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“Hold still, Jaehyun!”
Jaehyun squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the trembling and the jerks his sobs sent through his body.
“It’s just hair!”
Yes, it was just hair, Jaehyun had never been allowed to keep it.
But he still wished he was.
“Jaehyun, I told you to keep still, stop the wailing, you’re so annoying!”
“I’m sorry, Master,” Jaehyun’s voice sounded ugly, how his Master didn’t like it to sound. He shouldn’t cry anymore, he knew. He was already 15, he was an adult and adults didn’t cry, especially not over something that couldn’t be changed.
Still, he always had to when his Master sheared off the small regrowth of hair he had managed to cultivate. He just wished he was allowed to keep it, let grow out all fluffy and cute.
“Terrible, with you. If only someone would take you off my hands, what a waste of capital and potential. I said to hold still!”
Jaehyun jerked at the rough tone hurting his ears.
He didn’t have control over his tail, only partly. Why didn’t his Master understand?
Jaehyun didn’t dare say anything. He tried so hard to hold still as the awful feeling of the vibrating razor sent goosebumps over his skin. He hated how it felt when he clipped the fur on his tail. He knew his Master didn’t do it to spite him but it was still the worst feeling, not only because it vibrated and his tail was sensitive but also because he knew it was going to look thin and even uglier, not fluffy and cute how the others’ did.
“Why is this bleeding here, again? Wasn’t that healed?”
Jaehyun squeezed his eyes shut tighter. It hurt. The skin on his left lid had broken open last night because it was so dry and tender. But not as much as knowing his master had spotted yet another open wound, that he wasn’t supposed to have.
“Jaehyun! Answer me!”
Jaehyun whimpered.
“I’m sorry, Master, it was so itchy.”
Jaehyun hadn’t meant to, he knew he wasn’t supposed to scratch because it looked even more terrible when he was bleeding or had thick, dark crusts on his already blemished skin.
Just, when he tried to sleep at night and could hardly bear the feeling of his clothes on his skin, he couldn’t not. It was torturous, it hurt, it burnt, it itched.
Scratching elevated all the suffering for a few moments.
“Fucking hell. You look terrible! They’ll tell me they cannot sell you, again! I know they will! Use the treatment!”
Jaehyun nodded. He wanted to curl up, hide his ugly body, the open patches everywhere, the skin flaking off and discoloured where it broke open the most.
He couldn’t. His Master was still here and shearing his tail.
He really wished he didn’t have this. It was terrible. Ugly. Disgusting.
No one wanted to touch him. No one played or cuddled with him.
No one wanted to buy him.
He was already 15, way too old to still live with his breeder. At 14, Hybrids were officially adults and sold, that was normal. He wanted to be sold, really badly even.
He’d love to go to a family, one with kids, maybe two? Kids seemed so fun, everyone wanted to be in a family with kids, so, Jaehyun did, too. He didn’t really know what it would be like but he had spent many nights dreaming about it, using what he knew from his Master or his teachers, to imagine himself.
First of all, families were made up of humans, of course. A daddy, a mummy, and then, usually, kids. His breed was often sold to those types of families. He was relatively smart, so he could help a child with homework a bit, he could do the household, to support the parents, he had great endurance and strength, so he could play and not tire.
Nevermind Border Collies were cute.
His breed had colourful and fluffy fur, sometimes even blue eyes, and humans liked that.
Only, Jaehyun wasn’t cute. He was ugly and disgusting because he was ill with some skin-thing. No one knew what it was, not even the doctor he had been to when he had been little. He had said it was dryness and that Jaehyun would outgrow it.
He hadn’t.
If anything, it had gotten worse because the more times his skin had to heal, the more terrible it looked.
His Master had to shear his hair off because there were patches of the dryness on his scalp and tail. He’d scratch them open or they’d get wet on their own. He couldn’t have hair because it’d get dirty.
Still, he wished he could keep it, so he’d at least fit in a little better, look a little cuter.
But he couldn’t.
“All done. Now, put on that stuff and go to bed, I want you happy and upbeat tomorrow, okay? Be a good boy for the shop-owner.”
Jaehyun wiped his cheeks dry and nodded. The tears always burn on the skin, so he really shouldn’t cry, why was he so weak?
He wanted to be good for his Master and for the shop owner, so he’d take him and he’d go to a nice family. He knew what a good boy did and he knew how to do it well. It was fun! He liked being good! He was sure, he’d be super great for any family because he really wanted to be.
Only, they might not want someone as ugly as him.
His tears still tasted salty on his tongue as he carefully applied the lotion, that he was supposed to use.
It burnt where the skin was open.
It always did.
He had to put it on every other day.
Jaehyun hated it. It didn’t really make it better, it burnt and hurt, and where the skin wasn’t crusted, it looked even worse, even uglier, all discoloured and rough, when he used it.
All the others had pale and smooth skin. He was supposed to have pale and smooth skin.
But he didn’t.
So, he’d rather not use it at all. He often skipped it when his Master wouldn’t notice. He knew it was bad he did, but he liked it better when his skin broke open than when it healed uglily. It still itched and felt like it was a size too small for him, anyway. It wasn’t worth it.
He had to listen to his Master tonight because they’d go to a shop tomorrow. He’d know if he hadn't used it because it left a white residue on some parts of the scabs, so, he had to put it on before he pulled his pyjama on.
He also had to clean up the hair, that had landed on the floor from his Master’s work. Of course, Jaehyun would do that. His Master was already taking time out of his day to shear him, he couldn’t be burdened with more. This was low work, Hybrid work. He did it gladly.
His Master was very smart. Like all humans! He was also really kind and Jaehyun knew he was the best person in the world. He had raised him and taken care of him all his life.
Well, the others had usually gotten better clothes and pets and compliments, but that was only fair. After all, the others had sold and at high prices at that. Because they were well-mannered.
And cute.
They were worth more so they got more pets and compliments. Jaehyun was lucky his Master was so patient and kind with him, he wasn’t going to be ungrateful and wish for more attention when he didn’t deserve it.
Once upon a time, Jaehyun had lived in a room with three others, all his age. Now, they were no longer here, all having found families where they got to help the kids with homework, take care of the kitchen, and maybe even go to the park.
Jaehyun was envious of them.
He had been left behind, damaged and wrong. It was his fault, he had been born like this, broken. He knew his parents had been wonderful. He was the one to blame for being not what everyone had wanted and expected.
He should have been a great Hybrid, an expensive one, how his parents were.
He knew his pedigree and his parents’ certifications and prices. Especially his father’s. The male Hybrids who got to go into breeding had to be perfect and he was. There was a photo of him in Jaehyun’s nightstand, that his Master had gifted him so he knew what he had expected of Jaehyun.
His father had a perfectly centred, thick white stripe down his head. Jaehyun’s stripe went off to the left, which wasn’t so good. The Breeding Union’s officials had always told him whenever they had come for his yearly evaluation. He had a gentle and deep voice that would be pleasant to listen to. Jaehyun had it, too, but he tended to whine and cry too much, making it ugly.
Nevermind his skin. The officials had always scolded that a lot and marked him off terribly.
