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“Okay, all I can tell you that it wasn’t rushed. He was… you know, he was patient, he was careful. It felt like I was seeing him naked for the first time.”
Scott knows what he means, turning in the woods in a completely different story to the intimacy of a room.
Stiles looks away, avoiding Scott’s gaze. “He took my breath away, and he took care of me just like I expected. He undressed me, you know? And it felt like he wanted me to know that he wanted me, that he liked me and it wasn’t just a fuck. Maybe it’s something he always does… maybe it’s something he knows that works on every omega out there—I don’t know. But I appreciate it even if that’s the case… because it was special—or at least as special it can be with someone who isn’t your mate.”
“And yeah,” Stiles finds Scott’s eyes again. “He made sure I was okay… but it didn’t feel like he was holding back either. He was commanding and passionate and so fucking sexy… and hot...” Stiles smiles and paces back and forth again. “I know it’s probably my imagination and maybe the fact that it was mind-blowing sex… but I felt this connection that I can’t really explain it… it felt special despite the fact that we’re nothing to each other and I know it might never happen again. So, yeah, it really sucks that I got pregnant because otherwise, it would have been perfect. Because it really was perfect. He was perfect.”
“Okay, you just said perfect three times and after what’s happened, I think you fucking bonded. I don’t know if he noticed it… maybe he didn’t because it’s totally new for him but I imagine that it’s just a matter of time…”
“Just because I’ve acknowledged that it was a perfectly carried out experience, it doesn’t mean that we’re mates.” Stiles shakes his head.
“Maybe… you know, maybe I just have a crush on him.” Stiles waves both arms. “Maybe I’ve liked him for a while now... But there’s nothing wrong with that… it will pass… I’m not some stupid omega who has fallen in love with the first alpha he’s been with—I’m not fucking heartbroken, okay? That’s not what’s happened here… because I know him. I know how he is and I knew what I was getting into. I wasn’t exactly expecting a repeat.”
“Shit. Then why the hell did you choose him?”
“I already told you! And I’m not going to repeat it.” Stiles shrugs. “Besides, it doesn’t matter why and I don’t need your approval.” He always knew that Scott wouldn’t understand it. Being an alpha, he sees things from a different perspective and, despite his efforts, he will never see things the same way that an omega does.
“Don’t you think that maybe you chose him because it was fate?—Because he’s your mate and it was meant to be?”
Stiles licks his lips as he considers Scott’s words. He can’t help it, a part of him believes in fate but he thought that fate was supposed to be something positive and being pregnant because of that, doesn’t feel right at all.
“If it was meant to be, why didn’t it happen before? Why didn’t I have a clue until now? Or him? Don’t you think that he would know by now too? He’s gonna freak out if I tell him this shit. And for the record, I’m not saying that you’re right either. And even if you were… even if he was my mate, it doesn’t change anything because I can’t have a baby right now… you know that as well as I do.”
“So, haven’t you called him? Texted him?” Scott raises his eyebrows.
“What for? What was I supposed to tell him?” He wanted to do it. He even wrote a few texts and deleted all of them. They felt childish and stupid, and he’s not going to tell Scott. “Besides, I’ve been too busy with the exams and so has he.”
“Yeah, it’s no coincidence that you haven’t been to any pack meeting since then, right?”
“I had to study, and yeah, maybe I was waiting for the memory to fade away.”
“And you think that by avoiding him, that’s going to happen?” Scott frowns.
Stiles sighs. “Look, it doesn’t matter what I thought because I’m going to see him tomorrow and once this is over, I’ll get over him.” That is, if he manages to stop replaying that night in his head every time he closes his eyes in bed or whenever he can’t help to think about it… and of course, if he can forget how it felt having Jackson inside him making him feel like he was important to him—Like that moment meant something to him.
“I doubt that could ever happen if you’re bonded—Don’t you want him to be your mate? What’s the problem?” Scott shrugs.
“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know. Maybe if I wasn’t pregnant I’d be happy about it but I can’t have a baby. That’s what I know. That’s what I have to focus on and that’s why I have to see him, nothing else.”
Scott doubts that it will be that simple but saying anything about it isn’t going to help. “And how is that going to happen? When are you meeting him?”
“I’ve asked Danny. He thinks he’ll be at home in the evening for sure because they haven’t got practice.”
“Okay." Scott shrugs. "Well, good luck, then.” Scott looks at his watch and gets up. “I have to go but please call me after you’ve talked to him. He thinks about telling him again to tell his dad but it feels pointless so he doesn’t say a word.
“Don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay,” Stiles says, opening the door.
Scott snorts. “Yeah, I know.” Scott nods and tries to sound convincing but probably he didn’t sound that way and he knows it. “Try to get some sleep.” Because Stiles' doesn’t look exactly rested.
“Yes, dad.” Stiles smiles and nods as he closes the door behind him and follows Scott downstairs to see him out.