Work Text:
Hoseok’s been living with Jungkook for a little over a year now, and it’s worked very well for them so far. They both like to keep things clean, and they take turns cooking and washing dishes. So far communication has been pretty easy when it comes to chores, groceries, and when each of them are having friends over (even if most of their friends are mutual). And, conveniently, there have been no mishaps as far as walking in on anything inappropriate. Neither of them have dated anyone since they moved into their apartment, which has been very convenient as far as not having to be sexiled at any given time.
They’ve got their different reasons, of course. Jungkook has always been the romantic type, who talks about meeting his soulmate and hearing church bells like the dramas and red strings of fate on the regular. He expects to run into the person fated to him for life in a coffee shop, or on the street, and just magically know they’re the one. Jungkook will talk dreamily all day and night about someone who will confess to him on a mountain top over a candlelit picnic, or write a song for him and sing it on TV, tell him they love him loud and proud and every day, something big and elaborate and so, so public.
Meanwhile Hoseok… well Hoseok hasn’t dated because he’s been in love with Jungkook. Not the ideal situation he imagined when they had started talking about moving in together, but it’s the situation he’s in. And as much as Hoseok sweeps his feelings under a rug, it seems there’s no escaping them when Jungkook’s always there, constantly reminding him just why he fell in love in the first place.
Jungkook is one of the sweetest, most genuine people Hoseok has ever met, and Hoseok is sure he would have fallen for him eventually. Living together just sped up the process. The problem now is that Jungkook would never view him in the same light. Jungkook didn’t hear any church bells when they first met, he doesn’t feel like they’ve got that string of fate. But truthfully, Hoseok knows he’d never be right for Jungkook.
Sweeping someone off of their feet and making grand gestures has never been Hoseok’s way of loving. He’s more likely to do little things for someone here and there, use small gestures to show someone he loves them. Even if Jungkook asked him to shout his love from the rooftop, Hoseok doesn’t think he could do it. Those kinds of things are just… overwhelming for him. It’s hard for him to even say “I love you” sometimes. Yet, that’s exactly the kind of expectations Jungkook has for a relationship, which means Hoseok doesn’t fit the bill.
And that’s okay. It really is. Hoseok knew Jungkook’s quirks and he fell for him despite all of that. Of course, his friends think differently, but it isn’t their burden to bear. Unless maybe you’re Kim Seokjin, who makes it a point to make all of Hoseok’s problems his own, even if the problem happens to be his younger brother.
___
It starts with a visit to Seokjin’s.
Jungkook face-plants into the couch as soon as he walks in, one arm dangling off and feet hanging over the foot rest while Seokjin cooks dinner in the kitchen. He doesn’t even bother asking Jungkook what’s wrong because he knows the younger will tell him anyway, as soon as he’s done yelling into his couch cushions. And, sure enough, a couple minutes later while Seokjin plates their food, Jungkook pushes himself up, hair all over his face and looks at his brother.
“Hyung!” He whines pathetically, but Seokjin doesn’t spare him a glance. “Hyung, why can’t I find the love of my life? Is it so hard? I just want to be able to look at someone and know they’re the one I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with, y’know? Is that so much to ask for? Are my standards too high?”
Promptly plopping back down on the couch, he lets out one more, whiny scream before Seokjin is announcing dinner is ready and Jungkook is sliding off the couch and joining him at the table.
“I don’t think those are unrealistic standards as much as they’re story-book idealistic, JK.” The pout on his face tells Seokjin that his brother disagrees, but it’s nothing he hasn’t heard before. Jungkook knows that’s not how things work, but he has hopes, nonetheless. Seokjin shoves some japchae in his mouth while glaring at Jungkook until he does the same.
“I just want someone to, like. Love me so much they’d shout it off a mountaintop. Or write me a song, or do one of those radio confessions, or something crazy you know?” he explains before he takes a big bite, humming slightly as he chews.
Seokjin knows. He does. And he gets it, somewhat, because that’s the kind of thing his own boyfriend does for him, and he eats it up even if he complains about being embarrassed. But there’s just... a slight problem.
