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Team Free Will has beaten Chuck and is finally free to reap their rewards of peace. This means that after all their years of fighting and sacrifice, they get to enjoy a more domestic life, doing normal things like seeing movies, going out for fun, and celebrating holidays. On this particular holiday, Valentine’s Day, Dean is sitting alone in the kitchen, drinking his morning coffee, when Cas comes in and sits down.
“Do you have any plans for tonight?” Cas asks.
“Yeah, I was thinking of heading out to a bar later.” Dean winks suggestively. “Wanna join me?”
“No, I do not want to watch you pick up women and have sex with them,” Cas grumbles moodily.
“Sorry, I just figured I would offer. Why, did you want to do something else?”
Cas hesitates. “Well… I was hoping that maybe we could get dinner and watch a movie together, but if you have other plans, it doesn’t matter.” He stands up to leave, looking a bit disappointed.
Dean notices his friend’s downcast expression. “Wait, I wasn’t sure I was feeling up to it this year anyway. What did you have in mind?”
Cas’s face perks up. “I wanted to try this new restaurant in town that I heard has good burgers. You should like that.”
“Okay, we’ll do that then. And the movie?”
Cas pulls a DVD out of a pocket in his trenchcoat, revealing Phantom of the Opera .
Dean raises his eyebrows. “Wait, isn’t that a musical?”
“Yes, is that a problem?”
“No, it’s-it’s fine,” Dean stutters, not wanting to upset him, but also not wanting to admit that the movie actually does sound interesting to him.
“Is 6 o’clock okay? I already made reservations.”
Surprised by his initiative, Dean answers, “Sure.”
Later, when they arrive at the restaurant, Dean is surprised by how nice, and dare he think it, romantic it is. Dean works hard to control his thoughts. This is just him and his best friend, two single men, hanging out, as they often do. Cas is probably just oblivious as to how this looks from the outside. They get seated, and of course, only Dean orders food. Cas politely informs the server that he does not eat. She gives him a weird look, but comments on what a cheap date he is. Cas does not correct her, but smiles at Dean. It is at this point that Dean starts wondering if this actually is a date. It can’t be, though. This is Cas . Angel of the Lord, his best friend, not the person he’s been secretly in love with for years, right? Who definitely doesn’t return his feelings?
As the dinner goes on, Dean thoroughly enjoys his burger, although he is keenly aware of Cas just sitting there, staring at him, smiling at him. Finally, he gives in and asks, “What?”
“Nothing. You just look like you’re enjoying yourself. Are you?”
“I am.” Dean gives him a slightly unsure smile and goes back to devouring his food. It’s normal for Cas to act weird. Dean decides to blame his behavior on how he still struggles with “people skills” and all that.
The server comes back to check on them. “Has your boyfriend decided he’s hungry yet?”
Dean stammers, “He’s… He’s actually…” Turning bright red, he notices that Cas is watching him, waiting for him to finish his sentence with an expectant expression. In this moment, he realizes that maybe Cas does, in fact, view him as more than a friend, as he hasn’t dared to let himself hope for yet. Maintaining eye contact with Cas, he ends the sentence with, “He ate a large lunch. He’s fine.”
The server shrugs and walks away, and Cas smiles. Dean doesn’t know what to say because of all these questions that are swirling around in his mind. Is Cas in love with me? There’s no way. I don’t deserve it. I know he cares about me, but he’s not in love with me, is he? Dean takes a couple deep breaths, attempting to calm himself down. This is all in my head. We’re just friends. Best friends. It hurts, but it hurts less than letting himself hope. He can’t risk getting his hopes up only to be disappointed. He’s not sure if he could recover from that.
After Dean finishes his meal, which Cas insists on paying for (further solidifying Dean’s theory that this is indeed a date), they get into Baby and head home. Cas pops in a mixtape that he had made himself, which includes songs like “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” “A Thousand Years,” and “Angel with a Shotgun.” He sits there quietly, mostly looking out the window, occasionally glancing at Dean as if to gauge his reactions. Dean is silently going crazy because every single one of these songs indicates that Cas really is in love with him! Seriously, “Angel with a Shotgun” couldn’t be more blatant. His heart is pounding so hard that he feels like it’s going to explode, but he does his best to keep his emotions hidden. He still doesn’t know for sure how Cas feels, and he can’t risk putting himself out there only to learn that he completely misread the situation. Maybe Cas just really likes these songs?
