Work Text:
It was well after midnight. Which meant it was well after curfew, but Peter couldn’t bring himself to go home. Not yet. He instead was perched on a column just on the edge of St. Vincent graveyard. He couldn’t quite bring himself to enter, but the feeling that he needed to weighed heavy on him. Taking a deep breath, he whispered a quiet, “Sorry Uncle Ben.” And shot a web and headed off towards home. He stopped to intervene on a robbery which was standard, and he wrapped up quickly. He then webbed himself the rest of the way home.
Since he was an hour over curfew it wasn’t surprising that the phone rang within minutes of him arriving.
“Hey Mr. Stark.” He answered forcing enthusiasm into his voice.
“It’s 1 am and a school night.” Was the reply.
Peter sighed. “Sorry. I lost track of time.”
“You lost track of time for an hour?”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“If it wasn’t Thursday night I would have come and got you. But tomorrows Friday and you can catch up on sleep over the weekend since you won’t be Spidermanning till Monday.”
Peter sighed. “Right.” He ran a hand over his face. “Can I still come for lab time or am I stuck in the apartment?”
There was a long pause on the other end then, “Come for lab time.”
Peter nodded, even though Tony couldn’t see it. “See you Saturday.” He said and ended the call before Tony could ask any more. He took a shower and changed to be ready for bed. He climbed in and covered himself with an extra blanket and closed his eyes, but sleep didn’t come easy and he tossed and turned for a long while.
The next morning, he reset his alarm so many times he was late to homeroom. Ned was sitting next to him. “Did you sleep at all last night?” He asked getting a look at the circles under his eyes.
“I’m fine.”
“Peter.”
“I’m fine.” He snapped.
“I’m going to go sit with MJ.” Ned said hurt. He grabbed his bag and headed to their other friend.
Peter sighed and slouched down in his seat. His desire to go unnoticed didn’t work, because Flash was there a minute later taking the seat Ned had been in. “What’s up Penis Parker?”
“Go away Flash.”
“Why, I’m just asking how you’re doing.” He said with a fake smile.
“Go away.” Peter ground out.
“I think I’ll ask to be switched to this seat from now on.”
Peter made an unintelligible noise before grabbing his backpack and heading out of the room.
“Mr. Parker. Homeroom isn’t over yet.” He ignored her and made it to the door. “Mr. Parker! You can’t just leave.” The teacher said frantically as Peter exited the door.
Having walked out of class he decided it would be better to not be in school at all, so he made his way out of the building and down the street.
He found himself drawn to the cemetery again. Reluctantly he entered and made his way towards the tombstones of his Uncle and parents. When he got close, he was glad he was paying attention because May was there. He moved back quickly and hid behind a big tree. His super hearing picking up on what she was saying.
“I miss you so much, love. Peter is growing into such a great young man; you would be proud of him. He makes me so proud. You always knew he was meant for great things, and he is doing them. I wish you were here to see it. Well, I’ll see you again tomorrow.” She said standing from where she knelt. “Tell my parents I said hi. I love you Benjamin Parker to the moon and back and further than that.”
Peter watched until long after she walked away. He was so close, but he couldn’t go over. Ben wouldn’t be proud of him. Peter knew this. He’d kept a secret for the past year and every day it threatened to ruin his life. He pretended to be good, played at being spiderman, but he knew better. Taking a deep breath, he turned and made his way out of the cemetery once again not able to face it.
Not knowing what else to do he decided to go for broke and put his spiderman uniform on and went patrolling for a while.
It had only been fifteen minutes, enough time to help an old lady cross the street and stop someone who tried to stiff the coffee cart., when Tony called.
“Why aren’t you in school?” Tony asked without preamble.
“Good morning to you too Mr. Stark.” Peter said with false cheer.
“Drop the act Parker. You’re skipping school and on patrol. I want to know why.”
“May gave me permission.” He said thinking fast.
“So, if I call her, she’ll know that you’re, “A brief pause, “on the corner of 5th and 12th.”
Going for broke Peter said, “Yes.” But his voice wavered with lack of confidence.
“So now we add lying to your list of sins. Including being out as spiderman when you were grounded till Monday.”
Peter sighed. “It’s just been a weird day.”
“It’s only 10 a.m., how weird could it be?”
Peter took a deep breath. “Look if you’re going to lecture me, can you go ahead and do it, I have things I need to do.” Peter said angrily.
