam and Cas’s disbelieving glares. “All right. Fine. You caught me. I’m not the 100 percent supercharged archangel you know and love, but I’ve got enough Grace where I’m not dying. Better?”
“You said—”
“Yes, Cassie,” Gabriel replied with a sigh and eyeroll. Leave it to that brat to point out his lie. “I know what I said. I’m fine. Sam had it well within hand.” He kept his amber eyes far from the glaring daggered hazel eyes. “Now, get your butt over here and let me check you out.”
“Sam,” Cas replied, turning towards the taller man.
“Sam,” warned Gabriel, his voice an octave lower, pointing at him. “No.”
“He was puking up his Grace.”
Gabe’s eyes closed as his head fell forward. Well, shit.
“He was . . . you said it was just—” Castiel’s voice deepened into a growl, “Gabriel!”
When he felt strong hands clutching his shirt collar, he reopened his eyes and glanced at his now very irritated sibling. He sighed softly. He could almost see the lines in Cas’s face, the anger radiating off him in waves. So much of the Winchesters’ influences could be seen.
“Baby bro, I’m fine.” When he caught the flash of Grace in his brother’s eyes, he scoffed. “Well, what do you know. Your Grace seems just fine to me. Maybe you are just distracted.”
“I’m not distracted!” snapped Cas, glaring down at him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because you had your hands full, Cassie,” he threw back, not liking how his insides twisted into knots at the Seraph’s words. “Now, go run back to your boyfriend and—”
“Why must you always be such a . . .” Cas growled loudly before he released him and took a step back. “You are my brother, Gabriel! The only one I have left. So, forgive me for being upset hearing that you once again were close to death,” he snarked with a loud huff. “I mean, I only love you, you pig-headed jerk.”
“Awe. I love you too, bitch.” He bit back a laugh when he caught both Sam and Cas’s blinks. “What? You mean, we’re not doing the ‘Winchester brotherly love’ moment right now? Sorry.” He so wasn’t, and he could hear it in his voice just how not sorry he was. He subdued a bit more of his amusement for their sake, though. “But to answer your question, little bro, you’re fine. It was probably just a fluke or something. I wouldn’t worry too much on it.”
“Dean needs me to heal him, though.”
“No. What Dean needs is rest, Cassie,” Gabriel retorted firmly.
“He’s in pain!”
“So give him an ibuprofen.”
“But—”
Having lost all patience for the conversation, Gabriel held up a hand and sighed heavily when Cas went quiet. “You can’t heal him,” he said flatly. “Your Grace is rebelling against you. That much is obvious. So, suck it up, buttercup, and do it the old-fashioned way. Surely after eleven years with these two knuckleheads, you learned how to do that, right?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Then, let’s go to our rooms and take the day off . . . and rest. Dad knows we could all use it after all.”
“But Dean—”
“Castiel, so help me,” Gabe grumbled, glaring at him. “I will hit you so hard you’ll become the Angel of Monday if you keep it up, got it?” He huffed when he caught Cas’s bratty look. Some things never changed. The little brat still wanted to argue. “Your dumbass Winchester would probably enjoy the time alone with you, watching movies, playing games, whatever the hell you two do together. You do not need to heal him with every little scratch, every little sprain he gets. Sometimes the humans will just have to heal normally. Understand?” When he caught the brat’s mouth opening, he cut him off instantly. “If he was that badly hurt, your Grace would heal him. Trust me. As it is, he probably just needs to sleep it off.” Like they all did.
“He’s probably right, Cas,” Sam chimed in finally. He gave a kind, gentle smile to the fretting angel. “Dean probably would enjoy just spending time with you.”
“But—”
Amber eyes narrowed into slits. “What the hell are you so afraid of?” Gabriel remarked, meeting his brother’s eyes. “That Dean snores? Or something else I’ll spare Sam the horror of thinking about? You watched over him for years, Castiel! You know him inside and out better than any other person. This isn’t new! Any of it! So, what are you so scared of?”
“I’m not scared,” the angel replied testily, his eyes darting to the furthest part of the room.
“Could have fooled me.” Normally, Gabe would have snapped his fingers and forced the truth, but he knew it wasn’t the right move in this case.
“If you think Dean’s going to be disappointed you can’t heal him, don’t, Cas,” Sam stated quietly. “He won’t be. He’ll be more worried than anything,”
“I’m not—” Cas sighed heavily before he glanced back at both of them. Without another word, he turned around and walked back out, heading towards the dorms again.
“Gabe?”
“Yeah?” He slowly glanced towards Sam.
“Should we be worried about his Grace?”
He shrugged slightly. “No. I don’t think so. Not yet at least.”
“But it does mean something, though, doesn’t it?”