When they get home, they head down to Cas’s room to watch the movie. Silently, they sit on the bed next to each other, as they have so many times before. This time, however, feels entirely different. Dean can almost tangibly feel the tension in the room, the silent screaming and questioning in his head refusing to let up. Cas seems to remain cool and collected, at least from what Dean can see. He isn’t acting out of the norm at the moment, giving Dean no further readings on whatever the hell is going on. Dean is positive that Cas has to be able to sense his frenzied emotions, but if he does, he doesn’t comment.
They turn off the lights and start the movie, and they settle in, so close to each other, yet not touching. Despite all of his anxiety over the whole situation, Dean is quickly drawn into the movie. He finds that he understands the characters of both the Phantom and Christine surprisingly well, having been able to relate to both of them at different points in his life. During the seductive “Music of the Night,” he becomes increasingly aware of the angel he is currently sitting very close to, with maybe an inch between their shoulders. “Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation.” He longs to reach out to him, to snuggle closer. “Darkness stirs, and wakes imagination.” His heart races as he loses himself in the fantasy of simply being held by Cas. “Silently the senses abandon their defenses.” Dean’s breathing becomes shallow as he closes his eyes and continues to soak in the beautiful lyrics. “Slowly, deftly, music shall caress you. Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you. Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, in this darkness which you know you cannot fight, the darkness of the music of the night.”
As the movie progresses, so does Dean’s desire to close the short distance between them. By the time they reach “The Point of No Return,” Dean has reached his breaking point. “What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us…” He finally decides to give in to Cas’s magnetic pull and lays his head down tentatively on his shoulder. “Past the point of no return, the final threshold, what warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?” To his surprise, he feels a gentle kiss on his hair. Dean can’t help but relax and melt into Cas, who puts his arm around his shoulders. “Past the point of no return, no going back now. Our passion play has now at last begun.”
As Phantom of the Opera comes to its solemn and heartbreaking end, Dean and Cas sit there in silence, the tension building up again now that they don’t have a movie to focus on. Finally, the credits stop rolling, and Dean sits up and looks into Cas’s eyes, searching. Cas stares back softly, and Dean loses himself in the depths of blue. Time passes without him noticing, and he feels the last of his fears fade away. Slowly, they move toward each other, their lips meeting in a sweet, tender kiss. Dean melds into Cas’s mouth, in the most perfect kiss he’s ever had. It feels like home. After a few moments of pure joy, they pull away. Then out of nowhere, the gravity of what just happened falls on Dean, and he panics.
“Cas, I’m sorry, I don’t want to mess things up between us.” The words tumble out of Dean as he backs away, toward the edge of the bed. He hugs his knees, hanging his head down, terrified to look at Cas’s face.
“What do you mean? Do you not want this?” Cas sounds both worried and hurt.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I just… I don’t want to lose you,” he confesses in a broken voice. “You mean too much to me to risk what we have.”
“Dean,” Cas whispers softly, putting his hand comfortingly on his arm. “You will never lose me. There is absolutely nothing that would cause me to leave you. Nothing could ever change how I feel about you. I love you.”
Dean just sits there, soaking everything in, thinking about everything Cas has done for him through the years. He realizes that aside from Sam, no one else has ever shown him such intense devotion, support, and sacrifice, no matter what a dumbass he could be. He begins to let himself have faith in Cas’s words, to believe that maybe, just maybe, this is safe.
When he finally looks up and sees tears in Cas’s eyes, the last shred of doubt disappears. He truly does love him. Trembling with emotion, Dean moves closer to Cas, kneeling in front of him. He slowly reaches out and holds Cas’s face in his hand, taking a moment to observe Cas’s tender expression.
“I love you too.”
Without waiting for a response, Dean closes the distance and begins passionately kissing him, doing his best to lay bare the depths of his true feelings for him. Cas eagerly reciprocates, and the two of them enter a kind of bliss that can only come from two hearts finally coming together. After many years of unsatisfied longing, they are home.