His face and exterior had 12 Fs each in his passport, where all his grades were noted down forever so someone buying him could see how he had developed. That was really important. Everyone wanted a good quality Hybrid, after all. One that had always been good and not one the breeder had just groomed to seem nice but was misbehaved and disobedient. When he had been very little, he hadn't had his skin-thing yet, so, he had gotten Bs at his first evaluation at 1-year-old. Still not that good. As would have been better.
Jaehyun was just such a big disappointment.
He slipped into the room he shared with three tiny puppies. They had been asleep for hours. In fact, everyone should already be asleep, sleeping time was at 8 pm. Now, it was 9:30 pm and Jaehyun was dead tired, but his Master didn’t have so much time for him anymore, he’d have to stay up late for these things, he was put last. He understood. There were so many younger, better Hybrids around, who had to be looked after.
Putting more energy into him would be a waste of time and money, Jaehyun understood that.
His blanket felt too heavy, pushing his clothes down onto his sore and aching skin uncomfortably. Jaehyun hated it but it was too cold in the room to sleep without on, the AC turned down to 22°C everywhere in the house.
It was itchy. Despite the cream. Jaehyun knew it didn’t help.
He knew he wasn’t supposed to scratch
He might finally get sold tomorrow.
He wanted to be, so badly.
But it was unbearable.
It itched, it was too tight!
Tears rose in his eyes as he tried to not do what he wasn’t supposed to. He rolled over, trying to get comfortable, but he couldn’t.
It hurt!
He dug his fingers into the patch on his chest and scratched.
Guilt was eating him up, the next day.
His Master had looked him over and not seen where he had scratched until it had bled. Jaehyun hadn’t been good and told him. He couldn’t. He didn’t want him to be angry because he had been bad.
Still, as he sat on the chair the shop-owner had gestured for him to take, it was gnawing on his conscience. He wanted to be good, so someone would want him.
“If you ignore the visual aspect, he’s a win in the lottery,” his Master chirped and Jaehyun wished he could feel happy but he couldn’t. He wanted to sit proudly because his Master’s compliments were so few. He understood. There was so little to praise.
“Yeah, well… A+ for behaviour, that’s quite the feat…” the shop-owner sounded like he was contemplating it.
Just.
He was going to say no.
Everyone had.
No one wanted him.
Yesterday, he had still been hopeful.
Today, he had seen the man’s disgusted expression and all that had gone out the window.
That’s why he couldn’t sit proudly.
It was useless.
It had happened so many times before. In so many cities.
Now, they were back in Seoul. In a good neighbourhood, Jaehyun was sure. He didn’t know much about this. It was too high for a Hybrid to grasp, anyway. The shop was new. It smelt of paint and the windows had only been sparsely filled with a few Hybrids. Probably all younger than him. Definitely all cuter than him.
“Absolutely, he’s such an obedient little thing, always happy to do anything you ask of him, extremely skilled in all chores, really a dream-come-true.”
The shop-owner nodded, but then, he looked up and focussed on Jaehyun. His smile melted into a frown.
“Still, no one wants a Hybrid that looks like that. It’s too messy. Nevermind… is he contagious?”
“Absolutely not, goodness, I would never have brought him. It’s harmless, just dry skin,” his Master smiled. Jaehyun’s fingers tingled. His body ached. He needed to scratch!
“Ah, okay? Looks quite severe. Still, people come expecting a standard. You must know more than anyone. Who would even want to pet a Hybrid looking like… that. I wish I could give you better news. I hope to make business with you in the future, but, this time, I’ll have to turn you down.”
Jaehyun sunk into himself.
Of course not.
He just wanted someone to say they’d take him. A place to go, a family to serve.
A home.
“Yes, I do understand. Thank you for taking the time, regardless. I hope I can offer you better ware next time,” his Master smiled, but it was strained.
The show-owner shook his Master’s hand before he got up to leave.
Jaehyun hurried to follow him out of the shop. His shoulders were tense. He must be angry. Jaehyun felt his tail stuck between his legs in fear. He was at fault for his Master’s bad mood. That was bad behaviour. It was all his fault!
“Jaehyun?”
“Y-yes, Master?”
“You know… since we’re here already, I’ll have a doctor look at you. Maybe there’s something that can be done,” his Master smiled but it wasn’t genuine. Something was off.
Jaehyun nodded, despite feeling fear in his tummy.
It was wrong to not trust his Master, he knew. His Master was a wonderful person. He was smart for deciding to go to another doctor. A good Hybrid would always trust their owner.
Jaehyun wanted to be good!
The man pulled his smartphone from his pocket and typed on it. His Master’s son always only used his thumb to navigate over the screen, and it looked a bit cooler, but his Master used his other hand’s index finger. It took a while until he had found what he had been looking for.
Jaehyun knew he’d never understand how it worked. It was just so fascinating. Humans were so smart!
“Right, there’s one close. We’ll just try there.”
Jaehyun tried to subtly scratch his knuckles. It immediately stung because the skin was so damaged, but he kept going. It was better than the itching!
“Jaehyun, fucking hell!” his Master glared at him and Jaehyun jerked away, stopping.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
The man sighed deeply. Something like regret played over his face, but just for a second. Then, he turned and marched down the street, Jaehyun hurrying after him.
It really wasn’t far. The house looked posh and expensive. Jaehyun wasn’t sure what houses costed, but he was sure it was more than a Hybrid. Only people living in big houses had enough money to buy Hybrids. He understood that. Hybrids were a luxury, only for good families.
It was irrelevant now, he wasn’t here to find a family. Unfortunately. Jaehyun wasn’t sure if he’d ever find it. His Master probably wasn’t either. He knew he couldn’t keep him, though. He was already wasting so much money on Jaehyun by feeding him for so long. It was very generous of him.
Where else should he go, though?
There was no other place. He had to stay with his Master, his Master had to care for him because Jaehyun was just a Hybrid and couldn’t do that for himself, right? Still, it was the right thing to be grateful he bothered.
Jaehyun tried to read the plate on the door, but it didn’t quite make sense to him. It was heaven? Why…? Wasn’t that up above? After death? Like paradise?
Odd.
They took the lift to the third floor. Jaehyun would have taken the stairs but his Master always said he wasn’t a young man anymore. It was okay, he could stand in the small metal cube and wait even though it was boring.
There was another plate that also said Heaven on the next door.
Still, odd.
The inside was clean and simple, just a big desk and a couple of huge closets behind it, a young woman looking up from her computer and smiling at them.
“Welcome to Heaven clinic, how may I help you?”
Jaehyun glanced around carefully. It looked similar to his usual doctor, the one he had to go to for vaccinations. He hated those. Definitely not a paradise. Was it a wrong promise? Or had he misunderstood? His Master often told him he was dumb, all of them were, so it must be that.
“Hello. My name is Kang Kihyun, do you take walk-ins?”
Jaehyun hurried to stand behind him properly, showing he was well-mannered. There wasn’t much to see, anyway.
The woman behind the desk gave him a short once over and Jaehyun shrunk as much as he could. Her smile didn’t fall, but she was probably disgusted inside. Everyone always was. At least she didn’t show it. That was nice. Jaehyun still preferred to hide behind his Master as much as possible.
“Yes, we do if you can handle a little waiting? It’s not going to be too bad, maybe 20 minutes,” she offered.
“Sure, that’s no problem.”