“It means my little brother’s evolving, Sam,” Gabe declared with a faint, proud big brother smile. “That all of Dad’s fundamental principles he instilled in us and all of Naomi’s programming is being ignored, resisted. He’s becoming his own person.”
“And when he does? What does that mean?”
“Not sure yet, kiddo.” The archangel gave a soft chuckle. “Dad wanted us to obey him at all times. If he told us to jump, we were to ask how high. And, yet, here’s my little bratty brother Castiel.” He grinned widely as he thought back to how it was before the power struggle took over. “He was always so curious about you humans. Always asking to come down to Earth for a visit.” He shook his head in amusement. “I took him on his first trip down here actually. Well, his first legal trip at least.”
“You did?”
Gabriel nodded slowly with a wistful smirk. “I had noticed him plotting with Balthazar. Both trying to figure out the foolproof way to come down here without anyone knowing. At that time, Dad had made sure everyone knew Earth was off-limits to all unless they wanted to incur his wrath.” The youngest archangel sighed softly. “Coming back from yet another Sunday evening shouting match with my older brothers, though, I found Cas trying to grab something of mine he thought he’d need for his mission. I could tell the second I saw him how determined he was and how upset he was underneath.”
“Upset? Why?”
“Like usual, he and Balthazar had gotten into a fight about something stupid.” He couldn’t recall what it was, but he knew Cas had told him eventually. “And I favored him, Sam. I favored Cas over all the others. Over Balthazar even actually. Because . . .” His voice cracked slightly before he glanced down, feeling the emotions welling up inside again. He pushed aside the instinct to use his Grace to dampen them and let the moment pass over him, grateful that Sam didn’t interrupt.
He could almost recall that day. Hear the pitiful whimpers from his baby brother. See the tears streaking the young angel’s face. Smell the thick ozone. Feel the warmth of Heaven’s Grace and Power. But he knew that those details weren’t true. Cas had been in his True Form for one thing, and he had never grown up like a human. Yet, any time Gabriel looked back on that time, he could recall those details the most. The humanity in his brother.
“Did you know Dad created him for me?” Gabe finally said a few moments later, glancing at Sam. He smiled somberly when he caught the human’s head shake. “He did. He even let me add the last ingredient. The one to give him life.”
“Why?”
“Oh, Dad could see I didn’t fit in with the others.” He waved his hand dismissively. “We used to talk, Dad and me, you know? Before everything went so screwy. Before Auntie Amara. Before my brother became the Lucifer we know him to be now. Before it became a power struggle over everything. Our talks weren’t anything memorable usually. But he asked me once, that day, what I wanted more than anything. I think he was trying to cheer me up after Mikey and Ralphie decided to have their fun and torture me again.” Gabe ran a hand through his sandy hair and sighed. “And for once, I was honest. I told him I wanted a brother who accepted me, who I could protect and teach and guide like Dad was doing with me.” He scoffed, shrugging. “I think it was the first and last time Dad told me how proud he was of me. How my heart was in the right place.”
He had been so happy to hear those words from his father. He could remember bursting with pride, forgetting all about his stupid older brothers. How far they had come that now he absolutely loathed his father with every bit of his Grace.
“So, you two created Cas then?”
“Yep. Dad pulled him out of nothing, molded him into this inert little angel.” He shook his head slowly. What was he doing? He was revealing memories from so long ago his mind was supplying details that weren’t true, that couldn’t be.
He could recall seeing the tiny little ball of depowered light hovering above his father’s powerful hands. A flicker of brilliant blue, a richer shade than the oceans on Earth, would spark every now and then in the ball. He remembered his dad nodding to him, telling him it was okay to add the final ingredient now. The second the wispy white of Gabriel’s Grace dripped onto the hovering depowered ball of light, his little brother, the flickers of brilliant blue burst free. A shockwave of raw power rushed out before it came slamming back with a roar.
Regardless of all details (true or not) that his mind supplied, he continued. “I must be exhausted. I haven’t told anyone this. Not even Castiel.”
“He doesn’t know?”
“No. I didn’t stick around too much longer after that.” Gabriel sighed inwardly, hanging his head. He hated how he had abandoned the young angel, left him with the others to corrupt him, to torture him as he himself had suffered. “I was there for his flying lessons and even taught him how to fight a few times, but when Mikey made his power move, I left.” Leaving his brother behind had been one of the hardest things he had ever done.
“Wait. But Cas said he didn’t know the archangels. That he hadn’t met Chuck before.”
“Sam-arian, do you know how many times they tore into his mind to reprogram him? To fix him as they’d call it?” Gabriel lazily glanced at the tall man. “Frankly, I’m surprised my brother even knows his name some days.”
