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He wasn’t familiar with the sensation that stayed after that hug, even less after the nervous reaction Hunk had when he left him on the floor and smiled at him at such short distance, his face suddenly darkening in a blush and pulling away with a push that looked harsher than he wanted. He wasn’t familiar with the emotion that fluttered in his stomach, neither with the quick pace of his heart at the brown eyes.
It wasn’t the same feeling of comfort that filled him every time he hugged Shiro, or the sense of belonging when everyone on the team got together to wrap him in their arms. Although it seemed to share the same warmth in different ways, the hug from Hunk was much more significative. He didn’t know in what way, but it was; deeply inside he had filled up the emptiness he had felt for years.
And, because he didn’t find an answer, now he finds himself staring quietly at the ceiling of his room, unable to fall asleep or find the energy to get up and get shit done.
It was strange —he hadn’t thought much deeply the relationship he had with Hunk, considering that he had never been that close to anyone that wasn’t Shiro. But after saying all that about him, everything he really thinks about and feels about him, he noted that there was something more crossing his heart. It wasn’t painful, nor annoying, but it was constant, that seemed to move and be present every time he watched him, every time they exchanged a few words, every time he saw him smile.
It was strange.
And he couldn’t help thinking that realizing what was that was going to change completely his perspective of life.
But it didn’t really matter, he could always carry on, couldn’t he?
And now there he was, standing before Hunk’s closed door, in the middle of the night with all the intention to speak to him about it and expecting for him to understand.
Not to reciprocate. That was too much to ask. He just wished that he didn’t close the door right in his face and try to avoid him from there on. But he knew he was too sweet and generous to do that, so thinking about his smile encouraged him to knock the door.
What would he say? He didn’t know. But he needed to say it. He needed help to recognize those feelings that tackled him abruptly in the middle of the night. He needed to explain it, or try to explain it, and to Hunk to help him decode it. Because, after all, he was the one causing them.