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It is a very commonly known fact that Nanami Chiaki loves to sleep.
Or maybe, rather, actually, truthfully, she loves to game until she passes out for anything from half an hour to a full-blown fourteen hours (or more! Unlock the Deep Sleep Edition for a small payment of one rich chocolate fudge before bed), dead to the world as she snoozes away in her adorable bundle of blankets, like a beautiful little kitten with her little hands poking out of her sleeves in those adorable sweater paws with her cutesy round cheeks and her lovely lashes all fanning out and— and— is it just Ibuki or is her girlfriend for realsies just the cutest person in the entire world?
Like, seriously?
Her face is so soft and her hair just flicks out the sides and her bangs brush the top of her eyebrows and those eyes, oh baby, those eyes, they just sparkle like a unicorn’s mane would sparkle if they did, though Ibuki doesn’t actually know because she’s never met a unicorn but if unicorns manes sparkled, they’d sparkle like her girlfriend’s eyes.
Anyway.
Ibuki has to stop before she gets off at the wrong station (of thought, it’s a train, hahaha, jokey jokey) and forgets what she’s here for.
Waking Nanami Chiaki from her slumber.
Her cute slumber, might Ibuki add, because whoever invented the phrase beauty sleep has got to step aside — if they ever saw this with their own two eyes, they’d surely have coined the term cutie sleep instead.
Ibuki then realizes that beauty sleep isn’t technically the same thing as sleeping beauty but come on.
Someone else try thinking straight when the cutest girl in the world is sleeping right in front of them! She would triple dog dare them! Unless they’re not into girls, then they get a free pass! Wait, what’s this hypothetical scenario, anyway?
Off-track, Ibuki scolds herself. Gotta stay focused.
She shakes her head free of the deserved adoration and the next tangent that’s starting to dance into her head, reminding herself she has a mission to accomplish and nothing is going to get in her way.
No matter how cute or pretty or absolutely angelic Chiaki looks while sleeping, Ibuki has to wake her up.
Oh yeah.
She has to rouse sleeping beauty from her cucumber slumber! Minus the cucumbers!
She has to scream away the dreams, but in a way that wasn’t quite screaming and more soft screeching (yes, the distinction is very important) — and she has to do it all before 8, or they’ll be very, very late! And that’s not great! It’s not great to be late, gotta get there before 8, get some food onto the plate or come to meet a lesser fate — but wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let it be known that Ibuki is just maybe a little bit weak to her girlfriend and even though she knows she wants to wake her up, the actual act of it is not so easy.
Looking at Chiaki, she realizes that it’s going to actually be very hard.
Like, harder than she thought it would be. If this was a boss battle, Ibuki thinks she might lose via the power of sheer cuteness alone.
She is just so super mega cute, the cutest thing in the world, mwah, drooling on her pillow with her dusky lavender hair bouncing soft against the cotton and she sleeptalks, too!
“Mm…” All sweet little mumbles, and then, “... ‘buki… fire the… cannon…”
Ibuki mimes a heart attack and collapses onto the floor.
Full combo! K.O.! Goodbyeee, Ibuki Mioda!
Wait.
No.
What is she doing?
No, no, no! Ibuki can’t die now!
She’s got to get up! Up, up! No more distractions!
She slaps both of her cheeks and inhales excessively loudly with the biggest mouth she can make. Then, launches to her feet to carry out her attack. No holds barred! The cuteness won’t stop her again!
“Gooood morning,” she launches, and then doesn’t stop, “my precious cupcake, my angel baby girl, freestyle, trigger-happy, shoot-em-up Space Invaders, honey and potato croquettes, you gotta make Cooking Mama proud, sweet darling girlfriend of mine, love of my life,” she shakes Chiaki frantically by the shoulder with each declaration, “Come on, come on! Wake up!
She heaves to try and catch her breath while Chiaki slumbers mercilessly.
Truly a formidable foe. She has underestimated her power.
She’ll have to resort to extreme measures at this rate, she muses, hands on hips. Forget about boss battles, she’s skipping to the final boss.
That’s right. The true final boss is getting her girlfriend to join the land of the living.
Ibuki tilts her head. Chiaki is really, really cute.
“No! Stop! Serious mode!” Ibuki stomps her feet and huffs before clambering back onto the bed. She’s proud of herself for only stopping for three seconds this time, admiring the way Chiaki’s cheek smooshes against the pillow.
Truly an unexpected hidden move. There could be nothing less from the Ultimate Gamer herself.
“BAAABE!” Ibuki yells.
Chiaki doesn’t stir.
“CHI TO THE A TO THE KI!” Ibuki rolls her over like a sausage roll. She’s not feeling mean enough to push her girlfriend off the bed, but that’s not to say she won’t resort to that if it comes down to it. For now, she contents herself with rolling Chiaki like a rolling pin, hoping that science would somehow wake her darling angel before she starts wondering whether she’s actually a descendant of a species of rock. “DING DONG! DING DONG! ANYBODY HOME?”
“Mmhn,” Chiaki says. Ibuki squints down at her.
“You awake?”
“Mn,” Chiaki mumbles but her eyes aren’t opening.
“Come on, baby girl,” Ibuki whines, rolling her blanket burrito back and forth. “Ibuki promised Hajime she would get you up and it’s like, later skaters, so if you don’t get up, Hajime is gonna get mad at meeee…”
Chiaki opens her eyes.
“Babe? Angel?” Ibuki asks tentatively. “Have you awoken? Have you seen the light?”
