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“Buck—stop! That tickles!”
Steve squirmed out of Bucky’s grasp as they slipped in the front door. It was a little past midnight and the warmth of the house pleasantly enveloped him after enduring the cold evening air. Though, perhaps it was just the buzz from the alcohol. Or maybe it was Bucky’s arms draped over his shoulders.
“Mmmm…Stevie…” He started leaving a trail of kisses from Steve’s elbow all the way up to his neck. “I’ve wanted to get you alone all night, bud.”
Steve chuckled.
“Well then why don’t you have me?” he replied, coyly.
He made his way up the stairs, gently holding Bucky’s wrist as the larger man followed behind him like a warm, comforting shadow.
When they made it to the bedroom, Bucky surged ahead of him and flopped on the bed face first and groaned into the comforter. Steve leaned up against the doorframe and watched in the low light as his shoulder muscles rippled under his t-shirt.
“Steeeeviiieeee…”
“Yeah, Buck?” He sauntered over to the bed and gingerly perched on its edge, tangling his fingers in Bucky’s hair and gently tugging back and forth.
“‘Mmmm…tired…” He wormed his way over to Steve and nuzzled his face into his lap.
“Yeah, old man?” Steve smiled down at him.
“Mhm…too dumb for art stuff…” he muttered.
“Awww…don’t say that, Buck,” Steve pouted and cupped Bucky’s cheek, turning his face up to look at him. “I love having you at my shows.” He leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
Bucky’s eyes fluttered closed. Steve fixated on his lashes as they fanned out over his cheeks. “Mmm…don’t belong in there…”
“What’re you sayin’, Buck?”
“I mean, I love your art, Stevie, more than anything—” he groaned again as he rolled up out of the bed and lazily wandered towards the bathroom. “But, y’know, sometimes, I’d rather just curl up with you and go through your sketchbook, y’know? Instead of drinking fancy wine that won’t get me drunk, tryna socialize with artsy types all night..”
He got quiet as he stood in front of the sink, swishing around some mouthwash.
Steve’s face softened as he watched him from the edge of the bed.
“Oh, Buck…”
He leaned over the sink and spit.
“Ah, don’t worry about it, babydoll.” He shrugged as he approached the bed, shoulders set low. “I like showin’ out for you. ‘Never got to show you off like that in the old days, right?” Steve could hear joints cracking as Bucky climbed under the covers. “Now c’mere…so I can finally have you to myself.” He shot Steve a wink, holding out his arms to him and making grabbing motions with his hands.
A slightly pained grin broke out on Steve’s face and he crawled eagerly towards the head of the bed, confidently planting himself in Bucky’s lap. Like he belonged there.
Steve lowered his voice and leaned in close to Bucky’s ear, so close his lips were almost touching his skin.
He whispered, “Whaddya’ got planned for me tonight, soldier?”
Bucky laughed from deep inside his chest.
Steve couldn’t sleep.
Normally (or at least since he’d lost the serum) he didn’t wake up before eight unless he absolutely had to.
He’d woken up with the sun, its rays peaking through one of the curtains they hadn’t fully closed the night before. He was laying on his side. He could feel Bucky’s large body pressed up against his back, softly breathing, the pleasant scratch of his beard hair tickling the back of his neck. A metal arm curled underneath him, settled in the dip of his waist. He felt at home.
His mind wandered back to the night before, to Buck’s tired eyes and slumped shoulders, the way his dark eyelashes had cast shadows across his cheekbones like outstretched wings: “I don’t belong in there.” Steve firmly disagreed. As cheesy as it sounded in his head, he was certain that such a work of art most definitely belonged in a museum.
But something inside him still ached, feeling the gentle motions of Bucky’s chest. With every breath in and out, Bucky pushed himself between Steve’s shoulders, and he felt every bit of warmth and love Bucky had ever pressed into him flow through him all at once. He had to meet him halfway.
Carefully, he reached over to the bedside table and unplugged his phone.
hey
can I ask u something?
His phone buzzed. He froze, peaking over his shoulder to see if Bucky was awake, but he was still passed out cold.