For a moment, he considered telling Sam his thoughts on how Cas had remained so strong over the years, able to resist it for so long, but he decided against it. It would only be speculation at this point, and that wouldn’t do any good. But if he had to, he would give the Winchesters the credit in it. He couldn’t deny that being near them helped him as well at times.
“Gabe?”
“Yeah?” murmured the archangel with a silent sigh.
“You should tell him sometime.”
Gabriel nodded slowly. “I should. I know. It’d certainly help break his whole ‘Dad created me to be a tool’ theory he has at least.” He snorted when he caught Sam’s slight nod in agreement. “But I’ll be honest.” He lowered his voice to a hushed murmur. “Sort of worried about his reaction to that. You know, considering how I abandoned him and all that jazz?”
“You told him you always watched over him, even when he didn’t know you were.”
The archangel nodded firmly. He had revealed that, and it had gone over rather well, he supposed. Maybe telling Cas wouldn’t be as—Oh, whom was he kidding? Seriously. It’d make things ten times worse. Because not only did their father mess with the blue-eyed angel in ways that seriously were so messed up, but then he’d learn that his brother had asked their dad to make him only to abandon him not long after. Yeah. That would likely cause more negativity than they needed. And as it was, the Seraph was already losing control more frequently than usual. He didn’t need this to send him over.
“You’re not going to tell him, are you?” stated Sam with a sigh a few moments later.
Gabe winced, glancing at the human. He used to be better about hiding his emotions than this. “It’s not—I just don’t think he needs that right now. All right?” Not with all that was going on that even Sam didn’t know about at least. All it took was another tantrum before . . .
“Gabriel,” frowned the youngest Winchester brother.
“Sam,” he replied with a forced, awkward smile. “I get it. You’re trying to be a good friend, but he doesn’t need this. He’s got his hands full with your brother. Let’s just, you know, leave it.”
“So it blows up in his face later, you mean?” retorted Sam, crossing his arms. He shook his head a moment later, clearly disappointed. “I swear. Sometimes it’s like talking to Dean with you.”
“What?!” Amber eyes widened instantly. How in the hell was he like Dean? Sure, they were both older brothers, but—and sure they both had some stubborn moments when it came to their younger brothers too—but—
“You heard me.”
“I am nothing like your brother, Sam.” He then held up a finger. “For one, I told you I like you. That I intended to court you and make you my human lover.” He caught Sam’s eyeroll but continued. “I didn’t dance about the issue for years like those two idiots did. And two—”
Sam interrupted, though, cutting him off at the knees. “You both underestimate us, Gabriel. Dean hides crap to protect me too. Assumes if I knew the truth whatever it was, I’d unravel and fall apart. Which is why you’re probably doing the same damn thing to Cas. You both like to think we need you to protect us, to keep us safe all the time. So, you both hide crap from us. Tell yourselves how you’re doing the right thing. And then later when it comes out, you get upset because we found out that you’ve been lying to us for years. So, when we naturally respond angrily about being lied to, you both then push the blame onto us, claiming if we would have just left it all alone everything would have been fine.”
Blinking in surprise, Gabriel sat at the map table silently.
“But it never is, Gabe. Never. So, speaking as a younger brother whose older brother lies to him to protect him, don’t. Just don’t. Tell Cas the truth. Let him hear it from you instead of someone else. Because when we find out the truth from someone else, it messes with us. It makes us wonder why our own brother wouldn’t tell us the truth when a stranger could. Why we weren’t trusted.”
“It’s not a matter of trust, though!” he argued, leaning forward slightly. Sam stayed just out of his reach, though. “It’s a matter of love, Sam. We love you two idiots so much we don’t want to hurt you.” At least it was that in his case with Cas. He didn’t want to hurt his brother.
“Hiding it will always hurt us more, though.” Sam then sighed quietly and shook his head. “You need to tell him.”
“Sam,” groaned Gabe petulantly.
“No.” The taller man pointed a finger at him. “He thinks Chuck created him for us, Gabe. To further the story along when you and I both know he wasn’t. Chuck made him for you! If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you want to know that?”
Whiskey-colored eyes rolled dramatically before the archangel huffed. “Yeah, sure, so I can then wonder what the hell I did to make my big brother who wanted me at first throw me aside like trash the next. Yeah, Sam. That would, you know, make me feel way better afterwards.”
“You don’t know that’s how he’d react.”
“You don’t know that’s how he wouldn’t,” he argued back.
He could imagine the hurt in Cas’s eyes clear as day. His little brother would be heartbroken again. No. It was better this way. For everyone.
“So, you’re, what, just going to let him keep thinking—”
“It’s better than the alternative,” pointed out the sandy-haired angel dryly.