“You know, JK… I understand wanting grand gestures, but what if your soulmate didn’t like those kinds of things? You can’t rule out all the little gestures someone does for you.” Seokjin takes another bite of food and powers through. “I cook you a meal every week to show my love to you, and that’s not grand in any way. But you obviously appreciate it.” He tacks the last sentence on under his breath, watching Jungkook wolf down his home cooking with wide eyes.
“Ew, hyung, are you trying to tell me you’re my soulmate? That’s gross,” Jungkook jokes. Seokjin threatens him loudly over the table, but he ignores him in favor of shoving more food into his mouth and think about what his brother told him seriously. The time it takes to chew and swallow lets him process what Seokjin told him, at least, thinking it over until he washes it down.
“Little gestures?”
Over the subject, Seokjin shrugs. “Just think about it. Maybe your so-called soulmate has been right under your nose this whole time, and you’ve just been too focused on the grander things in life.”
___
Jungkook has a lot to think about. More so than usual, probably. He tries not to think too much in general, but then his Seokjin-hyung had to go and say something thoughtful and suddenly he can’t stop thinking about it. Could he have already met his soulmate? And just… been too blinded by his big ideals of storybook romance? Has he been too blinded by the passions of people who aren’t real to pay any attention to the people right in front of him? Jungkook sits on that one for a while.
Particularly, he sits on the couch and plays rom-com drama reruns on the television while he’s burritoed in his favorite cosy blanket and sips on some banana milk while he thinks very, very deeply about all the people in his life. But thinking about it now, he can’t think of anyone like that. All of his friends take care of him in their own ways, but nothing that sticks out to him. He sighs, taking another big sip of the carton of banana milk and tosses the empty carton onto the coffee table.
Hoseok comes home then, the loud beep of the door unlocking and Hoseok’s contained shuffling as he takes off his shoes and carefully places them on the shoe rack. Jungkook doesn’t pay too much attention, lost in thought and staring at the screen where the male love interest begs for a second chance.
In the next minute Hoseok is handing him a brand new package of banana milk, covered in condensation and slightly warm from Hoseok’s walk between the convenience store and home. It takes Jungkook a moment to process, because he wasn’t expecting a package, and he looks up at Hoseok who has a warm smile one his face.
“Your texts were short so I figured it was a bad day.” He walks away to put the rest of his small grocery run in the fridge, and Hoseok cranes his head slightly to watch him. “Looks like I got home just in time, too. The fridge is barren of all your comfort food,” Hoseok jokes, and Jungkook watches him put away a few veggies, some ice cream into the freezer, a few ramen cups and chips into the cupboard. When he turns back around and sees Jungkook still looking at him, he tosses the last item he’s holding, a box of pepero.
The blanket burrito nearly prevents him from catching it before it can hit him in the face, but Jungkook manages to worm his hand out in time to block it. Hoseok cackles and starts to walk off to his room before Jungkook can thank him, so he turns back to the TV instead. Refuses to acknowledge the way his chest clenches and ears burn in favor of returning to his thoughts.
___
Exam season is around the corner, which means Jungkook has locked himself in his room and turned on the lofi anime hip hop beats to relax/study to. He’s been bent over his desk for a few hours now, hammering through his digital editing textbook and going over everything he knew he missed in past tests. His throat’s a little parched and his hand is smeared with graphite but he doesn’t want to break his concentration, knows it would be hard to come back to his desk and continue working.
That’s when a soft knock comes from the door, and Hoseok cracks it open. “Kook? I ordered Jjajangmyeon.” He steps farther in, and Jungkook can smell the food now. It instantly makes his mouth water, and he swallows around it before turning around and taking it from Hoseok. He’s smiling, of course, always smiling, and he’s got a glass of water in his other hand, holding it out for Jungkook to take once he’s placed the bowl onto his desk.
“I haven’t seen you come out of your room for a while, so I figured you’d be hungry. Which course are you working on now?” He comes around to peek at the book Jungkook’s got laying opened on his desk, peeking at the cover while Jungkook begins to stir the sauce into his steaming noodles.