There was a pause on the other end. “Oh, I’m definitely going to be lecturing, but first you’re going back to school. When classes end you will come straight here. Got it? On second thought I’ll send Happy.”
“Got it.” Peter sighed as Mr. Stark disconnected the line.
Peter went back to the alley and changed then walked back towards school. He still didn’t want to be there. But decided to give it a second shot and headed to his fourth period class.
“Sorry I’m late.” He said to his teacher.
“That will be detention on Monday.” She said handing him a slip.
Peter sighed and nodded heading back to his seat.
“What happened?” Ned asked quietly. “Everyone is talking about you leaving class. Some say Flash threatened you. You know you could take him, what happened?”
“Ned, it’s nothing alright. He didn’t threaten me I just left.”:
Ned’s voice went quieter, “Was it spiderman? Did the Avengers need you?”
Peter sighed. “It’s not always about that.” He said an edge to his voice. “You have no idea what’s going on.”
Ned looked at him surprised by Peter’s anger. “You could tell me you know. If it’s a secret Avengers thing.”
“God Ned, just shut up!” Peter practically shouted causing the whole class to look at them.
“Mr. Parker, I believe you have caused enough disruption this morning. Please go to the principal’s office.”
“What?! I was just telling him to be quiet. It’s not a crime.”
“Mr. Parker. Now. Please.”
Peter grabbed his bag and stormed off angrily. MJ gave him a sympathetic look as he headed out the door which he pointedly ignored.
Once at the office, Peter threw himself into a seat with pure teenage rebellion.
“Mr. Parker.” Came Mr. Morita’s voice. “Come in please.”
Peter rolled his eyes at the man’s false politeness and entered the office taking a seat across from the man.
“It seems you’ve been the talk of the school this morning. Walking out of homeroom and disappearing for a few hours. Only to show up and be disruptive in another class. You’ve had some incidents, but even I must say this doesn’t sound like you.”
“Chalk it up to a bad day then and let me get back to class.” Peter snarked.
Mr. Morita’s eyebrows rose at that. “I could call your guardian.”
That set Peter straight, May had enough to deal with right now. “That won’t be necessary.” Peter said carefully. “I’ll take detention or whatever and get back on track. It really is just a bad day.”
Mr. Morita nodded. “Ok we’ll chalk this up to a bad day. But a bad day isn’t without consequence. You have detention all next week. And any more skipped classes or outbursts and I will be forced to call your Aunt.”
Peter groaned, but nodded, “Thank you, Mr. Morita.” He then hurried from the room and headed to his next class.
He kept his head down, not even sitting with MJ and Ned at lunch, but going to the library and treating it as a study hall, not that he finished any homework, but it gave him something to do. It wasn’t till his next to last class, chemistry, that things went sideways.
It was a random pairing day, the teacher thinking it fostered team work to make them work with other people than just their friends. So far Peter had been lucky getting most partners that weren’t Flash, but today wasn’t his day.
“What’s up Penis Parker?” Flash said joining him at his desk. “Looks like it’s me and you.”
Peter immediately raised his hard. “Mr. Spenser can I have another partner please?”
“Is there a problem Peter?”
“I just, it’s just that.”
“Yea what is it Penis.” Flash said under his breath.
“If you don’t have a good reason to change partners you will keep your current one. Steps for the experiment are on the board get started.”
“That was embarrassing for you wasn’t it Penis?” Flash said lowly.
“Shut up Flash and stop calling me that. We’re no longer in seventh grade.”
Flash rolled his eyes. “Whatever Penis.”
They worked quietly for several minutes, both trying to take control of the experiment, until finally Peter gave up and let Flash do what he wanted, knowing he was doing it wrong. It wasn’t but a few minutes later when their experiment started to bubble over.
“Geez Parker, what did you do?” Flash yelled grabbing cloths to wipe it up.
“What?! What did I do, you’re the one that added the wrong ingredients? ‘oh, let’s see if this works.’” Peter mimicked. “You’re an idiot.”
“What did you just say to me?” Flash said getting in his face. Peter stepped up to him. It was so out of character for him that Flash’s eyes widened a bit in surprise.
“I said you’re an idiot.” Peter snapped. “If you had just listened to me, we wouldn’t be in this position, but as always Flash always knows best. You think you’re smarted then me, but I’m the one with the spot on the decathlon team you want. “
Flash looked a little wounded and Peter almost felt bad, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself.