“No. It’s not. What it is, Gabe, is the coward’s way out. I thought you were braver than that.”
“Brave?” scoffed the archangel, pressing a hand to his chest. “Sam, now you’re just—” The words cut out instantly when Sam leaned down into his face, practically stealing his non-needed breath away. Holy hell.
“When you told me you cared for me, you were scared then, but you still told me. So, I’m asking you, reach down deep and find that part of you again . . . and tell him, Gabriel.” Sam then pressed a finger hard against his chest. “Or else you are just like everyone else in his life. Like Dean and me. Like Lucifer. Like your dad. Tell him. Or you and me . . .” He leaned even closer until their foreheads were nearly touching. “We’re done. Because all I would ever remember about you is how you were just like Dean is with me. Too damn scared to trust your own brother. Always underestimating him. Never seeing him as the man he is. Always treating him like a kid.” He then pulled back sharply and straightened up, glancing down at the shocked archangel. “You do that, Gabe, then come find me and we’ll talk. Otherwise, there’s nothing more we have to say to one another.” He turned away a moment later and silently walked out of the War Room.
Amber eyes stared at the empty entryway Sam had disappeared behind. A few moments passed before the archangel sighed loudly and tossed his head back with a groan.
“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath. He closed his eyes, inhaling slowly. Even though it was absolute blackmail, he couldn’t deny it was exactly the thing he needed to hear in order to get his ass into gear. Sam was—unfortunately—right on this. It would likely hurt Cas more later if someone else told him than to hear it from Gabriel himself.
He considered calling out, but he decided against it. Angel Radio would likely work for this.
“Baby bro, you awake?” he sent through their angelic link.
“Gabriel?” Cas sounded a bit more staticky than usual, but it was clearly him.
The older brother chuckled quietly, bringing a hand up to drag across his face. “Yeah. Think you can see me in the War Room for a second? There’s something I need to tell you.” When he didn’t hear a reply, he sighed inwardly. Had Cas’s Grace dipped low again? He supposed he might have enough energy to make his way down to the dorms to talk. Maybe.
Sound of heavy footfalls echoing down the hallway a second later, though, gave him his answer. Gabriel waited, his anxiety starting to skyrocket somewhat as the seconds passed. It was exactly thirty seconds later his little brother came flying into the room with wild blue eyes. When he noticed the raven locks of hair sticking up every which way, he raised a brow.
“You know, when I suggested spending time alone with him, I didn’t mean have sex, Cassie.”
Cerulean eyes flashed back with a spark of Grace in response. “We weren’t.” He then huffed and shook his head, crossing the room purposefully.
“Eh, your hair sort of says otherwise.”
His little brother rolled his eyes dramatically. “What do you want?”
“Jeez. Can’t a big brother talk to his—”
“Gabriel,” the Seraph warned with a mild glare.
“Fine.” He sighed inwardly and shrugged. “Let’s rip off this Band-Aid then, shall we?”
“Band-Aid?” repeated Castiel, his head tilting to the side in obvious puzzlement.
“Dad didn’t create you to be the Winchester’s Yoda, all right?” He groaned when his brother’s head tilted even more. Honestly. Eleven years on Earth, and the angel still didn’t know the greats. He tried to think of something either Dean or Sam would have had him watch. “Ah.” He grinned widely as one came to him. Sam loved Harry Potter. Clearly, at some point, Sam had to have Cas watch it with him, right? “You’re not the Hermione Granger of this story. Understand?”
“What?”
Gabriel glanced upwards at the ceiling and groaned. What the actual fuck? “Sam never made you watch the Harry Potter series? Seriously?” He had watched it more than a few times with the tall hunter in fact. He had assumed it was a rite of passage they had for all wayward angels.
“I-I’m not following.”
“What about Lord of the Rings? Please tell me they made you watch Lord of the Rings!”
If they hadn’t, the archangel was going to have some serious words with those boys. Eleven years! Eleven! And they hadn’t taught his brother a thing about the greats!
Castiel frowned more. “They haven’t, but I’m aware of it. Why?”
Gabriel scoffed but shrugged. “I’ll take it.” He then drew in an unnecessary breath. “You are not their Gandalf. Okay?”
“All right.” The dark-haired angel seemed even more confused by this.
“Cas, I know you think Dad—he didn’t—it wasn’t like that.”
Oh, this was going so swell. He’d be lucky if he didn’t make the younger angel question everything in the end with the way this was going. Okay. He just needed to slow it down. Start again.
“Like what?”
“Dad didn’t create you for some grand story. To be a part of the Winchester Gospels and all that.” He swallowed when he saw the blue eyes meeting his. Cas almost looked horrified by his words. “He created you, um, well, for me.” When he saw Cas take a step back, he sighed heavily. Yeah. “I know. I’m a horrible, shitty brother. You don’t have to tell me. Trust me. I know.”
