Work Text:
-:•:-
"I want a pet." Peter says while he's lying on Tony's bed, scrolling on his phone.
"And why do you mention this now?" Tony asks as Pepper tucks a pocket square into his chest pocket.
"Look at him!" Peter says, showing Tony a picture of a guinea pig he found on Instagram.
"Aww." Pepper says as she looks at Peter's phone. "His hands are so small!"
"I know!" Peter says as he flops down onto the bed. "I need that cuteness in my life!"
"You better fix my bed." Tony says as he looks at Peter through the mirror.
"I will." Peter drones. "But look at him! It's the perfect pet!"
"Give me three reasons why you should get a guinea pig." Tony says.
"Well, for one, you don't have to walk it. Two, you could get it one of those cute balls for it to run around in. And three, it's not as scary as, like, a snake." Peter says.
"Not convinced." Tony deadpans.
"Oh, come on, Tony." Pepper says as she stands next to Peter. "It's a cute pet."
"Nope, I'm not giving in. They can hide in small places, making them easy to lose, and their cages get dirty a lot." Tony says. "The answer is no."
"No fair." Peter pouts. "I bet you had pets when you were a kid."
"I did." Tony says. "They're called DUM-E."
Peter lets out an exaggerated sigh. "I want one pet, and I get the 'robots are a man's best friend' lecture."
"Do I say that lecture a lot?" Tony asks and Pepper and Peter nod in unison.
"It's only one pet." Pepper says as she grabs her clutch off the nightstand.
"One too many with this one." Tony says as he walks over to Peter.
"I would be a good pet owner!" Peter whines. "I took care of baby Steve for three days!"
"What are the rules?" Tony asks, ignoring Peter's comment.
"Don't do dumb things with Steve, do my homework, eat dinner, and try to go to bed before midnight." Peter sighs.
Tony kisses the top of Peter's head. "Be good, Itsy Bitsy."
Pepper kisses him on the cheek. "We should be back by one, okay?"
"Don't worry, I'll be fine." Peter says.
"The question is, will my house be fine?" Tony says as he walks out. "Love you!"
"Love you too!" Peter calls out after him before turning on his phone.
He sends a quick text to Steve.
man-spider: they just left
steeb: ok hurry up it's about to start
steeb: AND BRING THE GOOD POPCORN
Peter runs to the pantry to grab the popcorn kernels before running to the elevator.
Once the doors open on Steve's floor, Peter hurries to the kitchen and starts making the popcorn.
"You're gonna miss the opening credits!" Steve says from the couch.
"That's the worst part!" Peter says as he puts a brown paper bag into the microwave.
"Worst part?" Steve asks, turning his head. "It gives a setup for the whole movie, it's critical to the plot!"
"You're only saying that because you used to scrape together two weeks' allowance to see one movie." Peter says as the microwave beeps.
"You're damn right!" Steve says. "And don't forget butter."
"Do you think I'm a heathen?" Peter asks as he opens the fridge door.
"You do eat ranch on pizza." Steve points out.
"It's good, and you know it!" Peter says as he places the small bowl of butter into the microwave.
"It's awful." Steve says as the microwave beeps again. "The two should never be together."
"You are such a hater." Peter says as he pours the butter over the popcorn.
"Now, hurry up, the credits are almost over!" Steve says as Peter walks over to the couch.
"I can't believe you're making me watch a movie in black-and-white." Peter says. "This thing must be older than the dinosaurs."
"Trust me, it's good." Steve says as he takes some popcorn out of the bowl.
-:•:-
Peter wakes up the next morning in his bed, with a Post-It note stuck to his forehead.
He peels it off as he wipes the crust from his eye.
It reads:
"you're welcome.
-Tony
P.S. from Pepper: it took him no convincing :)"
Peter furrows his brows at the note, looking around the room for any sign of what they meant.
His eyes land on a large brown box with holes on the top of the lid. Peter pulls the covers off of him and walks over to the box on his desk.
He pulls off the lid and lets out a shriek.
"What? Where's the attack?" Steve asks as he runs into Peter's room, holding his shield.
Peter turns around. "It's a guinea pig! He got me a guinea pig!"
"A what?" Steve asks as Peter runs past him, holding the small animal.
Peter runs to the elevator and asks FRIDAY to take him to Tony's floor. When the doors open, Peter rushes into the kitchen.
"Thank you!" Peter screams as he runs into Tony, still holding the confused guinea pig.
Tony laughs. "I thought I heard you screaming."
"Oh, this is the best gift EVER!" Peter says.
Pepper smiles. "So, what are you gonna name him?"
Peter looks at the ceiling as he thinks.
"I mean, he doesn't need a name right n-" Tony says before Peter interrupts him.
