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‘How could this happen? Why did everything change so suddenly? And most importantly, when did we change?’ he sat there quietly thinking.
Deep down inside, he knew the answer to most of his questions was, ‘He was returning and she was leaving. It's as simple as that.’
It was Aerith’s farewell party. The atmosphere was very lively, rich with music, and dimly lit with candles on every table. People ate, drank, danced, socialized, and had a good time. Laughter and chatter could be heard even amongst loud music.
Even at a party, Leon found solitude. In spite of being with people, he was still alone.
He sat in a secluded corner dimly lit by a lone candle. He blew away the candle. The lack of light further added to his isolation. With the only source of light gone, he was now surrounded by the darkness, conveniently hidden from the normal eye.
‘We were all so happy together. But then things changed, we changed,’ he recollected solemnly as he knew that his relationship with the only girl, he had known to love was about to end even before it had begun.
‘We were always together. We shared our laughter, fears, joys, and even our pain together. But now she will be gone, leaving me behind. Alone,’ he leaned forward on his table; head hung in depression.
He realized that his sandcastle was about to be smashed and there wasn't anything he could do to prevent it. He was afraid that the flower of his love would wither away even before it got a chance to flourish.
‘After going through so many hardships together, she's just going to walk away from my life? That's not fair. Not fair at all.’ He leaned back on his chair and pulled out a rectangular box from his pocket, placing it on the table.
‘Everything which I cherish, everyone whom I love, and everything I get attached to, in the end, is always taken away from me.’
He looked at a small box and felt as if it was staring back at him, taunting him. Leon absentmindedly started twirling it as he was once again immersed in his thoughts.
‘I guess I am destined to be alone,’ he concluded grimly.
He clutched the box tight in his hand and closed his eyes as he tried to come to terms with the harsh cold fact. He felt as if he was about to lose a part of him, which he could never recover no matter how hard he tried.
A few quiet minutes had passed, but Leon was still lost in his trance. But a piece of music brought him back to reality.
‘That tune. It's the same one Aerith used to hum,’ he recalled upon hearing the music.
He couldn't help but relive a particular moment in his life attached to that tune. It was a memory, an event of the past, which guided him away from his painful present.
Flashback
After their ritualistic dinner, everyone had returned to their rooms. She was alone in the kitchen, or so she thought. She was doing the dishes while humming a tune softly, her voice barely carrying in the silence.
He was going out for a walk and wanted to tell Aerith so she wouldn't get worried. He approached the kitchen and saw Aerith lost in her own world. He observed that she was almost done with the dishes. Not wanting to disturb her, he stood there quietly, leaning against the wall in his usual manner. Unaware of Leon's presence, she started singing a song.
Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
She continued singing while washing her hands. After drying her hands with a paper towel, she turned around and became completely frozen to the spot when she saw him. He had his eyes closed and a tiny smile played on his lips, a rare sight indeed. He had heard that song before from her and he liked it.
Needless to say, she was embarrassed and was beet red.
“That was nice. You should sing more often,” he said sincerely.
“A com—compliment?” she wondered aloud as a soft smile graced her features.
“Maybe you should sing in public?” he teased.
“Pu—Public? No way!” she exclaimed sternly with a wave of her hand.
The smile on his face quickly disappeared as he posed his question. “Not even for me?”
She did not respond initially, but after contemplating for a while she answered with a bright smile, “Mayyyyyybe.”
Leon did not know who Aerith's song was addressed to, but right now he was the only one listening to it and he was happy for that.
End of Flashback
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar
Aerith was the center of attention. She wore a white dress with intricate flowers designed embellished in it. It was her departing party and Leon was missing. Even when she was surrounded by all the people of the town, she only looked for him - she searched for him.
‘Where did he go? I hope he hasn’t left the party. It’s my last day here, I am sure he won’t leave without meeting me. Where are you, Leon?’ she thought as her eyes scanned the room.
‘Every time I needed him, every time I wanted him, he has been there for me. He has been there with me every step of the way through all the hardships we had to endure. I’ve come to rely on him so much, I don’t know what I’d do without him. Honestly, I have lost count of how many times he has rescued me from danger and saved my life. The bottom line is Aerith exists because of Leon,’ she reflected on her time together.
She had all those thoughts swirling in her head, while her eyes were whirling around the room looking for only him.
‘Knowing Leon, he should be hiding in some dark, secluded corner,’ she figured.
It didn't take long for her to find him. After all, she knew Leon's likes and dislikes better than anyone else.
She waved at him to get his attention, but Leon sat there motionless, without even blinking. He did not know that she had her eyes on him.
Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you
He sat there motionless like a statue. Leon was not a man of many words, but his face revealed a lot to those who had learned the art of reading it, and Aerith practically held a Ph.D. in it.
The look on his face caused concern in Aerith.
‘He has that look on his face again. I've seen him being hurt, being down, and being in pain, but this – this is different. It's as if he is completely broken. I've never seen him so vulnerable, so weak. He has always been our strength, our pillar. Whenever we were down, he provided hope. Whenever we gave up, he provided the strength to carry on. Whenever we felt overwhelmed, we always looked up to him. But to see him like this hurts,’ she thought after a quick facial analysis.