1 new message from Sam
sure thing man
didn’t know u were up at this hour
Steve smiled. He knew Sam would be up. That’s how they’d met, after all, rising with the sun, running alone across seas of concrete, going as far and as fast as their bodies could take them, trying to escape the invisible things that followed them in their sleep. The best part about finding each other was that they didn’t have to run alone anymore.
haha very funny
He could sense Sam grinning through the blue light of the screen.
remember the show last night?
yeah
is this about me leaving early? cuz I promise it was important
haha no its not about that
Steve sighed, his shoulders melting into Bucky’s warmth.
when we got home last night buck said some things
about how he likes my shows but he feels like he doesn’t belong there
and I feel like I’m being a bad boyfriend because I’m always putting myself first
especially when he works so hard and comes home to me acting like this
Steve felt a tightness in his chest as he watched the three dots bubble up, waiting for Sam to respond.
I love u man but u need to shut the fuck up
Steve flinched.
first of all when has Steve rogers ever in his life accidentally put himself first over somebody else
ESPECIALLY somebody he loves
we literally have to force u to take care of yourself on a daily basis
Steve sighed again and furrowed his brow. Sam kept typing and he kept reading.
I DO see where ur coming from tho
I can tell when he gets bored pretty easy cuz I’m forced to be around him so much
and maybe ur shows aren’t exactly his speed
but u know him better than anyone
I think the best advice I can give u is to trust ur boyfriend abilities on this one
why don’t you take him somewhere? someplace YOU KNOW he’ll love
u know him
trust ur love for him and see where it takes u
god that was corny
Steve let out a bubbly little laugh.
but u get the point man. take him out. treat him real good for a day.
and I’m not giving u any specific ideas cuz I know you’ll pass them off as ur own
and I would absolutely snitch on u if u did that
“Who ya ‘textin, bud?”
Steve jumped at the sound of Bucky’s warm scratchy voice over his shoulder. He felt him lean in closer, resting his chin in the crook of Steve’s neck.
Steve quickly closed out of his messages and tucked the phone underneath his pillow. He turned to face his boyfriend and smiled. “It’s nothin’, just Sam bugging me while he’s out running.” He rested a hand on one of Bucky’s pecs and hitched his left leg up over the other man’s sturdy thigh. Bucky sprawled out over the pillows, his arms falling lazily above his head, framing his beautiful face in the dim morning light. Steve was in love.
“What’s the plan for today?”
Now’s my chance. Steve balanced himself on Bucky’s pelvis and rubbed his palms up and down his broad chest. He bit his lip before he spoke.
“Actually, if you’re not busy…” He rocked forward a little and Bucky groaned.
“I kinda wanted to take you out on uh—on a date, I mean, if you want to.” Steve shot him a coy smile and Bucky smirked back at him.
“Depends on where you’re takin’ me?”
“It’s a surprise.”
Steve let out a laugh as Bucky grabbed onto his hips and started bouncing him up and down. He felt a gentle press on the center of his back as Bucky propped him up with his knees.
“Well I’m free anytime after 8:30.”
Steve cocked his head a little. “Why’s that?”
Bucky smiled. “Cuz I gotta go run with Sam.”
hows it going?
Steve wiped the sweat off his brow as he and Bucky walked up the steps of the 79th street station. He peaked over his shoulder at Buck, then unlocked his phone, holding it close to his chest.
fine
made it from Brooklyn
just got off 2 train
“Hey—”
Steve turned at the sound of Bucky’s voice and quickly stuffed his phone back in his pocket as he came up behind him. He slid his left hand into Steve’s right and smiled down at him, bumping shoulders as they walked. Steve smiled back. He felt another buzz in his pocket and snuck a quick peak without responding
2 train?
u do realize u can take a cab right?
theres no transfers when ur in a cab
haha you two really do act ur age sometimes
Steve chuckled under his breath, looking back up from the screen as they approached their destination. Maybe Sam was right. Maybe they were old.
“Wow…” Bucky’s eyes went wide as they approached the old stone steps of the Museum of Natural History, taking in the ornate architecture and the intricate flower beds. “Looks just as great as it did back in the day, huh, kid?”
Steve scoffed, “We couldn’t even afford the train tickets to get over here back then, Buck.”