"T-BO!" Peter gasps.
"What?" Tony asks.
"Y'know, the character in I-Carly with the dreads and the tacos on a stick?" Peter says as he looks down at the pet in his hands.
Tony sighs. "Whatever you want, Pete."
-:•:-
"Okay, T-Bo, go get the treat!" Peter says, slapping his hands against his thighs as the guinea pig runs to the piece of lettuce.
"Good boy!" Peter says as he picks T-Bo up, placing a kiss on his head.
"Peter, I wanna see him!" MJ says from Peter's phone.
"Hold on." Peter says as he stands up, walking over to his phone, which is leaning up against his textbooks.
"Say hi, T-Bo!" Peter says to the guinea pig.
T-Bo purrs before sneezing.
"Awww!" MJ says. "Ned, he sneezed!"
"I don't care, MJ, we have a project due tomorrow!" Ned says in the background. "We can visit T-Bo later!"
"I wanna hold him now!" MJ says before turning towards Peter.
"Tell Tony we're coming over." MJ says.
"We are not-" Ned says before the FaceTime ends.
Peter chuckles before looking down at T-Bo.
"You're gonna have a late bedtime today." Peter says.
T-Bo blinks at him before twitching his nose.
-:•:-
Tony walks into the lounge room to see Peter asleep on the couch with T-Bo sleeping on his shoulder.
He smiles at the two before pulling out his phone to take a picture. He sends the picture to May and Pepper before turning off his phone.
Tony plucks the guinea pig off of his shoulder and throws a blanket over the teen.
"FRIDAY?" Tony whispers.
"Yes, boss?" The automated voice replies in a hushed tone.
"Make sure to tell spiderling that T-Bo's with his grandpa when he wakes up." Tony whispers.
"Got it, boss." Friday replies.
Tony looks at the guinea pig in his hands. T-Bo looks at Tony before wheeking.
"Alright, you're cute. You got me." Tony says as he cradles the guinea pig to his chest.
Tony starts to walk down to the lab whilst rocking the guinea pig.
"If you poop on me, you're going in timeout."
-:•:-
"Hey, Steve?" Peter asks as he pokes his head into Steve's room.
"Yeah, what's up?" Steve asks as he looks up from his laptop.
"I have decathlon practice in like, twenty minutes, and I wanted to know if you could watch T-Bo for me?" Peter asks.
"Oh, yeah, that's no problem." Steve says.
"Great." Peter says as he enters Steve's room, holding the guinea pig.
"Wait, starting now?" Steve asks as Peter plops T-Bo onto his lap.
"Uh huh." Peter says. "Uh, you can go into my room to get his water feeder and food, I have to leave now so I can't do it. If he poops on your stuff, wipe it off as soon as possible. If it doesn't come off, I'll pay for it. And make sure he doesn't go in the ball today, he's very hyper today."
"Geez, Peter," Steve says as he lifts the guinea pig up, "that's a lot of rules."
"That's only the basics. Oh, if his teeth start chattering, back away from him for a minute, he's probably stressed. If he stats purring or wheeking, he wants cuddles." Peter says as he walks out of Steve's room. "Thanks a lot, Steve!"
"I- you're welcome!" Steve says before looking at T-Bo. "Wait, what's a wheek?"
T-Bo blinks at him before pooping onto his lap.
"Yeah, I should've expected that." Steve says to nobody in particular.
-:•:-
"Steve, we have to race him!" Clint says.
"Against what?" Steve asks. "We don't have any other pets here."
"I'm sure Tony has some mechanical gerbil in his lab." Clint says.
"First of, gerbils and guinea pigs are not the same thing." Steve says as he cradles T-Bo in his hands.
"Same difference." Clint scoffs. "Anyways, it's not like he'll get hurt. come on, we could make a cute little obstacle course and everything."
Steve sighs. "Fine, we'll do it. But I'm not doing any work."
"Do what work?" Natasha asks as she shows up behind Steve.
"Jesus!" Steve says as he holds T-Bo tighter, the guinea pig letting out a squeak.
"You're getting dull, Steve." Tony says as he claps him on the shoulder.
"You two are like those creepy twin sisters in The Shining." Steve sighs.
"Oh, you finally watched it!" Tony gasps. "Wait, why's T-Bo here?"
"Peter went to decathlon practice." Steve says.
"And he didn't ask me to drop him off?" Tony pouts.
"It's okay." Natasha says as she rubs Tony's back. "So what's this about an obstacle course?"
"Oh," Clint says, "we're gonna make a guinea pig obstacle course for T-Bo."
"And you didn't ask me to help?" Tony gawks. "Do you people not care about me anymore?"
"No, we do, but you'd take over the whole thing and make us feel stupid. Again." Steve says.
