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It’s been playing for three days straight. Three days of the same lyrics, the same chords, playing on repeat over and over and over again, the stereo on repeat, the player’s fingers sometimes stumbling over the chords and his voice growing ever hoarser from his tears.
Three days of the same kind of emo music that Alex had played over and over again in his youth, the songs of pain that let his soul bleed out, his emotions poured into music when he couldn’t let them out in any other way.
There’s a part of him that understands. Alex has been here. He played these kind of songs since the first time that Kyle had called him things he’d mostly heard from his dad at that point. That day they hadn’t come with a fist or a belt, but they had hurt just the same.
Maybe he should blame himself for introducing their second child to the music he had grown up on, the music that had gotten him through so much. Leo though had Alex’s soft soul, one that had never been battered and bruised by those that should love him most and so Alex knew he needed an outlet. He needed a way to express that pain, the hurts that left tiny cuts on the soul and that took forever to heal.
He hadn’t expected to listen to Remembering Sunday by All Time Low on repeat for three full days because the girl he had his latest crush on was dating a senior. And yet here they were, closing in on dinner time on day three and Alex is pretty sure he is going to start singing it in his sleep if this doesn’t stop.
It’s why he’d sent Michael in to talk to him, to see what he could do to help him through this. That had been two hours ago, and while the music keeps playing, the guitar playing and singing had stopped.
When Alex had heard fresh sobs from inside the room where he’d been standing in the hallway trying to listen, he’d gone through the fridge and freezer, finding all the things he needed for one of Leo’s favorite dinner.
One son ate anything. The other was picky as hell, even at fourteen. And Mara had at least gotten past eating only foods that could be related to space sometime around six, though she still insisted on only eating Pop Rocks and rock candy when it came to sugar.
So he sauteed onions and mixed in beef and if they ate tacos more often than just on Tuesday, well so be it. Especially on nights like tonight when even Alex’s emo heart can’t take anymore of it. Because if Leo hit a bad chord one more time, Alex was just about half tempted to cut the strings on his guitar.
The sound of a horn distracts catches his attention and Alex turns down the fire and goes to the living room of the cabin, that he still refers to as the cabin despite all they’ve added on to it numerous times, and pops open the door just as Manuel and his snowboard - a new one!? What even? - comes through the door.
“Hey Dad,” he says, bending to kiss Alex’s cheek.
“Hey yourself,” he says, waving to Kyle before he drives off. “What happened to your old board?”
“I graduated to something sleeker,” he says. “You would not believe the speed I got. I wasted Uncle Kyle. It was great. He says if I keep this up…” He stops, listening, and then groaning as he drops his gear by the door. “Oh God. Again?”
“Don’t start.”
“What? Come on! Can’t he pick a new song at least. I’m so over this.”
He starts singing along, in a high, nasally tone. Alex thwapped him on the hip and gave him a shove. “Go get changed and come help me with dinner,” he says, heading back to finish prepping. “And take your gear with you!”
Except he didn’t get his fear, heading down the hallway and pushing open Leo’s door.
“Dude! It’s been literally three days since you met her. Three. Days. Oh. My. God. Get over yourself. If she doesn’t want you, her loss but for God’s sake,” he bellows as Alex thunks his head against the cabinets, listening to their eldest son’s tirade. “But stop with the old dad music. I can’t handle it anymore.”
“Manuel Guerin!” Alex didn’t move from where he stood with his head against the cabinet. “If I get to that new board before you do, I’m going to let the dogs have it. One. Two…”
The music shut off even as he heard Manuel sprinting through the house. He felt a hand on his back, Michael tenderly kissing the back of his neck.
“Remind me why we had kids,” Alex mutters, shifting his weight to lean back into Michael.
“Because… we’re gluttons for punishment?”
From the back of the cabin he hears Manuel’s voice again, softer this time. Then Mara’s laughter. A moment later he hears Leo’s laughter as well. The tension drains from his body and Alex feels tears stinging his eyes. They’re tough sometimes and they’re often at odds but he wouldn’t trade them for anything.
“I love those kids,” Alex murmurs,
“Yeah, me too.”