Chapter Text
2012, after New York’s alien invasion
“You guys have to see this,” Tony yells as he prances into the dining room and smacks a tablet onto the table.
Steve picks it up.
“Avengers, saviour of New York. About them and their lives,” he reads out loud, then frowns.
“Of course, there’s me, who’s already a celebrity, but you all! All of you, now celebs alongside me! Of course, you aren’t as famous, but still,” Tony rambles on.
“I don’t wake up and sing the American anthem immediately everyday and listen to it on loop for my workout,” Steve’s frown deepened as he scrolled through the article.
“They’re bound to get make up crazy rumours anyways. But really, you don’t?” Clint teases, popping out from a vent.
“Jesus Christ!” Tony shouts, clutching his chest dramatically.
“No, just me and Clint,” Natasha supplies from the other end of the room as Tony shrieks again in surprise.
“Do you two really have to scare me like that every. goddamn. day?”
Clint and Natasha look at each other before turning their heads back to Tony.
“I’m a spy, he’s a marksman. It’s good training for us,” Natasha calmly points out, finally removing herself from the pretzel like shape she was twisted in when she was sitting on the couch’s side.
“Yeah, and it’s to keep you on your toes,” Clint adds, climbing out from the vent.
“Clint, you don’t have a secret partner do you? Because there are headlines claiming you kissed some woman and someone got a picture,” Steve says.
“Uhm, no?” Clint laughs nervously.
“He’s very sex deprived and girlfriend-less, I can assure you,” Natasha interjects, covering up for Clint.
“I can probably change that, set you up on a few dates,” Tony muses.
“No!” Clint protests, horrified.
Tony just grins.
“Anyone knows where Bruce is? There’s a theory about him that he is immortal and honestly, with Hulk, I’m not even sure if I can definitely deny that,” Tony continues.
“Your Science bro is currently in the lab working,” Steve replies.
“Natasha’s a little quiet here, care to share your views or juicy secrets?” Tony asks, wiggling his eyebrows.
“My secret is that I can peel your skin from your body in probably twenty seconds, a minute tops,” Natasha casually answers.
“Not sharing then,” Tony concludes.
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After that incident, many more reports flow in.
And out of all the things, they now seem to be targeting the Avengers’ love lives.
“According to this one I’m dating Natasha. Ew!” Clint says, scrolling through the news on his Starkphone.
“Speak for yourself, I would totally date Natasha,” Tony casually replies, and Steve chokes on his sandwich.
“Lucky for me, I would never,” Natasha announces, striding in.
“You just got friend-zoned Stark,” Clint whoops.
“My heart can take shrapnel, but not thou’s rejection and the pain of loss,” Tony declares dramatically.
“Thou art false as hell, thy doesn’t care,” Natasha shoots back.
“Bruce! Natasha’s being mean!” Tony whines.
“I’d say it’s justified, you man-child,” Pepper sighs as she enters.
“Looks like you all have seen the reports and articles. Well, if any of you are uncomfortable, actions can be taken to prevent them from happening again, at least for some time,” Pepper announces.
“I think it’s alright, it’s kind of funny to see these honestly,” Clint says.
“Yeah, there’s this ridiculous one about me dating Steve,” Natasha says.
“We’re definitely only friends,” Steve agrees.
“Well, if it isn’t bringing too much trouble,” Pepper concedes, takes Tony’s coffee, ignores his protests and leaves.