"Hey, don't say that! You're smart." Tony huffs. "But asking would've been nice."
"We'll ask next time." Clint says. "Now, let's do this!"
-:•:-
"Go, T-Bo, go!" Clint chants as the guinea pig runs around the makeshift barriers on the floor.
"Why do I have a feeling this is gonna end badly?" Natasha asks.
"Because it's Clint." Tony says as he looks down at his phone.
"I can hear you guys." Clint says as he looks at Tony, taking his attention off of T-Bo.
"That was the point, bird-brain." Tony says as he looks up at Clint.
"Are we starting this again?" Steve asks as he turns his attention to the group.
"Yes, because he always has something to say!" Clint says. "Like what does a guy have to do to get some respect here!"
"For starters, we can fix that haircut." Tony says.
"You know what-" Clint starts.
"Guys-" Natasha interrupts, tapping Clint's shoulder.
"No, let's do this right now." Clint says. "Three rounds, let's go."
"Clint, let it go." Steve sighs.
"No, no, no. Square up, old man, square up." Clint says as he puts his fists up.
"You're nine years older than me!" Tony retorts.
"You look older, though." Clint says.
"Oh, shut the f-" Tony says.
"GUYS!" Natasha yells, pausing the argument.
"What?" Clint snaps.
"T-Bo's gone." Natasha says.
There's a moment of silence before Tony speaks.
"Peter's gonna kill you." Tony says.
-:•:-
The four plop down on the couch as the TV plays in the background.
"He's not in Peter's room." Steve sighs as he flops onto the couch.
"Couldn't find him in the kitchen." Natasha says.
"Not in the hallways." Clint says.
"And FRIDAY can't find him." Tony says before putting his face into his hands.
"What are we gonna do?" Clint asks.
"We? We?!" Tony yells. "Clint, this is your fault!"
"Don't you think I know that?" Clint asks.
"I mean, you did lose my kid's guinea pig, so you're lacking in some categories."
Clint glares at Tony.
"Look, sitting here moping won't do any good." Natasha says. "So, we need to figure out how we're gonna break the news to him."
"I'll break the news to him." Clint sighs. "But no name blaming when I tell him."
"Tell him what?" Peter asks as he stands behind the couch.
"My GOD!" Steve gasps, clutching his chest. "Can we please stop doing that?"
"You're a supersoldier." Tony says. "You do this all the time."
"It's still spooky." Steve says.
Peter wraps his arms around Tony's neck and kisses him on the cheek. "I thought you were busy today."
"No!" Tony says. "Why didn't you ask me to drop you?"
"Happy owed me a favor." Peter says.
"Okay, that's acceptable." Tony says.
"I'm gonna go put my stuff down and feed T-Bo first." Peter says as he picks up his backpack.
"About that-" Clint starts.
"Hmm?" Peter asks as he turns around.
"Nothing." Natasha says with a smile.
"Uh, okay." Peter says, a confused look on his face as he walks to his room.
"Why'd you interrupt me?" Clint asks.
"Because he didn't even settle down yet?" Natasha hisses. "that's like serving someone divorce papers on their anniversary."
"You're making it harder on him!" Clint says.
"Hey, where's T-Bo?" Peter asks as he comes out of his room. "Couldn't find him anywhere."
Steve, Tony, Clint, and Natasha look at each other.
"It was him." Tony, Steve, and Natasha say while pointing at Clint.
"I thought we said we weren't doing that!" Clint gasps.
"Huh?" Peter asks.
"Uh, Peter, you should sit down." Clint says.
"What's going on?" Peter asks as he sits next to Tony. Tony reaches a hand out and rubs Peter's thigh.
"Peter, I am so, so sorry, but... I lost T-Bo." Clint says.
Peter blinks for a second. "What?"
"I had an obstacle course for him to run through, but I took my eyes off of him for one second, and next thing we knew, he was gone." Clint says.
"Y-you lost T-Bo?" Peter says as he looks at the rug.
"Yeah." Clint sighs.
Peter gets up and walks to his room before slamming his door shut.
"That didn't go as bad as I thought it would." Clint says before Steve and Natasha hit him.
"I'll go check on him." Tony says as he gets up.
"I'll come with you." Natasha says.
The two walk to Peter's room and Tony knocks on his door.
"Are you Clint?" Peter asks.
"No." Natasha says.
After a minute, Peter says, "Okay, come in."
The two walk in to see Peter crying as he packs up T-Bo's cage.
"Oh, Pete, you don't have to do that now." Tony says as he crouches down next to Peter.
"Yes, I do." Peter sobs.
Tony wraps his arms around Peter's shoulders and Peter buries his face into his chest.
"I had him for two weeks." Peter hiccups.