Cas brushed off his words, though, and asked, “What do you mean, ‘He created you for me?”
Amber eyes fell back to the floor. Well, so far Cas was taking this well. The angel wasn’t shoving him against a wall, stabbing him repeatedly—or crying. He would smite himself if his little brother started crying. He hated it when Cas cried. Though, he supposed that while there weren’t tears, yet, he may as well keep going. For now.
“I asked Dad to make me a brother. One I could guide and protect and love and you know.” The words came faster out of his mouth to destroy the terrible silence that was around them. “I was lonely, Cas, and felt sad. So, Dad, h-he made you for me.” Hesitantly, he lifted his head back up to look at the Seraph. “I added the last ingredient, which he said would be just a drop of my Grace. And I did. And about thirty seconds later I was the big brother to a little tiny ball of light—you.”
Cas stared back at him. No emotion was evident anywhere on the angel. Not his face. Not in his eyes. Not even in his wings. He just stared back, devoid of everything. Like a robot almost.
“You asked Chuck,” he breathed out a few seconds later “to create me?”
“Yeah.” Gabriel then sighed heavily. “And then in typical jackass fashion, I abandoned you. Left you to the damn wolves because I didn’t have the balls to stick around.” He leaned forward, grabbing a part of the table to steady himself as he pushed himself up to stand. He brushed off the slight bit of pain that had resulted from his actions. “Cas, I’m sorry. I know you must hate me right now, but I’m sorry. If I could go back, I would. I’d fix it. I’d take you with me. You and Balthazar. The rest of them—whatever, screw them, but you two—” His voice cracked as his eyes fell back to the floor. “I’m sorry.”
He was so goddamn sorry about all of it.
“Why?” the Seraph asked quietly, regaining his attention.
“Why what?” He waited for Cas to elaborate, but it seemed that the younger angel couldn’t get the words out. “Why would I ask to have a brother?” He didn’t wait to see if that was the correct question. He just dove headfirst into it. “Because I remembered what it felt like to have Lucifer as a big brother. You know, before he went all dark that is. How nice it felt to be loved and needed and that,” rambled the youngest archangel. “Raphael couldn’t care less about me if he tried. And Michael was all about sucking up to Dad. And with Lucifer being corrupted by the Mark, telling me he didn’t have time for me anymore, I—” He sighed heavily, his head falling forward pathetically.
He could feel the tears stinging in his eyes, but still he trudged forward. He had come this far. He could go just a bit further. Cas deserved it. After what he did to him at least.
“I just wanted to have someone I could care for and who cared about me. That’s it,” Gabriel confessed. “So when Dad and I made you, I had never been happier, Castiel. I finally had someone to teach all my tricks to, to show off for, to go flying with, to spar with and not have to worry about being stabbed in the back, you name it. And then Dad created Balthazar, and—” Gabriel choked out a laugh, recalling those days from so long ago. “I thought we’d rule the world, us three. And then reality hit.”
It hit harder than any blade ever would. He could recall the moment he saw Michael and Lucifer fighting with Raphael standing off to the side looking on impassively. He remembered the snarled words of hatred his two older brothers spewed at one another. The sounds of their blades when they crashed together violently. He could hear Michael’s barked orders at Raphael and him, echoing in his mind still to that day. How Michael wanted them to join in and cast Lucifer down into Hell because their Father commanded it. Because Lucifer was lost, fallen so deeply he was beyond saving.
In that moment, Gabriel could only think of his little brothers, one of stormy blue and one of steel grey. Would he at some point have to do the same to them because ‘God commanded it?’ He felt the swift punch to his gut as his Grace recoiled at the thought.
“And I-I just couldn’t. I told Balthazar to look after you. To keep you safe. Even though he was the younger of you two. And I left.”
He huffed a heartbreaking mirthless laugh, drawing in a shaky breath. He met the brilliant blues watching him silently. What was Cas thinking, he wondered? The damn brat was hiding his emotions perfectly right then, which only made Gabriel ramble more.
“I told myself you’d be fine,” admitted the archangel quietly. “You were strong after all. You had Balthazar too, so you weren’t alone. You’d forget about me in time, and you did.”
“Forget you?” Castiel repeated rather hushed. “They wiped you from my memory, Gabriel!” His eyes narrowed as his head shook. “They tore into my mind time after time to erase you. To erase everything that made me broken, that made me rebel.”
“I know,” replied the older brother remorsefully.
“No.”
Gabriel’s eyes darted to the younger angel instantly. No? What did he mean by that?
“You don’t, brother. You couldn’t possibly know what I’ve gone through at their hands.” His frown deepened as he raised his chin up slightly in defiance.