“Think it still costs a buck’ and a half to get in?”
Steve laughed. “Lets find out.”
Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand in his and they headed over to the entrance.
Steve vividly remembered when museum tickets were a dollar and thirty cents, and they still couldn’t afford them. He remembered saving the little flyers that the newsies would hand out, advertising some new exhibit about the moon, or about some dinosaur bones they’d dug up somewhere Steve and Bucky would never go, and he’d give them to Buck and he’d pour over them and imagine all the amazing things they could do, if they only had a little more money—just like he’d pour over those pulp novels about men on mars, and tentacle monsters at the bottom of the sea, and all the other things they could only afford to imagine. He remembered when they couldn’t afford Dodgers’ tickets either, and they’d sneak into the stadium through a hole in the fence and cross their fingers they didn’t get caught. They’d guilt some poor old woman into buying them ice cream, and then forget to eat it halfway through the game and let it melt all over their fingers, and they’d laugh while they licked themselves clean.
All this to say that Steve was relieved that after a hundred years or so, Buck still had that same awestruck look on his face when they walked into the museum. Like he was a kid again.
“Jeez, Stevie, look at this…”
As they entered the massive and grandiose foyer, with marble columns lining every wall, they were greeted by two huge dinosaurs, mid-battle.
Bucky used his free hand to point at the larger of the two beasts, the one with the long neck rearing up on its hind legs, its tiny head resting nearly two stories up in the air. “That one right there, that’s barosaurus, and over there—” He directed Steve to the smaller—but still massive—carnivorous dinosaur to its left, “That’s an allosaurus, like the one in that TV special I showed you? In this scene, the barosaurus is protecting its young from the allosaurus.”
Steve nodded as he observed the display. “That’s pretty impressive, Buck. You know how old these bones are?”
“Well, actually they’re not bones, ‘cuz they’d be too heavy to display like this, so it’s just a cast. But barosaurus lived over 160 million years ago.”
“Wow, even older than us, huh.”
Bucky smiled. “Yeah. It’s nice to meet another fossil for once—I mean, besides you, pal.”
Steve smiled back and gently shoved Bucky with his shoulder. “I’m gonna go get the tickets.”
Steve looked back at Bucky as he waited in line to pick up their tickets. He stood with his hands in his pockets, gazing up at the huge display with a smile on his face. He looked small, like he sometimes did, but this time it was a good sort of small. The kind where you were faced with the magnitude of the world and it gave you a sense of comfort, in being small. Steve felt another buzz in his pocket.
u guys make it to the museum alright?
Steve typed out a quick response before he was called up to the counter.
yeah grabbing the tickets rn
Bucks loving it so far
see? I told u
u know that annoying ass man better than anyone
Steve chuckled as he pulled up the confirmation email.
“So, where to first, bud?”
They stood together in front of the Hall of North American Mammals, Steve holding the unfolded map in his hands.
“Well, the planetarium show doesn’t start for about a half hour, so…we could check out the Hall of Ocean Life?” Steve looked up at Bucky skeptically. "I mean, if that’s what you wanna do, Buck.”
Bucky just smiled back at him—that same old charming smile that he’d have plastered on his face when a pretty dame was talking to him. Or Steve. “That sounds great, bud. Lead the way.”
As they made their way down the corridor towards the ocean dioramas, Steve kept his head down, listening intently to the way his shoes squeaked against the glossy floor, the echo of their footsteps in the vast museum. He reached out his left hand and Bucky took it in his right.
“I think this is the right way…” Steve studied the map as they stood in front of the Hall of Biodiversity; a dark room emanating tropical rainforest sounds.
“Welp, only one way to find out,” Bucky said as he made his way inside. Steve followed behind him hesitantly.
The room was covered, floor to ceiling, with life-size models. They had every type of animal you could imagine, from something as small as a butterfly to as large as a tiger. A thick forest of trees and vines stood in the center of the room, like it had been plucked out of a real jungle. When Steve looked up at the ceiling, he was faced with an enormous jellyfish, bigger than he thought possible, floating right above his head.