And Flash rallied fast. “You mean the spot you stole.” Flash pushed back. “You always cheat and get your way. Or you play the dead parent card. Or what was it last year, your dead uncle.”
The next moment happened both fast and slow. Peter watched as his hand came forward, fisted and then Flash was on the floor holding his face.
“What is going on here?!” The teacher said coming to the back. “Parker go to the principal’s office.”
Peter fumed, but grabbed his bag turned on his heel and left. He didn’t go to the office though. Instead he left and made his way back to the apartment. He was too angry and a little freaked out about what he’d gotten himself into to do much else. May would be at work, so he’d have some space.
He let himself in, to find May on the couch wrapped in a blanket, tissues in hand, tea mug next to her. They both stared at each other for a moment.
“Peter what are you doing here?” She asked surprised.
“I could ask the same thing.”
“You’re supposed to be in school.” She said moving quickly to pull herself together.
“Well I didn’t want to be.”
May sighed. “Me too.” She said fiddling with a tissue. “Well with work.”
“I went to the grave site.” He said not sure what else to say.
“Me too.”
“I saw you.”
“Why didn’t you join me?”
“I’m supposed to be at school.”
“Right.”
“Mr. Starks going to lecture me. I was out as Spiderman and not at school.”
“He doesn’t know what this weekend is?” May asked surprised.
“No.” Peter said. “I don’t like to talk about it.” He confessed, even though she knew that.
“It might be good for you. For us.” She murmured. “We don’t really talk about what happened.”
Peter shook his head. “I can’t May.” He said tears forming. “I just can’t.”
She moved to him and pulled him into a tight hug. “I know. It’s ok baby.”
Peter let himself lean into her for a few minutes both crying. They were startled out of the hug at a sharp knock on the door.
“I swear Parker if you ignore me, I’ll take your door off the hinges.”
Peter eyebrows went up and he stepped back staring at the door in trepidation.
May sighed exasperated and opened the door.
“Hey Tony.” She said.
“May.” He said surprised, then looked at both their tear streaked faces. “What’s wrong?”
May looked to Peter then said, “Peter will fill you in.”
“May!” Peter gasped.
“It will be good for you.” She said taking his arm and shoving him in Tony’s direction.
“You can keep him for the weekend.” She said firmly.
“But May its….”
“I know, but you need this, besides you said he was going to lecture you. You can’t miss that. Consider it punishment for skipping school.”
“Twice.” Tony said in a low voice.
“All the reason more.” May said and pushed Peter out the door with Tony.
Once in the hallway, Peter looked up, “Hi, Mr. Stark.”
Tony landed a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go.”
They didn’t talk in the car, which surprised Peter because he knew that lecture was coming. They were halfway through the ride when Peter’s phone rang, “Hey May.”
“Don’t hey May me. You punched Flash.” Peter winced a little at the loud tone. So loud that Tony looked over at Peter with raised eyebrows.
“I know May. But he was being a jerk.”
“You punched him. The school wants to suspend you for three days. Three days Peter, for punching someone. I know this is a hard time of year, but this is where I draw the line.”
“I’m sorry May. It won’t happen again. I promise.” He swore. Then a deep breath. “Am I suspended?”
That completely got Tony’s attention and he raised his eyebrows waiting for an explanation.
“I explained why it happened. You can go see the school counselor for an hour after school each day next week or take the suspension> ‘
“What? I’m not seeing a counselor at school May. I’m fine.”
“You punched a kid.”
“It was Flash!”
“Peter, I recommend you take the counseling. But you’re 15 if you would rather be suspended and have it on your record, that’s up to you.”
“I’ll take the suspension.”
May sighed. “I thought you would say that. Let me talk to Tony.”
“Are you going to tell him, about, about this weekend?”
“No Peter. That’s up to you. I have till Monday morning to tell them if you want the suspension or not. So, think about it some more before deciding.”
May talked to Tony till they arrived at the tower.
Tony was vague and short answered most of what May said, leaving Peter clueless as to what exactly they said. Peter started to head to put his backpack in his room, but Tony told him to bring it.
“You won’t be working on lab stuff till your homework including any missed assignments are finished.” Peter sighed but nodded. When they got to the lab, Tony asked, “Is there something you need to talk about?”
“What would I need to talk about?” Peter said with a forced shrug and practiced indifference.
