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"A getaway trip to the Great Swamps, with a wonderful view and many activities, such as kayaking- Tony, what is this?" Pepper asks.
"A proposal." Tony says before smiling.
"You want to take us-"
"And Peter!"
"-and Peter, to a swamp?" Pepper asks.
"Yeah, it'll be fun! I never got to do a father-son trip, so I was hoping I would do it with Peter!" Tony says. "Look, there's even a gift shop by the entrance."
"Honey, does Peter even like the outdoors?" Pepper asks as Natasha walks in.
"Outdoors?" She asks.
"Don't worry about it, fire hydrant." Tony says.
"I know where you sleep." Natasha says as she picks up the brochure. "Oh, this is cute, when are we going?"
" We?" Tony sputters.
"You didn't think you'd be able to go on a trip without us, did you?" Natasha asks before laughing. "Oh, Tony."
"What's so funny?" Tony asks.
"We're definitely coming with you." Natasha says. " I wonder if Steve has a bucket hat."
"This is a surprise for Peter," Tony says, "well, it was supposed to be."
"Oh, don't worry, he won't find out." Natasha says as Steve, Bucky, and Sam walk into the kitchen.
"What's going on?" Steve pants as he opens the fridge, grabbing three water bottles.
"We're going to the Great Swamps." Natasha says.
"You want me to go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with you guys? Are you trying to kill me?" Sam asks.
"With our luck, we'd kill ourselves." Steve jokes.
"It sounds nice, actually." Bucky says. "I've never been to a swamp before."
"They stink." Pepper says. "Why can't we just go to one of our islands?"
"Because we always go there." Tony says. "This is a chance to try something new."
"How's that worked out for you in the past?" Pepper asks and Tony flicks her shoulder.
"C'mon, Pepper," Steve says, "you don't wanna learn how to fish?"
"No." Pepper says.
"Look, we're going, and that's it. I wanna have one trip with Peter where it's not us relaxing on a white beach with crystal clear waters." Tony says.
"It's your funeral." Pepper says before kissing him on the cheek. "Gotta go to my 3:15, love you."
"Love you too." Tony says.
"Bye, guys." Pepper says as she stands up and walks out.
Tony waits for her to leave before turning to the four.
"We're still going, right?" Natasha asks.
"Of course we are." Tony says as he pulls out his phone. "But he can't know you guys're coming, or he'll get too excited."
"Let me handle everything, and you sit back and relax." Natasha says.
"I'm scared." Tony says.
"You should be." Bucky, Sam, and Steve say.
-*-
"Come on, it'll be fun." Tony says as Happy shoves the suitcases into the trunk.
"It's a couple of days in a swampside cabin, how much fun can you have?" Happy groans.
" I think it's a great chance to get to experience the rugged outdoors!" Peter says as he walks over to the car.
"Thank you, Pete." Tony says.
"You're welcome." Peter says as he puts on a bucket hat. "There's WiFi, right?"
"No!" Pepper groans. "Not a single fucking bar."
"Language!" Tony gasps and Pepper glares at him.
"No WiFi?!" Peter yells.
"Okay, calm down-" Tony starts.
"What about Netflix, Hulu, Instagram! How am I gonna talk to MJ and Ned? We were gonna FaceTime tonight!" Peter continues.
"You can spend time with people other than your girlfriend and your best friend." Tony says.
"No, I can't!" Peter says.
Tony sighs. "Look, the cabin is already set up, it's just four days to have some good, wholehearted fun! Plus, it'll be fun with everyone else there!"
"Everyone else?" Peter and Pepper ask.
"You're not the only one who needs their friends." Tony mumbles before going to close the trunk.
At that moment, Steve and Natasha drag Bucky outside.
"I'm not going!" Bucky huffs as he struggles in Steve's grip.
"Some sun will be good for you!" Steve says as he pushes Bucky to his car.
"The Bachelorette is good for me." Bucky deadpans.
"But it's a pretty cabin." Natasha says.
"Pretty cabin my ass, I wanna see what happens with Hannah and Peter." Bucky grumbles before getting into Steve's car.
Steve sighs and bangs his head against the car roof as Natasha walks over to Peter.
"Switch places with me." Natasha says to him.
"No!" Tony says as Peter opens his mouth.
"I can't sit in a car with that baby for four hours!" Natasha says.
"Baby?!" Bucky yells as Steve says, "Yes, you can!"
"Yes, baby!" Natasha retorts. "And I can't, Steve, please don't make me."
"Wait, you're leaving the car?" Sam asks as he walks out. "I wanna leave too, lemme out!"
"Who's leaving?" Clint asks as he lugs a cooler outside.
"Someone's leaving?" Bruce asks as he walks outside.
"Nat's switching cars." Sam says.