“May I see a passport, then? What matter did you come on?” Jaehyun was now effectively hidden and no longer saw her. She did look really nice, but he didn’t want to offend her with his face.
His Master pulled the red booklet from his bag and pushed it over the counter.
“As you can tell, he has this skin-thing. That’s why I came.”
Jaehyun heard nails on the keyboard of the computer.
“Alright, I’ll note it down. Do you have a prior diagnosis?”
“Dry skin.”
The woman hummed.
“I wrote it down. I’m sure Doctor Moon will look if there’s more to it and how to help. As I said, there’ll be a bit of waiting until someone will get you. The waiting room is through here, please.”
Jaehyun whined when his Master moved and suddenly left him vulnerable and open for the woman’s eyes.
He glanced at her in a panic, but she still smiled back at him. Jaehyun couldn’t hold her eyes for more than a second and rushed after his Master.
There were a few other people, also waiting, and Jaehyun hated the looks he got.
He wanted to hide, go home, disappear.
It was always like this when he left home.
He was ugly and everyone saw. He didn’t even have hair to hide behind.
All he could do, was hold his head as low as possible, hoping to not gather any attention at all, and hide his tail between his legs even though it was uncomfortable. At least he had clothes to hide the rest.
The clothes also tugged on scabs and dry patches, which hurt.
It all hurt.
He scratched on his elbow until his Master hissed for him to stop.
Jaehyun had to bite his tongue to keep himself from it.
He was a good boy! He couldn’t scratch!
It felt like it was more than 20 minutes. Or maybe not. Jaehyun didn’t look up to read the time. He didn’t move at all while his master read the newspaper.
Two other names were called before him, but then, finally, whoever was responsible, maybe a nurse, called “Jaehyun?”
He had a nice voice and he had mispronounced all names a little. It was cute. Jaehyun wished he was cute like that. He still didn’t look up but followed his Master blindly.
“Right down here, please. Doctor Moon said he’d need to do bloodwork, so I’ll be taking that first,” the guy explained. Oh, he had a Japanese accent, that was why he had been mispronouncing names. Still, cute.
They entered a room that smelt of all things nasty.
“Yes, sure, whatever he deems necessary,” his Master grumbled.
“Jaehyun? Did you understand that?”
Jaehyun jerked upright. Why was he being addressed? His Master had already agreed, hadn’t he?
However, the words flew right out of his head when he realised the guy looking at him had floppy, furry ears and patterned hair.
Another Hybrid? All dressed in white and looking really important?
How?
He looked to his Master, who looked annoyed. Oh no.
“I swear, I’m good at this, so you’ll hardly feel it!” the Hybrid promised. He was going to do this?
What?
“Wait, wait, wait, you? No.” his Master interrupted. Of course, that made sense. Jaehyun felt himself silently agreeing. That was way too big a task for a Hybrid, right?
“Right,” the Hybrid in white sighed deeply, “We’ll have to wait, then.”
Jaehyun just stood awkwardly in the middle of the room while his Master took the chair on the big desk. It was very different than in the office they usually went to because everyone sat on one side. What a crazy concept!
The Hybrid was on the computer now, typing something.
Jaehyun didn’t know how a computer worked. He had always thought that was too complicated. This guy, clearly, didn’t have any trouble at all.
Odd.
When he finished and turned, a little too quickly, over-spinning and having to go rotate himself back, he realised Jaehyun was standing around.
“You can sit down, choose wherever you feel comfy,” his smile was bright and genuine. Jaehyun wished he was like that. Or they could be friends. He probably didn’t want to be friends with someone like Jaehyun. No one ever wanted to be, unfortunately.
Jaehyun looked to his Master, so he could tell him where to sit, but the man was lost in his phone.
So, he stayed where he was. He wasn’t sure what would be better? He didn’t usually have to choose.
It seemed like that was wrong, though.
“Really, just take whatever, I feel bad you if you have to stand around,” the other Hybrid was digging through a drawer now, seemingly preparing. Wow. That looked really important… who would trust him with something like that?
Jaehyun didn’t want to annoy him. He also didn’t dare ask which would be better. He didn’t like talking to other people. It always ended badly. It was better to be told what to do.
“Jaehyun, here,” his Master ordered and Jaehyun scrambled to follow.
The chair was soft, but he couldn’t relax. It was stressful. He didn’t like being at the doctor's. It was always shots and those hurt. His skin hurt. He tried to ignore it and focus on other things, but it always got extra-bad when he was stressed, so, it was near-impossible to ignore now.
The door opened and a man stepped inside, followed by a woman. Wow, everyone here was really young, Jaehyun was surprised.
It actually was a lot different from his normal doctor, much more than he had first thought. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt, it probably wasn’t going to be another vaccination?
The Hybrid stepped next to the man and whispered something before he left through where the two had just entered. Jaehyun was a bit sad. He had been really excited to see another Hybrid doing such important things. It almost felt like he could do important things, too. He couldn’t really, of course. But in theory. Right?
The man came over now and his Master stood up, making Jaehyun, of course, follow immediately.
“Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Doctor Moon Taeil,” the man bowed and Jaehyun made sure to dip down low, how it’d be polite with a human.
He was a really young doctor, right? His hair was pitch black, no white anywhere yet, no wrinkles. He also didn’t have a coat, just a white shirt.
He seemed nice from how he smiled, but Jaehyun didn’t dare really look at him.
“Nice to meet you, Kang Kihyun.”
“Alright, what brings you? I read skin-condition?” Doctor Moon scooted a desk chair without a backrest over, sitting down on it.
“Yeah, as you can see, it’s quite bad.” Jaehyun stared at his hands. It was bad. It looked like a map of a country over his fingers and knuckles, only with red streams.
“Mm. Are you his owner? Do you know his medical history?”
“Breeder, yes.”
“Breeder? So, you’ve had him all his life?” Doctor Moon sounded surprised. Jaehyun glanced up. The doctor was looking at him – oh no.
“Yes. As you can tell, that’s an issue. He’s 15 already. I’ve kept him for well over a year, at this point, giving it every chance there was, but no one is going to buy him like this.”
Jaehyun couldn’t help sniffle as he felt tears rise. He was not worth being sold. He really wanted to, but… no one wanted to have him in their family.
“I’ll be fully honest, he looks like he was never properly treated when he could have. Was the only prior diagnosis dry skin? When was that?”
His Master shrugged, “He was treated, actually, ever since I had the diagnosis from, I don’t exactly remember, when he was five? My attending doctor said it’d go away with age but, obviously, it didn’t.”
“In case of childhood atopic dermatitis, maybe,” Doctor Moon muttered, “Clearly, this isn’t just dry skin. It needs a different treatment to get better, that should have been obvious to your attending doctor. Even then… Jaehyun would you give me your hand, please?”
Jaehyun glanced at his Master. This… was wrong. His doctor had to ask his Master and he’d tell him. Right?
“Do it,” his Master sounded grumpy and Jaehyun immediately thrust his hand the doctor’s direction. There was fresh blood on his knuckles and he felt embarrassed for being so uncontrolled.
Doctor Moon carefully pushed his sleeve up, clearly trying to not pull on any scabs. That was so nice! Still, Jaehyun was embarrassed there were so many instead of nice and smooth skin. It didn’t seem to bother the doctor, though. He inspected his arm from all sides and brushed a finger over the bloody patch.