“Both you and May were crying. And instead of her lecturing you when she knew you skipped you were hugging. And from what she told me you punched another kid.”
Peter sighed, “It was just a bad day.”
Tony rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me, but talking about whatever is going on, might help.”
“I just cut a couple classes.” Peter said trying to play it off.
“It was a break in curfew last night, skipped classes, a bald-faced lie and you punching someone, you can’t downplay that. Really Parker none of this is like you. What is going on?’
Peter swallowed hard. “I can’t tell you.”
Tony sighed, “Peter…”
“No, I can’t. Can I just do my homework?” He asked swallowing hard.
Tony could tell he was upset so nodded in acquiescence. They both worked for the next several hours in silence. Tony forced them both to take a break for dinner.
“I’ve finished my assignments.” Peter said as they headed back to the lab.
“I’m tempted to ground you from the lab too, but I have things I could use your help on.” Peter sighed in relief. “But don’t think that makes you off the hook. We will talk about this kid. Whatever is bothering you needs to come out.”
Peter looked away saying nothing.
They worked in the lab for another few hours and Tony said, “it’s almost midnight, you should head to bed.”
“Really?” Peter asked surprised and a little nervous. “It’s almost midnight.”
“Yea kid. What’s wrong?”
Peter sighed. He’d been dreading it for weeks and the idea of talking about it made him feel physically ill, but he knew with his behavior today he should tell Mr. Stark something. “Tomorrows the anniversary of Uncle Ben’s death.” He said quietly.
“Oh kid.” Tony said softly. “I’m so sorry. No wonder you’ve given into teenage angst. Do you want to talk about it more?”
“I really don’t, Mr. Stark. But I thought you should know.”
Tony nodded. “Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me.” Peter nodded. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Tony said. “I’m across the hall if you need anything.” He reminded.
Peter nodded and headed to bed. It was nearly two am when the first nightmare hit. Peter woke sweaty and tangled in the blankets almost rolling off the bed. The second one was two hours later around four. Peter laid awake for a long time after that falling back to sleep around six and waking at 8.
He was grumpy when he headed for breakfast.
“Morning kiddo want some pancakes?” Tony asked.
“Coffee?” Peter asked knowing Tony did not usually allow it.
Tony looked at him. “You look awful kid. I think you need more sleep not coffee.”
Peter sighed, “I don’t want to sleep. Can I please just have some coffee? “
“Why didn’t you sleep last night?”
“I did. I tried. I just, there was stuff on my mind.”
“Like stuff about your Uncle?”
Peter swallowed hard and said, “Can I just have the coffee please?”
“Sorry kid, stunted growth and all that.”
Peter didn’t know why but he shoved the fruit basked next to him onto the floor when a burst of pure anger went through him.
They both just stood there stunned and then Tony said, “Alright kid, tell me what’s going on because you just threw a tantrum in my kitchen and I’ve never seen you do that.”
Peter still felt angry so answered, “You know, you’ve only known me a little under a year, maybe I’ve always been like this and you just don’t know it.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it. Something is up with you kid. More than just your Uncles death. Your Aunt said so. So, lets skip the teen angst and you speak to me like the mature kid I know you can be. “
Instead of being mature, Peter felt more anger and lashed out again, his hand punching though part of Tony’s island and more things on top of it scattering as Peter shoved them away in a burst of adrenaline.
Peter stood there breathing hard. He glanced at Tony and couldn’t describe the look on Tony’s face when he looked at him, so he turned away sliding down what was left of the side of the island and curling into his knees, tears leaking from his eyes. It was only a couple minutes later when Tony joined him on the floor and pulled the kid into his chest holding him close.
“It will be alright. Whatever it is kid. But whatever it is, it’s not worth hurting yourself over.”
Peter just wiped at his tears and said, “Sorry about the island.”
“Hey it’s ok. You can help me fix it. If we can.” He said pulling a face. “For now, let’s get your hand looked at ok?”
Peter nodded and let Tony help him to his feet. Peter tried to not look at the destruction, but it was kind of hard not to. “I’m sorry.” He said again, but Tony waived it off and pulled him toward the elevator. It only took about an hour to get his hand squared away. He’d broken a couple bones and even with fast healing they had needed to set it and brace it.
Once done Tony took him to the lab after getting a promise from Peter that if he got that upset again that he’d tell him, so he didn’t really hurt things in the lab. They worked quietly for awhile when Peter finally said.