“Cas—”
“But I accept your apology nonetheless.” His head dipped forward slowly, azure eyes downcast. “You made a stupid choice. Who here among us hasn’t?”
Amber eyes blinked in surprise.
“Not to mention, you may not have known what would transpire, but you’re here trying to make up for it now. I would be foolish not to see that.” The blue-eyed angel sighed quietly. “Then there’s the fact that you could have left. You could have gone anywhere else, but you came here.” He gave a small smile. “While I know Sam was the real reason for your return to the bunker, I do appreciate the time we have together as well.” He then huffed a gentle laugh. “Even though you believe you need to tease me over everything.”
Gabriel shrugged with a deep, tearful chuckle. “It’s the big brother in me. What can I say?”
Castiel nodded sharply. “Are you truly all right then?” His blue eyes swept over him critically. “I admit I’ve been focused solely on Dean, assuming Sam would—”
“I’m good,” interrupted the sandy-haired archangel with a faint, somber smile. It was touching to see the younger care about him. “Nothing sleep won’t be able to fix at least.” He then drew in another needless breath, suppressing the urge to wince at another sharp pain flaring up. “How’s Dean doing anyway? You letting him rest like I suggested?”
“Yes. Though, he didn’t want to initially,” Cas admitted.
“I bet.”
The elder Winchester was likely like he was now. Wanting to make sure everyone was okay before finally sleeping. Gabriel silently laughed, his lip curling slightly. Since when did he care about others? Could it be he was finally growing up? He watched his younger brother for a moment, his palm pressed hard against the table to keep himself upright.
He could almost make out the worry lines in Cas’s face. But it was the exhaustion that gave him the most pause. The young Seraph almost seemed dead on his feet.
“Castiel?”
Rich, vibrant sapphires darted upwards to meet his. “Yes?”
“Help me to my room, will you?”
His brother’s head tilted for a brief moment before the Seraph nodded firmly. “Of course.” He stepped up to his side, offering his support.
Gabriel bit back everything that told him not to—ignoring the voices that told him how weak he was being—and leaned heavily against his younger brother’s side. He winced again, inhaling sharply when his ribs jerked with pain suddenly. He could tell by Cas’s sudden rigidness the angel had noticed his pain as well, but thankfully the blue-eyed brat didn’t comment on it. Together, they slowly walked out of the War Room.
They had to pause a few times, some so Cas could catch his breath and some for Gabriel, but eventually the heavenly brothers made it to Gabriel’s room. Cas kicked open the door before he led them inside, nearly dragging the archangel across the floor. Gabriel’s strength had given out long ago unfortunately, forcing the younger Seraph to take the brunt of it, which Cas did without complaint. Gabriel gave a soft smile when he saw Cas snap his fingers with a curt smirk, his clothes changing into a set of airy, satin pajamas decorated with moose silhouettes. And that was why Cassie would always be his favorite brother. The second the archangel had swung his feet up a second later and settled into his bed, he sighed heavily, grabbing his brother’s arm when the younger turned to leave.
“Cas?”
“Yes?” Blue eyes narrowed on him for a moment.
“For what it’s worth,” said quietly Gabe, his eyes heavy with fatigue, “I don’t think you losing your Grace is you Falling.” The finger-snap earlier proved his theory. At least partially.
Castiel rolled his eyes and shook his head silently. “Rest, brother.”
It was obvious the brat didn’t believe him for an instant. Gabriel could understand that, he supposed. After all, Falling was the big bad threat superiors used in Heaven all the time to get disobedient angels back under control. ‘Do not doubt your orders or you will Fall and live as a human!’ Gabriel himself had used it on Cas a few times back then. Not that it ever worked. The brat was too interested in humans. Falling was supposed to be the thing all angels were afraid to experience. But Cas had fallen long ago, hadn’t he? And he was still kicking. So, what did it matter really?
But it did matter, and Gabriel knew it.
“Castiel, please.”
His brother sighed heavily, glancing upwards before he inclined his head.
“As you wish,” muttered the brat. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, facing him. “What do you believe this is then?”
“You evolving.”
“Wonderful,” huffed the Seraph with another annoyed roll of his eyes.
“It is. Because you’ll be free of Dad, Cas.” Gabriel gave him a kind, feeble smile. He pushed aside his exhaustion, needing to get the words out. “You are the only angel—the only one—who wasn’t made solely by him. You have my Grace in you. And you have the Winchesters and their merry band of misfits who have influenced you along the way. And you have, little brother, a piece of Dean’s soul entwined in your Grace.” He noticed the confused head tilt from the younger angel, so he continued. “When you retrieved him, his soul and your Grace seared together in Hell. It reinforced itself in Purgatory. It amassed in Heaven. And the aggregation of these experiences became so strong in the Empty that it led to them fusing together as one in Paradise—here on Earth.”
