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By now Lan Xichen is used to getting letters from Yunmeng Jiang. Jiang Cheng isn’t one to keep to a schedule when writing Lan Xichen, but he does keep him informed about Jin Ling and his sleeping patterns and which lullabies he seems to enjoy the most.
Lan Xichen likes getting these updates, even though he would prefer to hear how Jiang Cheng is doing as well.
What Lan Xichen is not used to is getting a letter from Jiang Mingli, who he doesn’t even know.
Lan Xichen’s stomach swoops dangerously when he realizes that the letter with the lotus seal in his hands is not from Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen doesn’t allow himself to think of all the horrible implications this could have.
He just received a letter from Jiang Cheng yesterday. Surely, he is still alright. Surely, nothing could have happened to him in that short amount of time.
Instead of dwelling on the numerous possibilities that flit through his mind, Lan Xichen is quick to open the letter and he scans the content almost faster than his brain is able to process.
The most important part is that it doesn’t speak of death or injuries and Lan Xichen takes a deep breath before he reads the letter again, paying more attention this time.
While it’s not as dire as Lan Xichen had first feared, the content still gives him cause to worry, and Lan Xichen goes to find his uncle to let him know he’ll be gone for another few days.
Lan Qiren doesn’t seem too pleased by Lan Xichen’s continued absence, but when his eyes fall on the letter in Lan Xichen’s hand he softens a bit.
“You should take Jingyi and A-Yuan one of these days,” Lan Qiren absently remarks and Lan Xichen realizes that it’s not a bad idea, at least once Jin Ling is a bit older.
A-Yuan is still recuperating from his fever and Lan Jingyi is loud and rough and right now Jin Ling is still too small for that. But it is a good idea and Lan Xichen bows his head.
“Thank you, shufu, I will,” he gives back and has to hide his smile when his uncle shoos him out of the room.
Lan Xichen doesn’t waste any more time and mounts Shuoyue to fly to Lotus Pier, repeating the letter in his head over and over again.
Jiang Mingli had assured him that Jin Ling is doing very well, and that Jiang Cheng was physically doing fine, but before Lan Xichen could relax at those news Jiang Mingli had gone on how worried he was about Jiang Cheng, and that he didn’t seem to take the proper care of himself.
I’m sorry for asking this of you, Sect Leader Lan, but if you could find your way to Lotus Pier once more in the foreseeable future, it would put my mind at ease.
If his disciples were already reaching out for Lan Xichen, then Jiang Cheng must really worry them.
Lan Xichen touches down a little outside of Lotus Pier but of course a disciple immediately comes to attend to him.
“Sect Leader Lan, Sect Leader Jiang didn’t inform us of your arrival, please forgive us,” the disciple says with a low bow and Lan Xichen shakes his head at him.
“That’s because my arrival wasn’t scheduled. Please, if you would, could you inform Jiang Mingli that I am here? And not tell Jiang Cheng about it yet?” Lan Xichen carefully asks but going by the clear relief on the disciple’s face he knows why Lan Xichen would ask for Jiang Mingli first.
“Of course.”
The disciple hurries away and it isn’t long, before Jiang Mingli approaches Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen realizes with a start that it’s the same disciple who welcomed him the last time Lan Xichen came to Lotus Pier and who brought them snacks when Jiang Cheng finally fell asleep.
Lan Xichen probably should have thought of that sooner.
Jiang Mingli bows to him, and when he comes back up Lan Xichen realizes that he’s a lot younger than he at first thought. He’s barely an adult, if Lan Xichen had to guess.
“Sect Leader Lan, I hope you’ll forgive me for writing you directly,” Jiang Mingli starts and Lan Xichen smiles at him.
“There is no need to worry. What is the problem?” he asks, because for all that Jiang Mingli had stated his worry, he never outright said how Jiang Cheng is doing.
“Sect Leader Jiang is—too preoccupied with everything else to care for himself,” Jiang Mingli starts. “Young Master Jin is doing fine, he’s well and healthy, but Sect Leader Jiang, he’s not sleeping. Or eating,” Jiang Mingli adds and Lan Xichen frowns at him.
“What do you mean he’s not sleeping? Is Jin Ling still teething?” Lan Xichen wants to know and Jiang Mingli shakes his head.
“No, Sect Leader Lan. Young Master Jin is sleeping very well these past few weeks. But Sect Leader Jiang doesn’t take the chance to sleep himself. He tends to Sect matters when his nephew is asleep. And I haven’t seen him sit down for a meal in almost a month now. He snacks whatever is in reach, but if there’s nothing there, he simply forgets about it,” Jiang Mingli tells Lan Xichen and then bows again.
“Sect Leader Lan, if you could talk to him, this disciple would be forever indebted to you.”
“There’s no need for that,” Lan Xichen says and gently lifts Jiang Mingli out of his bow. “How about you have some food prepared for us at the usual pier and I’ll get Jiang Cheng to actually sit down for a meal?”