"We can do that?" Clint asks. "I want Tony in my car."
"Me?" Tony asks. "Why?"
"You're the most tolerable." Clint says.
"Hey!" Everyone says in unison.
"Okay, everyone, calm down!" Pepper says and everyone turn to her.
"Tony, Peter, Happy, Natasha and I are going in one car. Steve, Bruce, Bucky, Clint, and Sam are going in another. I don't want any arguments or there will be consequences. Do I make myself clear?" Pepper says.
"Yes, ma'am." Clint, Bruce, and Steve say.
"You got it." Sam says.
"Fine." Bucky huffs.
"Oh thank God." Natasha says.
"Oh, and by the way, Tony, I call shotgun." Pepper says.
"Are you kidding me?" Tony groans.
"I call left window!" Peter says.
"I call right!" Natasha calls out. "Sorry, Tony."
"This is gonna suck." Tony groans.
-*-
Music is quietly playing from the radio as the car drives up the interstate.
Peter shifts in his seat as he nuzzles deeper into Tony's side.
"This sucks." Tony whispers.
"Peter doesn't seem to be complaining." Natasha says as she reads a book.
"Because he's sleeping." Tony says. "I'm not gonna wake him up just because I'm bored."
"You sure abo[ut that?" Pepper asks from the front seat.
"Your passenger seat status invalidates your opinion." Tony says.
"Uh huh." Pepper says.
"She's not wrong." Natasha says.
"I have morals!" Tony gasps.
"Had."
"I can't believe this." He groans as Peter moves in his sleep.
"Shut up, Tony." Peter mumbles before tightening his grip on Tony's arm.
"Listen to the spiderbaby." Pepper says and Tony sighs.
-*-
"Oh my GOD, get out!" Clint groans as he runs out of the car, pulling on his shirt's neckline to cover his nose.
"Man, what did you eat?" Sam says as he walks out of the car.
"I said I was gassy." Bucky says. "Not my fault you didn't believe me."
"Gassy is one thing." Steve says as he gets out of the car. Being a sulfur bomb is another."
"I said I was sorry!" Bucky says as he gets out.
"And that's why I didn't go in their car." Natasha says as she gets out.
"Pete." Tony says, shaking Peter's shoulder. "We're here."
"Mmmm, five more minutes." Peter says as he scrunches his eyes closed.
"No can do, boo." Tony says, persistently tapping his shoulder.
Peter whines and sits up, arching his back in an exaggerated way as he stretches. He opens his eyes and glares at Tony.
"Morning, princess." Tony coos.
"Shut up." Peter whines as he opens his door.
Tony laughs and gets out of the car.
"It's okay, sleeping beauty, your room has a comfy bed." Tony continues.
"Make him stop." Peter groans as he walks past Pepper.
"Tony." Pepper warns.
"I wasn't doing anything." Tony says.
Happy pants as he lugs three suitcases up the cabin stairs.
"What did you pack, bricks?" He huffs.
" Maybe ." Tony says. "DUM-E did get into my suitcase before we left."
"Don't blame this on him!" Peter gasps. "You leave that lovable robot alone!"
"He's my kid!" Tony says.
"No!" Peter huffs. "You're a bully!"
"He's not wrong." Bruce says. "You really abuse your robot."
"Can everyone stop agreeing with Peter?" Tony asks.
"You're just mad I'm right, bully!" Peter yells as he walks into the cabin.
-*-
Peter, Natasha, Steve, and Bucky are wading in the swamp while Tony and Pepper sit on rocks on the grass.
"I'm tired of these damn leeches!" Bucky huffs as he viciously yanks a leech off of his leg and throws it into the water.
"Don't yank them so roughly!" Tony says from the shore.
"I'm fine!" Bucky yells back and Tony sighs.
"They can handle more than some measly leeches." Pepper says.
"You say that now, and by tonight, we'll be in the ER for one of those idiots." Tony says.
"Don't jinx it." Pepper says.
"We can hear you!" The four yell to Tony.
"Right. Super-hearing." Tony says and Bucky glares at him.
"Oh, my god, did you see that turtle?" Peter gasps as he looks at the grass.
"Where?" Tony asks, looking behind him to see a turtle looking at him.
"Oh, it's so pretty!" Pepper gasps, pulling out her phone. "Tony, pick it up for a picture!"
"But he's just vibing." Tony says.
"You are around Peter way too much." Pepper says as she snaps multiple pictures.
Tony's about to say something before Peter lets out a yelp and falls into the water.
"Is he okay?" Tony asks as he gets up off his rock.
Natasha pulls a spluttering Peter out of the water.
"He's fine," Natasha says, " I think ."
"I swear something bit me." Peter gasps before going into a fit of coughs.
"Where?" Steve asks.
"On my thigh." Peter groans as he sways to the side.
