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i JuSt WaNt My GrOcErIeS (and my arm)

Summary:

There's a bitchass old lady, Sasuke wants groceries and her arm back, and Sakura can't stop laughing long enough to help her girlfriend out for .5 seconds.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Sasuke was absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent not in the wrong here.

Look. 

She was just trying to get some fucking groceries, y'know? Which is what people do if they want to eat-which is what they do if they want to live?

She's just getting out of the car, turning it off, preparing to go into the store-

-and then this fucking bitchass old lady starts screaming at her (from across the fucking parking lot, mind you) about how 'she's perfectly healthy' and 'shouldn't've parked in the disabled parking spot, don't teenagers have any human decency these days?'.

"-hat parking space is for disabled people! But no, you couldn't wait a few minutes to find another parking spot, could you? And-"

Sasuke meets Sakura's gaze from across the top of the car and attempts to express the absolute nothingness that she's currently made out of through her eyes alone, and she thinks she nails the dead fish eyes look if nothing else, judging by her girlfriend's grin.

"-listen to me!-"

Sasuke tunes her out on the principle of spite alone, but is pretty fucking done with it when she's been standing there for about a minute and this old lady who apparently has nothing better to do than harass teenagers for their perceived wrongdoings is still harping after her.

Now, Sasuke's been raised as a polite child, even if she'd never really used those manners before, but she still knows that if she so much as interrupts an elderly person outside of their family, Itachi would somehow (she's still very convinced he has magical powers, even though it's a lot more probable that Shit-sui was being his usual annoying self again) know about it, even though he's halfway across the world and incredibly busy with school. So she can't really make snarky comments about all the dumb things this lady's saying, even though she desires nothing more in the world than to take this lady down a notch or two, but.

But.

She's still getting used to her new arm, isn't she? It's completely probable that she could just, oh, lose control over it and accidentally send it flying, isn't it?

Yeah.

(the excuse might be paper thin, but it's an excuse and by god is she taking it)

Sasuke very calmly un-attaches her arm from the stump of her elbow, thankful in the back of her mind that she'd gone with a tank top instead of a top that would've hindered her endeavour, and looks up to find that the woman has, incredibly, still not noticed her taking off her arm.

She aims the arm around the woman's head, enough so that it'd pass by her head, close enough to it that she would have to take notice of it, but not so close that it hits her in the head.

Sasuke's better than that.

(she definitely does not want to toss it into the lady's head and watch her choke on the fingers-she does not)

As it is, the arm sails past the woman who had only stopped ranting when it had flown towards her, and the arm clatters onto the ground a bit behind her.

"Oh, no," Sasuke says insincerely, making sure her stump of an arm is visible from where the old lady's gaping, and stares directly into her eyes, using the kind of stare that Naruto called 'lifeless' and 'creepy' before tilting the corners of her mouth upwards and stretching them into a gruesome grin, "please, do continue." Sasuke leans her head at a weird-looking angle against the car for the sole reason that her eyes seem to flash red when the light hits them just right.

The woman doesn't even have the decency to apologize, and when Sasuke makes her eyes flash red while her face is in a truly horrific smile her skin is immediately bleached a pale bone-white; she turns tail and runs for the relative safety of her car and gets the fuck out of there.

There's blissful silence for a grand total of three seconds, after that, Sakura dissolves into amused cackling.

"I'm so happy me getting yelled at by a stranger is a humorous experience for you," Sasuke says blankly, and at that Sakura's laughs double in force instantaneously.

Sasuke's lips twitch up at the sight of her girlfriend's shoulders shaking with the force of her laughing, but then she catches sight of her arm on the other side of the street and is not prepared to walk over there and attempt to put it on single-handedly, so she nudges Sakura with her foot, waits until Sakura regains some semblance of control over herself, and says, "I want my arm back."

Sakura loses her balance from her laughter and nearly dies on the ground, and Sasuke contemplates how many bags, exactly, she could hold in her singular hand if she left Sakura here to die.

Notes:

drabbles are nice

also why the fUcK is there not more fem sasusaku content am i going to have to create my own??? smh