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“Remus…what are you doing?”
Sirius had bounced into the dorm he shared with his three best friends only to find his lycanthropic roommate sitting cross-legged on his bed, eyes closed, hands on his knees.
Remus didn’t respond. He could have been asleep for how slow his breathing was and how little he moved.
Sirius crept closer, “Remus?” he whispered, “Remmy?”
Remus sighed and opened on eye, “What do you want?”
“What are you doing?”
Remus groaned and fell back on his bed, one arm covering his eyes, “I was trying to meditate.”
Sirius scrunched up his nose, “What is that? Is it just sleeping while sitting up because honestly Remus that’s just ridiculous.”
“It’s not sleeping while sitting up. It’s something I heard about from the Muggles in town this summer when I was home. It’s a way to clear the mind and slow the heart rate. I thought it would be helpful. You know, for my ‘furry little problem.’”
Sirius nodded, then climbed into Remus’ bed and the two of them wriggled into place. The two of them had fallen into a routine since their seventh year had started. James and Peter were both taking Muggle Studies as one of their NEWT classes, which left Sirius and Remus alone for a few hours a week. Remus’ growth spurts had been particularly bad that year and his monthly transformations had been more brutal than usual. Sirius, always eager to help a friend (especially Remus) had taken to crawling into Remus’ bed in the afternoons and rubbing his shoulders for a minute before they took a long, luxurious nap.
They had been friends and roommates for so long that all boundaries between them had slipped away years before. So when they crawled into bed and Sirius slipped his hand under Remus’s shirt to work the knots out of his shoulders it wasn’t weird, or strange.
It shouldn’t have been weird or strange at least.
But Sirius found he couldn’t get comfortable, even after he had rolled over and thrown an arm around Remus’ waist, feeling the other boy’s stomach rise and fall with each breath, which was usually a comforting place to be. He had a weird feeling low in his gut, a strange sensation tickling up his spine.
It felt like attraction. It felt like arousal.
Sirius rubbed his eyes and rolled over again. It couldn’t be arousal. What an absurd thought. He wasn’t into blokes, and he wasn’t into his best friend.
Except there was distinct evidence to the contrary right there.
Sirius wanted to roll over again but then the evidence would be right up against Remus and he couldn’t have that. He squeezed his eyes tight and begged for death.
“Sirius can you just relax for one minute, you’re ruining a perfectly good nap.” Remus’ voice was husky with sleep and felt like a lightning bolt into his chest and Sirius thought he would drop dead right there. Remus shifted over and threw his arm around Sirius’ waist and his hand was dangerously close to the…evidence.
Sirius sat up and pulled the blanket over his lap, knocking Remus’s hand away in the process.
“What is wrong with you?” Remus demanded, sitting up next to him, “Why are you being so weird today?”
“I’m sorry! I don’t know what’s come over me. Lay back down, I’ll be alright.”
Sirius knew he wasn’t a good liar, and he knew he hadn’t pulled off that lie when Remus’s face softened and his lips turned down into a frown, “Is it the cuddling? Is it too much? Are we too old for such things now?”
“No!” Sirius interrupted quickly in a panic, “It’s definitely not that.”
Remus rubbed a hand over his scarred face and gave Sirius a look that almost tore his heart in two, “Then what’s wrong, Sirius?”
He couldn’t take it anymore, there was too much emotion bottled inside him and he felt like he was about to explode. He forgot any protest he had built in his mind, any history that spoke to how out of character it was, and kissed Remus full on the mouth.
Remus responded immediately, gripping Sirius by the hair with one hand and by the shoulder with the other. After several long moments of frantic, desperate kissing, Remus drew back.
“Are you fucking with me?”
“No, absolutely not.” Sirius’ blood ran hot through his veins and arousal thrummed in his ears. But most of all, he was happy. Happy that his best friend was there beside him, had kissed him, that sweet beautiful Remus hadn’t pushed him away.
Remus smiled his rare smile that lit up his entire face, a smile that Sirius now knew he wanted to make sure appeared as often as possible, and he wanted to be the one to make him. He grinned back and kissed Remus again, slowly, deliberately.
“This is real.”