“Advanced digital editing. I made sure to get the worst of the classes out of the way first, but at least I enjoy this one,” he tells Hoseok before pausing to really look at his bowl. “Did you get extra pork belly?”
Hoseok hums and nods, still looking at Jungkook’s study material curiously. He’s always been interested in what Jungkook studies, curious about his projects and classes, asking about how they’re going and volunteering to help be in videos if Jungkook needs a subject. And Jungkook enjoys talking about what he’s working on, bouncing ideas off of Hoseok even if he doesn’t really understand.
Jungkook starts slurping at his noodles while Hoseok delicately flips through a couple pages of the textbook, making sure to save the page Jungkook was on, before putting it back to how it was and stepping away. His smile isn’t his big heart-shaped one but it’s a smile that holds a lot of feeling when Hoseok turns to look at him and push some of his hair out of his eyes. A common gesture for him, but Jungkook can feel his face get warm (from the steamy noodles, he’s sure).
“Looks like you’re working hard, Kook-ah, I know you’ll do well on your exams.”
With that, Hoseok leaves, and Jungkook is left staring into his noodles with extra pork belly, alone in his bedroom once again. But this time with food and water to keep him in top studying shape.
___
Jungkook feels the weird sensation of being suspended mid air, moving, a warm comfort pressed against his own body. He comes half awake when he’s set down again, and he realises he’s been carried to bed, but his mind is too fuzzy with sleep to remember why he’d need to be carried in the first place.
The comforting warmth leaves him, and he can hear himself whining, and Hoseok’s quiet giggle as the sheets are lifted over him. “Did you want me to sleep with you tonight, Kook-ah?”
Jungkook nods, opening one eye to peek up at his hyung, but Hoseok was already climbing into the bed before he got an answer, hardly needing to ask in the first place. Hoseok nudges Jungkook as if to turn him around but Jungkook turns to face him instead, reaching to maneuver the older around until his back was pressed against his chest. It’s too easy to press his nose to the nape of Hoseok’s neck, smelling his shampoo and whatever smell that’s just so distinctly Hoseok that he can’t seem to get enough of.
He doesn’t see the red flush of Hoseok’s neck and ears in the dark, but Jungkook does feel the warmth of his skin as he cozies into it.
___
“Have you thought about what I said last week?” Seokjin asks inquisitively. Normally Jungkook would brush it off as him making conversation, but he’s got a look on his face that tells him he’s looking for a specific answer, and Jungkook knows him too well to ignore it.
“Why?”
Seokjin huffs out his nose, chewing his food, cheeks puffed out like a hamster’s. “Just curious, is all. You seemed pretty bothered about it, and I know you overthink things.” His older brother looks from his plate up to Jungkook like he’s trying to gage his expression.
It makes Jungkook frown, like he’s missing a big piece of this puzzle Seokjin is trying to put together for him. Sure, he’s thought about it, but he didn’t think about it as much after the first couple days. Just went about his days, had a lot of exams to study for that took up most of his mental capacity. There wasn’t a whole lot of time to reexamine his whole idea of what love looks at.
“A little bit, I guess. But I had to study for exams most of the week. Hoseokie-hyung took good care of me while I was studying, though.” Jungkook grins at his plate of food, remembering how Hoseok bought him food, ran him a bath, asked Jungkook to make sure he wasn’t being too loud. Always so caring, thoughtful, and generous. He probably had routines to practice for his lessons, but he made sure to wear headphones, and would check in every once in a while to make sure his footsteps weren’t too loud. Ridiculous, really, considering what a loud person Hoseok naturally seems to be, but that’s just how he is when it comes to caring for others.
Jungkook can hear his brother snort from across the table, and it pulls his gaze up from his plate. Seokjin’s shoulders are shaking, windshield-laugh going. “You’re hopeless, JK. Ahh, you’ll get it eventually,” he says wistfully like he’s an ancient scholar with infinite wisdom.
“What does that even mean?” Jungkook whines, not getting it. What is he missing? All he said was that Hoseok took good care of him, what does that have to do with-?