“Mm, I’m not actually sure it’s atopic dermatitis and not something else. Psoriasis immediately comes to mind, but there’s plenty of skin conditions, as a reaction to allergies, for example. Luckily, it’s well researched in medicine, so we can do an anamnesis. It’ll also help us find a proper treatment to reduce your pain and itching to a minimum, Jaehyun. I’d recommend starting with looking into bloodwork since we can see if you have allergies based on that, as well as test fats, sugar, and just get a good overview to be our starting point.”
Jaehyun glanced at the doctor. Why was he talking to him? Not his Master?
“Well, it’s not going to go away, right?” His Master lowered his voice, looking uncomfortable. Doctor Moon was still stroking over Jaehyun’s hand, not where it hurt, but where the skin was thick and dry. It was… nice. It felt good. Jaehyun would really like to cuddle with people but no one ever wanted to. No one wanted to touch him. His doctor also always used gloves, but Doctor Moon didn’t. He was really nice, maybe nicer than all people Jaehyun knew.
Well… not as nice as his Master… of course… he had to like his Master the best…
“Unfortunately, no. It’s chronic, however, there’ll be vast improvements. How Jaehyun looks right now is the extreme his body was pushed to due to lack of appropriate treatment. We can hopefully reduce the outbreaks back to fewer parts of his body and lower their intensity. Especially in regards to his skin opening from too much stress and too little moisure. That’s an awful state that definitely can and should be helped.”
Jaehyun wanted to ask if it would stop hurting and itching? If the ugly dark patches would go away? If he could maybe keep his hair?
He couldn’t, though. He was obedient!
“Well, in that case, he’ll still be unsellable, right?” his Master pointed out.
Jaehyun felt more tears in his eyes.
He didn’t want to be unsellable!
Someone had to want him, right? If he could get better? He would try as much as he could! So someone would want him!
Doctor Moon took a deep breath and his open and friendly face became a little strained, but he kept gently rubbing his hand, so Jaehyun didn’t want to pull away.
“Is there something else you’d suggest doing?” he asked.
“You know what I mean,” his Master looked very annoyed now. Jaehyun tried to understand. If not treatment… what else was there?
“No, I’m afraid not. I’m a Hybrid doctor, it’s my job to heal Hybrids. I just suggested what to do and, according to my knowledge, that’s the only path of action right now.”
“Listen, that’s nice and all, but if I can’t sell him, how am I supposed to make the money for treatment back? Should I just pay forever? How should my business work if I did that?”
Right. Jaehyun was such a huge waste of capital already. He felt so bad for his Master. Was it going to be very expensive? Surely. His Master always told him he was making a loss. It’d be a worse loss, then. That’d be bad. Of course, he wouldn’t want that even though Doctor Moon said that was what to do.
Jaehyun couldn’t help the small tear that dropped from his eye. He was really sorry he was how he was.
“I… don’t really care? You decided to put him into this world, so, you’re responsible for him and for his wellbeing. He’s clearly in pain, this isn’t a tolerable state for any person to be in,” Doctor Moon said. Of course, his Master was, but… no, Jaehyun had to be grateful he kept him, offered him such a nice life. On the other hand… it also made sense to say it was his responsibility, right?
He was confused. No one had ever said it wasn’t his duty to be grateful but his Master’s responsibility to provide for him.
He didn’t want to ungrateful, though. He didn’t want to annoy him or anything.
He just… he just wanted this thing? This treatment?
So he could get better and then be sold, find a family that would want him…?
Jaehyun only wanted that.
He wanted to be sold! Not stay with his Master, that wasn’t what he wished for, that wasn’t how things were supposed to work, at all. It wasn’t a family, with his Master. It wasn’t what he dreamt of at night.
Jaehyun hoped to get him to see how this could be the solution to everything, but his Master kept staring at Doctor Moon.
“So, we should put an end to his suffering, shouldn’t we?”
Cold ran down Jaehyun’s spine, his chest was suddenly tight.
No.
Jaehyun knew what that meant. It had happened before. A few times. When there was a really, really bad illness. Something wrong with puppies that couldn’t be fixed.
They’d go see the doctor to be put out of their suffering because it was impossible to help them.
They never returned.
They were dead.
Jaehyun heard himself gasp for air, tears obscuring his vision.
How? Why? Doctor Moon had just said he could become better!
Please, no!
The doctor squeezed his hand and Jaehyun wanted to hold onto him but he was just a stranger and he didn’t dare to. The tears stung on his cheeks, especially where there was a scabbed scratch.
His heart hurt more.
“I’m sorry, Mr Kang, I don’t believe in killing people.”
Killing.
Jaehyun couldn’t even sit upright anymore, body shaking too badly from his sobs. He had always tried so hard. He was sorry for not being cute. He was sorry for being a waste of capital!
“Master, please,” he didn’t want to be killed, please. His voice came out ugly and when he reached out, his Master jerked his arm away. Jaehyun immediately retracted his hand.
How?
His Master had always been so kind to him! How could he just… no! He reached out again.
Once more, his Master rejected him, he even stood up now.
“Jaehyun, pull yourself together!”
Jaehyun tried, but he couldn’t.
“Please, Master, please!” He could do everything for him, everything! He didn’t care it wasn’t how he had imagined it, he wasn’t going to ever complain.
Anything!
Doctor Moon patted his hand and Jaehyun wished his Master was the one.
But he wasn’t. He never touched Jaehyun if he didn’t have to.
“If you’re not going to be reasonable and do what’s the right solution here, we’ll be going.”
Jaehyun didn’t want to go.
“Please, Master!” he didn’t get up when he knew he should.
He didn’t want to die!
Doctor Moon squeezed his hand a bit again as if to remind him he was still here. Why was he even? Jaehyun didn’t care, he forgot to be obedient and squeezed back, just held on, and didn’t get up even though he knew it was bad behaviour. He couldn’t follow this order, knowing what it’d result in.
He had no other place to go, nowhere, no one wanted him!
His Master had to have mercy with him!
“Euthanasia usually costs around 500,000 won, so, I’ll be assuming you’d be willing to give him up for free?” Doctor Moon suddenly asked.
Jaehyun sobbed again. He didn’t want to die, please!
But Doctor Moon had said he didn’t believe in doing that.
Maybe he wouldn’t kill Jaehyun?
But someone else would. He was just a Hybrid, after all. It was okay to do this with them even if they didn’t want to.
His Master…
His Master was…
His Master was being cruel!
Jaehyun wished he wasn’t thinking badly of him. He couldn’t stop, though. He just was. Cruel for not allowing him to get better.
Maybe it was his fault?
But killing him?
Was he really that worthless?
Maybe he was?
No one wanted him, after all.
Why would his Master?
“Do you want him?”
No, no one wanted Jaehyun. He tried to let go of Doctor Moon’s hand and come to terms with that. His Master really had tried everything for him.
No one wanted him.
“Yes, I want him.”
Jaehyun looked up but it was all blurry, too many tears in his eyes.
He couldn’t even breathe, too scared to have misunderstood.
Had he really just said that?
“I’ll give you 500,000 won if you take him. Do whatever you want with him. I’d be happy if… if he’d find a good place, after all.”
Would… would he?
Would he really?