Castiel stared at him for a few moments silently before he snorted. He clapped a hand over his mouth, but it wasn’t long before he was nearly doubled over in loud, muffled laughter. His shoulders shook violently as he tried to hold back his amusement.
“What?”
Gabriel failed to see what the damn imp found so damn funny here exactly. Everything he said was true. Dean and Cas’s Profound Bond had grown so much stronger than the last time he had seen it.
“Aggregations of these experiences?” repeated the blue-eyed brat through snorted chuckles.
Gabriel huffed, crossing his arms. That was what the dumbass was laughing about?
“Yeah, so? How’s that funny?”
“It’s something Sam would say, not you,” Cas answered, shaking his head as he continued to laugh quietly.
“Hey! I have an extensive vocabulary!” argued the youngest archangel. “I may not use it all the damn time like you, but—”
“No,” interrupted the blue-eyed Seraph, gently resting a hand on his arm. His laughter had quickly subsided, giving way to a relaxed, amused smile. “I mean no harm. I merely find it endearing, as would Sam.”
“Again, you’re not the only damn angel who knows fancy words,” he gripped, huffing silently. “Your big brother knows some as well and probably could out-vocab you, smartass. So, put that in your pipe and smoke it.” The second he caught his little brother’s rapid blinking followed by a slight head tilt to the left, he groaned inwardly.
Fucking Winchesters.
“Why would I want to smoke anything, Gabriel?”
The archangel pointed at the door and glared.
“Out. Just . . . out.” He caught his brother’s baby blues narrow in confusion, but the younger angel thankfully listened and headed for the door. Cas was nearly into the hallway before Gabe called him back. “Cassie?”
“Yes?” The messy-haired man turned back, still looking as confused as ever.
“Get some sleep yourself, will you?” He forced an uneasy chuckle when he saw Cas’s eyes widen. “You look like shit, kiddo.”
“Well, you don’t look particularly well either, Gabriel,” bristled the brat with a huff before he stormed away.
Amber eyes rolled. Always so damn dramatic. The sandy-haired archangel stretched out in the warm bed, groaning at the flickers of pain that had resulted from that movement. He hated it when his Grace dipped this low. It was nothing against humanity of course. They just felt too much pain for his liking honestly. Emotions he could handle. Not well, but he could deal with them. Pain, though—ugh, next please!
Closing his eyes, he rolled onto his side, hissing at another flare up. The sooner he fell asleep, the better it would be. And yet his mind wandered.
The hunt had started out normal at least. And all evidence had pointed to vampires. Decapitation. He could do that easily, blindfolded and hands behind his back. But then the other thing rushed out of nowhere off to his left and headed straight for Sam. He barely had time to see it let alone identify it before he threw his arms around the rushing monster and sent them flying far from the long-haired hunter Gabe could barely keep his eyes off these days.
As an archangel, he was able to scan the surrounding area and identify all threats. It was what made them fierce warriors of God. So, why had Gabriel not seen the other monsters who showed up? He could excuse his little brother’s mistake, knowing that the Seraph had some Grace issues sometimes. But he didn’t have that reasoning. Did he?
He scratched the back of his head, pondering that question for quite some time. Was he Falling? Was that what this was? He flexed his fingers and felt the power of his Grace inside. It felt like it usually did, only a little bit more drained than usual. Which all things considered wasn’t beyond understanding really. He had gotten his ass handed to him by monsters. They all had in some way.
His eyes flicked to the door suddenly. A small smile graced his lips at the feel of the calming presence of the youngest Winchester brother approaching. He waited patiently, wiggling slightly against the sheets in anticipation. He bit back yet another hiss of pain and grumbled how stupid it was to feel so much pain currently when he actually wasn’t that badly injured all things considered.
A quiet knock against the door followed by a slow opening finally revealed the tall, long-haired man a moment later.
“Hey.”
Gabriel watched Sam hesitantly hover by the door before he shoved his hands in his sweatpants’ pockets awkwardly. The human clearly was battling with himself about something.
“Is it my birthday or something?” quipped the sandy-haired man after the minutes of silence had gotten to him, his easy smile widening.
“What?”
“Sam-aphrodisiac, you’re standing in my door. In your sweats. At night. While I’m in bed.”
Hazel eyes rolled loudly before the hunter snorted and stepped inside, shutting the door quietly behind him. He raised a hand when Gabriel started to push himself upwards.
“Don’t get your hopes up. Nothing’s happening here.”
“Pity.” Gabe kept his tone light, teasingly almost. “It’d probably heal me faster than sleep.”