“Please,” Jiang Mingli breathes out.
Lan Xichen can see just how worried he is for Jiang Cheng and it warms his heart to know that Jiang Cheng has people in Lotus Pier who care this deeply for him.
“I will see to it,” Lan Xichen promises and Jiang Mingli hurries away, no doubt to inform the kitchen to get a meal ready.
Lan Xichen doesn’t wait for Jiang Cheng to find him, or for a disciple to lead him anywhere; he simply makes his way over to Jiang Cheng’s personal quarters, to see if he can find him there.
Jiang Cheng is in fact there; bowed over letters while Jin Ling seems to be asleep in his bed.
Lan Xichen takes a moment to look Jiang Cheng over and it seems that Jiang Mingli has been telling him the truth. Jiang Cheng is pale and definitely has lost weight—weight he didn’t have to lose to begin with—and with the way he’s blinking at the letter in his hands, it seems that his eyes are stinging from exhaustion.
“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Xichen lowly calls out for him and Jiang Cheng startles badly.
“What the fuck,” Jiang Cheng hisses once he has himself under control again, and he throws a look at the still peacefully sleeping Jin Ling, before he throws the letter down and comes out of his room.
“What are you doing here? Is something wrong?” Jiang Cheng asks and he sounds frantic.
“Nothing is wrong,” Lan Xichen reassures him with a smile. “Can’t I simply drop by to see you?”
Jiang Cheng frowns as if that possibility didn’t even cross his mind and Lan Xichen’s heart goes heavy in his chest when he realizes that Jiang Cheng still doesn’t think of them as friends.
“It seems rather unlikely that you would,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and then his eyes go wide when he sees how a meal is prepared right outside his room.
“What the hell is going on?” Jiang Cheng demands to know and Lan Xichen looks over his shoulder to smile at Jiang Mingli.
“We’re having a picnic,” Lan Xichen decidedly tells Jiang Cheng and gently tugs on his sleeve to get him out of his room.
“I don’t have time for whatever this is,” Jiang Cheng complains and Lan Xichen stops to look at him.
“You don’t have time to eat?” he asks and he allows all his worry to bleed into his voice.
Jiang Cheng crumbles under it like paper.
“Fine,” he breathes out and sits down, his back against a wall. “If it makes you happy.”
“It does,” Lan Xichen give back and sits down next to him. “How’s Jin Ling?”
“Asleep,” Jiang Cheng says, his head tilted back so it can rest against the wall and his eyes closed. “But he’s well, actually.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Lan Xichen says and takes the liberty to fill a plate for Jiang Cheng. “Eat,” he nudges Jiang Cheng who opens one eye but doesn’t make a move.
“Why are you really here?” Jiang Cheng asks him again and Lan Xichen sighs but he still insists that Jiang Cheng takes the plate.
“Jiang Mingli wrote me,” he admits and Jiang Cheng’s head snaps up as he glares down the pier where Jiang Mingli vanished after delivering the food.
“How dare he,” Jiang Cheng hisses and Lan Xichen puts a calming hand on his arm.
“He is worried about you,” he tells Jiang Cheng, “and I can see why.”
“Jin Ling is doing fine,” Jiang Cheng gives back and Lan Xichen swallows a sigh.
“But what about you?” Lan Xichen wants to know and Jiang Cheng stares at him as if he doesn’t speak his language anymore.
“What about me? I’m doing fine, too,” Jiang Cheng eventually bites out and Lan Xichen shakes his head.
“You’re not,” he softly says. “Pardon my words, but you look like shit. When was the last time you slept?”
“I nap with Jin Ling,” Jiang Cheng gives back.
“That’s not what I mean. When was the last time you slept more than five hours at once?”
Jiang Cheng blinks at him, plate forgotten in his hands, and Lan Xichen knows better than to wait for an answer that will never come.
“When was the last time you sat down for a whole meal?”
“When was the last conference?” Jiang Cheng immediately asks back and Lan Xichen shakes his head at him.
“You didn’t attend.”
“Oh,” Jiang Cheng says. “Then—,” he thoughtfully says but Lan Xichen interrupts him.
“You don’t remember,” he says. “And that is unacceptable. So eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” Jiang Cheng tries but before Lan Xichen can call bullshit on that, Jiang Cheng’s stomach growls.
“I can hear that,” Lan Xichen says with a teasing smile and nudges the plate again. “Eat, Wanyin, please.”
Jiang Cheng looks like he wants to argue again, but then he picks up his chopsticks and Lan Xichen counts it as a victory.
It becomes clear how starved Jiang Cheng is when he shovels the food into his mouth. Lan Xichen watches it with worry, but he doesn’t comment on it for now.
It’s only when Jiang Cheng is almost done with his food that Lan Xichen speaks again.
“Wanyin, you need help,” Lan Xichen carefully starts and he expects the tension that seeps back into Jiang Cheng.
