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Lan Xichen is worrying Jiang Cheng’s letters between his fingers.
He had been both elated and worried to receive a letter from Jiang Cheng. Elated, because Jiang Cheng wrote him first and he even asked for his help. Worried, because Jiang Cheng wrote him first and asked for his help.
Either Jiang Cheng was finally accepting Lan Xichen’s genuine offer of help, or he was simply so desperate that he didn’t know what else to do.
Lan Xichen hopes for the first but fears it is the latter.
So he hadn’t hesitated to get on Shuoyue and by now Lotus Pier is already in sight. When he touches down a disciple bows to him.
“Sect Leader Jiang said to tell you he is at the usual pier,” the disciple tells Lan Xichen, who nods and immediately moves to find Jiang Cheng.
The disciple stops him with a clearing how his throat.
“Yes?” Lan Xichen asks, even though he itches to move and find Jiang Cheng.
“Zewu-Jun, thank you for helping him when he won’t allow us to,” the disciple says and Lan Xichen softens.
“He will, eventually,” Lan Xichen tells him, because he is sure of that.
Jiang Cheng will eventually come to accept that his people want nothing more than to help him and that it’s okay to accept the help.
The disciple bows to him again, and Lan Xichen smiles reassuringly at him, before he moves to finally find Jiang Cheng.
The way to the pier is already more familiar to Lan Xichen than it probably should be, after having walked down this way only twice before, but even so, Jin Ling can be heard from a distance, so it wouldn’t have been hard to find Jiang Cheng either way.
When Lan Xichen finally come to the pier, worry bubbles up inside him almost immediately. Jin Ling is crying so hard he’s almost purple in the face and Jiang Cheng looks like he hasn’t slept in at least two days.
“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Xichen says and rushes forward, though he hovers his hands over Jin Ling’s small body, and Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, not sure if he’s allowed to touch.
“He won’t stop,” Jiang Cheng gets out and he sounds seconds away from crying. “And I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”
“Okay,” Lan Xichen softly says, barely audible over Jin Ling’s crying, and then gently touches Jiang Cheng’s elbow. “Can I?” he asks with a nod towards Jin Ling and he doesn’t miss how Jiang Cheng’s fingers tighten on the boy.
Jiang Cheng opens his mouth as if to say something, but in the end he only nods.
He truly must be exhausted to give in that easily, Lan Xichen thinks but then concentrates on Jin Ling.
“Have you been to a healer?” Lan Xichen asks Jiang Cheng who helplessly shakes his head.
“That’s okay,” Lan Xichen says, even though he’s not quite convinced of that, but he doesn’t say anything else and instead he starts checking over Jin Ling.
His stomach isn’t hard, so it’s most likely not a colic and he tells Jiang Cheng as much. It’s only when he gently moves a finger over Jin Ling’s face and Jin Ling immediately tries to stuff it into his mouth that Lan Xichen realizes what’s wrong with him, and he relaxes.
“He’s alright,” Lan Xichen immediately tells Jiang Cheng who throws him an incredulous look. “He’s teething, that’s all.”
“Oh. Oh, he’s growing so fast,” Jiang Cheng breathes out, and he sways on the spot.
Clearly the only thing keeping him upright was his worry for Jin Ling and now that that’s gone he’s ready to keel over at any moment.
“You need to sleep,” Lan Xichen carefully says, and he does not expect the desperate laugh Jiang Cheng lets out at that.
“He cries even worse when I put him down,” Jiang Cheng admits. “And I can’t fall asleep with him in my arms, what if I drop him?”
It’s a valid concern, Lan Xichen will admit that, but it’s not helpful right now.
Lan Xichen wants to offer to hold Jin Ling while Jiang Cheng rests, but he isn’t sure Jiang Cheng would welcome that, and Lan Xichen doesn’t want to ruin what they have. Like this, at least, Jiang Cheng accepts the minimum of help.
“Can you—would you—,” Jiang Cheng starts and it’s clear the words don’t come easy to him, so Lan Xichen just puts a reassuring hand on his arm.
“Anything,” he promises and isn’t prepared for the snort Jiang Cheng lets out but he sobers up quickly enough.
“Would you hold him for a moment? Just so I can rest for half an hour?” Jiang Cheng eventually gets out, and Lan Xichen tries his best not to smile too brightly at Jiang Cheng.
“Of course I would,” he gives back instantly and is very careful with Jin Ling when Jiang Cheng passes him the still screaming boy.
“Do you have a toy he can chew on? Sometimes that helps,” Lan Xichen asks Jiang Cheng who nods and takes two steps away from Lan Xichen before he comes to a halt, hands clearly itching to reach out for Jin Ling.