She knew something was bothering him and she wondered what he didn’t tell her.
‘Oh Leon, what pain are you hiding from me? You've been part of my every struggle. You've been part of my every pain. You've been part of my every burden. And now when you are hurt, you won't even share your pain with me? But then again, you've always been like that,’ she thought as she made her way towards him.
‘One last time, please let me be a part of your pain, your struggle, your life, and a part of you,’ she pleaded internally, cutting through the crowd.
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Making Leon talk was an arduous task under normal circumstances, but to make him talk in that type of situation would be next to impossible. But Aerith had her ways to deal with Leon.
“Hey!” she said, softly tapping on his shoulder.
The voice shook him up from his momentary stupor. It was the voice of a person he was thinking of. It was the voice of a person who was at the core of Leon's problem.
“Dance with me?” she asked, leaning across the table. Their noses were barely apart by an inch.
It took a few seconds for Leon's mind to register what was going on and then respond. “I can't dance,” he said looking away.
“Sure you can!” She insisted, reassuringly placing her hand on his.
“No,” it was his simple one-word reply while pulling his hand out from under hers. An everlasting frown was plastered on his face.
“Not even for me?” she pleaded by grabbing both of his hands.
Those were the exact words that had started a spark between them. Those words were now coming back to haunt him.
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer
Some moments passed by as she waited for his response. She rolled her eyes and smiled. “You'll be fine. Come on!” she yanked him out of his chair without warning. “I can't be on the dance floor all by myself!” she complained, exasperated.
“Aerith I—" he resisted, but Aerith tugged even harder in response; she was not going to take no for an answer.
She dragged him all the way to the center of the dance floor. She faced him and placed one of his arms about her waist.
‘I wouldn't be able to let you go if you make me go through with this,’ he dreaded.
‘Please don't do this, Aerith,’ he pleaded to her silently, hoping that she would hear his thoughts.
She leaned closer to him. Their faces barely inches apart.
So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
‘Why are you doing this to me, Aerith? In a matter of a few days, you will be married to someone else. I am trying my best to let go of you and forget about my feelings for you. But you're making it hard. Too hard,’ he wished he could put his thoughts into words to let her know.
He opened his mouth in an attempt to do just that, but she beat him to it. “Shh, just watch and play along.”
She moved closer to him, her body straight and proper filled with confidence and joy, while he was unsure; it was normally vice versa. Their eyes meet and their dance begins. He followed her lead, but was always half a step behind.
Never before was her presence so comforting and at the same time so discomforting. Holding Aerith gave him a joy which he always sought, but it also brought the terror of letting her go. Lost in his thought, he stepped on her feet.
Biting her lip, she tried not to laugh and say ouch at the same time, but he read her expression. He began to drop his hands.
“I told you I can't dance,” he said, dropping his eyes. Their fingers untangled, and he started to move away from her.
She only smiled and took his arm gingerly. She looked into his eyes and said, “I know you can.”
Setting up the waltz position once more, she nodded, “Just follow the steps: make a box with your feet, flow with the music, 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.”
He followed along for a few short moments before repeating his earlier mistake. His face betrays its normal monotonous look, replacing it with embarrassment.
“I can't –”
“Don't.” She stopped him by placing a finger on his mouth.
He gently took her hand in his and said, “I'll probably end up breaking your foot by the end of this. If that happens, then you would have to limp all the way to your wedding altar. You wouldn't want that now, would you?” He tried to reason with her.
She looked at him, sincerity filling her voice and her features, “For a dance with you, I wouldn’t mind that.”
“I would just end up hurting you Aerith,” he confesses honestly, looking away from her.
“The only way you could hurt me is by leaving right now,” she persisted. She knew in her heart that he would never hurt her – it was the one thing he would never do, no matter the circumstance.
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
did you ever know.
That I had mine on you
‘Love hurts Aerith. Not loving you would hurt me and loving you might hurt you, either way, I lose.’
The sincerity and patience on her face morph into a silent plea for him to stay.
“I don't have a choice, do I?”
He knew he couldn't keep his grasp on her. No matter how tightly he held on – he knew that it wouldn't happen and that soon enough, she would slip through his fingers. But as he watched her smooth face, cheeks a rosy pink, and emerald eyes glimmering in the dim light, he was happy to be with her at this moment.
Feeling eyes on her, she looked up at him and smiled, receiving one back. She couldn't believe that he could affect her so much, simply with a smile.
It was unfortunate that Leon wasn't paying attention to his dancing. He leaned closer to Aerith, as she instinctively (during a dance) leaned back as though she thought he was trying to dip her.
Leaning too far forward, both of them almost fell.
“This really is not going to work,” he mumbled.
“Of course it would,” she said patiently, “think of it as a dance of enemies. Remember what you taught me? To dance with your enemy is to know their every movement before they make it and ultimately keep in time with them.”
He raised an eyebrow, wondering how in the world she remembers that. It was such a long time ago.
“When you put it that way it sounds much simpler,” he whispered.