"Whoa." Bucky says, putting an arm out to catch him. " Maybe we should get him out."
"No, I didn't find the perfect stone yet!" Peter whines.
"Peter, we need to get you need to get out, now." Steve says as he lifts his head up.
"I'm fine, stop worrying about me!" Peter whines.
"Peter," Steve says in his 'Captain voice (coined by Tony)', "we're getting out now. I'm not arguing with you about this."
Peter's about to say something when Bucky lifts him up and starts walking to shore.
"Put me down!" Peter grunts, trying to wriggle out of his grip.
"You almost fell over, I don't trust you to stand on your two feet." Bucky says as he gets to shore.
"What happened?" Pepper asks.
"Something is sucking on his thigh." Steve says as him and Natasha wade to shore.
"I'm fine!" Peter groans as he starts swaying.
"Uh huh." Tony says. "Lemme see."
"I'm not letting you take off my pants." Peter says, flinching away from Tony's hand.
"I've seen worse, kid." Tony says as he lifts up Peter's short leg. "What the fuck is that?"
An annelid is sucking on his inner thigh, its body expanding as it latches onto his iliac vein.
"Ow, ow, ow!" Peter whines as Tony pokes it.
"Do you think Bruce'll know what it is?" Pepper asks as Peter groans before vomiting.
"Did he just vomit on me?" Bucky asks with his eyes closed.
"Do you want the truth?" Steve asks.
"Yes, I want the truth!" Bucky snaps.
" Maybe ." Natasha says and Bucky groans.
"You can take a shower later, we need to get him to a hospital." Tony says.
"No," Peter says, "no hospital."
"You can't make that choice anymore." Tony says.
-*-
"I have absolutely no clue what that is." Bruce says as he looks at Peter. "It doesn't look like an animal from Earth."
"Asgard?" Tony asks.
"Let's hope not." Bruce says. "You know how much more deadlier their animals are."
"Get this thing off of me!" Peter cries as he rips the seat cushion.
"Are you sure you called the ambulance?" Tony asks Steve.
"They're almost here." Steve says as Peter yells and grips onto Bucky's arm.
"Are you okay?" Steve asks, stepping closer.
"I'm fine, just bring him some painkillers." Bucky says.
"You sure?" Steve asks as Peter writhes on the couch.
"Steve, I'm fine." Bucky says before Peter hits him in the head with the ripped seat cushion. "Hey, no hitting."
"You're too loud, Shut UP!" Peter yells before sobbing.
"Sheesh." Clint says as he walks in with a bowl of grapes. "What's got his panties in a knot?"
"He has an alien leech that's draining him of his blood." Bucky says.
"DRAINING?" Peter yells.
" Really , Bucky?" Tony asks.
"Is it not drinking up his blood?" Bucky whispers and Tony shakes his head.
"This hurts." Peter whines and Tony walks over to him.
"I was gonna ask how you're feeling, but I'm glad I didn't." Tony says.
"Good." Peter says. "I might've thrown something at you."
"At your old man? I'm crushed." Tony says as Steve lets in the EMTs.
"What happened?" One of them asks.
"He was in the swamp and a leech stuck onto him." Tony says. "It won't come off and he's starting to lose feeling in his leg."
"Hey, honey, what's your name?" Another asks Peter.
"Peter." Peter groans.
"Okay, Peter, we're gonna put you on the stretcher, is that okay?" She asks.
Peter nods and the two EMTs lift him onto the stretcher and strap him on.
"I'll go with him to the tower, you guys stay here." Tony says.
"I'm going with you." Pepper, Steve, Bucky, and Natasha say at the same time.
" I don't think the five of us can fit into the ambulance." Tony says.
"We'll ride in the car." Pepper says.
"But the trip..." Tony says.
"He matters more than this dumb excuse for a bonding exercise." Bucky says.
"Fine." Tony sighs.
-*-
Bucky holds onto Peter's hand as he wails, writhing on the hospital bed.
"Mr. Stark, we have to remove the animal so we can start a blood transfusion." The doctor whispers to Tony.
"Can't he at least go under anesthesia?" Tony whispers back as the nurse tries to unlatch the leech, making Peter scream.
"It'd be detrimental to wait for an anesthesiologist to come in." He says. "We're gonna have to do it while he's awake."
"Fine." Tony says before turning to Bucky. "Keep him distracted."
"For how long?" Bucky asks.
"As long as you can." Tony says and Bucky nods.
Tony grabs a hand towel and rolls it into a ball.
"Okay, Peter, clench down on this." Tony says.
"Why?" Peter asks.
" Just .. do it." Tony says and Peter opens his mouth.
Peter clenches down on the towel and Bucky starts talking to him.