“But you’re too selfish and profit-focused to give him one yourself, got it. I need a selling contract, then.”
Se…lling?
Jaehyun would be sold?
He tried to comprehend but it was all so much.
“Yes, that can be arranged. Do you need it right away?”
“Preferably. You can see Sooyoung-sshi in the front about it. Seulgi-sshi, would you accompany him, please?”
Jaehyun tried to get up and follow his Master, but he just… left.
The door fell shut and Jaehyun stared at it, feeling more tears burn on his skin.
“Jaehyun? Hey, I’m really sorry about this,” Doctor Moon softly started. He had a really kind voice. He was still holding his hand.
“Did… he just… go?” Jaehyun’s voice trembled.
Doctor Moon turned to the door, then back to him. His face was just blotches of colour through Jaehyun’s tears. He wanted to stop crying and be good for him, not be ugly. Uglier.
He couldn’t.
Even though he should be happy that Doctor Moon would… would buy him, no, he wanted him, he couldn’t help how it felt like his heart was breaking. His Master had been always there for him, all his childhood he had been his favourite.
Now, he had just… left him.
After suggesting he’d be killed.
It was not kind at all.
Jaehyun hickupped with more tears, more ugliness. More pain.
“Do you want to wait here for a moment, so you can calm down? I’ll need to examine you, but we can do that later. We have all the time in the world, you’ll be staying with me now, okay?”
“Y-yes, M-master,” Jaehyun didn’t like to say it. The name was still attached to someone else. The betrayal hurt. It hurt worse than his skin. His voice was ugly because he couldn’t stop crying, but he was just as much happy, too, and he wished he could show and feel only that.
Because Doctor Moon wanted him.
“Ah, no need for that. Just call me Taeil-Hyung, okay?”
He looked up and Doctor Moon smiled, still.
That was odd. Really odd.
Jaehyun kind of… liked it.
It was friendlier than ‘Master’.
“Taeil-Hyung?” he tried it. His voice still sounded ugly. He must look extra-ugly.
Taeil-Hyung nodded, “Exactly! Do you want me to pet your ears a little? Maybe a little hug? I promise, it makes you feel better right away!”
Jaehyun tried to answer, but his voice just broke, leaving him with his mouth open but no words coming out.
Hug?
Ear pets?
“If you don’t want it, that’s okay, too. You can freely decide, alright?”
“W-w-want,” Jaehyun managed to stutter, probably hardly recognisable in his sobs.
“Okay. Hey, shhh, it’s okay. It must be so awful for you. I’m sorry it is.”
Jaehyun tried to remember his manners and that this was a stranger, but he couldn’t, not when Taeil-Hyung hugged him carefully, stroking one hand over his head and over his ears. It didn’t hurt at all.
He just clung to him, holding the white shirt tightly. He couldn’t not.
Almost no one ever wanted to cuddle with him. There had been one guy, older than himself, with really pretty brown fur, who hadn’t cared.
It had been so long.
Taeil-Hyung’s arms were warm and tight and Jaehyun’s skin tingled in a good way, not the painful itchy way.
Taeil-Hyung wasn’t annoyed that he sobbed into his clothes but kept running his hand over his head.
Jaehyun just let himself melt against him.
Never would he have dared to still find someone like this, who wanted him and who was so kind and warm and welcoming!
“Well, I should introduce myself, right?” Taeil-Hyung softly said, never stopping to caress his head and ears. It was soothing and Jaehyun wanted to listen and learn, “I’m 23 years old and I graduated university in winter. I have three other Hybrids, who’re my family. The oldest is called Taeyong, then there’s Yuta, whom you already met, and Doyoung. Hm… I live over this office. I’m not sure where, but I’ll find a place for you, so you can feel right at home. Maybe my office. I don’t really need it that much, anyway. What else… I like taro bubble tea the best.”
Taeil-Hyung had been right! Jaehyun already felt so, so, so much better. He could return from gasping for air to normal breathing and he even managed to stop crying.
“Have you had bubble tea before?” Taeil-Hyung asked.
Jaehyun had. His… the man had bought them bubble tea for their birthdays, one year.
“Yes,” he wasn’t very scared to reply even though Taeil-Hyung was still unfamiliar. He wasn’t a perfect stranger anymore, right?
And he wanted him.
“Ah! Lovely! What’s your favourite?”
Favourite?
“I had chocolate,” Jaehyun let go of where he was holding onto Taeil-Hyung. He might not appreciate it.
“Oh, you’re right, you should try more before deciding. We’ll do that, soon, okay?”
Jaehyun pulled back and blinked at Taeil-Hyung in confusion. Why should he decide?
“A bit better?” Taeil-Hyung asked softly.
Jaehyun nodded and tried to dry his face, but Taeil-Hyung held him back.
“Be really careful with your skin, okay? I’m really sorry no one helped you treat it before, but now, we can do something so it will hurt less.”
Jaehyun nodded slowly. He wanted to ask all the things. But he didn’t dare to.
Taeil-Hyung checked his watch.
“Ah, it’s 11:45 already, meaning, there’ll be lunch-break soon. How about this: we’ll put on some salve on all the parts that hurt extra much… or rather on all of you, as well as a bandage, so it can sink into your skin in peace and it’s protected, and then you can go upstairs and meet the others, see your new home?”
His home…
Jaehyun swallowed down more tears.
He really wanted to.
Still…
“Why are you asking me?” he softly inquired. That didn’t make sense. Couldn’t he just decide for Jaehyun?
“Well, your opinion is very important to me. I don’t want to force you into anything. Since I can’t read your mind, I’ll have to ask you.”
Hm.
His opinion?
How odd.
“So, do you think we can do that?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah?”
“Ye-ah.” Jaehyun felt weird deciding. Was that really his place?
“Great, thank you. Now, I’ll have to ask you to please take off your shirt and trousers. I’m sure there are many places that hurt under there, right?”
Jaehyun curled up a bit. He had been bad and scratched.
“I promise I’ll not hurt you if I can help it. I only want you to become better. To do that, we’ll have to treat everywhere. There’s no reason to feel bad, it’s not your fault. I’ll never blame you for something out of your hands, okay?”
Jaehyun wanted to trust Taeil-Hyung. He seemed so, so kind.
What if he changed his mind, though?
But he had not killed him, just now. Jaehyun could give him a chance, right? He should!
“I scratched,” Jaehyun admitted softly, feeling shame burn on his face. It was all his fault. Taeil-Hyung should know, so he’d realise that Jaehyun had been bad and was to blame.
“Oh, I can believe that. I’m sure so would I. It must be really itchy. Of course, it’d be great if you could not scratch because that hurts your skin even more, but I know I’m asking the impossible of you. With the bandage on, we can already help your skin a lot. Just try your best to not scratch and if you still do, that’s totally okay. It’s only important you let me know if something hurt more than normal, so I can look. In case it’s something we need to fix for you to soon feel better.”
“R-really?” Jaehyun blinked up once, twice, but he couldn’t hold eye-contact for more than the fraction of a second each time.
“Yes, of course. On the contrary, maybe, you know something about this that I don’t. If you tell me, I can then learn from that,” Taeil-Hyung cheerfully explained.
He?
Learn from Jaehyun?
“Okay?”
He was kind of… odd. Really… fun odd. Jaehyun found it hard to not immediately like him really much.