“I’m right behind you,” Lan Xichen promises him and walks closely after Jiang Cheng who finally leads them to his room.
Lan Xichen hovers yet again at the thresh hold, but he makes sure Jin Ling is in Jiang Cheng’s line of sight the whole time. Not that he could even run away with the boy, since he’s still screaming his head off.
“I have this,” Jiang Cheng eventually says and offers Jin Ling a little rattle.
The end immediately disappears in Jin Ling’s mouth as he tries to gnaw on it.
“He stopped crying,” Jiang Cheng breathes and slumps against the doorway.
“For now,” Lan Xichen says, because he knows Jin Ling will pick it back up sooner or later. “And you need to sleep,” Lan Xichen tells Jiang Cheng and gently pushes him back into the room, closer to the bed.
“I can’t—,” Jiang Cheng starts and eyes the inside of his room.
Lan Xichen knows Jiang Cheng can’t simply invite him into his private room, and even though he would prefer it if Jiang Cheng slept in an actual bed, he nods towards the hallway.
“How about we sit?” Lan Xichen asks and takes a step away from the room.
Jiang Cheng follows him as if he’s tethered to Jin Ling and when Lan Xichen sinks down on the floor, Jiang Cheng follows his example.
“One of these days you’re going to get permanent stains on your robes,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, but Lan Xichen doesn’t mind that one bit.
He shifts Jin Ling in his arms, so that Jiang Cheng can put his head on Lan Xichen’s lap again.
“As long as you get some sleep, I don’t care,” Lan Xichen honestly tells him when Jiang Cheng puts his head down and Jiang Cheng sighs.
“I should be better at this,” he mumbles into Lan Xichen’s robes, and Lan Xichen shakes his head.
“No, you’re doing fine,” he reassures Jiang Cheng.
He wants to add that Jiang Cheng would be doing even better if he would finally accept some help from his people, but Jiang Cheng came to him and asked for help, so that’s progress already. Lan Xichen doesn’t want to destroy that, and so he keeps quiet.
Lan Xichen is pretty sure Jiang Cheng fell asleep the moment he closed his eyes, but he still starts humming one of the many lullabies he hasn’t yet shown to Jiang Cheng.
Jin Ling is still chewing away at the rattle, but he’s looking at Lan Xichen with big eyes as he registers the music and Lan Xichen quickly starts singing.
Jin Ling really seems to enjoy that more than just the humming, and Lan Xichen hopes he can keep Jin Ling occupied like this for at least a little while, so that Jiang Cheng might even get a whole hour of uninterrupted sleep.
He’s not quite that lucky, since Jin Ling starts to cry long before that, and of course it startles Jiang Cheng awake.
“Jin Ling,” he breathes out in worry and Lan Xichen puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“Is right here,” he tells Jiang Cheng who cranes his neck to find Jin Ling.
Lan Xichen is worried to find that Jiang Cheng’s eyes are even more bloodshot than before and he seems more out of it, too.
“You should go back to sleep. It’s just the teething, he’ll settle down soon enough. He’s fine,” Lan Xichen tells Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng looks at Jin Ling for a moment longer before he turns his eyes towards Lan Xichen.
“You promise?” he asks, voice sleep rough and Lan Xichen nods solemnly.
“I promise.”
Jiang Cheng seems to fight with himself for a long moment but then he nods and settles his head back down in Lan Xichen’s lap.
Despite the still ongoing wailing Jiang Cheng falls asleep against Lan Xichen almost instantly and Lan Xichen very carefully does not prod at the warm feeling in his chest when he realizes that it’s because Jiang Cheng trusts him. That Jiang Cheng trusts him with Jin Ling.
When the disciple who welcomed him to Lotus Pier brings him a tray with tea and some snacks a few hours later, Lan Xichen smiles at him without stopping his soft singing. Lan Xichen bows his head in thanks but the disciple shakes his head at him.
“Thank you,” he mouths with a bow and leaves as quietly as he came, so that he doesn’t wake Jiang Cheng or Jin Ling, who finally cried himself into an exhausted sleep as well.
Lan Xichen sits and sings until his legs go numb and his voice cracks, and then he shifts over to humming again until his throat feels too sore to even do that anymore.
Lan Xichen holds his breath when he stops, but both Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling peacefully slumber on—at least for now—and Lan Xichen smiles.
He’d be happy to sing for Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling for every day of the week, if it gave them peace like that, Lan Xichen thinks but promises to never voice that thought.
It’s enough that he gets to help like this, after all.