“I can’t tell you.” He said quietly. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just. I can’t make the words come out of my mouth.” A deep breath. “But I think I can show you. If you’ll let me?”
Tony nodded and the two headed out of the lab. It was half an hour later when they pulled up outside a convenience store.
“What are you showing me, Pete?” He asked as they got out of the car.
“It happened here.” Peter moved a little and grabbed Tony’s arm to move him into a position in front of him. His breath hitching a little. Luckily not many people were on the sidewalk so they could stand if they wanted too.
“It was here.” He said again. “My uncle died here. Right here. With me trying to stem the blood from the shot. I couldn’t save him. I tried and I… I just couldn’t. He died because of me. Because I couldn’t help him.”
Tony’s whole demeaner changed then and he reached out to pull Peter into a hug. “Peter, it’s not your fault. He was shot.”
“I did, I did cause it.” Peter said in a rush just as determined to prove his point. “We were only out here because of me. I had been getting in trouble at school and he was giving me a talk. A reminder about how good men act and if I wanted to be one how I should act, “With great power, comes great responsibility”. “
“Peter that doesn’t make it your fault.” Tony insisted.
Peter swallowed hard, whispering, “I was spiderman.”
Tony looked at him for a minute, “For how long?”
“What?” Peter asked confused.
“How long were you spiderman?” He demanded. “It’s not a hard question, kid.”
“Maybe a month.”
“Do you really think you had a handle on your powers in a month? Not to mention do you have any idea what a bullet would do to you?”
“I heal fast, Mr. Stark.” Peter said like he was speaking to someone dimwitted and not a genius.
“I’m aware of that Peter, but fast healing does not equal bullet proof.” A pause as Tony looked around and then. “You said right here. As in he was standing right here?”
“What?”
“Was he standing right here, Peter? In this spot.”
“Yea. Mr. Stark. What does that matter?”
“Kid look again. Tell me what you see.”
“I… I see you. You’re right in front of me.”
“Exactly.”
“What? I don’t understand he was right in front of me. I saw everything.”
“Think again kid.” Tony said putting his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “He was right in front of you. Why?”
“He…” Peter whispered. “He put himself in front of me. He was trying to save me?” Peter realized. “He did save me.” The words were his undoing and sobs began to wrack his body.
Tony stepped forward and pulled the boy into his arms and hugged him tight, stroking his hair and muttering reassurances.
Peter was exhausted after his revelation, so the man helped him to the car and drove them back to the tower and then helped him to bed.
Peter woke and knew it was later then when he normally got up. His face felt grainy, so he washed up and got dressed. He felt a little better just knowing it was no longer that day. It was a little easier to bare knowing his uncle had died protecting him. He headed to the kitchen his stomach seeking food, as he got close, he smelled blueberries and once in the kitchen Tony handed him a stack of blueberry pancakes.
“Thanks, Mr. Stark.”
“No Problem kid.”
Tony made his own plate and they sat in comfortable silence eating. When done they cleaned up and then Tony asked, “What do you want to do today?”
“I’d like to introduce you to someone.” Peter said.
Tony looked at him cautiously, “Okay.” He said the word dragged out.
“It’s not a bad thing I promise. Just something I want to do.”
Tony agreed and they got back in the car and headed out. When they headed toward the cemetery, Tony knew instantly who he was meeting.
They made their way to the graveside.
“Hey Uncle Ben, Mom, Dad,” He said pointing to each stone, “I want you to meet my…” He looked at Tony for a long moment, then shrugged and said, “Mentor.” In a non-committed voice. “He does a good job of taking care of me as spiderman, even just as me. He’s really helped me these last six months, I don’t think I’d be alive without him.”
Peter stepped back and indicated Tony should step up.
“HI Uncle Ben, Mr. and Mrs. Parker. You have a great kid. Growing into an incredible young man. Your legacy is intact. I’m just grateful I get to be a part of it.”
Peter smiled and walked over to give Tony a side hug. “I think they are happy. I think Ben is.”
Tony nodded. “They would be proud of you Peter. I hope you know that.”
Peter nodded. “I do…now.”
“Just remember it. You have a legacy to uphold. But don’t let that put too much pressure on yourself, you’re allowed to make mistakes, especially when you’re young.” A beat. “I’m proud of you too.”
Peter smiled. “Thanks, Mr. stark.”
Tony nodded and the two headed back to the car.