He reminded himself of his… the man. Who had just gone after wanting him dead.
Taeil-Hyung wasn’t like that, though.
He wanted Jaeyhun. He had said it wasn’t his fault even when Jaehyun had pointed out it was.
He was…
Wonderful.
Seulgi-sshi was a nurse, so she explained. She had been working for Taeil-Hyung ever since he had graduated and had opened this office, so not that long, she had added. She was nice. Jaehyun had never gotten to know the name of the nurses at his other doctor’s place. Maybe they would have been nice, too?
Taeil-Hyung also explained the salve they both put all over Jaehyun. He explained it so well, Jaehyun understood everything! It was great! It had Hydrocortisone, which would help with healing. It also didn’t burn.
Then, Seulgi-sshi and Taeil-Hyung wrapped him in very soft white bandages. That was kind of cool.
Most importantly, for the first time in… forever, Jaehyun didn’t feel like his skin was too small for his body. His clothes didn’t hurt on it and didn’t tug on scabs and dry patches because the gauze kept him safe.
Jaehyun inspected the bandages around his hand, between his fingers. It felt a little funny. But he was going to not touch it! He could scratch over the top if he needed to, Taeil had said that was okay to do if he couldn’t help it. He was so kind! Right now, he felt like he might not need to. Maybe.
A knock on the door, just as Jaehyun was all wrapped up and re-dressed, made him suddenly think it was his… the man.
The door opened and the Hybrid from earlier poked his head inside.
“Hey!” he beamed, “Waiting room’s empty now, just one patient left, Hyung, hurry, hurry, or you’ll go hungry!”
Taeil-Hyung sighed, “Please leave me at least rice and Kimchi.”
“Is… Is he gone?” Jaehyun asked, glancing around in question.
Had he not said goodbye?
“Oh… I’m afraid so,” the Hybrid’s beam turned into a compassionate frown.
New tears rose to Jaehyun’s eyes. He didn’t want to cry and take off the salve. He blinked quickly.
“Sorry about that,” Jaehyun felt a hand on his arm and looked up to realise it was the other Hybrid, “But, the good thing is, that you’re here now. Here’s extremely-super-great, I swear! I’m Yuta, by the way, call me Hyung, alright?”
Jaehyun sniffed and nodded.
It seemed extremely-super-great. He’d just have to come to terms with his… the man leaving him how he had.
Taeil-Hyung suggested he’d sit down so he could calm down a little, but he made Jaehyun decide, which was… odd. But good odd.
Jaehyun wanted to calm down.
Taeil-Hyung had another patient to treat before lunch, so, he left him with Yuta.
It turned out, Yuta was also a nurse.
“Real nurse?” Jaehyun felt himself stare at the other in awe. He was cleaning everything up super quickly, now, that Taeil-Hyung was gone. So he could go have lunch. Lunch was important. Jaehyun understood that fully. He also found lunch important. Would he get any?
“Well, not real-real, but I did take parts of the exam and I learnt everything I need to know.”
“Wow. That’s so cool.” Jaehyun breathed. Could he do that, too? That seemed so important! And helpful!
“Right?” Yuta puffed his chest. “So, I’m from Japan, if that wasn’t obvious already. Where are you from?”
Jaehyun paused, “I think… here?”
“Well, that’s good. Can I cuddle you or does that hurt?” Yuta looked at him expectantly.
More hugs?
“Taeil-Hyung’s hug didn’t hurt,” Jaehyun carefully supplied. He felt his tail move in excitement. More hugs would be amazing!
“Great! So, can we? I really want to!” and to support his statement, Yuta’s tail was wagging behind himself, too, the beam even brighter now. He was very handsome, much more handsome than Jaehyun. And he seemed to not be appalled by him.
Maybe they could actually, really, truly become friends?
“Yeah?”
“Aw, you’re so cute! I always wanted a real puppy, you’re adorable!” Yuta squeaked and grabbed him, picking him off the ground. Jaehyun squeaked and clung to him.
He? Adorable?
That couldn’t be right!
Why would Yuta lie, though? It was hard to fake a tail-wag, Jaehyun knew.
“Okay, heavy, too. Anyway. Let’s go up and introduce you to the other two, alright? I know it’s all a mess, but that’s how we roll, here. Taeil-Hyung tries to deny it, but he’s the messiest of us all.”
Jaehyun didn’t care if there was a mess. It seemed all so wonderful.
Hopefully, the other two were nice, too.
“Are we allowed?” he carefully asked. Taeil-Hyung wasn’t back yet, after all.
“No one said we weren’t, soooo… yep!”
Wasn’t it the other way around? Everything not allowed was forbidden?
Apparently not… odd.
The flat was right up a flight of stairs in the back, just how Taeil-Hyung had said. Yuta typed in a combination and the lock opened with a beep, which Jaehyun watched in more awe. There were so many exciting things here, he could hardly calm down from one.
Immediately, he heard light steps, but he also had to look around and take in the entrance hall. It was very tidy, with closets on the side and a rack where collars were hung up. Taeil-Hyung still had his collar, after he had had to take it off for the treatment. He had said the collar wasn’t suited for Jaehyun, anyway, because the leather was too hard. Jaehyun thought he must be right. Of course, he would be, but he had also always thought it hurt more than his normal clothes. He had not known there were other types of collar, though.
“Hey, oh, eh?”
Jaehyun’s head snapped to the door, in which a cat Hybrid had appeared.
Oh?
Jaehyun had automatically expected more dogs. Those were all he knew.
Well, there were cats and bunnies, too, of course. He just had never met any.
Immediately, he dropped into a bow, hoping it was polite enough.
“This is Jaehyun, he’ll be with us now!” Yuta announced and pulled him back up and into a side hug. Jaehyun wasn’t sure what to do, where to focus.
The cat was…
So pretty.
Ethereal.
He had the most amazing green eyes, that Jaehyun had ever seen. They were like gems, bright and piercing.
“Oh! Alright! That’s great! Nice to meet you. I’m Taeyong!” the cat also bowed quickly.
Taeyong.
That was such a beautiful name, too.
“Can I hug you, too?” Taeyong’s eyes were wide now and his tail swished in a weird pattern. Jaehyun wasn’t sure what that meant. Hopefully, that was good? He didn’t know how to read cats. His face was hopeful, though, so it was probably good, right?
Nevermind, more-more hugs?
Jaehyun looked at Yuta. Could he?
“Well, your call,” Yuta smiled and let go of him, patting his back one last time.
What did that mean?
Jaehyun wanted hugs!
Could he?
Who’d tell him?
“What Yuta means is, that we’d only want to do what you’re comfortable with. So, if you want me to hug you, it’d be great, if you don’t, that’s okay. Taeil-Hyung always tells us only to do whatever we’re comfortable with, that’s really important!” Taeyong explained. He must have realised Jaehyun hadn’t had to do this before.
That was a new concept. Jaehyun remembered Taeil-Hyung asking him, too, earlier.
“Doesn’t he tell us?” he carefully asked, just to be extra sure.
“No, never! He’s amazing, the very, very best!” Taeyong chirped.
How odd. In a good way.
Jaehyun still would like to hug. It seemed easier to say yes when people offered. Would he be able to ask for hugs, too? He wasn’t sure.