His thoughts stop in their tracks, and he looks from his brother back down to his food, slowly getting cold. He takes another bite. Chews slowly. Thinks about Hoseok. Hoseok, who takes really good care of him, quietly, in the safety of their apartment. Jungkook thinks about banana milk, and pocky, and cuddles when Jungkook doesn’t want to sleep alone. Maybe he thinks about that time Hoseok pet his hair until he fell asleep when he was really sick a couple of months ago, and when he sent him an indie movie his friends were talking about because he thought Jungkook would like it.
Jungkook could think about how Hoseok let him record his dancing for one of his filming projects, or when he pushed Jungkook’s hair out of his face and lingered for that extra second. But thinking about how Hoseok looks at him when Jungkook’s acting bratty makes his stomach flutter, and his face feels hot when he remembers how it feels when Hoseok pecks a kiss to his head or even neck.
Seokjin is laughing so hard he’s nearly falling out of his seat, but Jungkook refuses to acknowledge it. All he can think about is Hoseok, Hoseok, and Jung Hoseok. It’s like a smack to his face when he thinks back on all of his Hoseok-hyung’s ‘little gestures’ since they’ve moved in together. Has it been happening since they moved in together? Before, sometime after? When did things change? When Seokjin hits the table with a cackle, Jungkook realises something.
“Did you know, Hyung? How… how long?”
Seokjin takes a few breaths to calm himself down, fanning his pink face. His smile stays, but it turns teasing. “Oh, y’know, about a year now I’d say… I didn’t notice it until last month, though. Hoseok is sneakier than I gave him credit for.” He nods to himself, and takes a bite of his meal. “He was talking about you while we were hanging out and I realised that normal people don’t spend that much time talking about how their roommate slash friend looked when they went on a picnic together. That was really gay, by the way, I don’t know how you went on a late picnic by the river and listened to romantic songs all night and didn’t get the hint.”
His brother makes a fake gagging noise, and Jungkook huffs. “Hey! How was I supposed to know if he never told me?” He can feel how red his face has gotten, fiery embarrassment hot under his skin. “Does he… know, that you know? Did he admit it? What if you’re wrong?”
“Well, I had to make him tell me the truth if I was gonna start meddling. Can’t lead you to the wrong conclusions now, can I? He doesn’t know that I’m meddling though, or he would’ve stopped me,” Seokjin tsks. “Silly man can’t talk about his own feelings, how could I not?”
And that… makes Jungkook kind of mad. “Hyung, that’s not fair to Hoseok-hyung. Even if you mean well, those… those are his feelings and you can’t just do whatever you want with them. He doesn’t deserve that.”
Seokjin seems surprised by that, but he thinks about it and nods. “You’re right, Jungkookie. It wasn’t my thing to share. I just… didn’t want to see you both struggling so much. And knowing the two of you, this would have never been resolved without a little push. You were so in your head about all your soulmate nonsense, and he wanted to respect your feelings at the expense of his own.”
“And what if I didn’t like him back? What would you have done then?” Jungkook startles at his brother’s sudden laugh.
“You’ve had a crush on Hoseokie for years, Kook, don’t deny it now. You came up with all that true love and romance stuff just because you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, didn’t you? You’ve been so wrapped up in these ideas you’ve put in your own head that you didn’t realise that beneath all of it, you were just scared of your own feelings.” Jungkook watches Seokjin’s attitude shift to something more serious, smile becoming sadder. “I saw all that happen before my own eyes, yet I didn’t do anything because I knew you were just protecting yourself… but when I realised Hoseok actually, genuinely liked you, how was I supposed to stay out of it?”
That’s when Jungkook… really shuts down. Thinks back on when he first met Hoseok a few years ago, so bubbly and beautiful and bright. Remembers that Hoseok had a girlfriend at the time they met which would’ve made it terribly inappropriate to have a crush on him, let alone talk about it. Tries to remember when he started having all of these standards that were… suspiciously unlike Hoseok. The opposite of how he is, even.
The rest of their dinner goes by mostly quiet, until they’ve finished their food and wash the dishes together, and Seokjin is pulling Jungkook into a hug before he goes. “I’m sorry to dump all of this on you like that, JK. I just want you to be happy. I hope you understand.”
Jungkook nods because… he does understand. “It’s just… a lot to think about. I’ll call you later, Hyung.”
