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Lan Xichen is strangely nervous when he walks up to Lotus Pier. He’s not used to that feeling, doesn’t like how it makes him jittery, and he wonders if he’s doing the right thing.
Jiang Cheng never followed up on his offer, never asked Lan Xichen for more lullabies or soothing music, but Lan Xichen couldn’t get the thought out of his head once he had made the offer.
And it was such a small thing to do for him, too.
Lan Xichen has brought Liebing, as well as his own guqin, even though he isn’t as good with it as Lan Wangji is. But Lan Xichen doesn’t know if Jiang Cheng or Jin Ling have a preference, and he doesn’t want to offend Jiang Cheng.
Lan Xichen suspects that the memories of the last person who played a flute are still haunting Jiang Cheng after all.
“Sect Leader Lan,” a disciple greets him, and Lan Xichen bows to her. “We didn’t know you were coming.”
“I didn’t announce myself,” Lan Xichen admits with a sheepish smile. “Is Sect Leader Jiang around?” he asks, but before she can answer, Lan Xichen hears the screams of a baby.
“Ah, I see,” Lan Xichen says and then follows the wails without waiting for an answer.
He finds Jiang Cheng at the same pier he found him all those nights ago, and yet again, Jin Ling is screaming at the top of his tiny lungs. He still manages an impressive volume.
Jiang Cheng looks exhausted.
His eyes go wide when he sees Lan Xichen and again, he appears to become guarded.
“Sect Leader Lan,” Jiang Cheng still greets him with a tightly pressed voice and Lan Xichen smiles at him.
“I thought we were past that,” he easily says and his heart beats heavily in his chest, until Jiang Cheng relaxes slightly.
“What are you doing here?” Jiang Cheng wants to know, his voice barely audible over Jin Ling’s continuous screams, and nothing Jiang Cheng tries to shush him works.
“The lullaby?” Lan Xichen asks and Jiang Cheng shakes his head.
“It doesn’t work anymore,” he admits and Lan Xichen gets the impression that if it was anyone else, there would be tears of exhaustion.
“That’s why I’m here, actually,” Lan Xichen admits, and dares to walk closer to Jiang Cheng and his crying charge. “I brought you more lullabies.”
“Didn’t you say you’d sent a disciple?”
“I said I could do that if it would make you more comfortable. You didn’t object to it being me, so I thought I’d do it myself.”
“I don’t want to steal your time,” Jiang Cheng argues as he puts Jin Ling onto the other shoulder, but it doesn’t settle him down either.
“It’s freely given,” Lan Xichen promises and he knows Jiang Cheng will give in when he slumps where he stands.
“Please,” Jiang Cheng whispers, and there’s real desperation in his voice.
“Guqin or flute?” Lan Xichen wants to know as he gets the collections of lullabies out of his bag.
“He likes it when someone sings, so guqin?” Jiang Cheng asks and Lan Xichen settles down, his guqin before him as he opens the first book.
He doesn’t believe Jin Ling will be satisfied with just anyone singing, but he doesn’t want to aggravate Jiang Cheng any further.
He immediately starts to play, singing as his hands coax the notes out of his guqin. Jin Ling doesn’t settle down, but he’s clearly interested in the music and he visibly calms down when Jiang Cheng mutters along once he gets the hang of the melody.
Lan Xichen lowers his voice when Jiang Cheng’s gets progressively louder and steadier and soon enough it’s only Jiang Cheng singing along.
Jin Ling pats Jiang Cheng’s face as he snuggles closer to him, finally not crying anymore, and the relief is palpable on Jiang Cheng’s face.
Lan Xichen plays the song two more times, until he’s sure that Jin Ling is really asleep, before he slowly lets the song come to an end.
“He likes your voice,” Lan Xichen whispers, mindful of the sleeping Jin Ling, and Jiang Cheng sighs.
“Too bad he chose the worst singer,” Jiang Cheng mutters and then, before Lan Xichen can protests that, motions for Lan Xichen to follow him as he puts Jin Ling down in his bed.
Lan Xichen stops once again at the doorway and watches with fond eyes as Jiang Cheng carefully lays Jin Ling down. Afterwards, once Jiang Cheng is sure Jin Ling won’t wake up immediately after Jiang Cheng leaves him, he meets Lan Xichen in the hallway again, much like he has all those nights ago.
They even sit side by side again.
“Jiang Cheng, you need help with this,” Lan Xichen softly says when Jiang Cheng already jerked himself awake two times with the effort to not fall asleep.
“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng immediately snaps back and Lan Xichen knows he made a mistake saying that. “I can handle this alone!”
“But maybe you shouldn’t,” Lan Xichen still tries, because it makes his heart ache to see Jiang Cheng work himself to the point of exhaustion like this. “Maybe you don’t have to.”
“And who’s going to help me? I’m not going to hand Jin Ling over to some wet nurse just because I’m a little behind on sleep.”
“You’re exhausted,” Lan Xichen gently corrects because Jiang Cheng is more than a little behind on sleep.
He should probably insist that he lays down with Jin Ling, just so Jiang Cheng even gets an hour or two. Those shadows under his eyes cannot be healthy.
“I’m not weak!”