"I know, I know." Tony says as Natasha kneels next to the two.
Peter cries for a couple more minutes before lifting his head up.
"Why does Clint have to suck so much?" Peter sniffles.
"Because he's Clint." Tony says and Peter laughs.
"So what are you gonna do now?" Natasha asks.
"I think I'm gonna have a funeral for him." Peter sniffles. "It's only right."
"Whatever you feel is the right thing to do, we support you." Tony says.
"It doesn't feel like he's gone, you know?" Peter says. "Like, it hasn't sunken in yet."
"Well, that's the first stage to grief." Natasha says.
"I know, but still." Peter says before wiping his eyes. "Okay, I gotta do my homework."
"You sure?" Tony asks. "I could call in a mental health day for you tomorrow."
"Really?" Peter asks as he looks at Tony.
"Yeah, I needed an excuse not to work tomorrow anyways." Tony says and Peter smiles.
"I guess I could use a break." Peter mumbles.
"There you go." Natasha says as she pulls Peter into a hug. "It'll be okay, детка."
"Guys, I'm fine." Peter says.
"Okay, okay." Tony says. "Now, c'mon, let's go have a hate-watch marathon."
-:•:-
Tony held Peter in his arms while he sobbed for the umpteenth time that morning.
"He had the cutest nose!" Peter wails. "It was so twitchy!"
"Aw, Peter." MJ says through Peter's phone. "I'm so sorry."
"I didn't even get to meet him yet." Ned says into the microphone and Peter sobs again.
"Ned, you suck at this." MJ says.
"I din't really know him." Ned says.
"It hurts!" Peter cries.
"I know, bubba, I know." Tony says as Clint walks over.
Tony shoots him a glare before Clint signs, "We found him."
"What?" Tony asks.
"What?" Peter sniffles as he lifts his head.
"Huh?" Tony asks as he looks down at Peter.
"T-Bo got confused, too!" Peter wails before dropping his head into Tony's chest.
"Hey, guys, I don't think Peter's gonna calm down soon, so we gotta go." Tony says into the phone.
"That's okay." MJ says. "I guess I can go back to paying attention in class."
"You're in class?" Tony asks. "On the phone?"
"Gotta go, Tony, see you later! Love you, Petie, bye!" MJ says before hanging up.
Tony turns off Peter's phone before turning to Clint.
"Where did you find him?" Tony signs back.
"He was in the laundry room." Clint signs. "Bring Peter to his room in ten minutes."
Tony nods before looking down at Peter, who starts hiccuping and hyperventilating.
"Bubba, you gotta breathe, okay?" Tony says as he mimes deep breaths.
Peter eventually copies Tony's breathing and slumps against his chest.
"You tired yourself out?" Tony asks and Peter nods.
"Wanna go to bed?" Tony pries and Peter shrugs.
"C'mon, spiderling, you need a nap." Tony says as he stands up.
"No." Peter whines.
"Yes," Tony whines back, "you're exhausted."
"No, I'm not." Peter says before yawning.
"Uh huh." Tony says, holding his hand out to Peter.
Peter slumps against Tony's side and Tony wraps his arm around his shoulders.
The two walk to Peter's room and Peter frowns.
"That's weird. I didn't leave my door open." Peter says.
"Oh, that is weird." Tony says as he opens the door.
"SURPRISE!" Clint, Steve, and Natasha yell.
"Huh?" Peter asks. "Why is he in here?"
"We found T-Bo!" Clint says.
"What?" Peter asks, narrowing his eyes. "You better not be lying to me."
"We're not." Natasha says as she takes T-Bo out of his cage.
Peter gasps. "Oh my god, it is T-Bo!"
Natasha hands T-Bo to Peter and he cradles the guinea pig to his chest.
"Oh, honey, I missed you so much!" Peter squeals. "Where did you find him?"
"Actually, Clint found him." Steve says.
"Yeah, I found him in the laundry room as I was sorting out the colors." Clint says.
"So that's why he smells like fabric softener." Peter says. "Thank you, Clint."
"No problem." Clint says. "I hated seeing you cry and knowing it was my fault."
"And we put a GPS bracelet on his foot so he can't get lost again." Natasha says as Peter lifts T-Bo up.
"You made it?" Peter asks as he turns to Tony. "Wait, you knew?"
"Clint asked for an adjustable GPS ring, I didn't question it." Tony says. "But I'm glad to see you happy again."
"So, Clint's not babysitting anymore?" Peter asks and everyone laughs.
"No, Clint will not be the designated guinea pig sitter." Clint says. "Especially because he bit me."
"He's never done that before." Peter says, looking at T-Bo. "Guess that means he hates you."
"I think I can live with that." Clint says.