He doesn’t go home right away. Instead, he takes a bus to the movie theatre and buys a ticket to something he’s already seen to sit in the theatre and just. Think. Uninterrupted, away from the home he shares with Hoseok. There’s a lot to think back on, this time.
___
Jungkook isn’t home, and it’s beginning to worry Hoseok. It’s not like he’s particularly good about answering texts or calls, but usually he’ll let Hoseok know beforehand if he’s not going to be home till late, because Hoseok will worry. Like he’s doing now. Because it’s almost midnight, and there hasn’t been a single word from Jungkook since he said goodbye to him this morning before heading to work... Again, not unusual, but…. He isn’t home.
Hoseok racks his brain for anything Jungkook may have told him yesterday or the day before about going out somewhere tonight, but nothing comes to mind, until Hoseok remembers it’s Sunday. Jungkook must have gone to Seokjin’s for dinner.
Calling Seokjin immediately, it takes a few rings, but soon Seokjin’s voice is coming through the line and Hoseok lets out a sigh. “Hoseok? It’s kinda late, why are you calling?”
“Jin-hyung, Jungkookie isn’t home yet and I can’t get ahold of him, I have no clue where he could be. You saw him earlier, didn’t you? Did he say anything about going somewhere? Maybe with Jimin or Yoongi or-”
“Seok-ah, calm down. He didn’t mention going anywhere, but he did… seem like he had something on his mind. Maybe he’s just trying to clear his head?”
Hoseok’s heart clenches, worry bubbling up. “What if something happened to him, what if he got mugged or kidnapped or- or- Hyung I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him, I don’t know what-”
“Hyung?”
At the sound of the voice behind him Hoseok whips around to look at Jungkook behind him, a wave of relief washing over him. “Kook-ah,” he whispers, dropping his hands to his sides.
“Are you okay? You sounded really flustered, I- are you crying?”
A confused sound comes from Hoseok’s throat, but he rubs at his eyes and realises they are a little wet. “No,” he says, embarrassed now that Jungkook is in front of him. He was panicking for no reason, of course, but now Jungkook is here looking just fine and all of his panic has left him.
Jungkook frowns and steps closer. “You were, though, why were you crying? Seriously, are you okay?” He steps in to grab Hoseok’s empty hand, phone forgotten in the other.
Hoseok takes a deep breath. “I didn’t know where you were, or if you were okay.”
His eyes go wide with surprise. “I forgot to tell you I wouldn’t be home. I’m so, so sor-” Jungkook’s cut off by Hoseok pulling him into a hug, arms wrapping around Jungkook’s waist and face hiding in his neck.
“It’s fine, Jungkookie, I’m just being dramatic. I’m sorry you had to see me like this.” Hoseok sniffles, and he hates showing Jungkook just how vulnerable he is. The younger doesn’t deserve to deal with Hoseok’s insecurities.
“No, Hoseok-hyung, you’re not being dramatic. You’ve told me you get worried easily, I knew that, but I didn’t send you a simple text saying I wouldn’t be home… that was insensitive of me. When you take such good care of me, I… the least I could do is not make you worry.”
Jungkook’s words and voice are so sincere. Hoseok’s heart thumps, his ears feel hot. He realises the situation he’s put himself in, holding onto Jungkook so closely, not in the dark of one of their rooms at night but out in their living room, fully awake and under the bright ceiling light. It makes him want to shy away, but it feels so good to be holding Jungkook like this, and Jungkook is holding him just as tightly. Until Jungkook lets out a shaky breath, loosening his hold just slightly and leaning away. The feeling of loss is immediate, but Jungkook doesn’t let go of him completely. Jungkook’s hands start at Hoseok’s shoulders, slide down his arms, cups Hoseok’s hands in his own.
“Actually… Hoseok-hyung, I don’t really know if this is the right time, but I wanted to talk to you about something. Or more like, tell you something.” Jungkook sounds stiff, looks a little tense, even. But what confuses Hoseok more is the light pink dusting his cheeks, and how he’s avoiding eye contact.