As they moved together, their moves finally synchronized. She was glad that her new approach had worked.
Aerith felt Leon relax as he pulled her closer. Resting her head against his chest, she listened to his heartbeat before deciding to speak once more.
“Will you tell me now,” she thought this was the only chance she would get to ask, “what's bothering you?”
‘What do you want me to tell you, Aerith? That I am madly in love with you? That I need you? Or should I tell you that after going through hell together, I am scared to lose you? I wish I could tell you how I feel, Aerith. I wish I could share my pain with you. But I know that my truth, my feelings, my pain would just bring miseries to your life.’
After going through all that in his head, all Leon could muster was a simple, “Nothing.”
She closed her eyes. “I know you can fool the world, Leon, but you cannot fool me. You of all people should know that.”
‘I cannot trust myself to speak. I have no words to express my loss, my grievance. Words may convey the pain felt, but they may not express the pain felt. You are about to marry Cloud and you seem so happy about it. If I were to tell you that I love you and I want you to stay here with me then I am afraid, I might end up ruining your happiness. I can’t bear to see you sad. To see you happy, I am willing to embrace the grief – I'll learn to live on with you in my memories.’
Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
“Tell me, Leon, what is bothering you?” she asked again.
“I'm just concerned about Sora. No one has any clue about his whereabouts,” he lied, his words betrayed his thoughts.
“Leon, do you remember the time when I dragged you all the way out to the flower field to watch the meteor shower? Those shooting stars, that lit up the sky, I was so happy to see that enchanting and spectacular display in the sky and then you said to me that, ‘this passing moment may never come again so enjoy it while it last,’” she quoted him.
“Leon, all I am saying is that this passing moment may never come again. We don't know what future holds, but we are here together in this moment, so let's cherish it. Let's enjoy this moment together.”
‘I have a past to live off of and no future to go by Aerith. The only thing I can do is to enjoy this moment. This moment is all I will ever have.’
Nodding in acknowledgment, he gripped her hand as a new song picked up.
‘How can I let you know how much you mean to me, Aerith? I may be a protector of this world. I may be a savior from the heartless. But beneath all these coverings I am just a human being who loves you and would like to be loved by you. But I guess some secrets may never be known.’
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming
As the brass and violins slowly picked up, Aerith and Leon, yin and yang, black and white – all the opposites flowed together as one. Yin would be incomplete without yang, just as yang would be incomplete without yin. Wearing black and white, they complement each other perfectly, each adding balance to the other making them complete.
Each knew the other's next movement, stepping backward and forward in sync. They danced as if they were the only two people in that room. Each lived in the moment, and their eyes never left each other. Emerald mixed with hazel in such a way to make it seem like a dream.
As the song slowed to an end, each pushed against each other, needing each other for support. After their perfect movements, their bodies swayed with the slow music on its own. Their faces were close enough to feel the sweet breath of the other. They froze in that moment with their bodies entangled and their hearts united.
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
At that very moment, the fireworks shot into the sky, creating an explosion of colors that sprinkled down on them as they watched it through the glass ceiling.
Aerith broke eye contact to look towards the night sky. The enchanting display color mixture and patterns lit up the dark sky, with twinkling stars providing the perfect backdrop.
For those few moments, they had melted away from reality. The only thing that held Leon's attention was the angel in front of him. He watched her eyes glitter with the illumination of the night.
‘I don't want the future. I want the present to stand still. I just want to stay here with you,’ he thought looking at her.
They both could live in the moment eternally, but it was Leon who fell back to reality first. The closer he got to Aerith, the harder it would be to let her go. With that ending thought, he gently pushed off of Aerith, not waiting to see the confused or shocked expression on her features. Robotically, he turned and walked away from Aerith, walking out of her view, and possibly out of her life forever.
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer
Aerith was flabbergasted as Leon's odd behavior. It was quite surprising that for someone who read Leon's facial expressions so well; she had failed miserably to read his feelings.
She could swear that she saw tears in his eyes. For once she did not know what to do. Or perhaps she knew what to do. Maybe she realized what was going on, but lacked the courage to face it.
When Leon walked away from her, in that moment, she realized what he meant to her. The pain she felt in her heart at that moment was incomparable to anything she had felt before. She had felt the pain of missing Cloud for years but in that one moment the pain of missing Leon surpassed it all. Ironically, it was the pain that taught her about love.
She slowly made her way to where Leon was previously seated. She sat in Leon's seat with eyes closed and head hung low. “Oh God, what have I done? I-I should have told him that I—” she couldn't finish her sentence as a silent tear trickled down her cheek.
Strangely, when the tear fell it splashed onto something and its droplets scattered in all directions. The wet droplets on her hand demanded her attention.
She slowly opened her eyes and saw a small rectangular box on the table. She remembered that when she had approached Leon earlier in the night, he was twirling it absentmindedly.
She opened it hesitantly through her blurry and watery eyes. The box revealed a simple metal ring. She pulled out the ring and read the words etched in it, "Forever Together."
“Oh Leon,” was all she could utter before her emotions poured out of her eyes.
Time may heal all wounds, but it leaves scars that can never be forgotten.