“Hey Steve!” He turned at the sound of Bucky’s voice, “Look at this!” Steve found Bucky in the corner of the room, standing in front of a model of a giant clam, jaws open wide (If you could call them jaws, Steve wasn’t entirely sure). “You think they’d make an exception for Captain America?” He gestured to a sign in front of the clam that read Do Not Sit.
Steve scoffed, “First of all, I’m a former Captain America, and second of all, we are not getting kicked out of this museum because you wanted me to sit in a giant clam.”
Bucky shrugged, a smirk still visible on his face in the dim light. “Damn shame, this is the first time in his life Steve Rogers wanted to follow the rules—”
“Hey!—”
“Wait, Stevie, c’mere.” Bucky was already walking away from him, gesturing towards a large archway labeled Hall of Ocean Life. Bucky stopped in front of the entryway and let out a low whistle. “You’re gonna wanna see this.”
Steve quickly followed him, but was brought to a complete standstill when he saw what Bucky was looking at;
A life-size model of a blue whale, strung up from the ceiling in a massive two-story room, the walls lined with diorama scenes of various sea creatures. The whale was mid-dive, its massive head bowed towards onlookers entering the room, making eye contact with them as they made their way down from the viewing platform onto the main floor.
“Wow…” Steve remarked under his breath. “The newsies sure didn’t have any fliers about this…” He stepped forward and leaned on the guardrail at the edge of the platform, gripping the bar with his hands, in complete awe at the size of the animal in front of him.
“Apparently they added this in the sixties, so it’s new—or, I mean, it’s new for us, at least.” Steve could hear Buck speaking but he was still taking in everything happening in front of them. His eyes were drawn to a group of kids sitting cross-legged on the floor below the massive whale sculpture, watching a video about The Great Barrier Reef.
Steve smiled, thinking about his own kids, back at Candace’s art academy, and those same wide eyes, marveling at something as simple as Steve doing a cartoon sketch on a piece of scrap paper. He turned to look at Bucky, and for a brief moment, allowed himself to imagine a little pair of hands holding onto his boyfriend, reaching up to meet him.
“You wanna head downstairs?” Steve was snapped out of his daydreaming by Bucky’s words.
“Uh, yeah. Sure thing—” And they made their way down the stairs to the right, finding themselves underneath the whale’s massive white belly, covered in grooves that ran all the way from the tip of its enormous mouth to the start of its tail. The tail was raised up to the beautiful glass ceiling lit with striking blues, made to look like the ocean’s surface. They walked around the center platform (covered in wiggly children and their nervous teachers) hand in hand, observing the dioramas, until Bucky spotted one that caused him to gleefully dash to the corner of the room.
“Hey Steve, c’mere! You gotta see this!”
Steve couldn’t help but smile at how excited Bucky was. “What is it, Buck?”
As Steve approached, he noticed how dark the diorama was compared to the others. Then, as he got closer, he realized why Bucky was so excited. It was another whale sculpture, but this time, it was a sperm whale, emerging from the depths of the ocean while locked in combat with a colossal squid.
“Isn’t it amazing?”
“It sure is, Buck.” Steve nodded, observing the display. “The forced perspective is incredible.”
Bucky laughed—likely at Steve bringing up art terminology in casual conversation, then continued on about the exhibit. “Did you know that sperm whales and colossal squid really do this out in the wild? Sperm whales that get washed up on beaches often have sucker marks all over them from fights like this.”
Steve chuckled, “Maybe those pulp novels you used to fawn over were onto something.”
“Hey—” Bucky shoved him playfully with his shoulder, “A lot of science fiction comes from science fact, punk.”
“I dunno…” Steve stuck his hands in his pockets and kicked his heels, a smirk on his face. “Sounds like something a big nerd would say to sound cool.”
“Oh yeah?” Bucky stepped closer, pressing his chest to Steve’s, and the room suddenly got smaller. “Is it working?”
Bucky’s smile was captivating, and it was all for Steve. He took a step forward too. Their arms touched, the fabric of their shirt sleeves carrying the electricity between them. He could feel Bucky’s breath on his face, and every bit of warmth emanating from his body, and it was heaven.
Then, of course, his phone alarm went off.