“No one said that,” Lan Xichen tries to placate him. “I am just concerned.”
“Jin Ling is fine, he’s healthy and strong.”
“I’m not concerned about Jin Ling,” Lan Xichen softly says and smiles sadly at Jiang Cheng.
The man is ready to keel over at any point now, and Lan Xichen wonders why no one has intervened yet. Maybe no one dared to, given how Jiang Cheng bristles at his words.
“I don’t need help. I can do this alone. My sister—”
“Never intended to do this alone,” Lan Xichen interrupts him, quite unexpected as it seems, with how Jiang Cheng’s head snaps around to him, but Lan Xichen refuses to be quieted by that. “She expected to raise her son with her husband and his family and you. No one expected her to do it alone. No one expects you to do it alone, either.”
Jiang Cheng is silent for a long moment, but Lan Xichen can see how he works his jaw, can see the fine sheen in his eyes and he unconsciously leans closer to Jiang Cheng, offers his comfort.
“And who’s going to help me?” Jiang Cheng eventually asks, voice bitter and harsh. “It’s not like there’s anyone left. It’s not like anyone wants to.”
“I can,” Lan Xichen offers, and he’s surprised by his own words, but he also finds that he means it.
If Jiang Cheng wants him to, he’s going to help. With lullabies for Jin Ling, with providing a shoulder to sleep on for Jiang Cheng; whatever he will be allowed to give.
“Right,” Jiang Cheng mutters under his breath and goes to push himself up from the floor.
Lan Xichen snatches his wrist in his hand, effectively stopping him from leaving.
“I would. I want to. If you would allow me to.”
“So what? You’re going to come here to play lullabies?” Jiang Cheng demands to know and Lan Xichen doesn’t even hesitate.
“Yes.”
“Provide a lap for me to sleep on?” Jiang Cheng boldly goes on, even though a faint blush dusts his cheeks.
“If it helps you to actually sleep, then yes,” Lan Xichen says again, no hesitation in his voice.
Jiang Cheng stares dumbly at him.
“You must be joking. No one would want to help me.”
“I am not. And I am certain there are more than a few people in your sect who would love to help you, Jiang Cheng. You just have to let them.”
There’s a tense silence, but Jiang Cheng sinks back down next to Lan Xichen, so it can’t be too bad.
“He’s all I have left of her,” Jiang Cheng eventually mumbles, as he hides his face in his knees.
“And no one is asking to take that away from you. We want to help you, not rob you of Jin Ling. If you don’t want me to play for him again, I won’t. If all I can do for you is reassure you that I will wake you when Jin Ling wakes up, then I am more than happy to do that.”
“What’s your uncle going to say to that?” Jiang Cheng wants to know and it already sounds like victory to Lan Xichen.
“He’s going to understand it. Some children are more fussy than others, it’s only to be expected that taking care of them means more strain for the parents or guardians.”
“Jin Ling is not a bother,” Jiang Cheng snaps and Lan Xichen would be slightly annoyed with how Jiang Cheng purposefully misunderstands everything he says, but the man is exhausted and in a stressful situation.
Lan Xichen is going to give him as many passes as he needs.
“I didn’t say that,” he reassures him. “And it’s not what I meant, either.”
Jiang Cheng visibly struggles with that answer, until he finally relaxes again.
“How do you know so much about babies?” he wants to know and Lan Xichen smiles at that question.
“I like to help out at the nursery. The kids like the flute,” he admits, glad Liebing is sturdy and a very patient spiritual tool.
“Maybe you could try the flute on Jin Ling, too?” Jiang Cheng carefully asks and Lan Xichen nods.
“I can try, though he does seem to have a thing for your voice, so you’ll have to do the singing.”
“I apologize in advance for your ears,” Jiang Cheng mutters and leans his head against the wall.
“So far my ears have been very pleased,” Lan Xichen gives back, still flushing at the thought of comparing Jiang Cheng’s singing to that of a siren. “Why don’t you lay down?” Lan Xichen then dares to ask, because he’s here for Jiang Cheng’s benefit as much as Jin Ling’s.
“I’m pretty sure I drooled on you last time we did this,” Jiang Cheng drily gives back and Lan Xichen huffs out a laugh.
“And I did not mind,” he gives back and then nudges Jiang Cheng with his shoulder. “Please, Jiang Cheng, I just want you to rest.”
“You’ll have an eye on Jin Ling?” Jiang Cheng asks and Lan Xichen didn’t know victory could taste this sweet.
“And an ear as well,” he promises.
Jiang Cheng hesitates for a moment longer, before he lays down, in exactly the same position as last time, and Lan Xichen rests his hands on his shoulder and head again.
“Sing me the lullaby again?” Jiang Cheng mutters, though Lan Xichen is sure he’ll be asleep as soon as he closes his eyes.
“Sure,” he still easily gives back, and immediately starts to hum the melody, before he softly starts singing under his breath.
It’s just loud enough to reach Jiang Cheng, who goes boneless with a soft sigh.
Lan Xichen circles through the same song more times than he cares to count, but he finds he doesn’t mind it at all.
Not when Jiang Cheng trusts him to guard his and Jin Ling’s sleep.