“What’s this meeting here?” He was interrupted by another Hybrid appearing. Now, there were suddenly really many strangers and Jaehyun felt his pulse go quicker.
Yuta was the least unfamiliar and he was also still next to him, so, Jaehyun slowly crept behind him, observing the newest addition from there.
He was tall, taller than Taeyong, with black hair and floppy bunny ears. Jaehyun hadn’t known people could have those. They were so cute!
“We got a puppy!” Yuta excitedly announced. Jaehyun realised he wasn’t really a puppy anymore. He just liked to be called one… it sounded cuter.
The bunny raised his eyebrows, looking a bit judgemental. He surely didn’t like Jaehyun… he shrunk into himself.
“The puppy’s bigger than you, Yuta-Hyung, you did realise?”
“A puppy!”
“One day with normal people…” the bunny pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes and Jaehyun was now small enough to disappear behind Yuta completely, away from his eyes.
“Doie, don’t scare him with your bad mood,” Taeyong scolded and Jaehyun tried to look at him, but he had also disappeared behind Yuta’s shoulders blocking Jaehyun from view.
“I didn’t!”
“You did, look at him, god, you’re so annoying!”
“Me? Excuse me? Have you looked at yourself? If anyone, it was you who was annoying!”
Yuta turned around while Jaehyun felt like crying a bit but he couldn’t because of the salve.
“So, this is normal. Imagine how hard my life was before you! But there’s really no need to be scared of any of them. At best, they look a little intimidating, but Doyoung’s just a huge nerd underneath and Taeyong’s really caring.”
Jaehyun nodded. He had kind of not expected Taeyong to tell anyone they were annoying. Being annoying was really, really bad, wasn’t it?
“So, the bunny’s Doyoung. He’s… actually only a year older than you. He likes to pretend he’s super-mature, though. He isn’t. As you can see,” Yuta smiled and gestured at where Doyoung was glaring at Taeyong.
“I heard that,” Doyoung looked up to glare at Yuta now, but then, his gaze softened and Jaehyun didn’t get glared at. That was good. He didn’t like being glared at. It was for when he had messed up. Which was often, of course, even though he really tried to not be annoying or disobedient.
“Sorry. I guess. I’m Doyoung. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
Jaehyun had not been apologised to for being made uncomfortable before. Generally, he hadn’t been apologised to a lot. Or at all…
What did he do now?
He felt a little panicked and would love to hide behind Yuta forever.
Yuta dragged him along to the living room, though. Did that mean he didn’t have to do anything? It wasn’t taught how to react to apologies, only how to give them.
Wait, what did he expect when giving one…?
People to not be mad with him anymore!
Well, he wasn’t mad with Doyoung, if anything, he was probably mad with Jaehyun.
This was too confusing.
It smelt of food here and Jaehyun was immediately distracted and couldn’t help growing excited. He was hungry. He always was. He was still growing, after all.
“So, can I hug you, too?” Taeyong was hopping behind where Yuta had him in his grasp, tail swishing again. Jaehyun might ask him what that meant. Later. When he wasn’t so unfamiliar anymore. In a few months, maybe.
“I…” Jaehyun would really like that. He was supposed to decide, right? So, he could say he wanted to, right?
Right!
“Yes!”
Taeyong seemed very happy over that and took his free side.
“So, I’ll have to set the table for you. We’ll have chicken today. Do you like chicken?”
Jaehyun nodded. He liked chicken a lot.
“Is there anything you don’t like?”
Jaehyun wasn’t supposed to not like something. But he really hated fish. It was just nasty.
Could he say that? He’d rather not. He was so happy right now, he’d rather be good and stay happy. He could eat a bit of fish.
“Okay, you can tell me another time. Since you’ll live here, now. We have rotating chores, so, laundry, cleaning, kitchen, all things that need to get done. Yuta has a bit less because he works, so, he needs time for that,” Taeyong went on. Jaehyun tried to immediately store away all the information he was given. It was all important!
He wondered if he could put an arm around Taeyong, too? He looked kind of small and skinny, what if he broke? He might… he was so pretty and angelic… who knew? Jaehyun had spotted the gash in his ear. Surely, someone had already not been careful with him before. He’d rather not hurt him again, that’d be terrible!
So, he let Taeyong push him through the kitchen with an arm around his waist but not touching him in return.
He explained where things were stored while getting cuttlery for Jaehyun. Nothing was labelled, but he stared at the spoon and chopsticks until he had them committed to memory. Those were his now, after all. He’d want to protect them. That was important.
Taeyong also showed him the schedule for chores. It was huge and complicated! Hopefully, someone would explain that… actually, Jaehyun wondered why everyone here so was so smart? Wasn’t that only for humans?
Well, maybe not? Very odd. In a good way.
When they were back in the living room, Taeil-Hyung just came through the door. He was still in his white clothes and looked very important even though he was kind of small, in comparison. His aura made him seem bigger than them. Jaehyun was deeply fascinated.
“Ah, there you are! I swear, leave Yuta for one second… Did everything go well?” Taeil smiled but he seemed a bit worried. Maybe they had actually not been allowed? It seemed to have stressed him. Then again, he hadn’t said so, so maybe Jaehyun was wrong.
“Yes, yes, of course, Hyung!” Taeyong chirped and put Jaehyun’s bowl and cutlery down. So, this was his seat now? He’d remember it. To protect it. Just in case.
“How about you, Jaehyun? Is everything okay? Not too overwhelming?” Taeil carefully inquired.
Overwhelming?
Overall, it was confusing, to be asked about his feeling so much, to suddenly be here. But it felt kind of… good? He had hoped for a home so much, so it was a dream coming true. And the other things - they weren’t bad. To think about feeling and for others to think about him? It was really kind. He wanted to do the same but it was a bit complicated…
It had been a little bit scary, too, but Jaehyun always found new situation scary.
He also wasn’t sure how to act here. It wasn’t what he had been prepared for. Normally, he’d be asked to do things and then he could follow commands, but if he was to decide for himself, he was suddenly really shy.
“I… don’t think so?” Jaehyun carefully answered.
“Okay. Well, if anything is, you can absolutely tell us. That’s really important like I said, to talk,” Taeil smiled and Jaehyun felt himself nod. Even though he wasn’t sure how to do that.
Jaehyun seat turned out to be next to Taeyong. That was exciting! Taeyong was like a fairy from a fairy tale. Jaehyun hoped to get to know him. Maybe be friends? Taeyong had continuously clung to him and while Jaehyun hadn’t dared to touch him in return, it seemed like Taeyong wouldn’t mind if he did? They might be able to become friends.
How exciting!
Doyoung also asked if he could hug him. After lunch when Yuta and Taeil had to leave to do important work.
Jaehyun definitely wanted to hug if Doyoung wanted? Wasn’t he annoyed with him? Jaehyun didn’t quite dare to ask. Since he immediately wrapped his arms around him and pressed Jaehyun into the sofa a bit tighter with his body-weight, he might have misunderstood and it was all good? Hopefully. That’d be great.
Doyoung was a bit bigger than Jaehyun and his hug really warm even though Jaehyud hadn’t expected it to be.
“Sorry if you were scared, really. I didn’t mean to. I was just judging Yuta. Not you,” Doyoung muttered. He sounded regretful, not at all mean.