“Oh shit, we have to go. The planetarium show is starting soon.” Steve hastily stuffed the device back in his pocket and turned on a dime, heading back towards the stairs that led up to the room with the giant clam. He could hear Bucky’s voice somewhere behind him, then footsteps following him as he walked as briskly as he could, back through the Hall of Biodiversity, then down the corridor towards the Hayden Planetarium.
Steve was finally able to stop and catch his breath when he stopped at the entrance to the planetarium show, comprised of a row of elevators leading up to the scale model of the sun which held the theater space. Bucky followed close behind.
“Hey, Steve, funny seeing you here,” Bucky said as he approached. Steve was still wheezing a little bit and couldn’t quip back at him as quickly as he would have liked. “What’s the rush, pal?”
Steve grimaced at Bucky as he saw him reaching into his pocket to grab Steve’s rescue inhaler. “I’m…ugh…I’m fine, Buck. Just…didn’t wanna be late…for the show.”
Bucky stuffed his hands in his pockets and took his place next to Steve in line. “Y’know, for a guy who’s been to outer space, you’re pretty keen on seeing this planetarium thing.”
Steve shrugged and looked down at his shoes. “I mean…I figured you’d wanna see it, Buck. Since you like that sort of thing.” He felt the solid warmth of Bucky’s prosthetic as it brushed up against his side.
Bucky shook his head and laughed. “God, I love you so much, doll.” The words fell from his mouth so naturally, Steve was taken aback. He knew Bucky loved him, of course he knew. He knew it in his bones. But sometimes, the sheer magnitude of that love caught him by surprise.
“I love you too, Buck.” His voice was small as he slid his flesh hand into Bucky’s metal one, and they got on the elevator.
They kept holding hands during the pre-show, and then when they found their seats inside the theater. It was a lot smaller on the inside than it looked from the outside, with four or five rows of seats spiraling out from the center of the circular room. There was a low murmur present throughout the space: ambient background music, adults talking in hushed voices, and the occasional shout or shriek from an excited child.
Bucky gently rubbed his fingers against Steve’s palm on the armrest between them.
“M’sorry about what I said last night, bud…” His voice was low too, gravelly in his throat. He leaned over, resting his cheek on the top of Steve’s head. “I don’t want you to think I hate your art shows or nothin’ like that, really—”
“Bucky,” Steve firmly cut him off mid-sentence, punctuated by a particularly strong hand squeeze. “It’s okay, I promise.” He rubbed his short hair against the underside of Bucky’s chin. “I wanted to do something nice for you today, to show you how much I love you, alright? I mean—your time off has been so sporadic lately, and…and I don’t wanna waste a second of time I have with you.”
Steve could feel Bucky’s cheeks pulling back into a smile as he spoke again. “Every second I’m with you is time well spent, bud, no matter what we get up to.” He turned briefly to kiss the top of Steve’s head, and the lights began to dim.
As they were whisked off to outer space, hand in hand, Steve couldn’t help but recall his first real trip to the stars; the intense loss and desperation hiding behind that sense of awe and wonder he had felt, as he was faced with the vast beauty of the cosmos. He remembered thinking, Bucky would’ve loved this.
He turned his face into the crook of Bucky’s neck and whispered to him, “Next time, Buck, I’m gonna take you to see the real thing.”
Bucky let out a quiet chuckle, and Steve reveled in the feeling of his chest vibrating with happiness. “Is that so?”
Steve left a short trail of kisses along his chin and grinned. “Swear on my life, Buck.”
1 new message from Sam
so…
how’d it go? ;)
After they came back down to Earth (as one of the more restless children in the audience had pleaded for them to do about halfway through the movie), they wandered around the museum at a more relaxed pace, hardly ever letting go of each other. Bucky excitedly guided Steve through the to-scale diagram of the solar system hanging inside the Rose Center. They nibbled on cookies shaped like Jupiter and Saturn while they wandered the Hall of African Mammals. When they finally made it to the Saurischian Dinosaurs, a kid asked for a picture in front of the Tyrannosaurus rex, and they happily obliged.
Steve got Sam’s message while Bucky was caught up reading the information placards surrounding the large carnivore.
it went well
he seems really happy <3
Sam responded almost instantly.
told ya, kid
trust ur love for him
hey!
who u callin kid?
haha :’) sorry old man
no disrespect!