"Okay, so lemme tell you about what happened in the gym yesterday. So Sam was working out with me, right, and we were doing chin-ups-" Bucky starts.
The nurse gives Tony and Bucky a signal and Bucky keeps talking.
"-and Clint walked in and tried to rhino Sam-" Bucky manages to say before the nurse attempts to unlatch the leech. Peter lets out a muffled wail and tears pour from his eyes as his back arches off the bed. After a moment, he sags onto the bed and starts sobbing.
"Why didn't it come off?" Tony asks, rubbing a hand up and down Peter's arm.
"We may have to kill the animal to remove it, its suction is too strong." The doctor says.
"So we have to do it again?" Bucky sighs.
"No! No more!" Peter screams from behind the gag.
"We have to get this off of you, you could die from blood loss or infection." The nurse calmly says.
"I don't care, leave me to die!" Peter sobs, kicking the nurse lightly when she gets closer to his thigh.
"Mr. Stark, we have to restrain him for the removal." The doctor says. "It's too risky having him moving when it comes off."
Tony sighs. "I'll ask Steve to help with the adamantium cuffs."
Tony kisses Peter's forehead before walking into the hallway.
Steve, Natasha, and Pepper look up from their seats.
"I'm kinda glad I didn't go in." Pepper says when she sees Tony's face.
"We have to restrain him with adamantium." Tony sighs.
Steve stands up. "I'll help you wrangle him into them."
"Tony, don't you think you need a break? You look exhausted." Natasha says.
"That was the point of this trip." Tony groans into his hands.
"Uh-uh, no more of this." Pepper says. "We'll rent out the cabin for the rest of the week, and I'll try to clear everyone's calendars. We deserve this break."
"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" Tony says as Pepper wraps her arms around Tony.
"A couple thousand times, maybe a million." Pepper says. "Now, go help the spiderbaby."
"Don't let him catch you saying that." Tony laughs.
-*-
"Don't look at me like that." Tony says as Peter sulks at him, Steve, and Bucky.
"I can't believe you did this to me." Peter says through the towel gag.
"You'll thank us in three minutes." Steve says.
"No, I won't." Peter says as the nurse walks up to him.
"How do you feel, Peter?" The nurse asks.
"Tired." Peter mumbles.
"Okay, distract him." The doctor whispers. "We're doing it without warning."
"Tony, where's the mission report from last week?" Steve asks.
"I... gave it to you." Tony says.
"No, you didn't." Steve says. "You know, you always do this."
"Do what?" Tony says. "I handed in your stupid mission report, so stop getting your spandex in a knot."
" Really ?" Steve asks. "Who'd you give it to?"
"Why don't you ask cyborg over there, he was the one who collected all of the reports." Tony says.
"Hey, don't bring me into this, I handed them in." Bucky says.
"I gave it to you, so the real question is where did you put it?" Tony asks.
"Yeah, Bucky, where's the mission report?" Steve asks.
"Why are we pinning this on me, I was just trying to be a nice friend and collect everyone's reports." Bucky says.
"Well, you fucked that up, so maybe you should stick to what you do best." Tony says.
"And what's that?" Bucky asks.
Peter's focused on the argument, so he doesn't notice the doctor injecting the leech with a syringe. The leech falls limp after a minute, and the nurse wedges a scalpel under it. Peter howls in relief before passing out.
The three look at each other before Tony says, "Well, that went well."
"No, seriously , Tony, I need that mission report." Steve says.
"I'm telling you, I gave it to Bucky!"
-*-
Peter's surrounded by a warm, cozy feeling, and he nuzzles into the source of heat to stay warm. Someone lets out a chuckle before fingers start scratching his back. Peter mewls and relaxes in the touch.
"You feeling better?" Tony whispers and Peter opens his eyes.
He looks around the room to see Steve, Bucky, Pepper, and Natasha sleeping in the hospital room on uncomfortable chairs .
" I feel ...floaty." Peter says and Tony laughs.
"That would be the morphine." Tony whispers.
"I want more." Peter slurs.
"No, bubba, I think you're good." Tony says and Peter flashes him a dopey smile.
"Well," Peter mumbles before looking at Tony. "can I get a hug?"
Tony wraps his arms around Peter's shoulders before Peter pulls on his sleeve.
"What?" Tony asks, looking down at him.
"'M cold, and tired." Peter pouts.
"I could get you your blanket." Tony says, starting to move towards the door.
"No," Peter whines, clenches onto Tony's sleeve. "cuddle."
Tony chuckles. "Fine."
Tony toes off his shoes and gets under the thin blanket before Peter clings to his side.
"Okay, get some rest this time." Tony says.
"Okay." Peter yawns, nuzzling onto Tony's shirt. "You sleep too."
"I sleep too." Tony says, leaning onto the pillow and closing his eyes.
fin