It gets Hoseok’s heart racing, thinking of all the things he could have done to tip Jungkook off on his feelings. It’s been such a hectic week, but he feels like he hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary to make Jungkook realise. Maybe he took care of the younger during his exams, but he always does around exam time. He brought Jungkook comfort food, but that’s not abnormal when Hoseok notices he’s upset. They sleep in the same bed almost regularly, so that couldn’t have been it, could it?
All of Hoseok’s little insecurities rush through his mind. If Jungkook did somehow figure it out… he’s trying to let him down gently. Hoseok isn’t Jungkook’s type, has never been romantic enough for him, never triggered those silly feelings of first love and wedding bells.
The last thing Hoseok is expecting is for Jungkook to say-
“I’m in love with you.”
Hoseok’s face goes blank, his mind shuts down. All he can think is that he’s dreaming. Imagining things, imagining Jungkook’s voice saying words just because that’s what he wants to hear. But Jungkook is looking at him expectantly, nervously waiting for a reply, and all Hoseok can squeak out is a “what?”
Jungkook’s nose scrunches up, and Hoseok instantly regrets it. “I’m sorry, I thought- I-”
“Jungkook, hold on, just- just wait a second. I’m processing.” Hoseok has to take a deep breath as Jungkook looks at him, face tinged the cutest shade of pink and eyes sparkling hopefully. “You… say it again?”
“I’m… in love with you.” Jungkook is much shyer this time, face growing more pink, but it makes Hoseok laugh. He’s cute, so cute , and this is so beyond what Hoseok was expecting.
“I love you too,” Hoseok whispers. It slips out of his mouth before he can even realise, and it came easier than it thought it would. But when he’s been holding it in for so long, how could he stop himself? “How long, Jungkook? I was so sure- what about soulmates? And bells ringing, and true love, and- I don’t think I can give you what you want,” he realizes out loud, and Hoseok’s smile drops from his face, heart dropping to his stomach. Jungkook is mistaken, surely.
“No, Hoseok-hyung, I haven’t made any mistakes. I only realised today, but I think I’ve liked you for… a very long time. Sure, love at first sight sounds cool, but it’s just a fantasy I came up with to tell myself that it couldn’t be you. I let myself get too wrapped up in my own delusional idea of what I thought romance was supposed to be, and forgot all I really wanted was right under my nose.”
Hoseok studies Jungkook’s face, without shying away from it or doing it secretly like he’s done one too many times. He’s familiar with it by now, but this is the serious side of Jungkook he doesn’t get to see as often. Just goes to show how mature he is, under his cheery playfulness and endless energy. “It sounds like you thought about this a lot,” he says.
“As long as it takes to sit in on three Frozen 2 showings in a row,” Jungkook tells him, and Hoseok bursts with laughter.
“Is that where you’ve been all night!? And here I was worried about you! Did you seriously pay for three tickets to the same movie? Hadn’t you already seen it twice?”
Jungkook whines, serious face fading and shaking his and Hoseok’s hands. “I just wanted a place to think by myself! I didn’t pay for all of them either, I just paid for the first one and jumped into the next showings. Why would I pay for it three times?”
There’s no point in scolding him, Hoseok knows, but he teases anyway, until his laughter fades and they both stand there, grinning at each other. It’s freeing, having their feelings out in the open. Hoseok never thought he’d get here, but Jungkook is smiling at him so warmly, and hasn’t let him go in so long, he feels like he can believe in this. In them.
“Hoseok-hyung, will you be my boyfriend?”
Hoseok leans in as Jungkook does, just slightly, their foreheads pressing together. He closes his eyes to savor the moment, the warmth, the gentle intimacy of just existing in Jungkook’s space. “Of course I will. On one condition.”
Jungkook pulls back, confused. “What?”
“You have to be honest and tell me. Did Seokjin have something to do with this sudden confession?”
Eyes wide, Jungkook bites his lip nervously. “Uh… no?”
“Your reaction tells it all,” Hoseok laughs. “Come here, you.”
He pulls Jungkook in again, but this time their lips meet in the middle, a soft promise to each other. “I love you,” Hoseok whispers. And it’s just as easy as the first time.