Steve rolled his eyes as he stuffed his phone in his pocket and turned his attention back towards his date. He was fixated on a newer looking placard, on the edge of the exhibit.
“Hey Stevie…” He didn’t look up, just kept reading.
“Yeah Buck?”
“Y’know, this fossil here—” He pointed up at the imposing T-rex looming over them. “—was first brought here in 1915?”
Steve nodded. “That’s even older than us.”
“Sure is.” Bucky turned towards him and took a step closer. Steve decided in that moment that he preferred the warmth of Bucky’s shadow looming over him than that of some million-year-old bones.
Bucky gently took both of Steve’s hands into his own, cradling them carefully between their bodies. “I really appreciate you doin’ all this for me, Stevie, I really do.” His voice was soft and quiet. They were no longer standing in one of the crowded halls of the Natural History Museum. They were alone, in their own little world.
Bucky just stood there for a moment, gazing into Steve’s eyes, all the love in his heart plastered onto his face. He looked like he had something else to say, resting on the tip of his tongue, but he said nothing.
Steve tentatively spoke. “Yeah, Buck?”
He leaned down and pressed his lips to Steve, and Steve melted into him until he couldn’t tell where he ended and Bucky began.
“But Buck…You haven’t told me what your favorite part was yet!”
“Stevie, I swear to God, if you don’t—STOP!”
They were back home, safe and warm in their bed. Steve was straddling Bucky’s stomach, wiggling his fingers around in Bucky’s armpits. He couldn’t even begin to quantify how much he loved this—whatever this space was between Bucky’s next mission and the last. Where they could roll around in bed for a few moments or a few hours, and time would just dissipate around them.
Bucky was trying his hardest not to laugh, to keep up the appearance of being angry and scary and very likely to try and tickle Steve back. But Steve wasn’t about to let up that easy. His left hand migrated from Bucky’s armpit to the space between his chin and his neck, and Buck let out an honest-to-God squeal.
“C’mon, Buck!” He pleaded, sticking out his lower lip in a very cute and very convincing pout. “What was your favorite part of the museum?”
“Fine! Fine! I’ll tell you!” Bucky finally relented, bringing his sturdy hands up to press down on Steve’s forearms, holding them close to his heart. His breath was a little ragged as he looked up at Steve, his deep blue eyes sparkling, his messy brown hair splayed out across the pillows like a halo. Steve was in love.
“Remember that dinosaur exhibit? With that big T-rex in the middle? The one from 1915?”
Steve nodded, licking his lips as he looked down at the love of his life.
“Well…it wasn’t really my favorite part, but…it got me thinking…I dunno, I guess…” Bucky seemed to be closing up his shell a little, turning his head to the side and gazing out the window. “It kinda reminded me how old I am,” He shrugged. “And how much I’ve changed. How, when I used to get excited about some pulp novel that you’d grab for me from the corner store, there was no baggage attached to that, y’know? And we could just be.” He took in a deep, labored breath, and closed his eyes. “I just…sometimes, I wish I could be the old Buck again, y’know? For you, Stevie. So we could just be together, and not have to worry about all the other stuff.” His voice tapered off towards the end, swallowed up by their bedroom walls.
“Buck…” Steve sighed, softly pressing his fingers to the edge of Bucky’s chin and turning his head so he could look him in the eye. Those beautiful dark blues. Their hands quickly switched places, with Steve holding Bucky’s hands—both flesh and metal—up to his own chest. “Y’know, Sam told me this quote once—I don’t quite remember where it was from—but he said to me—” Steve took in a shallow breath, trying his best to recall the exact words. “It’s tempting to want to live in the past. It’s familiar, comfortable. But it’s where fossils come from.”
Bucky stared up at him, mouth slightly agape. His eyes were watering, and they looked as deep as oceans.
“I love you,” Steve said, just for him and no one else. He leaned down and gave Bucky a gentle kiss.
Bucky smiled back up at him. He laughed.
“I love you too, doll.”
That night, Steve dreamt of the two of them, walking hand in hand to the edge of the universe.