Chiaki closes her eyes again.
And. Alright. Okay. She sees how this is gonna be.
“Chiaki Nanami, you are playing with my heart,” she declares. “Ibuki knows you’re awake, and you think this is funny, but I’ll have you know that this is very, very, very, very, very — is five enough? five is not enough, actually — very, very, very, very serious business.”
It takes a long moment of holding her breath before there’s movement. Chiaki opens her eyes again.
“Hehe… tricked you,” Chiaki smiles sleepily up at her and Ibuki feels her heartbeat pick up. She might be blushing.
She cups her cheeks in her palms.
Oh, no, she’s definitely blushing.
Argh, she can’t blush, she has a reputation!
“Ggh…! You!” Ibuki grits her teeth and points at her girlfriend dramatically. “You’re only getting away with this because you’re so cute…! Lucky for you that Ibuki’s only weakness is cute girls! Gwaaahhh!”
Chiaki smiles sweetly back at her, “I think I’m the lucky one here… hehe, because the cutest girl I know is standing right in front of me… you see?”
“Absolutely not allowed! You said you were bad at dating sims! So how come you’re gonna make Ibuki’s heart go boom…?!”
“Well, I haven’t used all my Revives so even if you faint, you’ll be okay… I think.”
Ibuki mimes sobbing. “You’re the best girlfriend in the world! I’ll make you a bed in Minecraft next time we play!”
“Yay,” Chiaki says, and it’s a very small and almost shy yay which makes Ibuki want to pick her up and twirl her around and around. She doesn’t, if only because she probably can’t. Ibuki’s not as strong as Akane, who could fling her at least ten Ibuki lengths across the beach and it would be epic.
No, Ibuki has to resort to tugging on her arm and hoping Chiaki will sit up instead. She does, with a yawn. The sweater paws make Ibuki’s heart go pitter-patter. She can feel her affection level rising and she’s helpless to stop it.
“So now that we’ve established that we’re in love,” Ibuki says. “We gotta get you outta bed and to breakfast!”
“Aw,” Chiaki responds, “Do we have to go now…?”
“We’re laters skaters, late skates, Chiaki, baby!” Ibuki does a funky little dance with her hands. “I’ll bring you back for naps later, we just gotta report to Captain Spiky Hair and Princess Smiles and Our Great Leader Byakuya and everyone else to make sure they know we’re alive! Important stuff, ja ja?”
She pouts. “We don’t get an achievement or a trophy for showing up.”
“Well, no, and that sucks,” Ibuki agrees. “But time’s a wasting and breakfast is also important, oui oui?”
“Si si,” Chiaki replies, playing along with her little verbal pattern, which Ibuki thinks is seriously the cutest thing ever. She loves her girlfriend so much, she can’t help but keep fawning over her, she’s so freaking cuuute! “I guess we have to go. Is there a cheat code for fast travel? I don’t feel like walking…”
“No cheat code, no fast travel, and no checkpoint to save at and come back to later,” Ibuki tells her. “This game sucks!”
Chiaki shrugs, and looks at her directly, another soft smile playing on her lips. “At least the graphics are good. My favorite character has never looked better. This is… a really good romance route, hehe…”
“My goodness… you’re getting smoother than butter by the day…” Ibuki feels herself blushing again, as if Chiaki has decided her reputation is a slime monster for slaughtering. “Let’s— let’s get going, yes yes?”
“Yes,” Chiaki reaches out for her and Ibuki unwraps her from the blankets and slowly pulls her to her feet. “Hey hey, ‘Buki?”
“Yes, pretty blueberry muffin?”
She giggles, and slowly, gently swings their hands. “Thank you… for looking after me.”
“Ibuki would do anything for you, baby.”
There’s something smug in Chiaki’s soft face that appears after she says that, and Ibuki, suspecting nothing, tilts her head.
“Anything?” Chiaki asks.
“Super anything!”
“Will you carry me?”
Ibuki blinks, then shakes her head sadly. “Listen, Ibuki would love to, she really would, but these guns,” she rolls up her sleeves and flexes, “Are not loaded. If you’ve read the safety instructions manual, Ibuki does not advise attempting it.”
“Just kidding,” Chiaki’s expression eases back into her usual sleepy smile. “I’m just happy to be with you. Waking up to your face… it’s like the feeling when the games you wanted are all on sale… or something you’ve been waiting to be released is finally in your hands… that sort of feeling.”
Ibuki beams at her. “That’s the best thing anyone has ever said to me…!”
“Good.” Chiaki says. “Now let’s finish this side quest. The main story starts again when I beat you at Smash later.”
“Oohhh, you are ON!” She exclaims. “I’ll be the toughest boss you’ll ever face! You’ll rue the day you ever crossed Ibuki Mioda!”
“That’s what you think.” Chiaki leans in, surprising her with a quick peck on the cheek before pulling away. “It’s too bad for you, though… you already told me your only weakness.”
Ibuki feels her affection levels skyrocketing.
“Well, even if you say that, I won’t go easy on you just because you’re cute as a button!”
“Hehe, you called me a button,” Chiaki nudges her shoulder, laughing ever so softly. “It’s a date, then. I’m so happy. Can buttons be happy? I guess… I’d be a happy button regardless.”
Ah.
Aaaaah.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.
Ibuki clutches her chest. She’s not sure how much longer she can go on before she explodes from how much she adores Chiaki Nanami.
Her girlfriend truly is a formidable foe.