Jaehyun wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t feel badly over it. On the contrary. Did he get to say that? Doyoung looked at him expectantly.
“What do I do?” Jaehyun whispered because he should talk, right?
“Um…” Doyoung’s eyes were wide. They were dark brown and not as fascinating as Taeyong’s but still really kind like Taeil-Hyung’s, “you can accept it if you forgive me for scaring you. Or not if it made you feel really bad and you don’t feel like I did enough to be forgiven yet.”
“No! No, uhm, the forgive-option?” Jaehyun hurried to reassure.
“Forgive-option?” Doyoung repeated softly. Had that been wrong? “That’s… cute.”
Cute?
Jaehyun felt tears in his eyes. Yuta had also called him cute.
“Oh no! No, don’t cry, I’m sorry again! Why are you crying?”
Jaehyun sniffled.
“I… you… because… of the cute? And… sorry.” Jaehyun didn’t want to cry. He quickly waddled his hands to dry any additional wetness.
“So, it was good? Do you like to be cute? Or not?”
“I… would like to be?” Jaehyun tried carefully. He probably really wasn’t. Yet, people told him, here?
It was just… so odd and wonderful and different.
He had never known there were people like this.
Places like this.
It was all so odd, but in the best way, and Jaehyun really hoped he’d not wake up and find out it had just been a dream.
“Okay. Good! Yeah. So, I thought since you don’t have any clothes, you can borrow some of mine until we figured it all out.”
Right. Jaehyun hadn’t had anything on himself. Still, how would Doyoung just give his things away?
“Aren’t those yours, though?” Jaehyun whispered. It seemed like a bad deal, to just give them to him.
Doyoung chuckled.
“I’m just lending them to you. You have really such odd territorial instincts, Yuta-Hyungs’s the same.”
Jaehyun wrinkled his nose. Doyoung didn’t have them?
Hm. Okay.
So, Jaehyun got clothes from Doyoung. All with skin-friendly fibres. He hadn't known those were a thing, but Doyoung explained wool or polyester might agitate it further and how cotton was best for any skin that was sensitive.
Doyoung explained everything he did, how Taeil-Hyung had.
Doyoung also was actually super smart.
As in…
Crazy smart.
And he offered to teach Jaehyun. If he wanted to learn.
Of course, he wanted!
He was excited!
Super excited!
He wasn’t very excited over Taeil-Hyung bringing him down to take blood, so he could do his diagnosis.
Jaehyun wanted to get better, though. Much better.
So, he squeezed his eyes shut and held perfectly still and…
Wow, he actually hardly felt it when Yuta did this. He dared to look down. Yuta’s tongue was between his lips as he watched blood slowly fill a small tube.
He really was so important!
Jaehyun wanted to do this, too! Nevermind Yuta was helping Taeil-Hyung. What better could there be?
He might ask.
In the future.
For now, he let Taeil-Hyung inspect his scalp and map out where his skin was especially bad. He still felt embarrassed, but not as much as he first had.
Taeil-Hyung had said it was okay, he wanted him.
So, Jaehyun could hold still and let him look.
Taeil also said thank you after he was finished.
That was weird.
Jaehyun didn’t dare ask why.
He was just glad to be here. Really.
He agreed to everything Taeyong put him into the schedule for. He was fine with all the chores.
“You have to use gloves for dishes!” Taeyong’s voice left no room for arguing and his green eyes seemed to sparkle.
Jaehyun nodded.
“Good. We can’t have you hurt more!”
Jehyun sniffled.
Everyone was so nice here, so kind.
He couldn’t believe his luck!
When Taeyong hugged him, Jaehyun very carefully hugged back. He didn’t feel like he might break…?
Just in case, he still was extra careful.
They even watched TV together, after dinner. Jaehyun’s TV time had been 15 minutes each day and with the little puppies, always the same programmes on how to be a good person. He liked them, sure, but they got boring.
This was kind of… way too much for him to comprehend, but he just appreciated the pretty people on the screen doing things.
The only problem was, that it was so late. He fell asleep because his bedtime was 8 pm and now it was much later already.
When he woke up the next day, someone had tucked him in and he felt his skin itch.
He tried to ignore it.
Really hard.
He stared at the houses outside the window.
They weren’t that exciting.
He rolled over. Urgh, it hurt.
Okay. It’d get better but it’d need time, Taeil-Hyung had said.
If only it didn’t itch…
He could do it.
He could not-scratch.
Be good.
No, he couldn’t.
“Good morning, Jaehyun,” Taeil-Hyung was in a pyjama, shuffling through the livingroom without properly raising his feet how you weren’t supposed to do, his slippers loud. Jaehyun froze where he had been scratching his knee, “Do you prefer soup or cereal for breakfast?”
Jaehyun expected scolding.
None came.
Right. Taeil-Hyung was kind.
Taeil-Hyung wanted him!
Suddenly, there were tears in his eyes and a second later, Taeil-Hyung was on the sofa with him, gently petting over his head.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Do you hurt? Is it very bad? We’ll change your bandages but we can do it earlier if we need to.”
“N-no. I was just…” Jaehyun didn’t dare say it. His voice was ugly again. Why couldn’t he not do this? He didn’t want to annoy him!
“A little emotional?” Taeil-Hyung softly suggested.
Yeah.
Jaehyun nodded.
“Okay. Good. That’s perfectly normal and very okay. Let’s cuddle a little bit? Just two minutes, I can spare.”
Jaehyun curled up against him and Taeil-Hyung very carefully scratched behind his ears, where no scabs were trying to heal.
“Taeil-Hyung?” Jaehyun softly asked. He had thought he’d need a few months to dare. He didn’t. Taeil-Hyung was so kind, he was already not scared anymore.
“Hm, yes?”
“I…” why did he want him? Why was he so kind? Why weren’t others like him? “Do you still want me?”
Taeil-Hyung paused and then pulled him a little tighter.
“Yes, of course. I very much do.”
“Yeah? Do you… not regret buying me?”
Taeil-Hyung gently ran a hand down his back.
“No, of course not, Jaehyun. I’m very happy I got the chance to take you and give you a home. You’re really cute and sweet, I think everyone already likes you. I already like you.”
Jaehyun sniffled and pressed his face into Taeil-Hyung’s silky shirt. It was soft and smelt good.
He thought he was cute and sweet.
And he liked him.
He didn’t only want him, he liked him.
Taeil-Hyung had said the other three were his family.
It wasn’t what Jaehyun had thought a family was. There was no mummy and Taeil-Hyung was too young and the others too old.
It didn’t really matter, though.
It felt like Jaehyun had imagined it would… no… better even. Everyone cuddled him and everyone touched him and was so nice.
He’d want to become part of that. Maybe. If he could.
Could he ask?
He wanted to.
“Taeil-Hyung?”
“Yes?”
“So, I was wondering, um, if it would maybe be possible, could I become part of your family? Please?”
Taeil-Hyung chuckled and squeezed him very tightly. Jaehyun felt that his heart was beating quickly. What would Taeil-Hyung be scared of? Or was it a good heart-racing? Like his own?
“Of course! I’d love it if you became my family!”
His family.
Yes!
Jaehyun’s own family, the most wonderful family!
His home!
“Oh, you have dimples when you smile!”