“I’m sure,” Sam remarked, grabbing a chair and dragging it over to Gabriel’s bedside. He stared at him for a few more moments in silence before he sighed heavily. “You told him.”
“Well, yeah. Didn’t want blue balls—”
“Gabe!” he cried, hazel eyes sparkling in laughter. “God, do you even hear yourself?”
“Sometimes. I make it a habit not to, though,” he remarked back, grinning more. Sam’s soul was shining brightly. His hunter was happy, content, albeit a little nervous too. “So, what brings you to my room, hmm?” His eyebrows wiggled. “Are you going to watch over me, Sam?” he asked suggestively.
“No.”
Gabriel sighed heavily. “Well, that sucks then.”
“Why did you tell him? Was it just solely because of what I said or . . .?”
Amber eyes narrowed slightly. “You mean, did I tell my little brother the truth because I thought it’d make you fall into bed with me so we could make little Nephilims?” The archangel laughed, rolling his eyes at the other man’s grimace. “No, Sam. I told him because you were right. He needed to know. And he took it a lot better than I thought he would. You just said the right lines to get my ass into gear. But I’m not looking to use this as a quid pro quo thing.”
“Quid pro quo?” Sam repeated, raising a brow at him.
“Oh for the love of Dad. Not you too!” he groaned. “I know words. Fancy ass words. Hell, I was the reason they invented the word—”
“Gabriel!” interjected Sam, throwing up a hand. “I really don’t want to hear what sexual term you helped invent.”
The archangel huffed. “Shows how much you know. Not everything about me is about sex.”
Sam crossed his arms and raised a brow challengingly. “Oh, really?”
“Yes.”
“So, you’re not the reason they invented the word ‘nymphomaniac’ then, Gabe?”
“No. Balthazar was,” he replied neutrally.
“What?”
Gabriel shook his head, ignoring the pain the best he could. “Oh, come on. That should have been obvious. He enjoyed his hedonistic lifestyle immensely. I think you even caught the tail end of it.”
Hazel eyes narrowed on him for a moment, working something out, before his eyes widened.
“You didn’t just watch over Cas, did you?”
Amber eyes darted to the clock on the far wall. Oh. Crap. Sometimes Sam was too smart for his own good. He’d have to tell Cas this too probably at some point.
“Gabe?”
He huffed in response and glanced upwards. His mouth always got him into trouble.
“Gabriel?” Sam repeated insistently.
“I’ll tell him later,” groaned the petulant archangel a moment later. “When I’m feeling better at least.” Which who knew when that would be honestly? It wasn’t as if anyone was letting him rest. Not that he wanted Sam to leave. Because he didn’t.
“What was the word?” asked his human not long after.
“Hmm?”
“The word you helped invent. What was it?”
Gabriel smirked, his eyes twinkling. “Sweet.”
“Of course it was. I should have known.” Sam chuckled quietly before he leaned back in his chair. “I’m glad you told him. He needed to hear that.”
“Yeah.” Amber eyes drank in the tall man stretching out. Oh, the thoughts that human of his caused. “So, not that I’m not happy you’re here, but . . .”
“You need to rest. I know.” Sam leaned forward and gently patted Gabe’s shoulder. “I should too.” He pushed himself up to stand and turned away.
Not wanting the man to leave quite yet, Gabe forced himself to push through his pain and pulled up the covers.
“Wanna be my little spoon tonight, Sam-moose?”
The younger man rolled his eyes again, snorting as he paused in leaving. He watched Gabriel for a few seconds before he walked back. The second he reached his bedside, he leaned over Gabriel with a faint, almost predatory-like smirk.
“Trust me, Gabe,” Sam coolly murmured. “You and me?” He pointed between them. “You’d be the little spoon. Always.” His smirk widened. “It’s a science thing.”
“Oh.” He swallowed, licking his lips. “I love it when you talk nerdy to me, Sam.”
Hazel eyes rolled in amusement before Sam turned away. “Night, Gabriel.”
“Good night, my beautiful moose who puts all other moose to shame for—”
“Honestly, do you ever stop?”
“Um, no. Not really,” he replied truthfully.
“They should have called you Gabriel, Angel of Sexual Harassment then.”
He shrugged, grimacing slightly as he moved to sit up. “Yeah, but it’s all for you, my tall, luscious-locked human lover, the Adonis to my Aphrodite.”
“Good night, Gabe!” Sam drawled, rolling his eyes even more as he walked back to the door with quietly chuckles.
“Good night, Sam!” yelled back the mischievous archangel, knowing that if he yelled loud enough his voice would carry through the bunker. “And thanks for the—”
“GABRIEL!”
He smirked. Yep. Still had it.