“I do not,” he bites out, as he puts the plate down. “Why do you always insist on that. I am not so weak.”
“I didn’t say you are,” Lan Xichen tries to calm him down. “But you can’t do this forever. Sooner or later you’re going to collapse.”
“And what do you suggest, huh?” Jiang Cheng presses out between clenched teeth. “That I simply entrust Jin Ling to anyone?”
“Of course not,” Lan Xichen gives back. “But accepting help doesn’t make you weak.”
“What would you know about that?” Jiang Cheng scoffs out and Lan Xichen levels him with a look.
“My brother adopted a son right before he was punished. He is currently unable to care for him, so the Sect stepped up. I am his primary care-taker, but I am comfortable with leaving him with other people from my Sect. I took in a war-orphan as well, and again, I feel comfortable with leaving him with my fellow disciples. Can you say the same?” Lan Xichen wants to know and Jiang Cheng lets out a bitter laugh.
“It’s different,” he tells Lan Xichen who raises an eyebrow in question at him.
“Tell me why. Make me understand why it is so necessary for you to kill yourself over taking care of your nephew.”
“I can’t trust anyone,” Jiang Cheng says. “He’s an heir; he’s going to lead the Jin Sect one day. There are going to be attempts on his life before he can even walk. I can’t hand him off and I can’t trust my Sect to keep him safe.”
“Then trust a few people. You trust me, right?” Lan Xichen dares to ask, because Jiang Cheng has left Jin Ling in his care before.
It must mean something.
“You’re not always available,” Jiang Cheng gives back and for all that he doesn’t say that he trusts Lan Xichen, it’s as good as an admission.
“I’m not,” Lan Xichen agrees. “So it’s important that you have one, two people here you trust. One to take care of Jin Ling when you eat and sleep, and one to help you with your Sect when you are busy with Jin Ling.”
“And I assume you want to suggest Jiang Mingli?” Jiang Cheng bites out.
“I don’t know him well enough to decide that,” Lan Xichen admits. “Maybe he’s horrible with paperwork or with kids,” Lan Xichen says, “but he is honestly worried about you. He cares about you and Jin Ling and I think he wouldn’t be a bad start. And I am sure there are more people like him, who only want to help you. You just have to let them.”
Jiang Cheng stares at him for long moments but in the end it’s him who lowers his gaze first.
“Two people,” he whispers and Lan Xichen smiles at him.
“Two people,” he agrees and Jiang Cheng nods.
“Fine, I will talk to Jiang Mingli later.”
“Thank you, Wanyin,” Lan Xichen breathes out and he expects it when Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at him.
“Whatever,” he grumbles and then blinks sluggishly at him. “If I can trust you so much, go get Jin Ling, so I can take a nap,” Jiang Cheng demands and Lan Xichen freezes for a second in surprise.
It’s only when Jiang Cheng raises an expectant eyebrow at him that Lan Xichen finally starts to move.
He gets up and quietly makes his way into Jiang Cheng’s private rooms, where he carefully picks up Jin Ling who doesn’t so much as stir in his arms.
When Lan Xichen comes back out, Jiang Cheng has moved the food to the side, just enough that Lan Xichen can sit down next to him and stretch his legs.
Lan Xichen doesn’t hesitate to take the place clearly intended for him and Jiang Cheng doesn’t look at him when he slides down, his head in the by now so familiar position on Lan Xichen’s thigh.
“You said you don’t mind,” Jiang Cheng mumbles as he settles down and Lan Xichen smiles down at him.
“And I truly don’t,” he reassures Jiang Cheng and adjusts Jin Ling in his arms slightly, so that he can spare one hand to put on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.
“Two people, Xichen, and not one more,” Jiang Cheng mutters, sleep clearly claiming him already and Lan Xichen nods.
“Two people,” he agrees yet again, because two is better than none.
“Can you—,” Jiang Cheng starts and then visibly cuts him off, so Lan Xichen nudges him.
“Can I what?” he gently prods and Jiang Cheng sighs.
“Can you sing something?” Jiang Cheng asks, voice barely audible and he’s clearly embarrassed by his request.
“Sure,” Lan Xichen says, completely taken by surprise at that, but he doesn’t let it show. “What would you like to hear?”
“That first lullaby you taught me,” Jiang Cheng gives back and Lan Xichen has to wreck his brain a bit before he remembers it.
He starts to hum the melody under his breath before he starts to sing and Jiang Cheng goes boneless against him.
Lan Xichen is sure Jiang Cheng is asleep before he’s even through the lullaby once, but he still keeps it up. Jin Ling doesn’t seem to mind either, because he curls towards Lan Xichen and Lan Xichen happily sings it again and again.
Lan Xichen refuses to name the warmth that spreads through him when he looks down at the sleeping toddler in his arms and the sleeping man on his thigh and instead focuses on the song.
Jiang Cheng trusts him with this and Lan Xichen is not going to prove him wrong.